It was an exciting prospect, though. All aspects of my life seemed to be exciting lately!
Chapter Five All Apple Pie
Its been such a good year for the apples and pears that we get from a member or our Acorn barter group, that Im starting to feel sick of the sight of them! The best have been individually wrapped in tissue and stored in boxes. Festoons of dried fruit rings hang from the kitchen ceiling, there are jars and jars of apple jelly, apple and bramble jam and apple sauce, and one side of my second freezer, in the garden shed, is stacked with pies, crumbles andpurée.The apple press has been fully employed and demijohns of wine bubble gently in the kitchen inglenook.
Im appled out!
Cakes and Ale
Why do you want to do the whole church wedding thing, with a meringue dress and all the rest of it, Libby? I asked curiously next day. I mean, it is your third time and youre already living with Tim!
We were standing in one of the bedrooms in the Elizabethan part of Blessings, the one with the window that had blown in and been left hanging open, so that the rain had made a mess of the floorboards beneath. Harry had been over to mend the catch that morning and wed just finished pinning a sheet of polythene over the broken panes to keep any more rain from getting onto the floorboards, until they could be replaced.
We were both wearing jeans and jumpers, though of course Libbys was designer, lush oatmeal cashmere, to my jumble sale and hand-knitted (by Pansy Grace). Libby had incongruously topped her ensemble with a long wedding veil and, since it was a dark day, she looked rather ghostly against the pale plaster walls studded with heraldic emblems, most of them grimacing creatures.
She turned to look at me, opening her round, forget-me-not-blue eyes even wider, like a surprised kitten just before it inserts its needle-sharp teeth into your hand. Yes, but Im widowed, Josie, and Tims ex-wife is a Catholic and managed to get the marriage annulled on some technicality, so were allowed the full monty if we want it.
Non-consummation of the marriage? I asked with interest, that being the only grounds for annulment Id ever heard of. (And I hadnt known about Tims brief early marriage before she told me, eitherthat had been a surprise.)
Absolutely not! she said decidedly. Then a soft smile appeared on her face, one that was totally different from any expression Id ever seen her wear before the advent into her life of Tim Rowland-Knowles. Soft was something she had never been, even as a mother. Especially as a mother, since Im sure she was so terrified that Pia would turn out like her granny that she was often way too strict with her. No wonder the poor child had rebelled!
Anyway, she added dreamily, this time its entirely different. Before I met Tim I only allowed myself to fall for rich menand I did truly love Phillip and Joe, you know I did.
I nodded, because she had been rosy and starry-eyed both times being, despite her crisp-shelled exterior, a romantic at heart.
But I hadnt realised I could feel soso deeply head-over-heels, and fluttery in the stomach when I see Tim, and as if everything is new and bright and beautiful. So I want to trip down the aisle looking and feeling like a Madonnatotally pure and extra virgin.
You will, I assured her, touched, and I didnt ask which Madonna she had in mind because I thought I could guess. Indeed, she was humming a very familiar tune as she adjusted about three miles of antique gossamer thread veiling, secured by a pearl and diamond tiara, on her natural (if slightly enhanced) golden hair.
It was a Spottiswode heirloom and had been Tims mothers bridal veil, which Dorrie had bestowed on her earlier that morning, as a familial seal of approval. Libby looked like an angel in itbut actually, she looks like an angel in anything. I sometimes wish I did too, but Im tall, sturdy and grave, with perfectly nondescript blue-grey eyes, a cloud of unruly, fine, dark auburn hair and pale, sallow skin.
Ill have to take the veil with me when I go down to London to find my wedding dress, she said, or it wont match. Its going to be difficult finding something off the peg thats suitable, especially in petite, but theres no time to have one made. Ill take your measurements with me, Josie, but youre a pretty standard size twelve, so I should be able to find you something
I cant imagine why you want me to be a bridesmaid, when you must know hordes of younger and prettier women.
Yes, I do, and thats precisely the point: I dont want my thunder stolen and youll make a perfect foil, she said frankly, examining her flawless and Botoxed-smooth complexion in a clouded mirror, before pushing the veil back a little so that a few more gilded curls peeped out. Id have had Pia too, but since she put the phone down on me as soon as I told her about Tim and now isnt answering my calls, I dont think shes going to turn up. I dont even know where she is.
Youre worried about her, arent you?
Of course Im worried, but what can I do? Shes turned eighteen and shes got moneyshes out of my control. She hasnt listened to a word Ive said since she hit the teens anyway, so its probably as well I dont know what shes getting up to.
She shrugged resignedly and returned to the subject in hand. You know, Josie, you shouldnt put yourself down all the time, because you are pretty in your own unusual way when you scrub up, besides being the only real female friend Ive ever had, so I truly want you at my wedding, as my bridesmaid.
WellOK, I said, touched. She had asked me the previous two times, but luckily there had been hordes of little granddaughters of the bridegroom simply panting to climb into fuchsia silk taffeta, so Id managed to get out of it. But do you think you could find me a dress in any other colour than pink?
To be honest, Im not a terribly girly girl, which is probably just as well. It wouldnt be practical to go all pastel and frilly when I spend most of my time working in the garden in jeans and wellies, and the rest wrapped in a huge pinafore cooking, jamming, wine-making or baking and decorating cakes.
I suppose blue would be better, especially the same dirty French blue as your eyes, and it would flatter your sallow skin more, she agreed candidly. Its a pity the wedding is late in the year, because you look so much better in the summer when your skin has a bit of a glow.
Thanks.
But pink is more weddingy and anyway, its going to be a question of what I can find in your size. Besides, Im going to have a hint of pink in my bouquet and in the roses on the cake, so it would tie in.
Youre quite sure about the cake design before I start putting it together?
Libby had certainly sounded definite about what she wantedthe Leaning Tower of Pisa, with an ascending swirl of blush-pink roses entwined around it. Hence all the little round cakes Id been baking, ready to stack up high and ice.
Libby had certainly sounded definite about what she wantedthe Leaning Tower of Pisa, with an ascending swirl of blush-pink roses entwined around it. Hence all the little round cakes Id been baking, ready to stack up high and ice.
Oh, yes, and Ive told Gina to send me some postcards of the tower, to help you get it right, she said, Gina being her devoted tuttofare, or maid-of-all-work, in Pisa.
If Pia does change her mind once shes over the shock, she could take my place as bridesmaid, I suggested hopefully, because although Id always secretly yearned to walk down the aisle, it was as a bride, not an also-ran.
I hope she will change her mind, but Im not holding my breath. But look on the bright side, Josie, if Ben sees you looking all bridal, flowery and pretty, perhaps hell finally decide to tie the knot. And, come on, you know you want to!
No I dont! We dont need to be married to show we care about each other, I lied firmly. Especially not at this stage. Weddings are for other people, not us.
Libby, who knew me all too well, blew a raspberry and even as I said the words, I was feeling the familiar pang of sorrow and regret that Granny had never seen me walk down the aisle, as she had so desperately wanted toand now she never would. It had felt very selfish of us not to give her that happinessor selfish of Ben, because of course I would have loved to
Still, the upside was that at least I hadnt got Bens ghastly, social-climbing mother as my ma-in-law. I hadnt even seen them since they moved to Wilmslow several years previously, though Ben visited them sometimes. They still thought I ruined his life by making him move back to Neatslake instead of staying in London and becoming famous, which they were convinced he would have been before now. But it was his decision just as much as mine. I sometimes wondered if he had ever told them that. But I expect he had and they just didnt believe it.
Ben and Ive been together since I was thirteen, Libby. Thats rock-solid enough, isnt it, I asked, even without a wedding ring?
She gave me a sideways look from her deceptively innocent eyes. But havent you ever found that a bit smothering? Youve never really fallen in love, or out of love, just jogged comfortably along on a plateau of contentment, doing everything the way Ben wanted it.
The way we both wanted it, I corrected her. Im living the life I always dreamed of and Im not a slave, even if I do think its important to create a comfortable environment for him to work in. And, whats more, I did fall in love with Ben, the moment he first spoke to me!
Puppy love!
Maybe it started that way, but its still going strong. If you remember, my game plan was the direct opposite of yours. I just wanted to stay in Neatslake for ever when I grew up.
Which you have, apart from two years in London, while Ben was at college. But while Ive just really and truly fallen deeply in love for the first time with husband number three, there you are, still ambling along in your little rut with Ben. I dont suppose youve ever even looked at anyone else?
Nowell, apart from Sting, before he started to look like that coconut head in the Tom Hanks castaway film. But Ben hasnt looked at anyone else either, Libs. Were fine as we are. Everything in the garden is perfector almost perfect, I qualified honestly. I wish he didnt have to go off to London so much lately, for instance. That is a fly in the ointment.
Its the price of fame, she shrugged. You should be glad hes finally made it big and his work is fetching good money. All the more reason to marry him now, before some other woman decides hes a good prospect and snaps him up.
I smiled. Libby, thats not going to happen and you know it!
You cant bank on that. He looks pretty tasty in an expensive suit and with a decent haircut.
It wasnt expensive. He bought it from Tesco, though it was quite a good fit.
The one I last saw him wearing didnt come from Tesco, she said positively.
Oh? Actually, he did say something about buying another one and hes got some smarter jeans, but he mainly keeps his London clothes at Russell and Marys flat so I havent seen most of them.
You should see that suit. I wouldnt have known it was the same Ben, when I popped into the opening of his one-man exhibition at the Egremont Gallery in May. She paused. He didnt see me; he was talking to a tall blonde for agesfortyish, expensive-looking. He seemed quite engrossed in what she was saying.
I grinned. I think I know who that must have been. He told me all about herhe calls her his patroness! Ive forgotten her name, but shes an investment banker and nearer fifty than forty, though I expect shes very well preserved. Theres family money too, and she must be very well off because shes bought several pieces of his work and hes charging quite steep prices now.
HmmWell, he certainly looks expensive these days, Libby said ambiguously, and I still think you ought to go down to London with him more often and keep an eye on him.
I felt a sudden, unexpected, pang of doubt. It was true that the Ben I knew and loved, the tall, rugged one in hand-knitted jumpers and tattered jeans, with his thick, light-brown hair rumpled and all on end, had to spruce himself up a bit when he was away and often even returned looking like a total stranger, until hed changed back into his old clothes again.
But I said firmly, I trust Ben and he hates having to leave me so often. He phones me up every night when hes away, from Russell and Marys house. We both enjoyed living in London when he was at the RCA, but it wasnt where we wanted to live for ever, and now we just prefer it for visits. Neatslake is home.
Is Mary still making those dreary pots?
Mostly large one-off ceramic pieces, and they sell very well. She and Russell have studio space in a converted warehouse in Camden and Bens just taken one there, to give him a London base to store his stuff. He and some of his ex-RCA friends have formed a group to exhibit together, but of course his inspiration is here, so hell always want to spend most of his time here.
Well, I still think you ought to make more effort, Josiespice the relationship up a bit. And with men, even old ones, never, ever take your eye off the ball. She thought about that for a minute, blinked her preposterously long, tinted eyelashes and amended, Balls.
She may be the expert on most men, but Ben was different. I know you mean it for the best, Libs, but you dont understand. Ben loves me the way I am and were happily living the life we always wanted. Money, material things and marriage have never been that important to us. Bens work is, though, and its wonderful that its getting the recognition it deserves at last. Besides, even if I wanted to go to London with him, I couldnt keep going off and leaving Harry to cope with everything. Hes getting so frail now that Im always afraid hes going to fall over and really hurt himself.
You cant build your life around an elderly neighbour, even if you do have some sort of gardening commune going with him!
You know Harry is far more to me than just a neighbour, Libs, and hes been a huge support over the years. But now hes getting too frail even to walk his dog every dayand then sometimes he forgets to shut the hens up and Im afraid that that fox I saw one evening will come back and take them.