Both Simone and I nodded.
The Jade Emperor continued. The opium trade was purely because of the tea. Young Robert thought that if he could grow tea in a territory of the British Empire, then the traders would no longer need to sell the opium in China to pay for the tea.
He stole the tea, I said. There was a show on the History Channel a while ago.
I saw that too, it was very good, the Jade Emperor said. Anyway, he travelled the tea plantations looking for owners who would be patriotic enough to help end this destructive trade. He was aided by a young woman who was both powerful and naïve.
Not Jade, Simone said.
Yes. Jade took the young man to a plantation owned by a Shen. You might say the Shen had inherited the plantation when his demon master was destroyed. The Shen, being just as naïve as the young lady, provided Mr Fortune with seeds, plants and tame demons to cultivate them in the British Imperial Territory of India.
Demon master? Simone said. Gold was bound to a demon?
He lost a bet and was bound into the demons servitude, the Emperor said. The demon was destroyed, Gold was freed and he escaped with the deeds to a tea plantation the demon owned. He gave Robert Fortune the tea directly in defiance of an edict issued by me that no Celestial was to interfere in human affairs during that time of conflict.
The economy collapsed when the tea trade dried up, I said. And opium addicts with no supply filled the streets. It caused the Boxer Rebellion. I inhaled sharply as I understood. The Boxers worshipped John. They believed that Xuan Wu made them invincible. Gold helped cause the Rebellion. The civil war afterwards brought down the freaking Qing dynasty.
And led to a century of turmoil that our nation could barely afford, the Jade Emperor said. If we had retained control of the tea trade, it is possible we could have salvaged minor economic independence. As it was, we were at the mercy of the rest of the world. The West and Japan both moved in and carved us up. When they left, there was civil war again. You know the story.
Gold did this, Simone said. He gave Robert Fortune the tea.
And Jade helped him, the Emperor said. I knew what I was doing when I issued that order. They should have known better than to defy me; I work only for the best interests of my human subjects.
I straightened. Right. I understand now. Theyve been in servitude, what? Nearly a hundred years?
Not nearly long enough, the Tiger said.
Ah Bais right, I said. Leave them in my service until they have completely atoned.
The Jade Emperor gazed at me with wonder. I glanced at Simone, she had the same look on her face.
What?
You are so much like Ah Wu sometimes, its uncanny. Are you sure youre not his Serpent? the Emperor said.
I sighed. I have no idea what I am, Celestial Majesty. I looked up at him, full of hope. Could you have a look at me? You might know what I am.
What if she is his Serpent? Simone said. If he comes back and they rejoin?
Then shed probably disappear completely into him. Youd lose her, and gain his yang side. The Emperor smiled at his tea. Not an ideal situation for those who love you, I think, Lady Emma, whatever your feelings on the matter.
Simone glanced sharply at me.
I shook my head and looked down. I want it, Simone. I want to be part of him, to join with him. I want it more than anything in the world. I sighed and looked into her eyes. I want to be his Serpent.
You arent, Bai Hu said. Weve seen it. The Serpent shows up occasionally, wreaks havoc with the weather and then disappears again.
Thats true, its highly unlikely, the Jade Emperor said. He sipped his tea. Even I dont know what you are. I have never seen anything like you before.
I thought you knew all, I said with humour.
I know all in the Eastern Plane. Something about you is not part of this Plane and therefore beyond my knowledge, he said. Maybe it is part of your Western or Southern heritage. When Ah Wu returns and we have our conference we can find out more.
Simone leaned over the table and whispered, Please dont be Daddys Serpent. I couldnt bear to lose you when he returns.
Ill try not to be, Simone. Thats all I can promise.
Are we finished? the Jade Emperor said.
Thanks, Celestial Majesty, I said. I appreciate your time.
He waved it down. Not a problem, Emma. I nearly came down to see you anyway; I was sick to death of hearing about Leo.
The Jade Emperor rose and we did as well. Simone hesitated, then went to him and embraced him. She kissed him on the cheek.
Thanks for everything, she said.
He smiled up at her; she was about five centimetres taller than him. Youre welcome, sweetheart. Thanks for showing me your Celestial Form, its spectacular. Now. He put his arm around her waist and glanced from her to me. Id like to give you two some little gifts I have for you, but I want to do it with all the Imperial bullshit in front of everybody. Do you mind?
Do you have to? Simone whined.
He squeezed her around the waist. Oh, come on, make an old man happy.
Promise you wont make me take serpent form, Isaid.
Cross my heart. I never wanted to force you into serpent form; I just wanted you to show them that defiance is the right path to take when it is with good reason. But Simone, he looked up at her, it would be a good idea to take the full version of your True Form. Scare any potential suitors half to death. Pull in all the yin you can, wrap it around you. Make your eyes huge and black, your hair as well if you can. Be as scary as possible. Make them think twice about doing anything stupid to make me give them your hand. Carry Seven Stars, the blade bare. Have you tried to load it with energy?
Im not game.
Dont worry about it then. Just take your biggest, scariest Celestial Form.
Good idea, I said. Do it, Simone.
What are you going to give us though? Simone asked.
Just a couple of little things, the Emperor said. He squeezed her again. Youll do it for me?
She shrugged. Okay.
CHAPTER 7
General Qin announced us again. Bodhisattva Kwan Yin. Lord Bai Hu of the West. Princess Simone. Lady Emma Donahoe.
Why does he keep doing us in the wrong order? Simone said. You have precedence over Uncle Bai.
I raised my hand to hush her and we walked down the carpet again. Even more Celestials had turned up. The hall was nearly full.
We did the obeisance thing at the base of the dais, and this time the Emperor quickly told us to rise.
We stood and waited.
Er Lang raised a scroll and read from it, sounding unhappy. This time he was in human form, appearing as a normal, good-looking young Chinese warrior. His third eye was closed and undetectable. Lady Emma Donahoe, step forward.
I moved to the base of the steps that led up to the throne.
I moved to the base of the steps that led up to the throne.
The Jade Emperor rose from the throne and raised one hand. Approach, Lady Emma.
I bowed slightly, then climbed the stairs to the top. A young woman in a floating pink robe appeared behind the Emperor holding a black and silver cloisonné casket. The casket was about thirty centimetres long.
At the top of the stairs I fell to one knee and saluted again.
You are very good at this, the Emperor said.
I winked at him on the way back up.
He gestured for me to stand beside him and face the hall, and I did. The raised faces of hundreds of Celestials shone below me. Simone watched from the bottom of the dais, her own expression full of pride.
Lady Emma Donahoe is the Chosen of the Supreme Lord of the Dark Northern Heavens, the Emperor said loudly.
Everybody in the hall went completely still and silent. The Emperors voice echoed through the vast space.
The Dark Lord appointed Lady Emma to be Regent. She has been kept on probation; her performance has been monitored.
He nodded and the young woman approached with the casket. He opened the lid to reveal a black jade ruyi a thirty-centimetre long ornamental sceptre shaped like an archers bow, with a cloud design on one end and a set of pa kua symbols on the other. Twining snakes adorned the centre of the rod. Its flattened body had a central knob on the underside to hold it when it sat on the desk. Ruyi meant as one wills. It was a symbolic representation of the holders will and a fung shui method of gaining positive outcomes to decisions. Most of the Celestials in the hall held them as indicators of rank.
The Jade Emperor carefully lifted the ruyi out of the box and turned to me. He spoke loudly and firmly as he held the sceptre out. This ruyi represents the Dark Lords dominion. Lady Emma is no longer on probation; we confirm her rank and station as Regent of the Dark Northern Heavens, Ruler of the Celestial Mountain of Wudang, and Acting First Heavenly General.
I froze. First Heavenly General? I didnt have time for that! Simone had exams coming up, and the students needed to be organised after the end-of-year holiday trips home. And it was tax time soon.
Only in name, dont panic, Emma, the Emperor said. Er Lang can handle it.
I breathed a quiet sigh of relief, took the sceptre with both hands and bowed.
Turn to face them holding the ruyi, he said, then switched to out loud. We confirm Lady Emma Donahoe as Regent of the Dark Northern Heavens. Obey her as you obey the Dark Lord.
Everybody in the hall, even Simone, silently fell to one knee and saluted me; except for Kwan Yin who just nodded.
I turned to the Jade Emperor, knelt on one knee and saluted him as First Heavenly General with the ruyi resting in the crook of my left elbow. I sneaked a look at Er Lang; he was glowering at me. Uh-oh.
Dismissed, the Emperor said.
I saluted him again, rose, and walked down the stairs to stand next to Simone.
Simone was called up next, and another box was pulled out.
Princess Simone is given Celestial Endorsement, the Emperor said. He pulled a jade tablet out of the box and presented it to her. She may call upon the Celestial any time.
Simone bowed and returned to stand next to me. The Jade Emperor returned to his throne.
Er Lang read from the scroll. Princess Simone is ordered to take Celestial Form.
Move back, Emma, Simone said softly. This is going to be big.
She was right. It was huge. Her robes didnt appear as fabric at all; they were holes in reality, with stars sparkling inside them. She wore the universe as clothing. Her immensely long black hair didnt make it to the floor; it floated in a Celestial breeze. Clouds of yin moved in and out of the strands of her hair, filling the air with sleet that hissed as it hit the floor around her. Her enormous black eyes shone in her expressionless forbidding face. She summoned Seven Stars and held the bare dark blade in front of her. The sword had seven indentations, each centring on a hole that went right through the blade.
A commotion erupted to our left among the Celestials. A young man in human form wearing blue and silver armour stormed out of the crowd onto the carpet and planted himself next to me facing the Jade Emperor. I recognised him: the Dragon Prince that Simone had mentioned. He was one of Qing Longs sons, about number five or six.
I demand the right to challenge for Princess Simones hand, the dragon said. As her father is not sentient and present, you are able to grant her hand.
The Jade Emperor rose to speak but Simone spoke first.
Her voice echoed, as icy as any her father used, sending a chill up my spine.
I will give you my hand, on three conditions.
Name them, Princess, the dragon said defiantly.
One, Simone said, You must defeat the Lady Emma in armed combat. Not to the death, as she is not Immortal.
Quick, Emma, she said into my head. Pull out the Murasame and do something really impressive.
I tossed the ruyi to the Tiger, who held it floating above the floor. I whipped the Murasame out of its scabbard Id perfected a technique that made the yin blade hiss as it came out. I held the blade in front of me, filled it with chi, and performed the first five moves of the highest-level Wudang sword kata as fast as I could. The chi made the sword trail a golden image as it sang through the air. I stopped and saluted the dragon with the sword, then pulled the chi out and lowered it. He watched, eyes wide, as condensation dripped from the end of the cold, dark blade.
Lady Emma is the finest human student the Dark Lord has ever seen, Simone said as if from a million miles away. She can take down any level of demon with the sword known as the Destroyer, which was a gift from the Demon King himself.
Before resheathing the sword I held it over the back of my wrist. Red, I willed, please be red, and then lightly ran the blade crosswise over my wrist. Red blood welled where the impossibly sharp blade touched me. I raised the blade a few centimetres above the wound and the blood spun up from my arm and disappeared into the dark metal. I returned the blade to its scabbard on my back, then concentrated and healed the wound.
Oh God, Emma, Im sorry, Simone said into my head. I completely forgot.
Tell her, not a problem, I said to the stone.
Yes, a problem! she retorted. What if it had been black?
I shrugged imperceptibly.
The dragon had watched me feed the blade with wide eyes. He pulled himself together and turned back to Simone, defiant again. What else, Princess?
Next you must defeat me in battle, Simone said, perfectly calm. She raised Seven Stars to the side. Again, not to the death, as I also am not Immortal.
And? the dragon said.
Then, after defeating Lady Emma, and defeating me, the suitor must embrace me. She summoned yin over her raised arms so that it floated around her pale hands and the blade of the sword. Embrace me, and my nature. Embrace my yin.
The dragon gasped and took a step back. Touch the yin?