I wondered. She gazed upon his face, the one she knew so well. The memory of him had stayed with her more than shed realized. I ached for them every night and day. They were my children.
Being separated from them was torture. It would have been easier to reach in and cut out my heart. I knew you felt the same way. Understanding shone in his eyes. Hed walked in those shoes, too.
Maybe dealing with Brian wont be so bad, she thought. Hed been hurt, too. God willing, maybe the hurting was over. I really think we can go on from here. We can be civil, right?
Right. For the childrens sake. He moved away as if theyd never been close, as if they were just two people sitting together, side by side in a big empty room. The clunk and clatter from the kitchen echoed loudly. We keep them safe, we work together to make sure the past doesnt harm them and once this is over, Ill be on my way.
Back to Fort Worth?
Thats where my life is. His home, his practice, his church, his friends. Ill be back for the weddings, of course. But dont worry, Belle, you wont have to deal with me for long.
Thats not what I was worrying about. For an instant, a hint of vulnerability softened her Cupids-bow mouth, and in the brush of sunlight tumbling through the wide windows, she looked bronzed, the highlights in her auburn hair gleaming like rare silk, and a flashback from the past roared through himthe image of Belle sitting in the rocking chair, one newborn cradled in each arm, serene and glowing with a new mothers love. Affection hed thought was long dead whispered in his heart, just ashes of what was, he rationalized. Thats all it could be. His love for her had died long ago, but his caring for her hadnt.
That caring was what motivated him now. He launched off his chair and held out his hand. Lets check you out of here and get you a real meal.
What does that mean? A homemade meal?
Sure, in some restaurant. Well find one.
Ill text my housekeeper, Lupita, and have the kids bring a meal from the ranch. A big picnic lunch for all of us. She eased off her chair, her left leg weak. At least she allowed him to help. We can eat it in the sunroom, although its strange to think its December. I still look outside and expect it to be hot, sunny July.
A lot of time passed while you were sleeping.
And a lot of things changed. Like the fact that our kids are suddenly all madly in love. I just wish I had been here to see them find their perfect soul mates. Her chin hiked up, full of grit. And did I mention Im going stir-crazy in here? What I need is to be outside beneath the big blue Texas sky, and Ill be fine.
I know you will be. Tenderness gathered behind his sternum, but surely it wasnt tenderness, it only felt that way. It had to be worry for what the kids had gone through, seeing her fall off her horse, expecting her to get up and praying for her to be fine but she wasnt. The rush to the hospital, the terror in the waiting room, the fear and anguish at her bedside praying for her to come back to them.
Thank You, Lord, he prayed automatically, as if caring about Belle was second nature. Once it had been. Now, she was the mother of their children, nothing more. It made him sad. He waited while she tapped away at the phone she drew from her pocket, her auburn hair tumbling forward to curtain her face. When she was done he tucked the chairs into place beneath the table and waited for her to amble into the aisle.
I know the girls were planning to keep me company for lunch anyway, Belle explained. I told her to bring the boys along. Well tell them over the meal.
I know that look. The furrow across her forehead. Youre worried about how they are going to take this.
Ive spent twenty-five years second-guessing my decision. She halted, her pearled teeth digging into her lush bottom lip. Vulnerability carved into her face, showing every bit of the gentle girl with the big heart hed fallen in love with once. Their safety wasnt the only reason I didnt tell them the truth. I was afraid they would hate me for separating us. For not letting you and the other half of the twins come with us.
That wasnt your fault, Belle. It cut him in two to think back upon that unhappy time. We both made that decision, remember? We agreed to stay apart. It was for the best.
Yes, but will they understand? For all her strength and bravado, Belles world had revolved around her children. Clearly that was as true as it had ever been.
Well do our best to make them understand.
Maybe now is a good time to tell you something else. The twins received Bibles from an anonymous person while I was in my coma. There were notes inside asking for forgiveness. There was no explanation and I cant help but wonder if it could be from him?
Ill find out. I promise you. He reached out to cover her hand, wanting to comfort her and reassure her, but hesitated. Maybe it wasnt a good idea.
As if she agreed, she gave his outstretched hand a worried look, straightened her shoulders and moved forward. I think I need to lie down for a while.
Fine. He stayed planted where he stood in the corridor, watching her progress along the tiled floor, hurrying away from him. Tall, lean, graceful, even with a limp. It wasnt longing he felthis affection for Belle was in the pastbut he couldnt put his finger on what emotion tugged at him. Perhaps he would always want to make things better for Belle, always want to make her happy.
Not that hed ever been able to do so. Shoulders braced, he headed for the nurses station. He had a few questions for Belles doctors.
* * *
...Lord bless us and keep us. Amen. Belle finished the blessing, trying to keep her voice from wobbling with nerves. Thankful for her faith that sustained her and for her family, united and happy, she opened her eyes and gave Violets hand one last squeeze before releasing it.
For a minute it was like seeing doubletwo identical sons and two identical daughters seated in wicker chairs around a patio table watching her every move. No doubt for signs of weakness. They worried over her health too much. She was a Texas girl, born and bred. She was tough, she was resilient and shed defeat the last effects of her head injury in no time. She hated that they were troubled. Worse, she hated the crinkle of concern carved into Brians handsome face. Movie-star handsome, she might add. Honest piercing brown eyes, exquisite cheekbones and the strongly angled jaw that maturity had only improved.
Now, why exactly was she noticing? Probably because it was better than the difficult story she was about to tell. Anxiety fluttered in her stomach, making the appetizing meal Lupita had packed for them look like a very bad idea indeed. Her midsection rolled, and her hunger tanked. The secret had lived inside her for so many years. Shed avoided this moment for more than one reason, for more reasons than shed admitted to Brian. What if telling the truth brought more pain?
Do you want me to start, Belle? Brian couldnt be kinder as he searched her face across the length of table. Behind him a Christmas garland slung across the doorway into the sunroom. Id like to.
You didnt mention that earlier. Her words were light and meant that way, but she couldnt help feeling annoyed. It was her story to tell, she was the one whod torn this family apart long ago. Hadnt that been how shed spent the past hour in her room, practicing what she would say and how she would say it? Fearing all the while the twins wouldnt understand. That they would resent her for disrupting their childhoods and separating them for over two decades. Each twin had grown up alone because of her.
If you want to go first, then go. Brian nodded absently, and Carter slipped a pulled pork sandwich onto his plate. Brians entire focus zeroed in on her. Let me take the blame.
But you arent at fault. His steadfast tone almost made her believe it.
You werent the one who saw She stopped herself, seeing it happen all over again.
Mom, whats going on? Jack leaned forward in his chair. What did you see?
Yeah...whats this all about? Grayson asked.
Mom, you look upset. Violet took her hand again and squeezed.
The doctor said you arent supposed to be stressed. Maddie frowned, taking her other hand. Dad, whats got her so worked up?
Belle shook her head. See how the man made her crazy? Hed always stirred her up, messed with her normally logical mind and turned everything on end. It wasnt that they were arguing, exactly. She laughed at herself. Some things never changed. Fine, Brian, you go first.
Across the table, the man arched one brow as if to ask if she was sure. She nodded, nerves prickling. This looked important to him. She wanted to be the one to tell the truth, the truth her children had been asking about for a long time. Brian hadnt been there, he hadnt been involved, but she wanted peace between them. Leave the arguments and the fighting in the past where it belonged. As if he could see all that in her eyes, he drew in a breath, straightened his spine and looked around the table at each child, now an adult, the sadness in his gaze strong enough to dilute the shining sun.
Twenty-five years ago your mother and I divorced. Wed married young while we were still in high school, and this may come as a shock to you but we had to get married. That was my fault, and mine alone. This was before both Belle and I were Christians.
Brians sincerity rumbled in deep, low notes. I wont lie to you, it was tough being married that young. We had school to finish, and then your mother chose to drop out when the boys were born. That wasnt an easy sacrifice. I almost did, too, because juggling full-time work was too much, but your mother encouraged me to hang in there.
You had dreams, Brian. It hurt to remember the young man hed been, the integrity that had always been a part of him. Insisting he had to marry her, struggling as hard as he knew how to be a good husband to her and a proud father. Why did it hurt to remember the good as much as it did the bad? Youd always wanted to be a doctor since you were a little boy.
Yes, but I didnt want it to cost me my other dreams. He swallowed hard, telling her something shed never guessed. Maybe being a father and a husband had been dreams of his, too.
And not something hed been forced into. Tears burned behind her eyes and she blinked hard, refusing to let them fall, refusing to let him see.
But it was too much. We couldnt make our marriage work. Im sorry. Brians baritone dipped. Your mother and I tried as hard as we knew how. We both gave it everything we had. Everything.
We did. The wrenching fights, the tears after, the knowledge that they were failing at the single most important job in their livesas married parents of their beloved double set of twins. Stubborn tears filled her eyes, but she held Brians gaze through the blur of them. No way could she let him take the sole blame for this. I was the one who asked you to leave, Brian. I was the one who quit on you. I just couldnt take you so unhappy, and then it happened.
I know. Although he was at the other end of the table, his compassion bridged the distance between them. I thought the same thing. I always figured wed find our way back to each other and then
The Witness Protection Program. The words tumbled off her tongue. If I hadnt left the doctors office at that exact moment, then we never would have left.
Its not your fault, Belle. Its the way things happened, thats all. Brian sounded as if he had no doubt. I never blamed you for that. I admired you for having the strength and the guts to testify.
You d-did? She hated how her voice wobbled, betraying her. Lord help her, because Brians opinion of her still mattered. She hadnt realized how much.
Uh, Mom, Jack spoke, surprising her. She blinked, realizing shed forgotten she and Brian were not alone, that they were being watched like leads in a Broadway play, their audience enthralled. Did you say the Witness Protection Program?
Yes. The words felt torn out of her. Thats why we left your father, Maddie and Grayson behind. The three of us were taken into protective custody. We were never meant to meet again.
Chapter Four
You mean we were in witness protection all this time?
But why?
How did that happen?
Why didnt you tell us?
The questions erupted all at once, echoing around the sunroom and bouncing off the glass ceiling, but the regal and lovely woman across the table held his attention like no other. Belle sat tall and strong, folded her slim hands and let the questions roll over her. Gratitude shone quietly in the dark depths of her unguarded eyes. For an instant he saw both the woman hed lovedthe young Isabella full of life and spiritand this newer Belle, seasoned and confident. Both intrigued him. Both touched him.
We were sworn not to tell. He spoke above the chaos of questions from their children, his gaze never wavering from Belles.
The twins fell silent, although the room echoed with their frustrations and curiosity.
It was the only way, he assured them. Your mother witnessed a murder. She had Violet in her arms and Jack in a stroller. They were all in terrible danger. The thought of anything happening to you two
He stopped before his voice could break and betray him, his walls went up and he shut down the emotion before it surfaced. Just like he always did, he realized. Force of habit and one habit he had to break.
He gritted his teeth, took down his defenses and felt the terror of that long-ago time. All I could think about was that man or his fellow drug dealers coming to gun you down, little Laurel and Tanner and my Isabella.
Dad, that had to have been horrible to go through. Grayson patted him on the shoulder, the beloved son hed had the privilege to raise. Not knowing if they would ever be safe.
Thats why I testified. Belle appeared a little shell-shocked, perhaps shed realized what hed tried to tell her. Although they were divorced, at that time, hed still thought of her as his Isabella. Witness protection meant safety.
But what happened exactly? Violet wanted to know.
You and Jack had awful earachesId been up all night walking the floor with both of you, Belle answered. Our pediatrician squeezed you into her schedule, and I was on my way to the car when I heard the shot. I turned toward the sound and there he was standing in the alley with a dead man at his feet.
You had to be terrified, Mom. Maddie took her hand.
Petrified. Literally, since I couldnt move. For an instant, I couldnt believe what I saw. I just stared at the man, the murderer. It was like something out of someone elses life. Belles gentle face twisted with agony. Then he pointed the gun at me.
He tried to shoot you? Jack bit out.