She understood. That was the challenge that made her a paramedic, the challenge of caring for the sick and injured at the moment of crisis.
The emergency is over when you walk on the scene. That was what one of her instructors had drummed into them. No matter how bad it is, you have to make them believe that.
You did good work there, she said softly, knowing it had to be true.
A drop in the bucket, Im afraid. Theres so much need. He glanced at her, his eyebrows lifting. Hardly the sort of job where youd expect to find me, is it?
I didnt say that.
You were thinking it.
Yes, well They were getting dangerously close to the subject hed already said he wouldnt talk about. Everyone said you were headed straight toward a partnership with your father in neurosurgery.
Everyone was wrong. Tense lines bracketed his mouth. I found the challenges in Africa far more interesting.
There was more to it than that. There had to be, but he wouldnt tell her. How much of his change in direction had been caused by Merediths death?
It had changed Terrys life. Shed given up her bid for independence and come running home to the safety of her family. Had he run, too?
Jake closed the doors and watched while she locked them, then reached out and double-checked.
She bit back a sigh. He couldnt even trust her to do something as simple as locking a door. How on earth were they going to run this clinic together?
Chapter Three
Not a bad day, was it? Terry glanced at her mother as they cleaned up after the clinics opening day.
She probably should get over that need for Moms approval. Most of her friends either called their mother by her first name and treated her like a girlfriend or else feigned complete contempt for anything a parent might think. Shed never been able to buy into either of those attitudes, maybe because Siobhan Flanagan never seemed to change.
Her mother turned from the cabinet where she was stacking clean linens. No one would recognize this place from the way it looked a few short days ago. You can be proud of what youve accomplished.
Terry stared down at the meds shed just finished counting and locked the drug box. She should be proud. ButThree clients wasnt much for our first day, was it?
It will grow. Her mothers voice warmed. Dont worry. People just have to learn to trust whats happening here. And they will.
I hope so. It was one thing to charge into battle to help people and quite another to fear they didnt want your help at all. Maybe Ive leaped before I looked again. Her brothers had teased her mercilessly about that when she was growing up, especially when shed tried to rope them into one of her campaigns to help a strayanimal or human.
Dont you think that at all, Theresa Anne Flanagan. Youve got a warm heart, and if that sometimes leads you into trouble, its far better than armoring yourself like alike an armadillo.
Terry grinned. Do you have any particular armadillo in mind?
Siobhan gave a rueful chuckle. That was a mite unchristian, I guess. Im trying to make up for it, though. Ive invited Dr. Landsdowne to your brothers for the picnic on Sunday.
Youve what? She could only hope her face didnt express the horror she felt. The Flanagan clan gathered for dinner most Sunday afternoons, and it wasnt unusual for someone to invite a friend. But Jake wasnt a friendhe was her boss, in a way, and also an antagonist. She wouldnt go so far as to think of him as an enemy, and she certainly didnt want to think of those moments when shed felt, or imagined shed felt, something completely inappropriate.
Whats wrong? Her mother crossed to Terry, her face concerned. I know you think hes a bit officious about the clinic, but if we get to know him better
I already know him. From Philadelphia. Her throat tightened, and she had to force the words out. Hes the one I told you about. The one who blamed my team for the death of the woman hed been seeing.
The words brought that time surging back, carrying a load of guilt, anxiety and the overwhelming fear that perhaps hed been right. Perhaps she had been responsible.
Oh, Terry, I didnt realize. Her mother gave her a quick, fierce hug. Im sorry.
She shook her head. Its all right. I didnt tell anyone becausewell, it didnt seem fair to me or to him.
Mom sat next to her on the desk. Has he talked to you about it, since hes been here?
Only to say he thinks we should leave the past alone.
But the inquiry cleared you of any wrongdoing. He should apologize, at least.
Terrys lips quirked at the thought of Jake apologizing. He probably doesnt see it that way. Anyway, if anyones guilty She stopped, regretting the words already.
Her mother just looked at her. Better people than she had crumbled at the force of that look.
Wed been called to the womans apartment before. Two or three times. Always the same thingshed taken an overdose of sleeping pills or tranquilizers. We figured out finally that she was being careful. Never taking enough to harm herself. Just enough to make people around her feel guilty.
And Dr. Landsdowne was the person she wanted to feel guilty?
She nodded, remembering the gossip that had flown around the hospital. Theyd been dating, but I guess when he wanted to break it off, she didnt take it very well. A brief image of Meredith flashed through her mindtall, blond, elegant, the epitome of the Main Line socialite. I dont suppose anyone had ever turned her down before.
Poor creature. Her mothers voice was warm with quick sympathy. And him, too. What a terrible thing, to feel responsible for someone committing suicide. But what happened? You said she was careful.
She took something she was allergic to. Terrys throat tightened with the memory. We couldnt save her.
Her mother stroked Terrys hair the way she had when Terry had been a child, crying over a scraped knee. Thats probably why he blamed you. He couldnt face it.
Or because he did believe she was inept and incompetent. I dont know, Mom. She pushed her hair back, suddenly tired. I just know Ive got to figure out how to deal with him now.
Do you want me to cancel the invitation? It was a testament to her mothers concern that shed be willing to violate her sense of hospitality.
No. She managed a smile. Ive got to get used to his presence. At least Ill be on my own turf there.
Her mother laughed. And surrounded by Flanagans, all prepared to defend you.
I dont need defending. The quick response was automatic. Her brothers had been trying to shelter her all her life. Theyd never accept that she didnt need their protection.
I know. Her mother gave her another hug and slid off the desk. They mean well, sweetheart.
The sound of a horn turned Siobhan toward the door. Theres Mary Kate, coming for me. Are you heading for home now?
I just want to make one last check, okay? And take a few minutes to clear her head. Ill be right behind you.
Walk out with me to say hi to your sister. Her mother linked her arm with Terrys.
Walk out with me to say hi to your sister. Her mother linked her arm with Terrys.
Together they walked to where Mary Kate sat waiting. The back of her SUV was filled with grocery bags.
Hi, Terry. Come on, Mom. Ive got to get home before the frozen stuff melts.
Im ready. Siobhan slid into the car, while Terry leaned against the drivers side, scanning her big sisters face for signs of strain.
It had been ten months since Mary Kate lost her husband to a fast-moving cancerten months during which she kept up a brave face to the world, even to her own family.
Howre you doing? How are the kids?
Fine. Mary Kates smile was a little too bright. Theyre looking forward to seeing you on Sunday.
Me, too. She wanted to say somethingsomething meaningful, something that would help. But, as always, words faltered against Mary Kates brittle facade. Shed never relax it, certainly not in front of her baby sister.
Terry stepped back, waving as the car disappeared in a cloud of dust down the lane. Then she walked back into the clinic, mind circling the question she knew her mother had wanted to ask. Why hadnt she told them the whole story about what happened in Philadelphia?
Because I was trying to prove I could accomplish something independent of my family. Because I failed.
Pointless, going over it and over it. She pushed herself into action, cleaning up the last few items that were out of place, locking the drug box, putting Jakes list of rules in the desk drawer. The cases that had come in today were so minor she hadnt even been tempted to bend any of the rules. Not that she would.
The door banged open. Manuela raced in. Terrys heart clutched at the look on her face.
Manuela, what is it?
The girl leaned against the desk, breathing hard. Juan. Hes sick. Hes so hot. Please, you have to come. She grabbed Terrys arm in a desperate grasp. Now. You have to come!
Jakes rule flashed through her mind. Staff will not go to the migrant housing facility alone.
I have to, she said aloud. I have to. She grabbed her emergency kit and ran.
Manuela fled across the rutted field toward the back of the string of cement block buildings that served as dormitories for the workers. Terry struggled to keep up, mind churning. Juans cut could have become infected. That seemed the most likely cause for a fever, but there were endless possibilities. If she had to take him to the hospital, shed also have to explain how shed come to break Jakes rules in her first day of operation.
The sun had already slid behind the ridge that overshadowed the camp. It would be nearly dark by the time she finished. She should have thought to bring a flashlight. She should have thought of a number of things, but it was too late now.
Please, Lord. Guide me and show me what must be done.
A snatch of guitar music, a burst of laughter, the blare of a radio sounded from the far end of the camp. Words that she couldnt understand, cooking aromas that she couldnt identifyit was like being transported to a different country.
Manuela stopped to peer around the corner of the building, her finger to her lips to ensure Terrys silence. She didnt need to worry. Terry had no desire to draw attention to her presence.
But why was the girl so concerned with secrecy? If shed fetched Terry without her parents permission, that could be yet another complication to the rule she was already transgressing.
Manuela beckoned, and together they slipped around the corner and through the door. The room was a combination kitchen and living room, with a card table, a few straight chairs and a set of shelves against the wall holding plastic dishes and dented metal pots. An elderly woman, stirring something on a battered camp stove in the corner, stared at them incuriously and went back to her cooking.
Terry followed Manuela through a curtained door. At a guess, the whole family slept here on a motley collection of beds and cots jammed together. Juan lay on one of the cots, and to her relief, his mother sat next to him. Manuela grabbed an armful of clothes from the floor.
Sorry. In the dim light, it seemed her cheeks were flushed. Mama and I try to keep it neat, but its hard.
I understand. Six people were living in a room the size of the laundry room at the Flanagan house. No wonder it seemed cluttered. Lets have a look at Juan.
Nodding to the mother, she bent over the cot. Hi, there, Juan. Remember me? She smiled reassuringly, trying to hide her dismay. His skin was hot and dry, his eyes sunken in his small face. She glanced at Manuela. Any chance we can get more light in here?
Nodding, she switched on a battery-powered lantern.
No electricity, overcrowded conditions, inadequate cooking facilitiessurely someone like Matthew Dixon could do better than this for his employees, even if they were here for only a short period of time.
She checked the boys vital signs and cautiously removed the bandage on his head, relieved to find no sign of infection. It doesnt look as if his injury is causing this, Manuela. Has anyone else been sick?
Manuela translated quickly for her mother and then nodded. Some of the other children have had fever and stomach upsets.
Why didnt their parents bring them to the clinic?
Manuela shrugged, face impassive. If she knew the answer, she wasnt going to tell.
Tell your mother Id like to have Juan checked out by the doctor. She glanced at her watch. Since its so late, maybe the best thing is to take him to the E.R.
The mother seemed to understand that phrase. Nodding, she scooped Juan up, wrapping him in a frayed cotton blanket.
Terry followed them out, hoping she was making the right choice. Harriet would come to the camp if she called her, but by the time shed tracked her down, they could be at the E.R. Jake wasnt on duty tonight, so
That train of thought sputtered out. Why exactly did she have his schedule down pat in her mind?
Mrs. Ortiz hurried outside. She stopped so suddenly that Terry nearly bumped into her. Mel Jordan, the crew chief, stood a few feet away, glaring at them.
Where do you think youre going? He planted beefy hands on his hips.
Terry stepped around the woman. Juan is running a fever. Were taking him in to have the doctor look at him.
You people arent supposed to be here. He jerked his head toward the building. Take the kid back inside. You dont want to go running around this time of night.
Mrs. Ortiz started to turn, but Terry caught her arm. Manuela moved to her mothers other side, so that the three of them faced the man.
My car is at the clinic. She tried to keep her voice pleasant, suppressing the urge to rage at the man. Ill run them to the hospital and bring them back. Its not necessary for you to come.
His face darkened. I told you youre not supposed to be here, interfering in what doesnt concern you. He took a step toward her, the movement threatening. Just get out and take your do-good notions with you. We dont need outsiders around here stirring up trouble.
Her heart thudded, but she wouldnt let him see fear. Youve got trouble already. The child is sick. You cant keep him from medical care. Or any of the other children.
It was obvious why none of the parents had brought their children to the clinic. Mrs. Ortiz trembled. Surely she didnt think the man would dare become violent.