The sooner I get out of that house, the better. She found herself reciting the mantra several times a day. She just wished she could convince herself it was true.
WHEN Rachel returned from Winnies, David was hunched over his laptop in the front living room, no doubt working on files for the store. The Waides had owned a supply store in Mistletoe for generations, but it had really grown under David and Zachariahs partnership. In the spring, Zachariah Waide had gone into partial retirement, handing over the bulk of daily management to his oldest child. David had thrown himself into the job with gusto, seeming happier when he was at the store than he did when he was with her.
Careful not to disturb his work now, Rachel tiptoed past, stealing one undisciplined peek at his chiseled profile, bathed in blue from the monitors glow in the darkened room. How many pictures had she taken of that face, trying to capture perfectly on film the strength and character there? It was so unfair. While shed been mourning the loss of her chic but no longer necessary professional wardrobe and grappling with some unattractive side effects of the medicine, David merely got sexier with each passing day. Hed doubled his jogging regimen, and now that Tanner was back, David was shooting hoops regularly in addition to the community softball hed always played. He was in the best shape of his adult life, which made her feel even worse that her own body had turned against her.
She didnt realize she was holding her breath until she got to the guest room at the end of the house and finally exhaled. It was such a pretty room really, the muted pastels in the drapes and matching queen-size comforter off-setting the dark wood of the sleigh bed. A person should feel cheerful here. A person should not obsess over how this room would have made a lovely nursery.
After the miscarriage, Rachel had fallen into the habit of coming here when she couldnt sleep, just to sit and think, then shed awake on the bed in the morning. David never said a word about it, so when difficulties between them had reached their zenith, it had been almost a natural transition to adopt this room as her own. She hadnt actually started moving clothes into the closet and her alarm clock onto the nightstand until after Thanksgiving, when shed told him she couldnt do this anymore.
She would miss a lot of things when it came time to leave Mistletoefriends, the Waides, the chicken-fried steak down at Dixieland Dinerbut she would not miss this room. Grabbing the cordless phone, she sat on the mattress. She should return Kates call before it got too late.
Her younger sister, who lived with her husband and eleven-month-old daughter just a few miles from Rachels parents, picked up on the first ring. Hello?
Hey, its Rachel. David said you called?
Oh, hi! Kates greeting was so effusive that it bordered on a squeal. Odd. The last few times theyd spoken, her sister had been subtly petulant that Rachel wasnt coming to South Carolina for Christmas. After all, it would be little Alyssas first, never mind that Rachel had committed to being in a wedding and was planning to visit home for New Years. Rachel had even contemplated getting out of Mistletoe for Thanksgiving, but Kate had gone to her in-laws place in Virginia so that they could coo over the grand-baby.
You sound like youre in a good mood, Rachel observed.
The best! Im so glad you called back. Im having lunch with Mom tomorrow, so Ill talk to her then, but she heard first the last time. I thought it should be your turn.
Rachel couldnt help smiling, Kates fast-paced prattle reminding her of when they were younger and her sister would burst through the kitchen door with sixty-miles-an-hour news of her day. My turn for what?
Okay, you are officially the very first person in the family to hear this. Kate giggled. Well, except for Mike, obviously. He bought the test for me.
Test? Rachels stomach dropped. Realization hit. I am the worst sister in the world. She didnt want to hear this news; she wanted to slam down the phone and curl into the fetal position. Pun not intended.
Were expecting again! Alyssa is going to be a big sister. Its a little sooner than we anticipatedI mean, we just started trying and you never know how long it will Kate trailed off in abashed silence.
Congratulations, Rachel said. Thats wonderful.
I am so sorry. Kate sounded horrified. That was a really insensitive way to put that. I was just so excited
As you should be! And you were right, a woman never does know how long it will take. Or if it will happen, ever. Dont worry. Id be a lousy person if I werent thrilled for you.
Youre sure?
Hell. Once again, tears threatened to well in Rachels eyeswhat was that, the sixth time today?but she was determined not to let Fertile Myrtle know. She coughed, trying to keep her voice even. Absolutely! I owe you a huge congratulatory hug when I see you in January.
Yeah, youll want to do it then before I get too big to wrap your arms around, Kate joked.
They talked for a few more minutes, but it was clear that neither one of them was entirely comfortable.
Oh, dear, Kate said, interrupting as Rachel answered a question about Lilahs wedding plans. Thats Alyssa crying. Id better go. See you in a few weeks!
Right. See you then. Rachel disconnected, flopped back on the mattress and glared at the ceiling.
Well, at least now when she announced to her parentswho were already baffled as to why she was wasting her college degree in a dinky North Georgia townthat her marriage had crashed and burned, the Nietermyers would have Kates pregnancy as a happy distraction.
Yeah, that made Rachel feel much better.
Chapter Three
Mental note. Rachel squeezed herself behind a kitchen chair for safety. Never, never ask a bunch of animals Who wants to go for a walk?
Unless, of course, she wanted to be trampled to death. The two labs were scrambling to reach her, and Hildie was probably waking up the neighborhood, running circles on the tile and barking her head off. Although the dogs enjoyed playing in their own fenced backyard, Winnie had mentioned that walks were a special treat. Bristol and Rembrandt shared a double-dog leash, and in theory, Rachel should be able to walk Hildie with her own leash held in the other hand.
Faced with the challenge of harnessing all this uncoordinated enthusiasm, however, Rachel was suddenly dubious. If she had any common sense, shed probably be snuggled under the covers; she wasnt due for work at the print shop for another two and a half hours.
But she hadnt been asleep anyway. Shed been up three times during the night, probably because the unfamiliar noises of pets in the house kept waking her. Shortly before 6:00 a.m., it had become clear that no matter how exhausted she was, she was awake for the duration.
Awake and cowering behind furniture.
She cleared her throat, hoping to project authority. Sit. I mean it, you guys. Sit!
The labs collective butts hit the floor, their tails sweeping in noisy arcs. Hildie continued to run in demented circles, woofing happily. Two out of three is close enough. Rachel edged from behind the chair, maintaining stern eye contact while she picked up the leashes. She shrugged into a flannel-lined, double-breasted coat. It was bulky, especially over her blue sweat suit, but it was indisputably soft, as if she were walking around in a much-needed hug.
The labs collective butts hit the floor, their tails sweeping in noisy arcs. Hildie continued to run in demented circles, woofing happily. Two out of three is close enough. Rachel edged from behind the chair, maintaining stern eye contact while she picked up the leashes. She shrugged into a flannel-lined, double-breasted coat. It was bulky, especially over her blue sweat suit, but it was indisputably soft, as if she were walking around in a much-needed hug.
Though shed never been a morning person, there was something surprisingly invigorating about stepping outside into the chilly air, watching the sun rise in golden-orange streaks that gilded the clouds. That would make a pretty picture. Even if she hadnt busted her camera last month, she didnt exactly have a free hand right now. And the dogs definitely lacked the patience for her to stop and take in picturesque scenesthey were already straining against their leashes.
They set off at a brisk pace, Rachels breath puffing out in foggy bursts. If she was lucky, she might even lose a pound or two before the wedding and her trip home. Should she return to South Carolina at her current weight, her moma slim woman with a closet full of Power Suitswould cluck her tongue disapprovingly. Mrs. Nietermyer had mastered the many fine nuances of Clucking 101. Mr. Nietermyer habitually called his wife honey, but Rachel swore that, once or twice, what hed really said was henny.
Lost in her thoughts and the steady rhythm of the dogs toes clicking on the pavement, she was startled when Hildie shot after a trio of sparrows.
Whoa! Rachel gripped the leash tightly. Sit. Sit.
No one listened. Instead, Hildies sudden dash whipped the other two dogs into a fervor. They quickly tangled their lines, threatening to ensnare Rachel. She managed to sidestep Bristol, but tripped over Rembrandt. Falling toward the sidewalk, Rachel reflexively braced herself with one hand. Which was, she acknowledged as pain radiated up her arm, stupid. She was lucky she hadnt broken her wrist. Of more immediate concern, however, was that, in thrusting her hand out, shed let go of Hildies leash. The little terror went flopping toward the spot where the birds had been.
Dammit. Cold seeped through the layers of cotton covering her butt.
Rachel got to her feet and approached the puppy slowly, not wanting to chase her into the intersection. Though it was still early, some people would be leaving for work soon and the dog wouldnt be easily visible in the early-morning light. Scanning the area for any threats or surprises, Rachel sidled toward the mutt. When movement caught her eye, she turned and saw someone cresting the hill on the parallel sidewalk. A jogger, whose gait and clothes she recognized even at a distance.
Shed always thought that particular blue T-shirt brought out the color in her husbands eyes. Her heart thumped against her ribs. She turned to Hildie. If you will come to me right now, I swear you can have as many puppy treats as you want when we get home.
Hildie yipped once, scooting farther away and wagging her tail in appreciation of the new game.
Dog, I am not playing with you. Get over here. Now the footsteps across the street were audible. Slap, slap. Slap, slap. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe she wasnt actually outside at dawn with three dogs whod alternately tried to escape and hog-tie her. Maybe she was simply having a nightmare. Her dreams, when she slept long enough to have them, had been bizarrely vivid of late.
Rach? Opposite her, David slowed to a stop. The inquisitive note in his voice probably stemmed from wondering why the heck she was out stalking an ill-behaved puppy instead of comfortably drinking coffee in Winnies kitchen while the dogs cavorted in their own backyard. Rachel was wondering the same thing herself.
I didnt expect to see you here, she said. Shed been so relieved to be out of the oppressive atmosphere in their house that she hadnt considered she would be walking dogs in the same neighborhood where he routinely ran. Somewhat unnecessarily, she added, Hildie got away from me.
Hearing her name, the adolescent mongrel yipped again, sounding proud of herself. Rachel entertained a couple of fantasies that would probably not be appreciated by animal activists. David rocked back on his heels, his fledgling smile achingly familiar yet a little surprising, too. There was real amusement there and less of the strain shed become accustomed to seeing.
Need a little help? he called.
Thanks, but Ive got it. You probably just got your pulse rate in the right zone or whatever. Dont let us derail you. Wrapping the remaining leash tightly around her hand, she crouched down and whistled at Hildie. Here, girl! Cmere, baby.
Hildie took about two steps in Rachels direction, then turned and dashed across another yard, into the Stephensons driveway.
There was a muffled laugh from Davids direction, and Rachel snapped her head toward him, heat blooming in her cheeks.
As David crossed the street, her pride warred with practicality. The charm of the early-morning walk had faded, and Rachel was looking forward to getting out of the cold and spending a few dog-free moments in a hot shower. He stepped up on the curb, extending a hand so carefully that she might have laughed if she werent so miserable. Something about Davids manner mirrored the way she was advancing on the skittish dog.
Up close, Rachel couldnt help noticing the slight crinkle of laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. He had a great face. Masculine and friendly and reassuring and sexy all at the same time. Sometimes she just
Here, let me at least hold the other two while you round up the little one.
She nodded, untangling the leash from her hand and passing it to him. Davids fingers closed over hers. Zing. In the early rays of the morning, with two labs watching her as if she was a moron and an undisciplined puppy leading her on a merry chase, Rachel Waide experienced the most surprising jolt. Davids fingers were warm but the tiniest bit roughno girly moisturizing lotion for him, thank you very muchand the scent of him was musky and male. Her pheromones reacted with an interest they hadnt shown in months, causing an actual twinge between her thighs.
Her jaw dropped.
You all right? David narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing her.
Oh, please, please, dont let him be able tell. Did he know her well enough to guess that she was unbelievably, unmistakably aroused? She was mortified. Was she one of those emotionally stunted people who only wanted someone they couldnt have? Why was she having this inconvenient reaction now?
Maybe it was a Pavlovian response. After all, he was the only man shed been with in years, and her body hadnt yet adjusted to the idea of never touching him again. Never kissing him, never waking in his arms, never
Hildie barked, mercifully interrupting the mental tangent. Circling the dog, Rachel spoke in a nonstop, cajoling murmur, forcing herself to stand patiently as Hildie got closer. Inch by irritating inch. Rachel waited until she knew with absolute certainty that victory was in her reach before she pounced, catching the wiggling puppy in her hands. Hildies brown eyes were wide as she licked Rachels cheek.
Dont bother with the cute, Rachel warned. You are in big trouble, young lady.