TJ knew he deserved that. Not the cheerleading squad. They were the nerds, the brains. It was supposed to be a kiss, only a dance and a kiss. That was it. But Sage...
He remembered the overpowering rush of adolescent hormones. He couldnt say what it was about her. She had been thin and freckled, with this wild red hair. But when hed kissed her, shed kissed him back, and theyd both been left breathless. His car had been far too close to the side door of the gym, and theyd ended up in the back seat.
We can fill in the rest, Caleb said.
I tracked her down the next day to apologize. But shed already heard about the prank. She was enraged, punched me square in the chest. TJs hand went reflexively to the spot where her small fist had connected. She told me she never wanted to speak to me again.
You cant blame her, Matt said.
It was stupid and cruel, I know. But I only planned to kiss her. The rest of it was on both of us. It was more than just consensual. And shes kept my son from me for nine years. The two things dont even compare.
Two
A week later, mere hours after the transplant procedure, Sage expected to find TJ lounging in his hospital bed. But he was up and halfway dressed, reaching his arms into a crisp white dress shirt.
Should you be out of bed? she asked, stepping past the curtain.
The nurse took the IV out a few minutes ago.
But you just had surgery.
Im aware of that. He adjusted his collar and shifted the lapels across what shed noted was a magnificently muscular chest.
You must be sore. She couldnt believe hed bounce back this fast.
Only my hip. Dr. Stannis says itll disappear in a few days. Hanging around here isnt going to help any.
Can you drive? Sage asked.
She didnt know where he was staying, but she wanted to be sure he got safely back to his hotel. It was the least she could dothe very least she could do for the man who may have saved her sons life.
They didnt serve liquor in the operating room.
You know what I mean. You must be woozy.
Its not too bad. He finished doing up his buttons. Im not crazy about anesthetic. I like my brain cells too much.
Im sorry you had to go through that. She struggled to keep her emotions at bay. Thank you, TJ.
He sent her a sharp gaze, trapping hers for a long second. You dont have to thank me. Hes my son. You dont ever have to thank me for helping my son.
It would be a struggle for her to get used to that. Shed had Eli to herself for such a long time, she couldnt imagine letting anyone else into their circle.
I need you to understand that, Sage.
Youre going to have to give me some time.
Ive already wasted nine years. TJ took a pewter-gray blazer from a hanger on the wall and put it on over his designer outfit.
She was terrified to ask him what he had in mind. She didnt want to have that conversation. Theyre watching Eli for signs of rejection, she said instead.
Anything yet? TJ asked.
Its too soon to tell. Are you staying in Seattle overnight?
Again, he pasted her with the sharp look. Im staying here as long as it takes.
Takes to what?
He turned his back to her, punching a code into a small safe on the wall and retrieving his wallet and keys. Then he faced her and deposited the wallet into his inside jacket pocket. He kept the keys in his hand.
Ive been thinking, he said.
She worriedly searched his expression for a clue. About...
Id like to move Eli to Highside Hospital.
The words blindsided her. What? Where?
Its near Whiskey Bay. Its state-of-the-art
No.
Hear me out.
Protective instincts rose inside her, along with a healthy dose of fear. Youre not taking Eli out of Seattle.
Its the best place for him. Ive donated to Highside for years, and they have the best doctors, the best technology, hed be
St. Beas is a fantastic hospital.
Its a public hospital.
Her tone went up in defense. So what?
So, theyre busy, overworked, stretched for resources.
Theyve given Eli everything he needs. They diagnosed him. They found you. She stopped, realizing TJs unique role in Elis recovery might not be her strongest argument.
I was in the registry. Any hospital would have found me.
I dont want him moved. She needed to be close to her son while he recovered.
Whiskey Bay was three hours away. Shed missed so much time at work these past weeks, she couldnt take much more off. Shed planned to work as many hours as she could while Eli was recovering.
Itll free up a bed for someone who desperately needs it, TJ said.
What part of no dont you understand?
What part of father dont you understand?
He cant be moved yet. She realized her best argument was the medical one.
Im not talking about today, or even tomorrow. But as soon as hes strong enough, we can hire a medical helicopter. Itll take thirty minutes, tops.
Just like that? She resisted an urge to snap her fingers.
Just like what?
Youll hire a helicopter.
Its fast. Itll be comfortable. The onboard medics are equipped for anything.
Itll cost a fortune.
His expression was a study in incomprehension. Its my sons health were talking about.
She was back in high school again. Youre still the big man, arent you?
His nostrils flared, but he didnt answer.
The star athlete, the guy who got anything he wanted, grants, scholarships, the best parties, all the girls.
TJ opened his mouth, but she didnt let him interrupt.
The wide receiver with the magic hands, who was going all-state, who could write his own ticket.
Im not going to apologize for getting a college degree.
Sage felt like a knife had been shoved into her heart. Shed given up countless scholarship offers to raise Eli.
I earned my money, TJ continued. Im spending it on my son.
She stepped forward. Your son doesnt need it.
You want to fight me on this?
Sage was about to say yes, when the curtain was whisked open.
Dr. Stannis appeared. She looked TJ up and down and smiled. Nice bounce-back.
Ive been through worse, he said. Hows Eli?
Hes still in recovery. Were going to keep him there for a few more hours. Do you feel ready for discharge?
Absolutely. When can we see him?
Later tonight. Dr. Stannis glanced at her watch. Nine-ish? But hell still be pretty groggy until morning.
Well come back at nine.
Sage was about to protest that she wasnt leaving.
Make sure you get plenty of fluids, Dr. Stannis said to TJ.
Is there a good restaurant nearby?
It took Sage a second to realize the question was for her. Im, uh, not sure.
He looked puzzled.
She wasnt about to explain to Mr. Moneybags Helicopter Charter that she normally brought snacks from home to save money over eating in the hospital cafeteria. Forget restaurants. They werent even on her radar.
The Red Grill is just down the road, Dr. Stannis said. It gets good reviews from families of our patients.
Done, TJ said. He motioned for Sage to go first.
She didnt understand.
Im buying, he told her. We have to eat.
Fluids, Dr. Stannis said. For both of you. She gave Sage a pointed look.
Theyd had a few conversations about the fact that Sage had lost some weight these past weeks.
Does Cabernet Sauvignon count? TJ asked with a teasing smile.
Only in moderation. Dr. Stannis waved her pen. Waters better. Tea would be perfect.
Yes, maam.
And make sure Sage eats.
TJ looked down at Sage with a curious expression. Anything in particular?
Calories.
Lasagna it is, he said.
I dont like lasagna. Sage did like lasagna, but she was still thrown off balance by TJs determination to move Eli to a different hospital. And she resented the way he was organizing her dinner.
Then order something else, he said easily. Theyll have a menu.
Im aware of how restaurants work.
Good. Then you wont mind taking advantage of one. You are a little thin.
Im not thin. She was conveniently ignoring the fact that her favorite jeans were sagging at her waist.
I didnt mean it as an insult.
Your opinion means nothing to me.
Dr. Stannis broke in. And I will see you two later.
Thank you, Doctor. TJ gave her hand a warm shake with both of his.
Sage wished she could hug the doctor, but she settled for shaking as well. Thank you so much.
Youre most welcome. Dr. Stanniss sincerity was unquestionable. Go take care of yourself for a couple of hours. Eli is in excellent hands.
I know, Sage said.
She had complete confidence in the staff at St. Beas. There wasnt a reason in the world for TJ to move Eli anywhere else.
* * *
The Red Grill turned out to have a Southwest flair, with bright colors and lively music in the dining room. The hostess seated them on the patio, which was quieter. She quickly brought them glasses of iced tea and tortilla chips with guacamole.
The pain in TJs hip was getting worse, but he didnt want to muddle his thinking with any more painkillers. He pushed the tortilla chips toward Sage, but she shook her head.
Doctors orders, he said.
She gave him a glare but took a chip and bit down on it.
TJ had so many things to ask her, he barely knew where to start. Do you have any pictures of Eli?
She set the chip on her side plate. I do. She dug into her small bag and retrieved her phone, opening the photo app.
When she handed it over, TJ got the first look at his infant son. The pain in his hip faded as he took in the smiling, cherubic baby.
How old is he here? TJ asked.
Six months in that first one.
He stared at the picture for a long time.
Are you ready to order? the waitress interrupted.
Well need a few minutes, Sage answered for them.
TJ flipped to the next picture. Toddler Eli was standing in a yard, petting a black Lab that was taller than him.
You have a dog? TJ asked.
No. Theyre not allowed in our basement suite. Beaumont belonged to a friend. Eli loves animals. He talked me into a gerbil once.
What happened?
He played with it every day, but it was kind of sad. It just wasnt the same as having a dog to walk and play fetch with. Eventually, the gerbil died and, well, we werent really supposed to have it in the first place. And I didnt want to get evicted, so we never got another.
A boy deserves a dog. TJ could remember how badly hed wanted a dog when he was a boy.
A boy deserves a roof over his head, Sage retorted.
TJ looked up from the screen to see her annoyed expression. I didnt mean that as a criticism.
I tried, TJ.
I know you did. Im sure you did. I dont understand why you didnt contact me.
Well, Im not going to explain it all over again.
The waitress arrived once more.
Ill take a beef burrito, TJ said, not wanting to bother reading the menu and not caring what he ate.
The same, Sage said, and the waitress departed.
You didnt look at the menu, he noted.
Just so long as its not lasagna.
He couldnt tell if she was joking or not. He flipped to the next picture.
Eli was in front of a birthday cake covered in blue icing and decorated with mini balloons. There were three candles on the cake, and he was grinning ear to ear.
His birthday? TJ asked, although it was pretty obvious.
Sage nodded.
Eli had dark, slightly wavy hair, just like TJs. There was a familiarity in his eyes and in his slightly crooked smile. TJs chest was tight. His heart was expanding to fill every crack and crevice behind his rib cage.
He had a sonhis own son. Hed missed so much of Elis life.
He moved to the next picture, but it blurred in front of his eyes. I deserve a chance to catch up.
She looked like she wanted to argue. But then she looked like she didnt have it in her.
I know, she said. You can see him as much as you want. I wont try to stop you.
I want him at Highside Hospital.
This time, she shook her head, and he could see the steel determination in her eyes. Thats not possible. He needs me. He needs me there every day.
You can stay in Whiskey Bay. The problem was hardly insurmountable.
I have a job, TJ. I can appreciate this is a huge adjustment for you, but
Adjustment? You call what Im going through an adjustment? He shifted in his chair, and pain shot through his hip. He struggled to keep his expression neutral.
Youre in pain, she said. Should we go back to the hospital?
No! He lowered his voice. We should eat. Starving yourself isnt going to help Eli.
Her jaw clenched tight. Are you going to give me parenting advice?
Im not. He leaned forward to make his point. Because I have no idea what its like to be a parent, thanks to you.
I just apologized.
You think that cuts it? He realized his tone was growing louder, and he forced himself to take a beat. They were both raw and tired, and sniping at each other wasnt going to help anything.
Their burritos arrived, along with condiments and utensils.
He slid her phone back across the table. Thank you for showing me the pictures.
She looked like she wanted to say something more, but she stayed silent.
You should eat, he told her.
She gave a jerky nod.
He flagged down the waitress. Can I get a shot of tequila?
Painkillers would work better, Sage said.
Its not for the pain.
They ate in silence for a while.
Despite everything, TJ couldnt help but think it was good she was eating something. He might not agree with her decision to keep him in the dark, but shed obviously been through a lot taking care of a sick child all on her own.