If I were impulsive, he explained, staring at her over the flickering candle on their discreetly located table, I would have proposed to you the first time I laid eyes on you. Because I knew even then that you and I were meant to be, Jesse. You knew it, too, didnt you?
Yes, she whispered. I knew it.
Then say youll marry me, he demanded, his eyes glowing with triumph.
Ill marry you, she said, and then he lifted her hand and slipped a beautiful antique diamond and garnet ring onto her finger.
You wont regret it. Ill make you so happy youll forget all about the past.
I already have, she vowed.
Weeks later, they were married and settled into their home in a lovely neighborhood only a few miles from the shop. Edgewood, located a few miles from Langley, Virginia, and across the river from Washington, D.C., was home to a lot of government and military employees. Though not as pricey as Georgetown or Alexandria, it still boasted many of the same attractions: tree-shaded sidewalks, cobblestone streets, elegant old Federal and Georgian homes, as well as a close proximity to the nations capital.
Jessica loved her job at the shop, but she gladly gave it up to concentrate on remodeling and redecorating their home. She had no higher aspiration than to be the perfect wife and mother. She loved Pierce dearly, needed him desperately.
How could she have known back then that the one person she held most dear, loved more than life itself, would eventually leave her just like all the others had?
Jessica rested her forehead against her knees as she closed her eyes, trying to push away the memories. Why? she asked herself over and over.
Why had Pierce left her?
And why had he come back?
How could he not remember five years of his life? And yet that was exactly what hed told her. What had been five years of grief and loneliness, struggle and frustration for Jessica had only been a mere thirty minutes in time to him. What could have happened to him?
Hed been hurt. She could tell that by the scars on his face and arm. It made her shudder to think what he might have gone through. There was only a shadow remaining of the man shed known, loved, adored. But was that shadow merely a mirage? Was there anything left of the man from her past?
At that moment, Jessica wasnt sure she could handle the truthwhatever it turned out to be.
* * *
Pierce walked the streets. By force of sheer will, his tired legs carried him farther and farther away from that house. From his home. From his wife. From his son.
The image of those huge dark eyes in that solemn little face brought stinging tears to his own eyes. He rubbed the back of his hand across them, trying to erase the vision as he wiped away the moisture. He had a son. Dear god, a five-year-old boy he didnt even know.
And Jesse. Sweet, lovely, fragile Jesse. She seemed so cold, so hard, so suspicious. But five years had elapsed, shed said. Five years! How could that be? How the hell could that be? Pierce asked himself desperately.
Just a moment in time for him had been five years of limbo for her. One glance in the mirror had told him she wasnt lyingnot that Jesse ever would. Not his Jesse, he thought as his fingers moved to touch the scar on his face.
But the woman back there, the cold-eyed, beautiful stranger was not his wife. He felt something of the loss and betrayal now that she must have felt so long ago when he hadnt come back, and he despaired for them both.
A car horn blasted in his ear, and Pierce jumped back from the curb, startled to alertness. The driver shook his fist at him as the car zoomed through the intersection.
Pierce paid him scant attention. Automatically he waited for the traffic light to change, then walked aimlessly across the street. A bright red Coca-Cola sign flashed in the morning sun over a corner café, reminding him rather urgently that he was hungry. He couldnt remember the last time hed eaten. He couldnt remember anything, in fact, beyond two hours ago.
That wasnt exactly true, he realized. Ever since hed seen Jesses shocked face, hed been experiencing certainimpressions. Impressions of darkness and pain, of wandering around hopelessly lost but knowing all the while there was some place he should be, had to be. That certainty had driven him relentlessly through the mists until, almost as if hed awakened from a long, deep sleep, hed found himself at the grocery store and everything had clicked back into place.
For Pierce, the world had stopped for five years, then started back up again in exactly the same place. But why? And how?
He gazed at the scar on his left arm. What the hell had happened to him?
Checking his pockets, he pulled out the bills and change hed gotten back from the twenty hed used at the grocery store earlier. He had no idea where the money had come from. Someone must have given it to him.
Suddenly the street noises faded. His surroundings disappeared. For just a flash of time, Pierce was back on an island, standing on the beach, staring at the sky. A bird soared high overhead, silhouetted in the brilliant sunlight. It was an image that instantly brought back feelings of anger and betrayal. A nagging premonition of danger. And then a mans voice at his shoulder. Youll need money. Heres all I can spare. Go home now. Find your family and protect them.
The vision vanished, leaving Pierce with a pounding headache in the warm morning sunshine.
Find your family and protect them.
Against what? Against whom?
For a moment, Pierce fought an almost overpowering urge to turn around, to go back home and make sure Jesse and his son were okay. But theyd managed just fine for five years without him. How could he help them now? How could he protect them from something he couldnt even remember?
Wearily he put his hands to his temples, massaging away the pain as the memories and the feelings began to evaporate in the sunshine.
His stomach rumbled againa demand for fueland Pierce knew that whatever had to be faced would best be done by getting back his strength. Besides, Jesse needed some space, and he needed time to figure out what to do.
He opened the glass door of the café and stepped inside. As disreputable as the place seemed to be, his appearance still garnered a few curious looks. He chose a table in the back and carefully studied the one-page menu. The meager selections tempted his appetite beyond reason, making him wonder again just how long it had been since hed eaten. He chose a club sandwich, then checked his money again after the waitress had taken his order.
The bells over the door chimed, and Pierces head swung around, his gaze immediately scrutinizing the man who had just walked in. He was tall and thin with light brown hair and a thick mustache. He took a seat at the counter, and Pierce studied the mans back for a full thirty seconds, not understanding his own wariness.
Did he know that man?
Caution. It was a deeply ingrained command, an almost instinctive behavior. Pierces gaze scoured the room, then came back to his own hands resting on the chipped Formica tabletop. They were tremblingfrom fatigue and hunger as well as emotionbut what caught his attention now was the raw, broken skin across his knuckles. He studied his hands as though they belonged to a stranger. They were scarred and dirty, the nails broken. Disgusted, he rose from his seat and located the mens room nearby.
Trying to avoid his reflection in the mirror, Pierce scrubbed his hands with hot water and soap. The raw places on his knuckles stung, but he ignored the pain, automatically blacking it out. When his hands were as clean as he could get them, he filled the basin with cold water and plunged his face into it, hoping the icy shock would restore his memory.
Why was it he could remember Jesse and their life together so clearly, so vividly, and not anything about the immediate past? He could remember his childhood, his parents and the sterile, loveless home hed grown up in. He remembered college at Georgetown and even friends he hadnt seen or heard from in years. He could remember traveling in Europe and Asia before hed met Jesse, and the secret hed deliberately kept from her, the side of himself hed never told her about.
Guilt welled inside him as he thought about the evasions and half truths hed told her for years. Shed innocently accepted each and every one without question.
Except for the past five years, the memories were all coming back to him now, pouring through his mind so fast he felt a little dizzy.
For years, before hed met Jesse, Pierce had been a specialized agent for a very elite agency that operated within the CIA. Very few operatives even had knowledge of the group whose specialty was deep cover. Pierce had been recruited out of college because he had a certain reputation for living on the edge and because of the antique business hed inherited from his parents. It gave him the perfect excuse to travel around the world without arousing questions. His real identity had become a deep cover for him, the very best kind because no one ever suspected.
Not even Jesse.
He gazed at his reflection in the mirror. Hed never told her even after theyd marriednot just because of the oath hed sworn to upholdbut because hed always thought the less she knew the safer shed be. It had been his duty to protect her.
It still was.
The washroom door swung open, and Pierce whipped his head around, his hand reaching for a weapon he knew instinctively he hadnt had in years. The man whod been sitting at the bar now stepped inside the room. He gave Pierce barely a glance as he headed for a basin and began washing his hands. Quickly Pierce drained the sink, then combed his fingers through his damp hair, trying without much success to look a little more presentable.
The man was studying him in the mirror. Pierce turned and their gazes met. He searched the mans face for some sign of recognition. Something other than the niggle of suspicion was worrying him.
Nice day, isnt it? the man asked pleasantly as he dried his hands on a paper towel.
Itll probably rain this afternoon, Pierce replied automatically, not exactly sure where the response had come from.
Somehow the answer seemed expected. Something flashed in the mans blue eyes, and then he smiled slightly, his mustache tilting at one corner. One things for sure. You can never predict the weather this time of year. Be a fool to try. Then he turned, tossed the paper towel in the trash bin and exited the washroom.
Shaken by the encounter and having no idea why, Pierce waited a few seconds, then followed the man out. The stranger was seated at the counter again and didnt look around. But Pierces appetite was gone. He tossed some bills onto the table and hurried through the café door.
Outside, the sun blinded him. Pierce leaned against the buildings redbrick facade as the full realization of his plight hit him square in the face. Hed just spent the last of his money, he was still hungry, and he had absolutely nowhere to go.
Wiping a streak of sweat from his temple, he pushed himself away from the building and started walking down the street.
* * *
Now, let me get this straight, Jay Greene said as he sat across the kitchen table from Jessica. Youre telling me that Pierce Kincaida man who disappeared five years agostrolled through your back door this morning as if hed only been gone half an hour?
Jessica nodded weakly. He even brought me the ice cream Id sent him out to get that day, right down to the correct flavor.
And you have no idea where he is now?
I took Max next door, and when I came back, he was gone. That was this morning, Jay. He looked so tired, soill. I cant help but think of him out there wandering the streets. Itll be dark soon The look on Jays face stopped her.
I wouldnt get carried away with the pity just yet, Jesse. This whole memory thing seems a little too convenient for me.
You think hes lying? Her voice sounded anxious, shaky.
Wouldnt be the first time a husband just up and took off. Think about it.
She had thought about it. Endlessly. Butwe were so happy, Jessica protested. We were both excited about the baby. The shop was doing great, wed just bought this house
And maybe he woke up one morning and decided he couldnt handle the responsibilities anymore. It happens, and Pierce Kincaid was always a bit footloose, if you ask me. You said yourself he ran the business in a haphazard fashion, and frankly he never struck me as the family-man type.
Now, out of the blue, he appears on your doorstep, just when youve gotten your own life in order. Look at this place, Jesse. Its worth a small fortune, and so is the shop. When he tired of whatever the hell he was doing, why wouldnt he want to come back here?
Jessica stared absently out the window. Jay wasnt telling her anything she hadnt thought of herself, but it still wasnt easy to hear. It wasnt easy to think that Pierce might have walked out on her. That he had lied about his feelings for her.
She had been so sure. So sure their love had been real.
A breeze lifted the hem of the pale blue curtains as it carried in the evening scentshoneysuckle, clover and roses. Years ago, after long days at the shop, she and Pierce would sit on the back porch and sip wine while they watched the first stars twinkle out. Twilight had always been a special time of day for them, a time when the cares of the day melted away into the coming darkness.
Had none of that meant as much to him as it had to her?
As if echoing her thoughts, Jay covered her hand with his and asked softly, How do you feel about him now, Jesse? What was it like seeing him again?
She sighed. Im not sure. I know youre right. I do have to be careful, but you didnt see him. I think he must have been in some sort of accident. He has all these scars. Do you thinkcould he have been kidnapped five years ago? Held all this time?
With no ransom note? Her brother looked skeptical. Its possible. Hell, anythings possible. But victims whore kidnapped either in a robbery or for sport usually turn up dead. Five years is a long time to hold someone captive.
I know, Jessica agreed, her tone bleak. I just keep asking myself where he could have been all this time. What could have happened to him?
Did he have any identification on him?
Jessica shrugged. I dont know. I didnt ask to see it. I didnt need to.
Youre that sure it was him? Jays icy gray eyes scrutinized her face.
It was him. It was Pierce.
Jay swept his hand through his brown hair, setting it on end. He shook his head. Damn, what a mess. You know Ill do what I can, but I couldnt find out anything about him five years ago. It was as if he disappeared off the face of the earth. We may not have any better luck now.