Jay swept his hand through his brown hair, setting it on end. He shook his head. Damn, what a mess. You know Ill do what I can, but I couldnt find out anything about him five years ago. It was as if he disappeared off the face of the earth. We may not have any better luck now.
I just want you to find him, she whispered desperately. Whatever hes done, wherever hes beenhe needs help.
Your help?
Jessica hesitated for a moment, biting her lip. Hes still my husband.
Technically, her brother agreed grimly. All right, Ill see what I can do. He took out a pen and pad and began jotting down notes. Give me a general physical description of how he looked, what he was wearing and all that. And how about a cup of coffee? This looks to be a long night, he said with a sigh.
Jessica rose from the table and reached for a cup, but the barking of a neighbors dog stilled her movements. A shadow swept across the open window, so swiftly she thought at first shed imagined it. Then came a scraping noise on the back porch, as if someone had bumped into a chair.
Jessicas gaze flew to Jays, her heart hammering in her chest. He lifted a finger to his lips, silencing her. Slowly he reached for the light switch just as the sound of the back-door buzzer ripped through the quiet. Jessica gasped and Jay cursed softly as both their gazes fastened on the dark silhouette outside her kitchen door.
Chapter Three
At Jays nod, Jessica rose and went to answer the back door. Heart still pounding, she turned the knob and drew back the door. Pierce stood on the porch, his pale, gaunt features highlighted by the light from the open doorway. If possible, he looked even more weary than he had that morning.
For the longest moment, he and Jessica stared at one another. Neither of them spoke, but the tension crackled between them like a live wire in an electrical storm.
Then his hands slipped into the front pockets of his jeans and he shrugged, a gesture that was at once familiar and dear. The ghost of a smile touched his lips. I seemed to have lost my key, he said wryly.
They both seemed to waver with indecision. Then with a little gasping sob, Jessica took a step toward him as Pierce moved toward her. His arms went around her and held her tightly as she clung to him, her eyes squeezed shut against the intense emotions spiraling through her.
Pierce was alive!
For a moment, everything else vanished from Jessicas mind. She just wanted to hold him, assure herself that this was no dream. He buried his face in her hair, and she could feel his arms trembling as they held her, could feel his heart beating against hers. One hand came up and brushed through her tangled curls.
Im sorry, he whispered raggedly. Maybe I shouldnt have come back here, butI had to. I had to see you again, to make sure you were all right.
Its okay, she said, her voice cracking with deep emotion. She could feel the leanness of his body against her, the sharply defined ridges of his ribs through the ragged shirt. Pierce had once been so virile and muscular. To see him now made Jessicas heart ache with sorrow.
But even now, when hed been through God knows what, she could still sense remnants of strength in his arms, a hint of the same confidence she had always admired so much. Pierce was not a man who would be taken down without a fight.
That thought struck her with cold reality. Was that why he had all the scars? Had he been fighting for his life all this time? Dear God
As if sensing her thoughts, she felt his posture stiffen. She lifted her head and saw that he was staring over her shoulder, his dark eyes wary once more.
Hello, Jay, he said with a thin smile. Arent you out of uniform?
Jessica had forgotten all about her brother. Awkwardness now settled over the room like a funeral pall. She tried to pull away from Pierce, but his arms held her for a fraction longer, as if staking his claim before letting her go.
I didnt think this was an official visit, Jay said. But even without his uniform, he stood military straight, his cool gaze taking Pierces measure without blinking.
Jessica backed away, her gaze darting from Pierce to Jay. Her brothers expression must have been identical to the one shed worn that morning. The mixture of suspicion, disbelief, anger and even touches of fear echoed in Jays gray eyes.
It seemed a million years before either of them spoke again. Jessicas heart raced with tension as she stared up at Pierce, once again taking in the haggard features, the scar.
Pierce smiled. You havent changed a bit.
Not where my responsibilities are concerned, Jay agreed. Shall we all sit down? Jesse, can you get us some coffee?
The command finally motivated her. Jessica headed toward the coffeepot, relieved to have something to do. She could feel Pierces dark eyes on her, following her every movement. Reluctantly her own gaze lifted to meet his. Something flashed between thema memory? A feeling? Jessica wasnt sure. But all of a sudden, she felt a tiny shiver of warning scurry up her spine.
Pierces proprietary gaze moved over her, greedily, familiarly, making her body tingle with memories shed long ago suppressed. He was looking at her the way she remembered him looking at her. The brown eyes were narrowed slightly, the long, thick lashes hooding his expression, but Jessica knew what he was thinking. Shed always known.
She said the first thing that came to her mind. You look hungry.
Starving. His eyes never left her mouth.
Her face flamed at the inadvertentor not so inadvertentinnuendo. Nervously she wiped her moist palms on a paper towel as she moved past him toward the refrigerator.
Actually, what Id really like to do is get cleaned up, Pierce said. He started toward the kitchen door, then checked himself as he looked back at her. Is that all right?
Of course.
He hesitated, his gaze unreadable. Where?
That jolted her. Where, indeed? Shed long since removed his belongings from her bedroom, except for a few mementos she couldnt bring herself to part with. The idea of him once again occupying that room was distinctly uncomfortable.
The question of where he should shower brought up a whole new set of problems for Jessica. Where would he stay? Where would he sleep? What did he expect from her? They were still legally married, but five years was a long time. Even if he had no memory of their separation, the reality of those long, lonely years still breathed a life of their own inside Jessicas heart. Surely he didnt expect just to waltz back in and pick up where theyd left off five years ago.
But if he was really suffering from amnesia, then thats exactly what he would expect. His feelings hadnt changedeven if hers had.
Her gaze lifted again, and Pierces eyes trapped her with a look she thought seemed slightly reproachful, as if hed read her exact thoughts. She blushed again and said almost defiantly, Sometime ago, I moved all your things into the guest room downstairs. Youll find fresh towels in the bathroom. Everything you need.
Her voice trailed off at his look. Not everything, he seemed to be communicating. Then he turned and disappeared through the swinging door to the dining room.
Silence quivered in the air for a long moment, then Jay said, Well, Ill be damned. I wouldnt have believed it if I hadnt seen it with my own eyes.
Silence quivered in the air for a long moment, then Jay said, Well, Ill be damned. I wouldnt have believed it if I hadnt seen it with my own eyes.
With shaking fingers, Jessica pulled the makings of a sandwich from the refrigerator and placed each item carefully on the counter. Sowhat do you think? she asked, not daring to meet her brothers eyes. Hed already seen more than she would have wanted him to. Her reaction when shed first seen Pierce at the door had been purely spontaneous, an overreaction to the tumultuous emotions racing through her. She hadnt stopped to think about what she was doing, about the wrong signals she might be sending to Pierce.
Now she did stop to think, and she regretted the embrace because it had instantly created a bond between them, an intimacy that was far more than she could deal with right now. She was glad Pierce was alive. More than glad. Joyful. Thankful. Theyd conceived a son together. But the years apart had been longer than the years theyd had together. There was no way they could ever go back to what theyd once had.
She hoped to God Pierce understood that.
Jay got up and carried his cup across the room to the coffeepot. He poured himself a fresh cup, took a tentative sip, and grimaced. Damn, Jesse, I wish youd learn to make a decent cup of coffee.
My mind was elsewhere, okay? she snapped.
Hey, dont bite my head off. Im an innocent bystander in all this.
Sorry. She dropped down at the kitchen table and propped her chin in her hand. What am I supposed to do? she asked in desperation. I dont even know him anymore, and he doesnt know me. I dont know where hes been, what hes done, why hes back. Im not even the same person he left five years ago. Ive grown up. Ive taken charge of my life. I dont
Need him anymore? Jay nodded. Im sure hell find that out soon enough, if he sticks around.
What do you mean if? Jessica raked impatient fingers through her hair as she stared at her brother. You think hes going to leave meleave again?
Jay shrugged as he brought his coffee to the table and sat down again. Lets just say Im trying to keep an open mind. Wherever hes been, hes had trouble. You only have to look at him to know that much. What I cant help wondering is what kind. And if hes bringing it back here with him.
Jessicas silver gaze rested on Jays stern countenance. Meaning he could be on the run?
Her brother merely shrugged as he lifted the cup to his lips. But his gray eyes were darkened with worry. Max is next door with Sharon, right?
His tone was a little too casual. Jessica found herself shivering with an eerie premonition as she nodded. She called earlier and asked if he could stay the night. Under the circumstances, I thought it was a good idea.
So do I.
Their gazes met again, and Jessica saw her own uneasiness mirrored in Jays eyes. But before either of them could speak, the kitchen door swung inward and Pierce stepped into the room.
Jessicas gaze instantly collided with his. He looked better, she had to admit. Much better. His dark hair, still glistening with dampness, had been carefully combed and the days-old growth of beard had been scraped away, accentuating even more dramatically the white scar down his cheek, the deep creases around his eyes and mouth.
The jeans hed put on were old and worn, a pair he used to favor for puttering around the house. But even though they were frayed at the hem and shiny at the knees, they were far better than the disreputable pair hed discarded. They hung loosely on his gaunt frame, reminding Jessica of how snugly they had once fitted him, how sexy hed always looked in them.
He wore a blue cotton shirtsleeves rolled up, tail outthat triggered yet another memory for Jessica. Hed worn a blue shirt the day hed disappeared. Had he remembered that, too, or was his selection an ironic coincidence?
He returned her appraisal, the deep brown eyes warm and seeking as they moved slowly over her face and then downward. Her own jeans fitted a little too snugly. Shed always been pencil thin, but after Max was born, shed filled out and had never been able to drop the extra ten pounds. Actually, shed always been happy with the added weight, but now she found herself wondering what Pierce thought.
The sudden warmth spiraling through her veins shocked her. And scared her. It had been a long time since shed felt sexual desire. Not since Pierce had left. Sex with him had been wonderful because it was with him. But before shed met him and after hed left, abstinence had never been a problem for her.
Pierce had always teased her that she was like a car engine on a frosty morning. She had to be warmed up properly to get the best mileage. Jessicas cheeks heated at the memory.
Finally breaking eye contact, she jumped up from the table and busily began assembling his sandwich. Pierce sat down at the table across from Jay, and the two men eyed each other stonily, reminding Jessica that, to her despair, theyd never been the best of friends. She placed the plate in front of Pierce, and their hands touched briefly before Jessica drew hers back.
What would you like to drink? she asked in a brisk tone.
Its been a long time since Ive had a beer, he suggested with a smile that sent a new wave of awareness washing over her.
How would you know that? Jay asked quietly. I thought you lost your memory.
Pierces head swiveled so that his eyes met Jessicas. Its just an impression, not a memory. I think Ive done without a lot of things.
The bottle almost slipped from Jessicas fingers. Hands shaking, she poured the beer into a mug and set it beside Pierces plate, careful this time to avoid his touch. She sat down at the table and watched him attack the sandwich.
His appetite seemed ravenous, though she could tell he tried to curb his urgency. The sandwich disappeared in seconds.
Would you like another one? she asked softly, her heart feeling as if it would break in two.
The idea of seconds seemed to shock him for a moment. Then he said, If youre sure it wouldnt be too much trouble.
It took Jessica a long time to make the second sandwich. She stood at the counter, her back to the men as she tried to gather her shattered poise. But as soon as she wiped away the silent tears from her face, a new batch would take their place. Instinctively she knew she wouldnt let him see her pity. That was the worst thing she could do to a man like Pierce.
At last, sniffing as unobtrusively as she could, Jessica placed the sandwich on the table and said hurriedly, If youll excuse me for a moment, I, uh, have something to do in the other room.
She all but fled the kitchen, leaving dead silence in her wake.
After a few seconds, Pierce picked up the other sandwich and began eating. Jay reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and withdrew a pack of cigarettes and lit up, leisurely blowing a thin stream of smoke skyward.
I thought youd quit, Pierce said as he eyed his brother-in-law curiously.
Ive quit several times since you left. If I hadnt already started again this last time, Im sure I would have after tonight.
Pierces brows arched. Im glad I dont have to take the responsibility then.