He got it, nodding again and hugging her briefly before he took Natalies hand and they walked toward the stage. At the end of the hall, Ezra came out of his dressing room looking fine as hell. A little more tousled. But focused and relaxed.
As if shed said this out loud, he turned, his gaze locking with hers until she felt the tug between them. He waited until she reached him and fell in beside her. Neither of them spoke. She got the feeling he needed the silence.
At the stage, the brothers moved off, speaking to one another intensely for long moments before breaking apart. Damien went out, followed by Vaughan and then Paddy. Ezra stood beside Tuesday, throwing off crazy amounts of charisma and sex appeal.
Arent you going to wish me good luck? he asked, a teasing smile on his face. But she saw a tiny bit of doubt and it shouldnt have been there.
No. You know why? She moved a little closer. You dont need luck. Youre Ezra Hurley. You wrote this book.
He relaxed, taking her hand to kiss her knuckles briefly before he stepped forward, grabbed the guitar Ira held out and slung it on as he hit the stage and started to play.
* * *
ONCE HE LEFT the wings, everything changed. He unleashed his energy, powering through, taking the roar of the crowd, the singing to his lyrics, the applause and the interplay between him and his brothers and feasting on it.
Though the other three had been out together a whole tour, Ezra fit in exactly where he always did. They might have been more used to doing this every night, but he was fresher, so it balanced things out.
For those hours, it was Hurleys Against The World once again and everything was absolutely perfect.
At the first encore break they came offstage and he hit the john, rinsing off his face and neck, changing his shirt.
As he approached the stage Tuesday waited. The look on her face was all about him and it sent a slice of longing down his spine.
Hed wait, though. Just as she did, letting him keep his head in the music. Seemingly assured hed give her the proper attention when the time came.
That sort of confidence was hot.
He grinned her way as he took his guitar back from Ira and they went out once more.
Three encores later and it was time to go home.
* * *
AFTER A SHOW was even louder and more chaotic than it was before the show. When Ezra came offstage, he ended up at Tuesdays side as they all headed back to the greenroom.
The energy seemed to spiral through him and he needed to clean up and get himself together.
He leaned in toward Tuesday once they got to the greenroom. Im going to shower and change. Okay with you?
She nodded. Of course. Ill be here when youre finished. Her mouth, good sweet Christ, he wanted to lean in and kiss it. So much his hands shook a little.
Tuesday tipped her chin at him. Go on then. You wont break me.
He halted, stunned. What?
You were looking at my mouth like you wanted it. So take it.
In two steps hed slid his arm around her waist as he met her body, his mouth sliding over hers, over lips that opened on a sigh as she gave over to him.
He sucked her bottom lip, grazing it with his teeth. Her fingers dug into the front of his T-shirt, holding him to her.
Need clawed at him, sharp and insistent. He wanted to back her up to the wall and fuck her right then and there.
With a groan, he stepped back right as a bunch of people came into the room.
Well continue this conversation when Im cleaned up. He licked over his lips and tasted her again.
She breathed out slowly, one corner of her mouth tipped up into a smile.
But he got waylaid before he could reach the door, as his brothers surrounded him, slapping his back and hugging him.
His energy mingled with theirs and it was okay. This was okay to want. This was part of how it was between the Hurley boys and it was good and elemental and he needed to hold on to that.
But it sure didnt hurt to hear Paddy nearly shout, Best fucking show in years, man. Ez, you fucking ran that shit out there tonight. Well done. Paddy grinned at his brother and Ezra gave him one right back.
There was a flurry of hugs from Mary and Natalie and their other friends whod come to the show.
Tuesday got tugged away to meet someone so he watched her move as he drank some tea and listened to Vaughan and Damien.
Mary patted his arm, following his gaze. Looks like we interrupted something when we came in here.
Ezra shrugged. It would happen. Hed been sure from that first time hed kissed her downtown and then, just three weeks earlier, in the darkness between the grape arbor at her house and the wall.
Theyd been heading toward a naked collision for months now. He smiled at his sister-in-law. No worries, sweetheart.
He managed to escape to his dressing room nearly an hour later and by the time the water hit his skin, he was ready to run a marathon or fuck.
No marathon that night. Maybe fuckingthey certainly had chemistry. Maybe not. Yes. It would happen, though. Ezra found the slow pace, this long seduction of Tuesday and Ezra to not only be sexy, but it gave him the time to work through the way he felt about her. All that desire was seriously hot but the want...he needed to find a way to handle it so he could enjoy it and stop being wary.
It made him feel alive on a whole new level.
CHAPTER THREE
SO. EZRA PAUSED at his car, a sleek, sexy, low-slung Porsche. He backed her to the door and her arms slid around his neck as he stepped close for a kiss.
So? she breathed as he pulled back after smooching the wits right from her head.
Nothing really. I just wanted to kiss you again before you got into the car.
Tuesday laughed, delighted. Sometimes he came off so serious and broody that when he cracked a joke and exposed his dry sense of humor it always felt like a delicious secret.
All right then.
She got in, bending to unstrap her shoes and slide them off.
When she straightened, she found him staring.
You have great legs, he said in that snarly voice of his and she smiled, leaning back into the buttery-soft leather seats.
He drove with the same sort of intensity he did everything else shed seen him do. Though their show had ended nearly two hours earlier, the surface streets around the venue were still busy. He seemed to be doing some sort of complicated geometry so she looked out the window as he wended and wove his way to the freeway.
Once theyd got away from the crowded streets he relaxed a little. Enough that she felt she could speak again.
You were on point tonight.
He smiled, keeping his attention on the road. Yeah?
I saw you once. I mean before. When you were still touring. In Louisville. I was there visiting my family.
Its crazy to me that we both have family within a forty-mile radius of one another in Kentucky. Wariness edged his words. She talked about family but she bet he thought about his addiction.
It was early, she said because it was important he know she saw him at his best. Preheroin. I think maybe right after Ten To Midnight came out. Anyway, thats a long way to say I saw you play before so I have a comparison to make. You were good at the club shows last December. You were like that times a thousand. Tonight, Ezra Hurley was a rock star.
And it was hot. So hot shed nearly melted just watching him move. The Ezra hed been out there, utterly self-assured, sexy, in charge, made her shiver. When he played and wasnt singing, hed worn a smirk like he was thinking of something really dirty.
Best of all, hed owned it, putting it on like a shirt that fit perfectly. All that hot, in-charge stuff had rolled off him in rushing waves. Tuesday wondered what he did with all that energy when he wasnt onstage. Except for those brief moments when he turned it on her and she nearly drowned in it, he was pretty chill.
From a distance.
There was a darkness to Ezra. Something the darkness that lived in her seemed to respond to. A bone-deep grief he didnt use as a shieldin fact he tried to downplay it. But it was there and she bet it was part of what motivated him to succeed now.
She shivered at the idea of being the focus of that sort of attention. She had a very strong feeling Ezra didnt hold back in bed. At all.
She also had a very strong feeling shed know. Soon.
Shed never been so attracted to another person. Not in the whole of her life, which also made her uncomfortable and feeling as if she was being disloyal to Eric even though hed been dead four years. It wasnt like shed achieved expert-level widow status or anything. Nope, she had zero idea of how to begin to think about it.
Thank goodness Ezra spoke to pull her out of that particular self-punishing reverie. It felt right. Tonight I mean. Theres a rhythm onstage. Its different than anything else you do as a band. Ive been off tour for years now. Enough that my brothers have a timing thats apart from me at this point.
In the studio, well, thats one thing. Out on the road theyre working with tour musicians, who are really good, no lie, but its about the three of them. The club shows were more like jamming in the studio. Tonight, that unit of three opened up and I fit where I had belonged at one time when there were four of us in Sweet Hollow Ranch.
She wondered if it was hard to see that theyd moved on without him. Or if he was tempted to go back out on tour after tonights performance. But she didnt know him well enough to delve deeper. Not without knowing if shed make it worse.
She liked Ezra a lot and she didnt want to screw things up, but she wanted to know him better.
Do you find yourself, you know, wishing youd be able to go back out on tour? I mean... I dont know what I mean. I mean, I do, but in my head it sounded better than it does out loud.
He snorted. Its fine. Im not sure how to feel about it. Not yet. Not entirely. He paused and she left it, hoping hed elaborate but knowing he might not.
The album just dropped. Mary and Damien are about to have a baby and of course theyll want to be home, close to family. Paddy and Natalie are going to be intertwined for a whileits not like hell be willing to leave her behind. Its time to put our lives first. Take care of whats important.
Tuesday didnt miss the way he referred to the band as we.
We should have done it for Vaughan, he muttered.
Do you want to elaborate?
Youre not just going to insist I share?
She waved a hand. Who am I to do that? I say things out loud sometimes that I may not mean to. Or maybe I do, but Im just tossing it out to talk about it later.
I suppose with Vaughan its more a tossing the idea out there and maybe we can chew over it later.
Okay.
Things settled into an easy silence for a while. Tuesday liked quiet. She grew up in an insanely loud house. Always alive with kids, family and friends. It meant she cherished silence and guarded her life zealously, keeping the number of people who didnt appreciate the same to a bare minimum.
Except her family. They were loud and crazy and there was no changing that.
So tell me what youre thinking right now, Ezra coaxed in his supersexy voice.
You really want to know?
Im a grown man, Tuesday. I say what I mean.
Okay then. Why was that so hot? Why did he make her itchy and sweaty and a little lonely after they parted?
I was thinking about quiet. About how I like it and how wed been sharing a nice quiet moment. I wish more people liked it.
Quiet amplifies loneliness for some people. Maybe for most people.
Theres nothing wrong with being lonely sometimes.
He hummed. A sound of agreement and approval and it, too, was hot. God, everything about him was hot. How did that even happen? How did one person come with so much on every damned level? What sort of cosmic Scooby Snack was Ezra Hurley anyway?
I didnt come to appreciate silence until I was in rehab.
* * *
TUESDAY SETTLED INTO the seat, looking out the window as he spoke. Ezra had a gut feeling it was because she knew hed prefer she not watch him as he revealed himself.
He didnt know why he was sharing this stuff. Other than he liked her. He liked being with her and the slow getting to know one another thing was new. And slightly disconcerting because she was such a stupid choice for him to make and he was going to make it anyway.
They sent me to this place in the middle of nowhere. Just trees and fresh air and mountains in the distance. Hed gone straight into their detox unit for the first week. Rehab is loud. I mean, and look, I know how lucky I was that the place I went was as great as it was. But theres a lot of crying in rehab. Puking, too. He hated that part worse than all the crying.
The rehab was on acres of land and the main house and the outer cabins were fenced off. It was, I remember even now, a three-mile circuit and Id walk it like four times a day just to go be alone.
Did you feel lonely?
Yes. Hed alienated everyone whod ever mattered to him. Hed fallen so low and had hurt so many people the loneliness had nearly drowned him.
When its quiet you cant avoid it. Her words, the tone in her voice, told him she knew this firsthand.
No. No matter how much it hurts. No matter how much of it is your own fault. He shook it off. Anyway, I had to find better ways to process all my shit. What Id been doing was killing me. It wasnt in a group when hed first been able to say he was a fucking heroin addict out loud. It was under a tree, by himself at that fence line. It had been Ezra who needed to say it. Needed to hear it. Needed to believe it.
Her head moved in a slow nod. I do think sometimes that its when Im avoiding being alone that I need it most. I cant lie to myself with the same ease I can to other people.
Its pretty badass to be sowhat do you call it? Self-aware?
Ha! She laughed. My mother is a hippie disguised as an engineer. She made us keep dream journals when we were growing up. Shes really into speaking the truth and shaming the devil.
Is it as annoying as Im imagining it to be or am I seeing it wrong?
She started to giggle. First a tiny burst and another and one more until shed erupted into a full-on fit and he couldnt really do anything but smile.
And want more.
Its totally annoying. Shes all woo-woo and hippie-dippy and shes an engineer, too. So imagine organized woo-woo. Anyway, she still goes once a year to a holistic healing retreat where they do yoga for fun and eat loaves of mung beans or whatever. Makes her happy, which is the point of such things. Essentially, I was raised to face the unpleasant stuff. Because thats what youre supposed to do.