She started to giggle. First a tiny burst and another and one more until shed erupted into a full-on fit and he couldnt really do anything but smile.
And want more.
Its totally annoying. Shes all woo-woo and hippie-dippy and shes an engineer, too. So imagine organized woo-woo. Anyway, she still goes once a year to a holistic healing retreat where they do yoga for fun and eat loaves of mung beans or whatever. Makes her happy, which is the point of such things. Essentially, I was raised to face the unpleasant stuff. Because thats what youre supposed to do.
Hed bet her mom was pretty fantastic. You mentioned your dad is a roofer?
You were telling me about rehab and silence. Then its my turn.
He sighed. I guess I used the chaos and the noise to keep from confronting my shit. And then I had so much noise and nothing but time so I found some silence and it wasnt until then that I could really do the work.
Talk about self-aware.
Therapy.
Ah. Well.
I see you know what I mean. The moment he said it he wished he could recall the words immediately.
Im sorry. I forgot. It was careless.
She blew out a breath. Its all right. I promise. In this case, though, I had therapy when I was a kid. Before I knew Eric even existed. I was nine. There was an accident on a field trip. Our van flipped and ended up in a river.
Her voice had gone faraway.
Two of my classmates and one of my teachers died. Id been motion sick and the window had been open so I wouldnt throw up. Its how I got out so fast. Anyway, my parents made me go to a psychologist to deal with the nightmares and the grief counseling stuff. Wow, Ive made this rather heavy. Im sorry to be a buzzkill.
Buzzkill his ass. She was incredible. He made a disapproving sound as he pulled up the drive to the large Victorian Tuesday shared with Natalie. The motion sensor lights flooded the front of the house, exposing pretty front gardens and a porch with furniture that invited you to sit.
He keyed the car off and turned to her. So we both found our silence it looks like.
She nodded. A shadow across her features meant he couldnt see her expression very well. And owned our loneliness, huh?
Maybe so, but he didnt have to be alone right then and neither did she.
He ignored her rhetorical question. Let me walk you in. Make sure everything is all right.
Is this a pity good-night hand squeeze for the widow?
Holding back an annoyed snarl, he got out and circled to her side, opening the door and helping her to her feet.
He moved in close. Is that what you want from me, Tuesday? Pity? I can give you pity at a coffee shop in broad daylight. I can send you a book about grief but Im betting youve written one of your own.
Her gaze flicked up, snagging on his. Defiant. Good. He didnt want her afraid or cowed; he wanted her to know who he was and want him anyway.
She licked her lips and then shrugged. I want you to touch me and never make me think you feel sorry for me. People die, Ezra. It happened. It happened when I was nine and it happened four years ago. Ill die. Youll die. Its what were born to do. I dont need your pity. I need your dick.
He barked a laugh, surprised. She clearly didnt want to go into it any deeper right then so he let it go because he knew what that felt like. I think I can manage that.
All right then. She linked her arm through his and walked, her heels dangling from a fingertip as they headed up her front porch steps.
Ezra was sure the house was fine; they had good locks and security. It wasnt really that he had to walk her in, or that he was concerned for her safety. Sharon Hurleys sons might have been an unruly handful at school, but they always opened doors for people; they said please,thank you,sir and maam; and they walked their dates to the door. Hurleys had a protective streak when it came to people they considered theirs.
Theirs. She was his brothers girlfriends best friend. And he considered Tuesday a friend. So thats what it was. Nothing more.
Ezra paused at that for a moment but let it pass.
He wanted to be with her. Alone in a place he could lay her out and enjoy her awhile. Natalie would be with Paddy so theyd have the house all to themselves where theyd be far less likely to be interrupted by someone whose last name ended in a Y.
Tuesday turned to him as he heard the snick of a lamp turning on. The main living area warmed with a golden glow. Hed been there before with Natalie, but this was the first time hed been inside, alone with Tuesday. It was a nice enough place but he wasnt there to look at the furniture.
The smile on your face? One of her brows slid up. Should I be delighted or worried?
All my smiles when it comes to you are ones that should delight you.
Wow. Thats a really bold statement, Ezra.
Im full of bold statements, beauty.
She hummed as she dropped the shoes and then headed to him, not stopping until one of her hands rested on his chest. I think Im going to like finding out. Come upstairs. Ill show you my side of the house.
CHAPTER FOUR
SHE TOOK HIS hand and led him through the house and kitchen. Nat and I each occupy half the upstairs. My entry is back here.
Her stairs led up a spiral case that was mainly windows. Even better, he realized as he looked up and up, the highest panes were stained glass.
Is that as pretty as I think it could be when the light hits it just right?
She indicated the area with a wave of her hand. Yes. It lights this whole space with blues and reds. Those panels were the original. The people who sold the house to Natalie had taken them out and replaced them with clear glass. We found the stained glass in the shed out back. Not even a hairline crack. Its amazing but they were in perfect condition.
Once they walked a few steps in, he slid into what was, without a doubt, Tuesdays innermost world. Though the elegance and classic lines werent a surprise, he found this spaceher private space unexpectedly soft.
The furniture in her realm was more formal, in curves and swoops. He didnt know what the style was called, but he liked it. Decorative moldings and a chair rail defined the walls without overtaking the space. Soft blues and yellows complemented a seating area with a small love seat and table. Bookshelves had been built along one wall, framing the window where a chaise sat with a throw tossed on the back and an e-reader on the side table.
The imagined peace one would feel just lying there reading on a lazy afternoon tugged at him, made him hungry for it. It had been way too long since being lazy had been a luxury hed allowed himself.
Reading nook?
She nodded. When I came up here the first time, this part of the house had been empty. Natalie didnt have enough furniture to fill it up and shed really only been living in her half of the upstairs. Anyway. I got up here and it was afternoon. The light slanted across the floors just right and I knew this was a place I should be. I read a lot. I like reading in bed but sometimes I want to sit in my window over there, cover my legs with a blanket and read while it rains.
I have a library at my house. Its part of my home studio and practice space. But Im with youI like reading in bed.
She cocked her head. I have to admit, I so rarely see you still, I might be totally surprised to come upon you caught up in a book.
When I was in first grade, I still couldnt read and my parents were dealing with the school back and forth. They said I wasnt very smart and youve met my mother so you can imagine how well that went over. Anyway, finally my mom said, can he read something else? Something he picks? They agreed. Probably to get her to shut up and leave, but it works for her brilliantly.
Tuesdays laugh brought him a step closer.
Let me guess how that ended. When you got to choose you loved reading. You just didnt like anyone else making your choices.
Its a flaw. I admit it. He looked at her, letting her see what he was thinking. I like being in control.
She blinked a few times.
Is this a sex reference? Im sorry. Is it unsexy to have to ask? I probably shouldnt have even asked.
Beauty, you have plenty of sexy. Thats not a worry. Its a general comment that also happens to apply to sex.
Watching this normally superconfident woman get a little flustered when it came to thiswhen he sure as hell felt a little flustered himselffilled him with tenderness he rarely felt for anyone outside his family.
She shrugged. I suppose then, well have to go along and see if your need to control and my need to lick you all over are compatible.
* * *
TUESDAY KNEW SHE sounded a lot more confident than she felt. Sex with him? Yes. Yes and yes again. Control, though? What did that mean? Like something creepy? Or something hot? Sometimes people inexplicably found stuff like cell phone tracking and that sort of control to be superhot. She was not one of them.
She didnt need a dad. Or a protector. Or a white knight. Or a stalker.
Thats some conversation youre having in your head, given the look on your face. He fought a smile and she was charmed.
Ezra was out of her league. This pull between them had the potential to be overwhelming and end horribly.
But it felt so good she let herself do it anyway.
She was used to confident men, yes. Smart, too. But Ezra wasnt just some dude she planned to fuck awhile.
I was just weighing what you might mean by control.
The gaze he raked over her was nearly physical. One of his brows went up and one corner of his mouth dented with a freaking dimple. A dimple. He was so ridiculously alluring at that moment, tousled, big and hearty.
Tuesday loved a big man. Some people liked brown eyes; she liked tall men with broad shoulders. The material of his shirt stretched over so much taut skin and work-strong muscle she couldnt have stopped looking if shed tried. Which she had no plans to do. If something broke, hed know how to fix it. If something was heavy, hed carry it.
More than being physically big, Ezra was big with his presence, as well. He seemed to radiate with energy and intensity.
It made her greedy because Ezra Hurley was like chocolate volcano cake. You knew it had the most calories on the menu and that it would be a gooey mess but you ordered it anyway because gooey, messy and high in calories usually meant a good time.
She was going to gorge herself on this man and she was going to do it without apology or second-guessing because she wanted him. She wanted him and he wanted her and this thing they shared was so hot and compelling and sexy that it made her drunk on his testosterone.
She groaned. You have a really big dick, dont you?
He did a double take once he truly heard her question and it was so funny she nearly forgot shed actually blurted out that thing about his dick.
See? Drunk. Like an amateur. She wasnt an amateur, damn it! Um. She put her hands over her face, the skin hot against her palms.
I didnt actually mean to say that out loud.
He stepped close enough to slide his arms around her waist. Now that she had her heels off, he was much taller and she had to look up a bit but he was smiling.
Well, if youre going to ask such a question at least your assumption that my cock is big is a good way to go about it. But you can just see for yourself. If youre curious and all.
She mirrored the way he held her. Though her hold on his waist was moot once he pulled her closer, arranging her the way he pleased before he turned his attention back to her face.
And then she sort of got the whole control thing in the way hed meant it.
Ezra was in charge and she liked it just fine.
Ezra touched her like he meant it. The brief bite as his fingertips pressed into her upper arms as he shifted her did all sorts of things to her hormones. Rough, yes. But more because he wanted her so much, he had to have her.
He wasnt just there. He was utterly present and focused on her.
Thrilling. Flattering. Dizzying.
He bent and she tipped her face up to meet his kiss. He was a master classlevel kisser as he gave a long, slow perusal of her mouth. Exploring her, tasting each part as if she were delicious. A lick against her top lip. A lave with the flat of his tongue over the curve of her bottom lip. He tangled his tongue with hers. A quick flick here, a nibble there.
Ezra Hurley pretty much kissed all the reasons not to fuck him that night right out of her head. Which was fine and all, since really, her reasons had been thin and dumb and he was so warm and hard and pressing that part of him shed just asked about to her belly.
Yeah, big.
When he broke the kiss she licked her lips to get one last bit of his taste. You havent seen my bedroom yet.
His smile made her clit throb. Like actual pulsing and she knew she had to take note and relay that info to Natalie because that was the sort of thing you totally told your best friend.
I havent. Youre a terrible hostess.
For a man with such darkness in his eyes, he also had a wonderful sense of humor.
I didnt even offer you any juice or a snack.
Id rather see you naked.
Well. I approve of your priorities.
She took his hand and led him into her bedroom. This was her intimate space. Natalie often had people in her room, but Tuesday was more hesitant. Sure their close friends had been up here, but shed never actually had a man in her bedroom since shed lived in that house. Hell, she hadnt shared her bed with anyone in four years. Not since shed been married. She supposed she still was married. Wasnt she? Death wasnt divorce, right?
That hit her so hard she actually had to sit down on the edge of her bed.
Concern on his face, Ezra knelt to face her. Tuesday? Are you all right?
She considered not answering. It was embarrassing and stupid and if she did tell him they totally werent going to have sex that night.
Then again, he was precisely the kind of man who wouldnt just fuck her if she said, Never mind, Im fine, bone me, either.
Tuesday swallowed her hesitance and said, Something just occurred to me. Hit me a little harder than Id expected it to.
Your husband?
What a weird conversation to be having and yet it was okay to share with him. So she did. I was just thinking I hadnt had a man up here. Ever.