He reached over and pulled her into his arms, then noticed the people standing on the street watching them. With a soft curse, he turned the ignition and started the truck.
Once he got out of town, Dermot followed the signs for a small county park that theyd passed a number of times. He headed down a quiet tree-lined drive and pulled the truck off into a parking lot, overlooking a picnic shelter. Reaching for Rachel, he drew her into his embrace.
When the tears suddenly came pouring out, he wasnt sure what to do. Hell, he wasnt really sure why she was crying. Was it because of the letter from the lawyer, or was she just so tired that anything would put her over the edge?
He stroked her back and whispered to her, softly telling her what he thought she needed to hear. When she finally quieted, he drew back and looked down into her watery eyes. Its going to be all right, Dermot murmured. Well figure this out, I promise.
His hands lingered on her hips as his gaze fell to her mouth. Sniffling, Rachel leaned forward and touched her lips to his. Thank you, she said.
For what?
For being the only one that seems to care about what I want.
Sweetheart, that will never change. No matter what happens, you can always count on me.
She nodded. How is it that youre still single? Why hasnt some woman married you and made you an honest man?
I dont know, Dermot said. Maybe I just havent met the right woman yet.
When you do, shes going to be very lucky.
Dermot slipped his hands around her waist and pulled her body against his. He took his time, focusing on the feel of her lips beneath his, waiting for the silent cues to her need. His lips touched her left eyelid and then her right, kissing away the tears. Tell me this makes you feel better.
She sighed deeply as he kissed her temple. Yes, Rachel said. It feels good.
He hooked his finger beneath her chin and tipped her gaze up to meet his. And then he kissed her again, his tongue teasing at her lips before gently invading her mouth. But this kiss was meant to tempt her, to show her that this wasnt just about desire. Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck and surrendered, and Dermot felt a familiar rush of heat course through his body as he pushed her back against the passenger door.
His hands slid down her waist to her hips, then circled to smooth over her back. How would he ever do without this? Hed come to crave the feel of her in his arms, the taste of her mouth, the scent of her hair. Dermot knew that he ought to step back, to regain his perspective. But everything about her drew him deeper, until he felt as if she were the only lifeline in a whirlpool of unfamiliar emotions.
He slowly eased away, bracing his hands on either side of her body. Was he falling in love? Everything about this woman made him want to protect her. It wasnt about his own pleasure anymore, but about her happiness. And yet, Dermot wasnt even sure hed know love if it hit him over the head.
He just barely remembered his parents, how they laughed with each other, how theyd share a secret moment when they thought no one was watching. Was that love? Because he had all of that with Rachel.
You said we needed to talk, Rachel said at last.
About what?
Dermot shook his head. Nothing. It was nothing.
Rachel grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him back down on top of her. She reached for the buttons of his work shirt, dropping kisses on each bit of exposed flesh.
There were moments when they couldnt seem to get close enough. His hand moved to her breast and she moaned softly. Dermot grazed his thumb across her nipple. He watched as she arched against his touch, her breath coming in quick gasps and her lips damp.
He had three weeks left with Rachel, three weeks to figure out why she meant so much to him. Would it be enough? Or would he be forced to walk away without ever really knowing if they belonged together? There were so many questions that needed to be answered already, and the list just kept getting longer.
5
IT WAS A PERFECT summer night. The sky was clear, the sunset turning the western horizon orange and pink. Rachel stood at the screen door, staring out into the quiet yard. The first crickets had started to chirp, a pretty counterpoint to the sound of the baseball game coming from the truck radio.
Dermot sat on the porch steps, tossing a little ball into the yard for Benny, who danced around it playfully before picking it up in his mouth and carrying it back to Dermot.
It was a testimony to how easily Dermot had found his place on the farm and a special connection with the animals. Benny usually did whatever he wanted, causing as much trouble as he could along the way. But now he seemed to be content to play a goat version of fetch, a brand-new trick for him.
She pushed open the screen door and it squeaked. Dermot glanced over his shoulder. Mariners are ahead, six to four. And I didnt know goats could fetch.
Neither did I. Hes never done that before.
Really?
Rachel nodded. Do you go to baseball games when youre at home? she asked.
He nodded. My brothers and I have season tickets. I usually get to at least one game a week when theyre in town.
She sat down beside him and wrapped her arms around her knees. Tell me what youd be doing if you were home. I want to be able to imagine your life after youve left.
He reached out and caught her chin. Do you think Im just going to disappear from your life when my six weeks are up?
Rachel shrugged. II dont know. Im not sure whats going to happen. Are you going to disappear?
No, he said. I think well talk. And maybe you could come to Seattle to visit me. I could take you sailing. Or I could visit the farm. Its not like Im going to be living on the moon. There are planes that fly back and forth between Chicago and Seattle.
Rachel sighed softly. As much as she needed a vacation, she knew the reality of her situation. You know how difficult it is for me to get away. The dairy requires me to be here every day of every week.
Then were going to have to find someone to help you out after I leave. And hes going to be old and toothless and preferably gay.
Rachel laughed. Oh, so you dont want me hanging around the bus stop and hiring another Dermot Quinn?
Im one of a kind. Youll never find another farmhand like me.
She stood up and walked down the steps. Im going to get the mail. Do you want to come with me?
Dermot shook his head. No, I think Ill just stay here and watch.
As Rachel walked to the driveway, she swayed her hips provocatively and he gave her a wolf whistle.
Work it, baby, he called.
She usually avoided the mail for as long as she could, sometimes letting it build up for a week. It was always the same thingbills, bills, bills. The power, the feed store, the vet.
She opened the box and pulled out a stack of envelopes, then walked back down the driveway, flipping through them. One piece of mail caught her attention and she pulled it from the bunch, staring at the return address. Minneapolis.
When she reached the porch, she sat down again and waved the envelope at Dermot. A letter from my sister, Jane, she said.
When she reached the porch, she sat down again and waved the envelope at Dermot. A letter from my sister, Jane, she said.
Really, he murmured. He grabbed the envelope and examined it. Are you going to open it?
I know whats inside. Shes going to try to convince me to sell the farm. Im sure she could use the money for a new car or a vacation to Mexico. She lives in a neighborhood where money is very, very important.
Dont open it, Dermot said.
But Rachel didnt want to shy away from the conflict any longer. She felt stronger now, as if she could finally stand up for herself and state her case. Her father had left the decisions about the farm to her. She was the executor of his estate. I want to see what she has to say.
Rachel ripped open the envelope, pulled out a three-page letter and began to read. But the subject wasnt at all what shed expected. Oh. She and her husband are having problems. Theyre getting a divorce. He took all their money and ran off with Oh, no. He ran off with another woman.
Dermot slipped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. He took the letter from her and continued reading. She needs time to sort out her life. She wants to send her boys to live on the farm to get them away from all the gossip.
I dont even know them. I met them six or seven years ago when they came for Christmas when my mom was still alive. They havent been to the farm since then. Theyre probably teenagers now. Rachel leaned over to read the rest of the letter. When does she want to send them?
As soon as possible, he said. She wants you to call her.
A long silence grew between them. How could she refuse? This was the first time any of her siblings had ever asked her for anythingbeyond their demands to sell the farm. She wanted to believe she might one day have a relationship with her brothers and sister, but this was not the way she wanted it to happen.
What are you going to do? Dermot asked.
Shes family. And she needs my help. I cant say no. She met his gaze and felt a surge of emotion. What do you think?
He nodded. I think youre absolutely right. This will be a good place for your nephews to be while all that turmoil is going on at home. And maybe you and your sister can become a bit closer.
Ive never had many opportunities to deal with teenage boys before, Rachel said. What if theyre naughty?
Dont worry. Ill help you out. I was once a teenage boy. I know whats going on in their heads.
Rachel slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Thank you, she murmured.
It was so simple to depend upon him, and yet, she knew that in a few more weeks hed be gone. Life seemed so much easier when she had Dermot standing in her corner, backing her up, ready to catch her when she fell.
When they come, theyll have to stay in the house, she said.
I didnt expect that youd put them in the barn.
Which means youre going to have to move back in with Eddie. He opened his mouth to protest, but she put her finger across his lips. It just wouldnt be right. I have to set a good example. And Jane is very conservative when it comes to her children.
Well, then, were going to have to find a place to sneak away every now and then.
Rachel smiled. I suppose that could be arranged.
And were going to have to get in as much sex as we can before they arrive, Dermot added. Starting now. He stood up and scooped her into his arms, then carried her up the porch steps and into the house.
Maybe this was for the best, Rachel thought. Theyd become so close that it was almost impossible to imagine how she could ever let him go. Perhaps by putting some distance between them, the leaving might be a bit less traumatic.
He set her on the edge of the kitchen counter, stepping in between her legs as his hands smoothed up her bare thighs. His lips met hers, and a heartbeat later, they were lost in a deep and stirring kiss.
Ive been thinking about this all day, he said against her mouth, his hands slipping through her hair.
What were you thinking? she asked, her breath coming in quick gasps.
About what would happen once we were alone again.
Were always alone, she said, unbuttoning his work shirt. What did you imagine?
Pushing the soft cotton aside, Rachel reached up and smoothed her hands over his naked chest. What are we doing here? she murmured, pressing her lips to his chest.
I have no idea, Dermot replied, but I dont want to stop.
He ran his hands down her back and Rachel shivered at the sensation of his touch. This is going to be impossible, she said, nuzzling her face into his neck.
Were sleeping in the same bedroom. How is that impossible?
How long do you think we can keep this up? Rachel asked. Its getting out of control.
Dermot drew her closer, pulled her legs around his waist. She could feel his desire beneath the faded fabric of his jeans. Out of control is good, he said. Thats exactly how it should be between us.
Rachel reached up to run her fingers along his lower lip. What do you want from me? Tell me.
Im sure we can come up with something. He gently bit at her fingertips. God, youre beautiful. Ive looked at you hundreds of times in the past few weeks and I cant seem to get enough. Not this way.
Dermot tugged the strap of her tank top off her shoulder and pressed a line of kisses over the gentle curve between her neck and arm.
I dont know anything about you, she said. Yet I know you completely.
Its strange, he said, smoothing his hand across her breast. But wonderful.
Dermot smiled as he cupped her breast in his hand, teasing at her nipple with his thumb. And then, in one easy motion, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his mouth against her neck. He trailed kisses from her collarbone to her breast, then finally drew the hard nub of her nipple into his mouth. She arched back, holding her breath as he pulled her down into another kiss.
She wanted to tell him how she felt, just blurt it all out and let the consequences fall where they may. What did she have to lose? He was going to leave anyway. Rachel cupped his face in her hands and turned his gaze up to hers. Im not sure anymore that I can let you go.
Im not sure anymore that I want to leave.
Rachel groaned, tipping her head back and closing her eyes. Dont say that. She shook her head. Dont tease me and let me believe you want to stay.
Why not?
She opened her eyes and looked at him. This isnt a game. This is my life.
What does that mean? Dermot said, an edge of anger in his voice.
I think that sometimes youll say anything to get what you want. Rachel sighed. This conversation was going nowhere. They usually had no trouble communicating, but she couldnt seem to make him understand. Dont talk about the future like you imagine yourself here.
Dont you imagine that your life might suddenly become easier?
Easier? You think I want you because it makes my life easier? Though the notion seemed insulting at first, Rachel realized that maybe Dermot was right. Maybe she was falling in love with the idea of a man at Clover Meadow Farm, instead of with the man himself. What did she really know about Dermot, beyond what they shared in the bedroom?