Are you really that delusional? Rachel asked. I dont need you to complete my life. Im perfectly capable of running this farm on my own.
Are you? Dermot asked, his expression intense.
God, was he deliberately provoking her? How had this conversation managed to deteriorate in such a short time. She ought to just walk away, before she said something she couldnt take back. Yes, I am. In fact, right now, I wish Id never even hired you. I thought Id figured out what I wanted and then you came along and screwed it up. She cursed softly. I was all right being alone. I wasnt happy, but I was fine.
Rachel scrambled off the counter, crossing the kitchen to stand behind the table, creating a barrier between them. Anger bubbled up inside her. How had she let things go so far? Shed promised herself that shed protect her heart, and somehow, without even knowing, shed allowed herself to fall for him.
I think you should go, she said, humiliated at the emotion that made her voice shake.
Are you joking?
Ill pay you for all six weeks. Youll have enough for a bus ticket home. It would be better for both of us.
Im not going anywhere. You hired me to work on this farm for six weeks and thats what Im going to do. If you dont want me in your bed anymore, thats fine. But Im not leaving. So you can just forget that.
Rachel cursed softly. Dermot Quinn was stubborn and arrogant. Its better if we just end it now, before either of us gets in too deep.
His gaze met hers. Im not sure thats possible, he replied. I know its not possible for me. And I dont think its possible for you either.
We need to try. Rachel moved to the door, then turned back to look at him. Im going to try.
She yanked open the screen door and walked outside, heading for the barn and a last check on the goats. She felt as if shed just dodged a terrible danger, her heart slamming in her chest, her adrenaline pumping. It would be easy to fall in love with Dermot and so hard to fall out of love. And right now, she didnt have the strength to fight that battle.
SEND UP SOME MORE shingles, Dermot called.
He tucked his hammer into the old tool belt and made his way down from the peak of the roof. Eddie was stationed on the ground next to the old stone house, his hands on the rope to a pulley theyd rigged up. As always, Benny was at his side, this time perched on top of a stack of packaged shingles.
Over the past few days, Dermot had worked himself to exhaustion. At first, it helped alleviate his anger. The fight theyd had had been ridiculous. It was clear that Rachel was looking for any excuse to put some space between them and had jumped on the first misunderstanding theyd had.
Once his anger had cooled, hed used hard work to defuse his sexual energy. It helped to have something to focus on, beyond thoughts of Rachels lips or her breasts or the way her body felt beneath his.
But now, he needed to drive himself hard just to sleep at night. It was the only way he could deal with the empty spot beside him in bed. If he was tired enough, he could sleep without dreaming of Rachel and her soft skin and naked flesh and Dermot cursed.
Im working as fast as I can, Eddie said. These things arent as light as a feather, you know. Im an old man. Give me a break.
Sorry, Dermot called down. I wasnt swearing at you.
Three nights thinking about her, wondering if she was lying awake thinking about him. The days were even worse. He worked beside her in the dairy barn, watching her move, thinking about how nice it would be to drag her into his arms and kiss her until she surrendered again. They ate dinner together, drove to the feed store together, walked out to the pasture to fetch the goats for evening milking.
He understood her reluctance to get close again. They had jumped into the deep end of the desire pool and become expert swimmers in a very short time. Surprising for him since hed always been rather indifferent about long-term relationships. When the strings came along, he was usually the one to cut and run.
But there were moments when he could actually picture himself living on the farm with Rachel. Those moments occurred at the oddest timeswhile he was chopping potatoes for dinner or when they were standing at the gate to the goat pen, watching the kids jump and play. This morning it had come when she handed him a mug of coffee.
Hey, whats goin on up there?
Dermot looked over the edge of the roof and waved at Eddie. The package of shingles was nestled inside the bucket and he pulled on the rope.
A few moments later, Eddie appeared at the top of the ladder. He clambered onto the roof before Dermot had a chance to stop him, nimbly sitting down next to Dermot with a satisfied smile.
If Rachel catches you up here, shes going to kill me, Dermot warned.
The old man grinned. At my age, I can do whatever I want. I dont take my orders from her. He paused. Although it seems that you do.
I work for her. Shes the boss.
You know what I mean. I can see that somethings changed between you. You two used to act like lovesick fools.
We were not
Dont think I didnt know what was goin on, Eddie said, wagging his finger at Dermot. I may be old, but Im not stupid. There was a spark there, somethin special. I dont know what happened between you, but whatever it was, I expect the spark is still there.
We just decided it would be better if
Dont give me that bull. What the hell is better about this? The two of you mopin around? How is that better?
Eddie had barely said more than five words to him before this and now he was lecturing him on his relationship with Rachel? This didnt seem real, Dermot mused. But then, Eddie had known Rachel her whole life. Maybe he could offer some valuable advice.
Its the way Rachel wants it, Dermot said.
Oh, dont be such a namby-pamby. Take control. Eddie frowned. I had a spark once. Shoulda married her, but I didnt. Her name was Mary Ellen Duncan. I wasted too much time and some other fella caught her eye and that was the end of it for me. We coulda been happy. We coulda had a good life, but I was too dang polite to tell her how I felt.
Carpe diem, Dermot murmured.
What are we talking about now?
Carpe diem. Its Latin. Seize the day. But what if I dont know how I feel? Dermot asked.
Eddie waved his hand dismissively. Then figure it out. Take off your short pants and be a man. Dont be a mouse. Because, Ill tell you one thing. When she leaves this farm and goes back to the city, theres goin to be all kinds of men wholl come courting. And Im not sure youd be able to stand the competition. Youre not that good-lookin.
Well, thanks for the advice, Dermot said. I appreciate it.
Eddie shook his head. Dont just sit there. Do something about it. Carpe your diem.
Any suggestions?
I suggest you take her out for ice cream. Rachel likes ice cream. Buy her a cone at Ivys and sit yourself down and have a nice talk. It will do wonders, mark my words.
Ice cream. All right, I could do that. Thats about all I can afford right now.
Well, do it, then, he said. Climb down that ladder and make a date. Now. Before you lose your courage.
I suggest you take her out for ice cream. Rachel likes ice cream. Buy her a cone at Ivys and sit yourself down and have a nice talk. It will do wonders, mark my words.
Ice cream. All right, I could do that. Thats about all I can afford right now.
Well, do it, then, he said. Climb down that ladder and make a date. Now. Before you lose your courage.
Dermot groaned, then swung his leg over the ladder. You better get down before she sees you up here.
I will, Eddie said, grinning. You have a good evening, now.
Dermot grabbed his shirt from the porch rail and slipped into it as he crossed the yard. He found her surrounded by goats in the paddock near the milking barn. She held one of the kids in her arms, laughing as he nibbled at her hair.
At first, he was reluctant to interrupt her. She looked so pretty, so happy. She was dressed in a loose cotton sundress, her hair full from the humidity in the air. He clenched his fingers as he thought about the last time hed touched her, buried his face in her hair, pressed his lips to her neckhe drew a ragged breathand lost himself in the warmth of her body.
Dermot stood on the lowest rail of the gate and braced his hands on the top edge. I see Ive been replaced, he called.
She turned and looked at him. Hey.
I used to be the one who nibbled on your hair. Or have you forgotten already?
She set the kid down and walked over to the gate. Are you done for the night?
He reached out and grabbed her hand. I am. And I was wondering if youd like to drive into town and get some ice cream. Its a beautiful Friday night.
Are you asking me out on a date?
Yeah, maybe I am. Things have been a little tense lately. Would you go out on a date with me?
She studied him for a long moment then shrugged.
Sure. Lets go.
He opened the gate for her and she stepped out of the pen. Dermot draped his arm around her shoulders as they walked. What else is there to do in small-town Wisconsin on a Friday night besides watch goats?
She thought for a long moment. Theres a football game at the high school. And you can usually find a bingo game somewhere in town, at one of the churches or at the fire hall. And the stores on Center Street stay open late. We could go hang out at Mellers Five-and-Dime or Big Jimmys Hardware.
All right, he said, we have choices.
She reached up and grabbed his hand where it rested on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Lets start with the ice cream.
They hopped in the truck and headed off to Mapleton. There was only one place for ice cream, Ivys Drive-In. Dermot swung the truck beneath the overhang, and a minute later, a carhop put a tag on the windshield and stood next to the drivers door, awaiting their order.
They both ordered a cone, then hopped out of the truck and walked around to the back. Rachel boosted herself up on the open tailgate, her slender legs dangling.
I love nights like this, she said. So warm and so perfect. Makes me wish winter would never come.
I bet its beautiful around here in the winter, Dermot said. Id like to see it.
She bumped his shoulder. You would not love the winters here. Theyre cold and windy. And you dont have to say things like that.
Im not supposed to say something I really mean? He grabbed her hand. I dont want to argue with you, Rachel. I think we should spend our last few weeks enjoying ourselves.
The carhop appeared with their ice cream cones, defusing the tension between them. Dermot took a bite and smiled. Raspberry twirl, he said. Good choice. What did you get?
Im just a vanilla girl, Rachel said.
You are not vanilla, Dermot said. He leaned close and dropped a kiss on her lips, licking his as he drew back. Yum.
Thats about as exciting as its going to get, she teased.
I like kissing you. I could kiss you all night. Where do people go around here to make out? Maybe we could go see that place.
I never did that when I was in high school. I was a good girl.
Well, maybe you should give it a try now.
And maybe you could take me to the homecoming dance, too, she teased.
I never went to a high school dance, he said. That would be fun.
She seemed surprised by his admission. You never went to a dance? I find that hard to believe.
Kieran and I really didnt do a whole lot at school. We spent most of our free time working at my grandfathers boatyard. We built a racing sloop junior year of high school, and then senior year, we spent every weekend tearing up and down the sound. He wove his fingers through hers. Now, if you had gone to our high school, I might have asked you to a dance. Or taken you out on our boat.
You never would have noticed me, she said. I used to just blend into the walls. I was very plain and very shy. I was the girl with the pencil case. I used to carry all my colored pencils around in this plastic case with a little handle. It kind of became my thing. I was odd.
All right. Maybe I wouldnt have asked you out.
She reached over and dabbed a bit of ice cream on the end of his nose. See. I like it when youre honest with me.
Dermot stared at her for a long moment. Hed been completely honest with her. She was the one who didnt believe him. God, she was the most beautiful, exasperating, exciting woman hed ever known, and every day that they spent together, she grew more beautiful. He lived for her smile and her laugh and the way her eyes lit up when they spoke.
Would you like to hear another truth? he asked.
First you need to clean the ice cream off the end of your nose.
You do that, he said.
When she leaned into him, he caught her by surprise, kissing her again. Heres a truth, he murmured. I like you a whole lot, Rachel Howe. And if Im not careful, I might fall in love with you.
Her breath caught in her throat and she stared at him, wide-eyed. I like you, too, she said.
It felt good to say those words out loud. And he didnt care if all they shared was the occasional kiss from now until he left. He was satisfied just to sit next to her and talk.
He had eighteen days left to figure this all out. It didnt seem like a lot of time, but for the two of them, it would have to be enough.
SLEEP WAS IMPOSSIBLE. Rachel stared at the ceiling of her bedroom and groaned softly. The heat made her skin sticky and her hair damp. Even the fan in the window didnt provide any relief. But she knew it wasnt the heat. It was Dermot.
Her mind was spinning, a tangle of thoughts she just couldnt seem to sort out. Shed left him at the door a few hours before, determined not to let a few delicious kisses rock her resolve to put distance between them.
Was it so difficult for him to understand? She was only trying to protect herself from the hurt that would eventually come. Surely he could see that she was growing far too dependent on him.
It would be so easy to fall in love, to believe that he was some white knight come to rescue her from all her problems. With a partner, she could keep the farm, she could have time to do her work as an artist, she could honor the promise she made to her father. Everything would fall into place so neatly.