I do. Have you answered?
No, and Im avoiding his calls because I know he wants to start things up again.
And you dont want that, right?
Right. Dont worry. Im through with Chris. Im through with men. Im going to be just fine. She gave a generous piece of pie to her sister. Does Jonas want any?
No. Hes pretty tired and besides, hes a gem about leaving us girls to talk.
Hes pretty great to you. Rebecca took two forks from the drawer.
I know. I thank God for him every day. Warm and loving and totally devoted to her husbandthat was Danielle. You didnt answer my question, you know.
Sorry. Ive just got a lot on my mind. And there it was, what shed been trying not to think about all evening: her mess of a life.
We can talk about it. Maybe I can help. Or maybe we can try to brainstorm. There have got to be some great single men out there that you can date. Danielle carried the milk back to the fridge, and in the wan light from inside the door she looked exceptionally pale and tired.
There had been a lot on her shoulders when Jonas had first been hurt, but now that he was much better, Danielle was back to her old self. Except for tonight.
Forget my problems, she said. I should be asking you if youre okay.
Im fine. Danielle closed the fridge door and waved away her concern.
You dont look like youre getting enough sleep or something. I work until four tomorrow, but I can come by after and help out. Maybe make dinner for you?
Thats great of you, Becca, but its not necessary. She took both glasses to the table. Im just a little tired. Im still adjusting to working full-time is all.
Are you sure? She followed her sister, plates in hand.
Positive. Danielle had taken a management job at their familys bookstore. Finances were thin with Jonas on long-term disability. Do me a favor and dont tell anyone, okay? You know how the family is. No one needs to get all worried about me. Its nothing a little chocolate wont cure.
She knew how that felt. She slipped the plates on the table and took one of the chairs across from her sister. It was nice; she loved Danielles home. There were pictures on the walls and toys clustered in the corners and love that filled each room as unmistakable as air.
This is what shed always wanted for herself. A stable marriage. A warm, loving home. A couple of kids to look after. Shed always just wanted to be a mom. Nothing else. Shed gone to college because her parents had expected it and her grandmother had been so proud of her.
But shed had a hard time deciding on what to really do with her life. All of her friends seemed to knowthey were biology majors, business majors, psych majors. It seemed everyone was so focused, except for her. Now she was through with a graduate degree and she still felt as if she were wandering through life.
Letting Chris go had meant letting go of her dreams. It had been the right thing to do. Absolutely. But just because shed given her worries and her wishes up to God didnt mean she now knew what to do with her life in the meantime. Her future was one blank slate. She was afraid that she would spend too many years alone, wishing for what she did not have. Worse, she didnt know what to do with her life now, without those dreams.
You look pretty serious, Danielle said around a bite of pie. Want to talk about it?
Yes. No. Too personal. Rebecca took a bit of creamy pie so she didnt have to answer. She wanted to tell Dani about meeting Chad, but if she did, then her sister would so get the wrong idea. Best to keep quiet. It was strange how just thinking about him, about how calm and steady he seemed and how kind his eyes, made her feel better.
Well, maybe he was one of the good guys, she thought, and how nice would that be? It was always helpful to have a decent, nice guy living next door. Hed been a definite knight in shining armor. You never know, she might need that again sometime. Or, better yet, she might be able to return the favor.
She took a sip of milk. I so dont want to talk about my problems. Tell me how your evening went.
It was wonderful. Danielle lit up. Jonas and I had the best time. We went to the museum and looked at dinosaurs.
Didnt you two take the kids there about a month ago?
Yes. And the kids got to see everything while Jonas and I were watching the kids. Dani laughed happily. Jonas remembered that every time I wanted to stop and look at something, Madison had a tantrum, bless her. She was simply so excited by the displays and the people. Oh, and she had been wearing her newest mermaid princess outfit. I had my hands full trying to keep up with her and keeping her in a good mood.
So Jonas took you back on a date night. Rebecca couldnt help sighing. Jonas was definitely one of the good guys, too. See, in the long run, the women in her family had a good history of finding the right kind of men, the kind you could count on. Maybe she wouldnt always have to have a No Man policy. Maybe one day far down the road, when her heart was ready to trust again, God would find someone for her. She had to hope that she wasnt marked by her early years, or the painful, bad relationship with Chris.
Have faith, she told herself and took another bite of pie. The chocolate had helped. By the time she pulled into her driveway, she was totally feeling better.
There was a small shadow sitting on her lit front porch. She squinted into the twilight shadows and stopped the car. Why, it looked as if someone had laid a stick in front of her door. No, not a stick. She left the engine idling and stepped into the warm evening winds. A dowel.
A handwritten note was taped to it, bold script on a ripped piece of notebook paper. To keep you safe and sound.
She grimaced inwardly. How was she going to keep from liking him now? Chad Lawson was definitely one of the good guys.
It was morning, and Chad had a long list of things to get done for the day. He pondered that list as he folded the top of the cereal box and stuck it in the cupboard. Sure, he had practical things to get done, like showing up for the first day of his new job on time. Run a few errands on the way home from work. But he had one less-than-practical item on that list, and that was to find out more about his lovely neighbor, Rebecca McKaslin.
Ephraim would know. Chad grabbed the carton out of the fridge. Whatever he did, he had to bring her up casually, otherwise his esteemed roommate would leap to conclusionspremature ones. He poured milk over his breakfast cereal. He had learned to be cautious in relationships. It was best to start off slow. Whatever he did, he had to act as though gorgeous, nice-looking Rebecca was no big deal.
He was just curious. That was all. Nothing wrong with that, right? He closed the milks top and returned it to the refrigerator, not quite sure what he was feeling. Definite curiosity, he decided as he shut the door and went digging through the nearest drawer for a spoonhe was in luck. There was one clean one left.
He shoveled cereal into his mouth, leaning with his back against the counter. Rebecca. What would she think about him if she knew his truths? Would she be understanding? Or would she do her best to avoid him?
The shame of his past mistakes still stung, and it was a harsh sting. There was nothing he could do about that. The past couldnt be changednot even God could manage that. All Chad could do was his best with today. To keep making the right choices, which hed been doing just fine for a long time, now. Living the right way was a lifelong commitment, one he took seriously.
What were the chances that a nice, great girl would see that?
He feared he already knew. Probably close to zilch. He had to try anyway. Asking a few questions wouldnt hurt, right? And he was only curious, that was all. At least, that was his story and he was sticking to it. Hey, Ephraim.
Yo. Ephraim looked up from his morning newspaper. Sunlight streamed through the window onto the secondhand dinette set and winked off his nearly empty glass of orange juice. You need directions to the church?
Nope. I swung by there last night. This morning was the start of his new jobvolunteer all the wayand thats what he ought to be thinking about. But was he?
Nope. Not a chance. Chad chewed and swallowed. How did he best go about sounding casual? I met the girl next door.
Oh, Elle?
Whoever Elle was, she made Ephraim jerk up from his paper. Interesting. Nope. Must be the neighbor on the other side.
Oh, sure. Rebecca. Ephraims attention went back to the business section. She moved in a few months ago. I think shes renting the place from her sister. Thats about all I know. Shes a graduate student, in, ahcant remember what she told me. English, maybe?
Why, you interested? Ephraim turned the page with a newspapery crinkle.
Chad shrugged. Since he valued honesty, silence was the best policy. He polished off his cereal, slurped the dregs of the milk and loaded the bowl and spoon into the dishwasher. Just in time, too, judging by the clock. Im outta here.
Want to swing by for tacos tonight? Ephraims attention hadnt returned to his paper. I highly recommend Mr. Pacos Tacos for their nachos.
See you there around five? Chad grabbed his keys from the counter. His sneakers squeaked on the linoleum as he headed to the door.
Shes got a boyfriend. Ephraims words brought him to a screeching halt.
A boyfriend? Chad pounded back into the kitchen. Hadnt Rebecca said she didnt have one? He distinctly remembered it.
Or, at least she had one.
Yep, that was it. He had to remind himself to act casual. She might have mentioned that.
The guy wasnt so nice. Now I remember. Ephraim folded up his newspaper, as if he were planning to take it to work with him. There was an incident a while back. Her big brotherand Im talking this guy is bigcame and hauled the boyfriend out into the parking lot and held him until the cops came.
You mean, like he tried to hurt her?
I dont know. Maybe. It was a bad scene. Its too bad, too, because shes a nice girl. A great neighbor. Quiet, and I hardly ever see her.
All bonuses to quiet, bookish Ephraim. Chads guts tightened up. He got a bad feeling, and he didnt like it. He loathed guys who thought it was okay to control women. Sure, he knew what it was like to make a mistake, but hed been fifteen at the time and he had been hurt the most. Not that that was justificationhed learned his lesson, hed paid for his crime and he was a different man now. She wasnt hurt, was she?
No, I would have remembered that. Ephraim stood and lifted his briefcase from the floor, where it leaned against the wall already packed for the workday. She didnt deserve that. No one is nicer. My car was in the shop a while back and she let me ride with her to church and even dropped me off at work and school for a few days.
That sounded like his impression of her. Chad juggled the keys in his hand, considering. He didnt dare say more. It was best to go slow on this, get to know her more, figure out if he had a chance at all with her first. Hed had a few hard rejections over the past three years, so it wasnt as if he were going to ask her out or anything. Maybe it was worth getting up his courage to get to know her. Hed pray on it.
Not that he wanted Ephraim, or anyone to know how he felt about things. He headed to the door. Ill see ya tonight.
Sure.
When the garage door chugged open, he was greeted with rain falling from a slate sky. Not the best weather for day camp. As he navigated the short distance to the gray stone church on a pleasant tree-lined street, he sure hoped Pastor Marin had a lot of indoor activities planned or his first day as a counselor would be a challenge. Not that he minded challenges, he thought as he pulled into the lot and into the first available space he came to.
Well, this was it. Rain dappled him as he locked up. The doors to one of the auxiliary buildings behind the church were opened wide to welcome the day campers in out of the weather. He caught sight of two women standing beneath the awning, with clipboards in hand.
One of them, squinting at him in surprise, was his gorgeous next-door neighbor, Rebecca McKaslin.
Chapter Three
Rebecca couldnt believe her eyes. Chad Lawson strode through the gray sheets of rain in the parking lot like a hero through the mist. He seemed untouched by the downpour and unruffled by the wind. Something about him made him appear extraordinary. Simply from seeing him, from having him near, the stress of the morning slid from her shoulders like rain from the roof.
No one, except her family members, had ever made her feel so calm.
Marin, the churchs youth pastor, leaned close, so her voice wouldnt carry. Heres someone I want you to meet, now that youre a free and single woman.
Uh-oh. Why does everyone think I need to start dating?
Because you deserve a great guy to love you, thats why. And speaking of one
Rebecca rolled her eyes. Good grief. Marins newlywed happiness had sadly affected her brain. She loved her pastor, but Marin was looking at relationships through rose-colored glasses. And why wouldnt she? She was blissfully happy. All it took was one look to see it.
Good for her, right? Rebecca firmly denied any wistful feelings. Some people were just especially blessed in the love department. How could they understand someone who wasnt?
Visions of Marins future matchmaking efforts flashed before Rebeccas eyes. Time to do damage control before that could possibly happen. She had to be clear, firm and assertive. Im not interested.
That sounds like a snap decision to me. Maybe you want to think about it. Marin looked so sure about that.
And why wouldnt she be? Any single woman in her right mind would want to think about Chad Lawson. And wasnt that just the problem? She had a No Man policy. It was safer. It was smarter. I refuse to think about it.
You never know, he could be the right man for you.
Yeah, but more likely he isnt. No matter how great he is, because thats my luck. Rebecca rolled her eyes. Just what she needed, her pastor, who was also one of her sisters best friends trying to set her up. Im on a vacation from romance of any kind.
A vacation? Ive never heard of such a thing.
Like you didnt date for a long time?
Yeah, well it was different for me. I wasnt on vacation as much as I couldnt catch anyone. Until my Jeremy came along, of course. Just because you split up with Chris and it didnt end well, that doesnt mean you should rule out dating forever and ever
And this coming from the woman who dubbed the different phases of dating, one of them being, the doom phase.
That was before I met Jeremy.