Kate fought the mad impulse to get roaring drunk and belt out I Am The Walrus.
On the other end of the phone there was a muttered ouch. Patti had probably thumped Delia on the shoulder for insensitivity, much the same way that she did whenever Delia tried to light a cigarette in Pattis home.
So. Tomorrow. Delia cleared her throat. Conjugal visit? Très kinky.
Federal prisons didnt allow that kind of visitation, but Kate didnt comment since Patti was now demanding, What is wrong with you? Her husband has been sent to prison, you idiot. Its not a joking matter.
You think making everything deadly serious is going to cheer her up? Delia rejoined.
While Kates two incongruous best friends quibbled as if Kate werent even on the other end, she stared at her reflection in the vanity against the bedroom wall. Long dark hair, seriously needing a trim and deep conditioning, hung around delicate features pinched with tension. How did I become this woman?
Shed busted her ass to get a degree, leave Texas and start fresh. Shed wanted to become a respected businesswoman with all the trappings of success. Now she was someone who created hushed silences at the club, snickers in her own office and awkward arguments over how to handle her during phone calls from friends. Dammit, Paul.
Rage flared, followed immediately by guilt. Was it petty of her to resent a man already suffering the loss of basic rights and privacies?
Though she worked hard to present a composed demeanor to others, she fluctuated wildly between anger over her husbands screwup and renewed vows to be a more supportive wife. It had been two weeks since the end of his initial no-visitors-allowed period, and shed yet to see him. The minimum security camp in West Virginia might not be Alcatraz, but it was enough to separate Kate from the man she loved. Enough to interrupt not only the life theyd shared but their very lifestyle.
She made a perfectly nice salary, but she wouldnt have attempted mortgage payments on a house in this neighborhood by herself. The cushion of their savings account had been deflated by a luxurious tropical honeymoon that seemed a lifetime ago and mounting legal fees. In addition to being forced to step down as CEO, Paul had forfeited his stock in the company. Their finances had been so altered that the expensive tuition for his childrens prestigious boarding school was no longer feasible. Kate had a week before the kids returned from a visit with their grandparents in Florida. It will be fine, she assured herself, even though she didnt have the energy left to dwell on that tonight.
Dee? Delia! Hey, remember me? The person you called?
It took a moment to get the womans attention. Patti, the homemaker, and Delia, self-described ball breaker, had met through Kate. She was the linchpin of the threesome, but not even her presence kept the other two from occasional spirited bickering. At times it was entertaining, but right now Kate just wanted to go to bed.
Sorry. Delias tone was sheepish, Patti echoing the apology in the background.
I think Im going to turn in, but thanks for checking on me.
Thats what were here for. In that, Delia and Patti were united.
Even though Kate hadnt felt social enough to join them at Delias town house tonight, she appreciated their loyalty. Since federal agents had visited on that fateful Valentines Day, members of Kates social circle had distanced themselves from her and Paul. Not completely, in case he was acquitted, but enough that none of his taint could spill over to them. The same taint Kate had been trying to escape when shed left for collegethe neighborhood shed lived in, her moms disreputable boyfriends, Lornas shrill insistence that Kate could better both their lives if she would only try harder.
Finally Kate had earned a better life for herself through positive visualization and years of hard work. But shed never envisioned a husband in the pokey. What was the current slang for that, anyway? Big house? Joint? Hoosegow seemed outdated.
You sure you want to make the trip alone? Delia asked. I know neither of us is an approved visitor, but maybe Lily Then again, maybe not.
Heavy on the not, Kate agreed silently.
More than once, Kate had wished Lily lived farther away. Kate understood that Heathers parents, who lived in Florida, and younger sister, much closer in Richmond, wanted to stay involved with Heathers children and that the family had been a big part of Pauls life. But it was awkward to step into the new wife role and feel as if the first wifes sister was constantly judging you. Unfavorably. Lily made attempts to be personable, especially if the children were around, but she couldnt quite mask the disdain in her brown eyes, the conviction that Kate was a sorry replacement for the mother Neve and PJ had lost.
Ill be fine by myself.
Well, call one of us tomorrow if you need to talk. Ill be home with my laptop, getting some work done during Ringos tennis tournament. Then hes off to New York on Sunday, so Ill be free all week if you want company. Patti says drive safe.
Kate smiled, suspecting Patti dispensed that advice on an hourly basis now that her sixteen-year-old only child had his license. I will. Good night.
Night. Delia hesitated only for a moment before adding in an uncharacteristically emotional tone, This whole thing sucks. Paul deserved betterdamn witch hunt in a post-Enron climate, if you ask me.
Too bad the courts had taken a different view. As she hung up the phone, Kate wondered idly if persecution of a man should more appropriately be called a warlock hunt.
The most genuine, decent man shed ever knownand a judge wearing a black robe and a sanctimonious expression had pronounced him a criminal. Ironic, considering how many of her moms lovers Kate had suspected were prison-bound. Lorna had a penchant for codependent relationships with destructive men.
This is different. Paul was a good guy whod made a dumb hiring mistake.
During the wedding planning, when Paul had been understandably distracted, hed given someone who had previous dealings with the company a finance position. Some of the mans freelance work the year prior, thanks to a 2002 legislative act, made the employment a criminal conflict of interest. A simple oversight. Then again, CEOs were responsible for the financial welfare of a lot of people and couldnt afford stupid oversights. Though she wanted to be outraged on her husbands behalf, the businesswoman in her knew it had been Pauls responsibility to double-check issues like this one. Its why he was paid the big bucks. Unfortunately, in his preoccupation, hed made one or two other minor errors that the prosecution had painted as signs of impending corruption.
It had all come to light because of a quiet federal investigation of the company Paul had left before Kate met him. Apparently his previous employer had been releasing exaggerated financial reports, inflating their worth and cheating stockholders. Reasoning that Paul likely knew about this fraud before quitting, investigators had widened the scope of their inquiry to Paul himself.
No one cared that hed walked away from a high-paying job because hed started to have unproven suspicions about executive ethics. No one cared that, after losing his first wife when hed expected their marriage to last another thirty or forty years, remarrying had given him a lot to think about besides dotting every i according to increasingly complicated corporate regulations. When you were a chief executive officer, oops was not a satisfactory defense.
Kate sighed, and when the sound fell too heavily in the empty room, she reached for the silver remote in the top drawer of her nightstand. With a press of her finger, a black-and-white movie came to life on the television. How was it she so desperately needed background voices when shed had her own place most of her adult life? It was as illogical as her constantly craving sleep, then being unable to rest once her head hit the pillow. Last night shed tossed and turned until after two in the morning.
Whereas Paul probably couldnt wait for each day to endbringing him closer to the completion of his six-month sentence and a normal life againKate was unsettled by the recent passage of days. Theyll be home soon.
For the past couple of years PJ and Neve had stayed for a few weeks of the summer with their maternal grandparents in Tampa. This years few weeks had stretched into two months. Kate and Paul felt the kids would have a better time at the beach and visiting Epcot than sticking around for their fathers trial. Still, with the new school year starting the last week of August, Neve and PJ would be returning a week from Monday. Was she ready for them? For their questions? Their wariness?
Neither of the kids had ever been overtly hostile to Kate, but she didnt get hugs and Mothers Day cards from them, either. Shed always expected Paul to be the glue that held them together as a family unit. And shed anticipated half of that unit would keep attending school up the coast.
What if they hate me? What if I suck at this?
No. Swinging her feet to the carpet, Kate gave herself a mental pinch. She rarely allowed herself to suck at anything. And negativity was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The kids werent troublemakers and theyd be in school most of the time, leaving her free to do her job as long as she found reliable help for a few hours each afternoon. She didnt expect mothering to be easy, but millions of women worldwide managed it, and shed always been very capable. Plus, she still had a week to prepare. Seeing Paul tomorrow should go a long way toward reassuring herthey already had one month of his sentence behind him. Less than five to go. She could definitely handle single-parenting for under five months.
She padded to the bathroom to brush her teeth, her confidence restored. Kate St. James was a survivor. Nothing life or SEC regulations threw at her could reduce her to being Katherine Brewster again.
Ash, beech and poplar trees wouldnt change colors and hit their peak foliage until mid-October, but beneath the eighty-degree sunshine in the parking lot blew an incongruent breeze that predicted falls arrival next month. Kate smoothed her hair and held her head high, this short walk suddenly more daunting than the entire drive over state lines.
At the sentencing Paul had squeezed her hand and tried to joke there were worse things that could happen over the summer than being sent to camp. Thank God no one on the prosecuting side had heard the remark. Public opinion already held that big-business crooks showed a distinct lack of remorsehence increasingly stiff penalties for comparatively small infractions. But Paul had never set out to be a crook. His flippant remark had been only an attempt to reassure his new wife.
He wouldnt quite make it home for their first anniversary, but he would be back by Valentines Day. Frankly shed be willing to skip that holiday for the rest of their lives. Her bigger concern was Christmas. As much as shed disliked Lorna growing up, Kate would have been startled to lose her. And everyone had adored the much-missed Heather. Had Neve and PJ acclimated yet to holidays without their mother? This year they wouldnt have their father either.
Only me.
A cheery thought to take with her as she walked from her locked car to the interior gated perimeter. Shed already passed through one arm of security to drive onto the grounds. Shed also had to fill out legal paperwork weeks ago simply to apply for the chance to spend a few minutes with her husband. The list of rules and regulations, including clothing restrictions, had made her laugh drily. Did they think she wanted to come in here flashing midriff and extreme cleavage? Classy.
Khaki was also forbidden. Anything that looked too similar to what the prisoners themselves wore was forbidden. But if prison administrators were worried about her blending in, shouldnt her being female help them pick her out of a crowd?
The internal sarcasm threatened to erupt into actual dialogue when a guard patted her down before allowing her to enter. Adolescent modeling auditions that had bordered on exploitative and a few grope-happy dates in her twenties had left her with a distaste for strange men touching her. Even knowing that the young man with the carefully blank expression was just doing his job, Kate flinched, hating him a little for that.
Realizing Paul must suffer the same indignities and worse, she forced a smile for her husbands benefit. In a moment he would be joining her, and she didnt want him to see her discomfort. She stood in the lounge area where they would spend their visit and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Lounge seemed a glorified term for the collection of tables and padded chairs. It somehow resembled a library with no books and a grim color scheme.
Kate! Escorted by a guard, Paul crossed through the security doorway, beaming and still handsome despite the circles under his familiar eyes.
Her own smile wobbled before blossoming into something more genuine. Lord, shed missed him. The brutal realization of how much was actually a relief. Her emotions had been on mute since the trial, as if the feelings were there somewhere in closed-captioning, but shed been too numb to truly experience them.
When Pauls arms went around her, she hugged him tightly, trying to ignore the unpleasant sensation of being watched. The guard sitting in the corner made no effort to downplay his scrutiny of the mostly empty room. Visible security cameras recorded every action.
Paul let go but held her gaze as he said a gruff hello.
They sat a few tables from another inmate and, judging by the two mens similar facial features, his brother. Both men sent Kate appreciative glances. Her stomach flipped queasily, but she squared her shoulders, lifting her chin a notch.
I cant believe youre finally here. Pauls words drew both her attention and guilt.
Finally here. She should have come sooner. Im sorry. Things at work I need to make sure that my job continues tonot that its more important than you.
Katie. Despite the lackluster uniform and worry lines that had deepened since shed seen him last, his patient green eyes twinkled. You dont owe me apologies. You arent the one who did anything wrong.
Should she tell him he hadnt either? They both knew it wasnt true. Hed made mistakes, and sometimes carelessness was criminal. Pretending otherwise would be a lie. Their young marriage wasnt cut out for the strain of dishonesty on top of everything else.
Ive missed you, she told him.
Same goes. He was quiet for a moment. Ive been looking forward to this visit, but theres something I need to discuss with you. Despite the resigned declaration, he hesitated.
Whatever it is, well deal with it. She hadnt run screaming for the hills thus far.
The kids will be getting back next Monday.
She nodded. Eight days. She reminded herself that she could absolutely do this. Now was not the time to dwell on the fact that the only living things that had ever been in her care were some exotic fish that had added color to her condo. Until shed accidentally knocked the heater into the aquarium and electrocuted them all in mere seconds.