Whatever it is, well deal with it. She hadnt run screaming for the hills thus far.
The kids will be getting back next Monday.
She nodded. Eight days. She reminded herself that she could absolutely do this. Now was not the time to dwell on the fact that the only living things that had ever been in her care were some exotic fish that had added color to her condo. Until shed accidentally knocked the heater into the aquarium and electrocuted them all in mere seconds.
I dont want them to come here, Kate. I know theyre on the approved list, but I just cant imagine them in these surroundings. He ran his hands over his face. Havent they been through enough in their young lives without seeing their old man?
Startled by the raw vulnerability in his tone, she rushed to reassure him. Thats completely understandable. Its not as if they havent gone months without seeing you before. Thats practically the norm.
His jaw tightened. What do you mean by that?
Exactly what shed said. Im just agreeing with you, Paul. They dont see us much during school semesters. Maybe writing you letters from home would be less traumatic than visiting you here. Maybe it is best for the three of you to get reacquaintedafterward.
Right. Sorry. He sighed. Guess Im a little defensive when it comes to my parenting choices.
She knew Lily had read him the riot act when hed first sent the kids away, four months after Heathers death. His contention was that he traveled a lot and the school would give them a first-rate education in a place not rife with reminders of their mom. Hed hoped they could heal there, make new friends. Lily had been furious, first losing her sister, then losing her niece and nephew. Hed even let it slip that his sister-in-law had once obliquely threatened in the heat of the moment to pursue custody if he couldnt take care of his own kids, though shed quickly and apologetically taken back the rash comment. Kate certainly couldnt envision Lily and her husband housing two more children when they had four of their own.
After that, the arguing had ceased. But some of the resulting strain had endured.
Now the question of where the kids were educated was moot; Neve and PJ would be returning to Richmond, just as Lily wanted. Withdrawing them from the coming academic year at their private school had devastated Paul. Hed been remorseful enough over the business colleagues hed hurt or could have hurt with neglectful stewardship of the company, but to once again upset the stability of his childrens lives
Looking at the haunted eyes of the man she loved, Kate vowed to be the best stepmother possible. Realistically it was the only thing she could truly do to help Paul. For the next four to five months she was all the parent those children had.
Thank God kids were more resilient than tropical fish.
CHAPTER 2
Normally Lily Foster spent Saturday evenings folding the weeks laundry while watching rented movies with her younger kids and waiting for her older ones to meet curfew. Tonight she was pacing the kitchen that was so much larger, so much tidier, than her own. She hoped Kate didnt mind her using her spare key, but under the circumstances, it had seemed the best idea.
Lily just wished she knew when the other woman would be home from her trip to the prison, but all shed received when shed tried Kates cell phone was an automated voice-mail response. Deciding not to explain the latest turn of events in a message, Lily had come to Pauls house to wait. The kids needed to spend the night in their own beds, not Lilys living room. Now that she was here, though, she felt uncertain and invasive.
If her big sister had lived, this place would have been Lilys second home by now. It sucked that Heather hadnt had more time to enjoy the house theyd bought after Pauls last raise before leaving his former employer to hire on as CEO elsewhere. Heather should have had years, decades, to make this place her own, warm and inviting, to create memories. After the move, shed complained about being tired, but it hadnt slowed down her supermom schedule. When theyd all started to realize she was sick, theyd still been optimistic, not expecting anything as terrifyingly final as a late-stage cancer diagnosis.
The kettle on the stove began working its way toward a full-bodied burble, bags of Earl Grey ready and waiting next to an empty china cup. Lilys mother-in-law was known to say that tea always helped in a crisis. Although Lily suspected tea leaves werent even going to make a dent in her worries about her family tonight, at least puttering around the kitchen gave her a small outlet for nervous energy.
Sometimes she expected the stress to come erupting out of her like steam from a teapot. As of today, her father was back in the hospital because of ongoing heart problems. Lilys mother was a wreck, having never recovered truly from burying her child a few years ago. Please, God, let Dad bounce back from this. For all our sakes. Pauls father had passed away before Neve was even born, but in the past five years the kids had lost both their paternal grandmother and their mother. Now, in a way, the children had lost Paul, too.
But gained a stepmother.
Neve still wouldnt discuss that with her aunt, how she felt about Pauls second marriage. Lily wished she and the children were closer, but it hadnt been easy when she had four of her own to look after and Paul had sent Neve and PJ several states away. His own flesh and blood! When they were traumatized and no doubt needed him the most.
She shook her head, knowing that getting angry over what was past wouldnt help anyone. But the frustration was there, bubbling beneath the surface. After all, she had promised Heather shed look after the kids, take care of them like they were her own.
Paul loves his family, Heather had said, looking both frail and wise in her hospital bed, but he was so busy providing for us, working up to his success. He doesnt know which stuffed animal is PJs favorite or how Neve loves brownies with macadamia nuts but not walnuts or peanuts. Youre a mom, you understand about the important day-to-day details hes missed. Hell need your help, Lil. Promise me youll be there for them.
When shed made the vow, Lily hadnt known her brother-in-law was going to bury his grief in work and ship his kids to the prestigious Newsome Academy, one of the best private schools in the country. Lily had taken the news that Paul was seeing someone again with mixed feelings. Obviously, as his first wifes sister, it was difficult for her to see him with someone who wasnt Heather. Then again, shed known Heather wouldnt have wanted him to live out his years miserable and lonely. So Lily had wished him well and silently hoped that the new woman in his life would help him bridge the ever-growing gap between him and his children. Or at least make him admit that there was one, that parenting wasnt something that could be conveniently scheduled for holidays, summer and Spring Break.
Instead hed picked Kate. Physically flawless übercareer-woman Kate who had no children of her own or previous marriages. Probably because shed been working so hard on that career of hers. Just what the kids neededtwo workaholic parents.
Lily didnt resent the other womans beauty; Heather had been gorgeous in a personable, unaffected, Im-not-afraid-of-laugh-lines way. It was more that Kate was so impeccable in attire, coiffure, mannerisms and composure that it was nearly impossible to relax around her. When theyd all gotten together for Pauls last birthday, one look at Kate had made Lily aware that her hair had started sliding out of its ponytail in the car and that her trousers were sporting evidence of the family cats. Not to mention that Kate had all but admitted that it mystified her why any woman would choose to marry young and immediately have children when she could have gone to college and pursued a career, leaving her and Lily with almost no common ground over which to bond.
Her husband Bobs voice played in her head. Give her a chance, Lil. But this wasnt about Lily and whether or not she wanted to be buddies with the other woman. It was about Neve and PJ and what was best for them.
Lily had no doubt that if you wanted to plan a corporate takeover, Kate St. James was a good person to have on your side. Ditto planning a swanky dinner party and knowing which shoe designer was currently hot. But caring for two wounded children whod already been hurt quite enough?
The teapot shrilled, causing her to jump.
Shed turned off the stove burner and was steeping tea when the automatic garage door raised, a mechanical shudder that vibrated through the kitchen. Kate was home.
Setting her cup on the kitchen island as the door swung open, Lily turned. Hi. Hope my being in your kitchen unannounced didnt startle you.
The car in the driveway tipped me off. Kate smiled, but it didnt warm her gaze. I guess you came over to hear how Paul is doing?
Lily would have called for that, not ambushed Kate in her own home after a long drive. Not exactly. Mostly Im here because of the kids.
Your kids? Sounding confused, Kate settled into the closest kitchen chair.
Pauls kids. Neve and PJ.
Oh. Is there any chance we could talk about this tomorrow? Right now I just want to
Neve and PJ are upstairs.
The way the blood drained from Kates face wasnt exactly endearing. If she was so freaked at the prospect of stepchildren, couldnt she have found a guy who didnt come with a ready-made family? But despite her telltale paleness, the womans expression didnt alter by a single twitch or frown line. Either Kate redefined cool composure or there was BOTOX work in her past.
Feeling bitchy over the thought, Lily did penance by offering her sister-in-law a cup of tea.
Kate shook her head. No, thank you. Just explain why the kids came back early. Are they okay?
Theyre fine. Physically, at least. Lily sat opposite Kate. My father began experiencing bad chest pains early this morning. It might be nothing, but with two past heart attacks, no one wants to take chances. His doctor ordered some medical tests and temporary rest. With all that going on, Mom called me to ask if she could put Neve and PJ on an earlier flight. I picked them up this afternoon. I thought about letting them stay with my brood for the night, but Nevewell, its been a tumultuous year for the kids. She just wanted to come home.
Its been a tumultuous year for everyone, Kate agreed absently.
Yeah, but we have the luxury of being adults and not a confused preteen girl about to turn thirteen who wont have either of her parents there to witness it. Knowing that her husband Bob would patiently cite this as the kind of judgmental observation Lily should keep to herself, she sipped her tea. She understood this past year had been rotten for Kates marriage. But when you were responsible for kids, they had to be your first concern.
Pushing back her chair, Kate rose. If the kids are here, Id better go talk to them.
Well, she gets points for that. PJs asleep already. He was practically snoring before I even turned off his light. Neve, last I knew, was reading in bed. I think its wonderful that you want to talk with her, but aside from popping in to tell her good-night, it might not be a bad idea togive her some space.
Kate arched a brow. I havent seen her since before the trial. How much more space could I possibly give her?
The edge of sarcasm in the womans voice was grating. Im not saying shes logical, Im saying shes nearly thirteen. Having barely survived Brittney at that age, I know how moody they can be.
For the past two years Neve had been polite when she came home, but another female could see the subdued resentment in her clear green eyes. Now, with the introduction of a stepmother and Pauls arrest, Neve had become so surly and withdrawn that even her grandparents were commenting on her behavior. She probably couldnt decide whether she was still angry about being sent to boarding school in the first place or pissed that shed been yanked out of her familiar surroundings. She was likely mad about both, a seeming contradiction that was perfectly reasonable to a girl that age.
I may not have daughters of my own, Kate said stiffly, but I was once a thirteen-year-old girl and am not completely clueless, believe it or not. Look, I appreciate your advice
No, you dont, Lily said without heat. She was standing, too, suddenly aware of her defensive stance. Of course Kate wouldnt appreciate people popping into her house uninvited and unexpected and telling her what to do. Lily wouldnt either. My heart was in the right place, though. Those kids mean the world to me.
Theyreimportant to me, as well. The words came out so awkwardly that it was obvious Kate and the children were in for a bumpy ride. Had the forty-two-year-old career woman ever wanted to be a mother or had she merely made the concession because shed fallen for a man who happened to be a father?
I would be the worst stepmother on the planet, Kate said, if I came home and followed my original planwhich was a long soak in the whirlpool tub and a cold glass of sauvignon blancnow that I know the kids are home. Im not going to insist she open up to me or that we stay up braiding each others hair, but I have to say something to her. Why dont you come, too? Im sure you want to tell her good-night before taking off, and maybe your presence will keep it from being too uncomfortable.
Lily appreciated the compromise, if not the subtle emphasis on taking off. Happy to help in any way I can. It wasnt an empty offer but a vow shed made and planned to keep.
People talked about running away to join the circus, but Neve St. James thought that was a stupid plan. Shed been to the zoo enough times to know elephants stunk royally. And even though she loved horseback riding, stables didnt exactly smell like roses, either. So the reek factor alone was enough to dissuade her from the circus. Unless it was one of those du Soleil things, she mused, staring up at the circle-patterned plaster on her ceiling. Those circuses didnt have animals. Then again, she didnt have any freaky talents like being able to put her feet behind her ears.
She was stuck here.
Her first semester at the Newsome Academy shed missed home so much shed wanted to be curled up in this very room. Now that she was, it just feltodd. What was the point? It had been her mom and dad shed wanted, not the furniture and carpeting. Even knowing it was impossible, shed desperately wanted to be a whole family again. Her dad, however, had wanted a fresh start.
She remembered clearly the night hed shown her the academy brochures, nervous beneath his fake enthusiasm. Look, youd get to ride horses a lot there, Neve.
Like shed be fooled? There were places in Virginia to ride horses, too. Hed insisted that hed miss them, that he wasnt sending them because he didnt want to spend time with them, but the man was a lousy liar. If hed done something criminal at work, there was no wonder hed been caught.
At least he put us in a coed school. All-girl would have been a nightmare.
Though she wouldnt have admitted to her little brother that she found his presence comforting, shed been glad he was at Newsome, too. Besides, if theyd been separated, she would have worried about PJ.