Charles had been wondering about Elvins lack of digits since they first met, but felt too embarrassed to ask. Now Elvin had offered to disclose the fact, he wanted to know and nodded. Elvin held up his pincers and said. I lost these many years ago when I was a stoker in the Royal Navy. They selected me for the Portsmouth *Field gun crew and I spent the next few years shore-based at H.M.S. Nelson in Portsmouth, training for the royal tournament at Earls court. During one training session, while running with a 12-pound gun, the wheels slipped as we tried to lift it over the wall. I made a grave error of judgement and ignored the warnings from me training and grabbed the wheel to stop it slipping. He held up his hands. I trapped me bloody ands underneath and it cut me fingers clean off. Elvin sighed and looked sullen. That was the end of me service career.
He then chuckled and continued, Never mind, it worked out for the best. Pensioned out at thirty-five, I came to Grimsby to look for work on trawlers and met me missus, Anna, and we had three great kids. When they laid me off from the trawlers in the '80s, I built a workshop on a large piece of land at the back of our ouse, which I kitted out with tools and machinery. I started making medical prosfetics, starting with me own little falsies. Then I made prosfetics for the surgical department at the general 'ospital. I turned me little 'obby into a lucrative business. He smiled. The money I saved plus me pensions will last me out.
The four chatted, drank, and apart from Charles, who knew his eardrums would be tortured again, felt excited about the next day.
Charles felt comfortable around these three miscreants and by 10:00 pm, the four old-timers, merrily spannered, staggered back to Fossdyke.
Charles, feeling unsteady, flopped into his armchair. He felt the room spinning so closed his eyes and told Mary about his day, before dozing into a blissful slumber.
-Track Three-
After breakfast, the four hung-over old men went to the recreation room.
Steve, Wayne, Elvin, and Charles sat around the piano while several other residents milled around, knowing they were safe for now as their nemeses were talking and had no instruments.
Wayne opened his briefcase, took out pages of handwritten music, and handed them to Charles, who smiled and looked through the pages. He read the music to one song, which he played, while the others listened.
Steve and Elvin looked impressed, as did Charles as he played the melancholy ballad Wayne had entitled, Vulnerable. Charles finished playing, and they looked at Wayne.
That sounded good mate, said Steve, and looking at the sheet music, asked, Are there any vocals?
Sure, said Wayne, and handed him a separate sheet of paper with lyrics scribbled on it.
Play it again Nobby, said Steve, looking at the words.
Charles played the song again and when Steve picked up the tune, he sang.
Halfway through Charles stopped playing, much to the relief of Elvin and Wayne. Steve was out of key, sung in the wrong tempo, and his gruff voice made the ballad sound like grating sandpaper.
Sorry lads, said Steve, its too slow for me, but I can think of a guitar riff which would go great with this song.
What about the vocals? asked Elvin. I cant sing well and Wayne can hardly hear, so we can't do them.
How about you, Nobby? Steve asked.
Charles told them about his vocal chord problem, so didnt have the voice for classical music or opera. But Ill try, he said and put the sheet with lyrics next to the music on the rack of his piano. He then played and sang Vulnerable.
Charles finished to a stunned silence. The three looked at him, agog.
That sounded different, said Steve.
You sound great Nobby! Elvin exclaimed, You may not have the voice for opera, but it was perfect for this ballad. Yer gravelly tenor twang made you sound a cross between Andrea Bocelli and Joe Cocker.
Outstanding buddy, said Wayne.
Right, lets get our stuff and see what we can do, said Steve, smirking at the other residents, who made a hasty retreat as Wayne, Elvin, and Steve went to get their instruments.
They set up next to Charles, plugged in their instruments, and went to stand around the piano.
Play that song again Nobby, said Steve.
Charles played and sang Vulnerable again.
Once theyd finished, Charles and Wayne discussed how to incorporate electric guitar, double bass and a drumbeat, and Charles jotted down chords and the beat.
They spent the day rehearsing, adjusting, and tweaking the song and carried on after supper, well into the evening.
Steve, Elvin, and Wayne felt a renewed vigour for music thanks to Charles, who tutored and directed them. Vulnerable took shape over the next few days as the four came together.
Charles and Wayne incorporated all their instruments and melodies that Elvin, Steve, and Wayne sang in the song, and by the end of the fourth day, they performed a decent rendition of Vulnerable.
That sounded fantastic lads, said Steve as they finished playing.
I agree, you have all done excellent, said Charles and continued, It is a lovely song, well done Wayne.
Wayne smiled.
Shall we go to the boozer and celebrate? Its only 8 o'clock, said Elvin smiling.
Great idea Chippers, said Steve.
I agree, said Wayne, great idea buddy.
Ill get my hat, said Charles.
Elvin, Steve, and Wayne packed away their instruments and Charles went to fetch his light summer trilby from his room, before heading to the Pavilion.
Dressed in short sleeve shirts and slacks, the four sat on their regular bench outside and chatted.
I fink we have a band, Elvin announced and chuckled.
We have, said Charles. So what are we going to call ourselves?
They pondered for a moment and Steve announced, The Four Old Fogeys from Cleethorpes, he laughed. The Fossdyke Old Fogeys.
Thats a bit of a mouthful, said Elvin.
They laughed and Charles suggested, We are ancient old fossils, so how about, The Fossdyke Fossils?
Considering Charles's suggestion, Elvin said, or just, the Fossils?
They thought about the name.
Although with the The added, it sounded like a throwback to the 60s, said Charles, so suggested. Fossils?
Steve grinned and said, I like it.
The three nodded their agreement and Steve raised his glass. To Fossils, he announced.
The four chinked glasses and repeated aloud.
The three nodded their agreement and Steve raised his glass. To Fossils, he announced.
The four chinked glasses and repeated aloud.
Fossils!
Other customers, thinking the old fellows ruckus was because they just discovered that someone invented multi-coloured incontinence pants, glared at them and went back to their conversations.
Right gentlemen, we have Vulnerable almost cracked, so once we perfect that, we could learn more of Wayne's songs, said Charles.
Ive got one, Steve chuckled and warbled.
Mary, Mary your fannys hairy, your tits are heading south; Ive something here that tastes of beer, so shove it in your m...
Thats enough! shouted Charles, interrupting.
Steve put his hand over his mouth and realising he'd upset Charles, became embarrassed and apologised. Sorry Charles, I forgot your wifes name was Mary. I was only joking, he said and extended his hand.
Charles shook his hand, smirked, and said. So, how did you know her fanny was hairy?
Steve looked into the smiling face of Charles and realised that he wasnt as stuck-up as he seemed as Charles said. It was a fine old bush before it turned grey and wispy, he joked. One time I could have sworn I saw Doctor Livingstone wandering around lost in there.
Wayne, Elvin, and Steve looked shocked and then burst out laughing.
The conversation then turned to the old women of Fossdyke and their pubic hair, or the lack thereof. The four laughed and joked all evening.
They went back to Fossdyke and Charles spoke to wispy fanny Mary before drifting off to sleep.
OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, Fossils rehearsed and played songs from Waynes repertoire. The music varied from ballads and soft rock to up-tempo rock n roll. Charles and Wayne spent time incorporating or changing notes, lyrics, and melodies, to suit the newly formed band. With Charless tenor raspy voice and the other three harmonising, it sounded different from any other music. Their sound was unique.
They practised long hours alone in the recreation room as the old residents scurried out when Steve, Elvin, and Wayne set up their instruments. Mrs Chew was still angry at Lucy Fossdyke's decision to allow them to rehearse again. Fearing that it was still a noisy racket, she kept clear of the recreation room.
The four felt pleased and surprised by how well they came together under Charless tuition.
The next song they tried had no lyrics. Although Wayne had written several versions, he wasnt happy with the results. Charles liked the tune and played the melody several times before a title popped into his head. He and Wayne worked on the lyrics while Elvin and Steve went to the pub.
The following day they rehearsed, Life is Too Short to Be Sad, Wayne and Charles wrote lyrics based on Charless title. Charles added notes and toned down the tempo. The beguiling song had several parts, needing all four to sing in harmony. It also had a solo tenor crescendo in the chorus. It was a soft rock ballad with thought-provoking lyrics, which the four loved.
One evening, after packing away their instruments, and about to go to the Pavilion for their evening libation, Steve said. How about going to The Wellow for a change? They have a band playing tonight.
Charles looked puzzled.
Wellows another pub close by Nobby, but its noisy and full of youngsters, said Wayne, much to Steves amusement.
Why do you care? Youre deaf! shouted Steve.
Not all the time, Wayne replied and smirked
What do you reckon Nobby, it will be a change, said Steve.
Charles looked at Wayne and Elvin, who shrugged.
Why not, said Charles, Perhaps theres a good group on, so we can pick up some tips.
The four walked along the beach road and headed to the Wellow.
The Wellow public house, situated close to the towns small bowling alley, was only a short walk along the beach road from Fossdyke. Although slightly smaller than the Pavilion, it attracted the younger crowd, making it a lot more raucous. The Wellows landlord, a middle-aged man named David Sugden, was an unmarried, stocky individual, with a friendly disposition. Known as Cosmo because he resembled English comedian Benny Hill's character, Cosmo Smallpiece, he had run the successful brewery owned public house for 15 years. Cosmo occasionally did the odd dodgy deal but prided himself on never breaking the law, although hed bent it on occasions.
When Charles, Elvin, Steve, and Wayne arrived at the Wellow, they went around the back to the lounge. It was a warm summer evening and people stood outside in groups holding pints of beer, chatting, and smoking. A sign on the door read: Live tonight - Tony S.
The lounge bustled with people stood chatting, and while Wayne, Charles, and Elvin sat at an empty table, Steve struggled through the crowd to get to the bar and get the drinks.
Eventually being served, he jostled his way back to the other three. They saw the bands equipment set up and waited for them to play.
Only seeing a guitar and electronic equipment, Charles said. It must be just a man with a guitar.
Tony S went on the small stage and fiddled with buttons and knobs on his equipment. The Stevie Wonder tune, I Just Called to Say I Love you played, as Tony S strummed and sang.
Its a bloody Karaoke! Steve shouted above the din.
Not good Karaoke either, said Elvin, it sounds awful.
Wayne just thought, I told you so, and switched off his hearing-aid.
The four sat through the painful set of Tony S and felt relieved when he took a break.
Lets have a beer in the Pavilion, said Elvin. At least we can hear ourselves think, without that bloody awful racket.
Agreed, said Wayne, after switching on his hearing-aid.
They finished their drinks and were about to leave when Steve said. You go on ahead, I will join you later. I just saw somebody I need to have a word with.
Elvin, Charles, and Wayne walked the short distance to the Pavilion and sat outside at their regular spot.
They waited for Steve, who hadnt shown up by 10:00 pm.
He must still be chatting to his mate, said Elvin.
He would probably go back to Fossdyke when he realised the time, said Charles, Wayne and Elvin nodded and the three walked back to Fossdyke.
Steve grinned like a Cheshire cat through breakfast. They went into the recreation room and set up their equipment.
Wayne counted them in and they played, Consider Me Gone, another of Wayne's songs they wanted to try.
After finishing the song, Wayne and Charles got together to iron out the wrinkles, while Elvin and Steve plucked, strummed, and chatted.
Why dont you try an electric bass mate? Steve asked, sounding aloof.
Elvin looked at his beat-up old instrument, shook his head, and said. I like my old double bass. I tried an electric one several years ago. It was easy to play, but I much prefer my old faithful Flores. Elvin then plucked a fast tempo piece and grinned.
How about you Nobby? Steve shouted, interrupting Charles and Waynes train of thought. Can you play something smaller? Wayne has a portable Yamaha keyboard that does everything and has all the bells and whistles.