Lenin spoke pathetically and convincingly. Inessa had no choice but to agree with the opinion of her lover, who passionately proved the truth of his view of the problem, and she obediently, imitating Nadia, said:
Have it your way, genius of evil. Lets go to your bedroom.
To our bedroom, the bedroom of the proletariat, Lenin corrected, and burst out laughing. As soon as we defeat these goose fools, I will issue a decree on free love, let young people walk around our cities in the Nude: everyone will hold their partner by the breast, and she will hold his twig and both will be happy thats what our revolution, my revolution, will give these fools.
And he laughed again, even though Inessa wasnt naked yet.
This wild laughter, called Homeric laughter by Lenins colleagues and followers, chilled Inessas soul, and therefore she was always submissive and silent with her chosen one.
One day, both colleagues, infected with the proletarian disease, went to the mountains, taking Nadia with them as a porter and cook. She carried a huge samovar and a heavy bag of groceries.
Later, outstanding scientists of the Soviet country will explore every path where the foot of the leader, his friend Inessa Armand and the porter Nadezhda Konstantinovna set foot. Hundreds of dissertations will be written on this topic, and"stupid doctors of pseudoscience will fool young people studying at universities in the country: it is Lenin himself, the genius of all mankind, who strolled through the mountains of Switzerland with his beloved wife and a party comrade.
7
The Soviet government came out with a proposal to Finance the installation of monuments on every path where the foot of a genius set foot.
Do you understand, dear comrades? the Swiss mountains are completely different and the greenery is different. This is the Marxist greens. There is a special smell, a special aroma, I was lucky enough to be in those places when I was collecting material for writing a dissertation, one or the other declared
future stupid-ass Professor. There is even the leaves of the alfalfa smell of Marxism.
And the students were supposed to listen with their mouths open and even applaud.
* * *
The October revolution was a success not only because of Lenin, but also because of Germany, which so generously financed the Russian Jacobins, without giving any importance to the national composition of the most ardent revolutionaries. Ironically, it was Lenins heirs who defeated Germany and divided it into two parts; if the Marxists are to be believed, then the CPSU, not the Russian people, won the victory over Hitler. The Russian wine is also viewed the intelligentsia, which, without knowing it, long before the October revolution called Russia to the axe, organized terror throughout the country in the name of one thing: the change of the power of the tsars tosome democratic power. It was the intelligentsia that awakened the poor and destitute to a sense of equality, freedom, fraternity, and prosperity. The intelligentsia, as it were, prepared Russia for a coup, and then paid for it with their lives.
If Lenins brother Alexander and several other terrorists were hanged by the Tsar, then the genius of the Russian people, Lenin, shot and rotted in concentration camps millions of innocent people. As they say: what we fought for, we ran into. Russian patrons also kept up with the intelligentsia, they sponsored terrorists, supported the Leninist terrorist group, and treated revolutionaries as representatives of Russias upper class. They, too, paid with their lives for their clumsiness. In this regard, the October revolution is a perfect example of future coups for the sake of seizing power. And Lenins camarilla pursued one goal to seize power, to replace concrete benches with luxurious chairs in which you can drown in foam.
* * *
During walks in the company of Inessa Armand, the leader showed impatience, he wanted not only to hug and kiss Inessa, but also something inside pushed him to explore strawberries and, without wasting time, sent his wife Nadenka away. She would go without a murmur to investigate where the path led, or to find out what kinds of berries grew in the foothills of a particular peak. At the end of some time, the party comrade, having fulfilled the partys instructions, returned with a report on the work done. And at this time Lenin, having mastered Inessa, shouted: Yes ZDa-minew evolution!
Nadezhda Konstantinovna finally realized that there was another woman in their family, Volodyas new civil wife.
Inessa once asked the leader of the proletariat in a moment of rest after bodily pleasures:
Who are you, what is your nationality? You are so similar to an Asian Jew: wide-cheeked, bow-legged, or rather short-legged, eyes at the moment of excitement a little protruding, red, always angry and aggressive, even in bed, this animal aggression manifests itself. Tell me about yourself. Of course, if you can.
what he is a representative of all Nations, and I have a little bit of Russian blood in my veins, more Jewish, German, Kalmyk, Tatar. As you can see, I am an internationalist. Much of my Jewish blood made me a genius. My mother is Jewish and a little German. Father-Kalmyk. Jews are smart people, they should be given responsible, intelligent work, and Russian fools should work hard with a pick and shovel.
Thats why youre surrounded by Jews. Are you going to make a world revolution with them?
You guessed right. Although I plan to introduce one Georgian to the Central Committee, I think it is Dzhugashvili. Recently, he robbed a Bank in Tiflis and sent three thousand gold pieces to support members of our Central Committee. He practically bought the position. I promised to add more money to the partys cash register.
Its immoral, Inessa said.
Morally, everything that serves the cause of the world revolution, the leader said hotly. I will cut out half of Russia in the name of the victory of the socialist revolution. World revolution. And Russia, the Soviet people, as Bronstein claims, is just the dung of history. We will use it to make an experiment.
You dont like Russia?
I hate her. And, in General, what is morality? Do you know what morality is? Morality is a bourgeois substance and must be eliminated. As soon as the working masses overthrow tsardom in Russia, morality will be finished once and for all.
Well! maybe youre right.
Genius is always right, hack to death is on your nose, sweetie.
8
I have to go to France, where I have children. Ill be back in two months.
Then I will sit down for the work What are the friends of the people and how they fight against the social Democrats. Arrange for the publication of my work of genius in France.
I need money.
Even a million. The working masses actively support their leaders. Dzhugashvili still has to bring a bag of money. Information has already been received. We must Rob the landlords and capitalists and help the working masses. And we, as you know, are representatives of the working masses.
And if your killer Doesnt bring the money, what then?
I will write to my mother, she will share her pension, she has a good pension. If she lives, I will introduce her to the Central Committee of the party for financing the world revolution.
I will write to my mother, she will share her pension, she has a good pension. If she lives, I will introduce her to the Central Committee of the party for financing the world revolution.
Youre not a son.
The revolutionary Inessa did not have time to enjoy the conversation with her brilliant Burr lover, who had already given her a piquant disease, she did not yet know that he, this lover, would send her to the South and there poison her a few years before his death.
Inessa was the first to see a crowd of men and women on the path, carrying large bales on their shoulders, folding chairs, and a folding table.
Mr. Lunin, your order is complete, said the man in front with a bag full of bottles with champagne and cognac. Vee owes two thousand francs. I ask you now.
My party comrade Nadia will pay you off, here she is already coming, not a single mushroom has been found, the fool, goes empty-handed. Hey, comrade Nadia, count out two thousand francs to these morons and take part in preparing a dinner in the mountains of Switzerland. Its just fabulous, isnt it, Inessa? What is syphilis compared to this nature? Rubbish. Now we will have a hearty lunch like proletarians, drink like Russian fools, and begin treatment. I feel able for five more sessions.
Inessa frowned, smiled sourly, and said:
It is commendable that you are such a giant. You are not only a great revolutionary, but also an irreplaceable lover. Im sorry you got it from those damned prostitutes. And as for treatment in bed, not here. Lets wait for night and..the revolutionary Inessa is at your disposal.
At this time, the sheep was already being cut up for shish kebab. Nadyezhda Konstantinovna hovered around her husband, wanting to remind him that she was still a legal spouse and that the table should have not two chairs, but three for the leader, wife and mistress. It was written in her sightless eyes. Lenin did not like his wifes behavior. He narrowed his eyes and ordered:
TovahNadia, go to the revolutionary headquarters. According to my calculations, two revolutionaries are waiting for me there Dzhugashvili and Ter-Petrosyan. More than a week has passed since the expropriation of Tbilisi banks. Tova the search must deliver bales with three hundred thousand gold rubles. We have katast ofically, there is not enough money. Three hundred thousand rubles in gold is several million francs.
Inessa listened with her mouth open. She was once again convinced that her chosen one is a great, wise man. And that, syphilitic, is too insignificant a flaw in comparison with his data as a national leader.
Volodya, I am amazed at your wisdom. A few million francs is so easy to get, only you can do it. I really dont understand where your party comrades were able to get such sums. Did they Rob banks?
No, they took the loot from the people on my personal instructions. Hey, comrade Nadia, invite my associates Kamo and Stalin after you accept their bags of gold rubles. Well treat them. Put a table at a little distance, so that the smoke wont come at us, and so that we can talk to comrade Armand about the revolution in France.
The chiefs order was obeyed. Volodya sat Inessa down opposite, stared at her with his gimlet eyes, and she shuddered and lowered her head.
Well, what are your questions, comrade Inessa?
I have many questions for you, Volodya. Will you give half a million to support the French revolutionaries, to whom I have the honor to belong? I still have five children, and Im not very well dressed myself.
No problem, said Lenin. Not half a million, but a lot more. Ive thought about it before. My mother must also send me a considerable sum. The translation will be here until the tenth.
Mother? you continue to Rob your own mother for your own ends and..going to a brothel? If your colleagues Rob the Russian Treasury and bring you bags of gold, you could help your mother yourself, and even how. No, I think Ill refuse your help.
9
Lenin greeted the last words with laughter, because the mother of this little plyugavenkogo person, was no more than a party comrade. And he robbed her until 1916, that is, until her death. It became a symbol of immorality on her grave.
You are naive, comrade Inessa. My mother also serves the cause of mi ovoi evolution, so she voluntarily gives me the last penny, knowing well that I am the leader of the world revolution. In addition, significant assistance has come from the Russian tycoon, Russian fool Savva Morozov. But, unfortunately, the frost killed herself back in 1905, our fear of expropriation. And rightly so. Morozov had left heirs. His nephew Schmidt also took his own life on our advice, and there were the heiress girls left. Our comrades of Andriani and Taratuta sent me to Russia. They will marry young chickens and thus all the wealth of their father Schmidt will go to the Fund of the party. And I, the leader of the world revolution, am in charge of the partys Fund. So take me for what I am, Im all in front of you, as in the palm of your hand.
How much do you expect to get if you inherit Schmidts estate?
About ten million francs, said the chief proudly. But thats not all. Comrade Gorky also helps us. He has considerable royalties for published works; he shares them with me.
How much do you get for your work of genius?
No ones buying them yet. You see, geniuses are not recognized immediately, but when I free these Russian fools from tsardom, my works will be published in millions of copies. Let them read, study every letter, learn how to live. Fifty, one hundred, two hundred volumes of my works will be collected by this time. They will supersede from counters of shops of all sorts Dostoevsky, Gumilev, Turgenev and Tolstoy even.
You wrote that Tolstoy is a mirror of the Russian revolution, Inessa said. You never know what I wrote about. I, of course, will not forbid Tolstoy, but all the works of Tolstoy are not worth a single page of my work What to do?. I believe that the people themselves will turn away from Tolstoy in the direction of my works of genius. And Dostoevsky has no place in Russian literature. This is a bourgeois writer.
But it is very popular in Europe.
Spit. Europe, like Russia, will become socialist. We will liberate Europe.
I dream of it, too. But today I see: you are a rich revolutionary. See how you turn into a capitalist.
But thats not all. I have in mind Ermakov from Syzran, I approached him with tearful letter about support of the party. I will write to him that the only party that can bring happiness to the Russian people is in distress: there are no funds not only for the publication of the Newspapers Iskra and Pravda, but also for a plate of soup for the leader of the world proletariat-ha ha ha! And it will help. Later, when the revolution is complete and we come to power, I will shoot them all without trial all, all: priests, capitalists, entrepreneurs, landowners, and him, the scoundrel, too. The gallows will be placed in the squares so that these Russian fools will see and honor us, the Bolsheviks.
Volodya, thats enough. Youre a Jacobin, thats not good, Inessa said, and downed her glass of champagne. Lets talk about something else.
About what, comrade Inessa? Lenin asked, sipping an expensive French cognac.
Im suffering from this damned syphilis. You gave me this sore and lets think about how to get rid of it.