It turns out shes an ex-con. Or something like that. Tod doesnt know what she did, but I turned around to look for the reaper and wasnt surprised to realize hed disappeared. I think the temptation to put a couple of the prepubescent punks out of their misery was a little too strong.
Anyway, she definitely wants Nash back, and But before I could finish that thought, the kids descended on the snack bar, and my pity party was swallowed whole by the universal clamor for sugar and caffeine.
I pointed to the other register. You take that one, and Ill cover this one.
Alec nodded, but when the first of the tween mob started shouting orders at him, he stared at his register screen like hed never seen it before.
Great. Awesome time to succumb to culture shock. Hed been fine taking orders twenty minutes earlier, when there was no crowd. Here. Ill take orders, you fill them. I stepped firmly between him and the register and shoved an empty popcorn bucket into his hands.
Alec scowled like hed snap at me, then just nodded and turned toward the popcorn machine without a word.
I took several orders and filled the cups, but when I turned to grab popcorn from Alec, I found him staring at the machine, holding an empty bucket, like hed rather wear it on his head than fill it.
Alec I took the bucket from him and half filled it. This is really not a good time for a breakdown. I squirted butter over the popcorn, then filled it the rest of the way and squirted more butter. You okay?
He frowned again, then nodded stiffly and grabbed another bucket.
I handed popcorn across the counter to the first customer and glanced up to find Emma jogging across the lobby toward me. Hey, Pecker sent me to bail you out, she said, and several sixth graders giggled as she hopped up on the counter and swung her legs around to the business side. She thumped to the floor, and I started to thank heruntil my gaze fell on four more extralarge buckets of popcorn now lined up on the counter.
What the hell?
I turned the register over to Emma and picked up a medium paper bag, stepping close to Alec so the customers wouldnt hear me. Theyre not all ordering extralarge, Alec. You have to look at the ticket. I handed him a ticket for a medium popcorn and a large Coke, then scooped kernels into the bag. Didnt they have tickets in the eighties? Or popcorn?
Alec frowned. This job is petty and pointless. He dropped into a squat to examine the rows of folded bags and stacked buckets.
Um, yeah. I filled another bag in a single scoop. Thats why they give it to students. And forty-five-year-old cultural infants.
Alec had been nineteen when he crossed into the Netherworldthe circumstances of which he still wasnt ready to talk aboutbut hadnt aged a day while he was there.
Whats his problem? Emma asked, as I handed her the medium bag.
Hes just tired. Em didnt know who he really was, because I didnt want her to find out that hed once possessed her body in a desperate attempt to orchestrate his own rescue from the Netherworld. She thought he was a friend of the family, crashing on our couch while he saved up enough money for a place of his own and some online college classes.
When I turned back to Alec, I found him leaning with his palms on the counter, staring at the ground between his feet.
Alec? You okay? I put one hand on his shoulder, and he jumped, then stared at me like Id appeared out of nowhere. He shook his head like he was shaking off sleep, then blinked and looked around the lobby in obvious confusion.
Yeah. Sorry. I didnt get much sleep last night. What were you saying?
I said you have to look at the ticket. You cant just serve everyone an extralarge.
Alec frowned and picked up the ticket on the counter in front of him. I know. Ive been doing this a week now, Kay. I got this.
I grinned at his colloquialism. He only used them on his good days, when he felt like he was fitting into the human world again. And honestly, in spite of his fleeting moments of confusion, some days, Alec seemed to fit into my world much better than I did.
3
THE HALLWAY IS COLD and sterile, and that should be my first clue. School is always cluttered and too warm, but today, cold and sterile makes sense.
3
THE HALLWAY IS COLD and sterile, and that should be my first clue. School is always cluttered and too warm, but today, cold and sterile makes sense.
I walk down the hall with Emma, but I stop when I see them. She doesnt stop. She doesnt notice anything wrong, but when I see them, I cant breathe. My chest feels too heavy. My lungs pull in just enough air to keep me conscious, but not enough to truly satisfy my need for oxygen. Like satisfaction is even a possibility with them standing there like that. In front of my locker, so I cant possibly miss the act.
I cant see her face, because its sucking on his, but I know its her. Its her hair, and her stupid guy-pants that look hot on her the same way his T-shirts probably look hot on her when thats all shes wearing. And I know shes worn his shirts. Hell, shes worn him, and if they werent in the middle of the school, shed probably be wearing him now. She practically is, anyway.
I stop in front of them so they cant ignore me, and she peels herself away and licks her lips, like she cant get enough of the taste of him, and I know thats true. My teeth grind together, and when I glance around, I realize theres a crowd.
Of course theres a crowd. Crowds gather for a show, and this is one hell of a show.
I say his name. I dont want to say it. I dont want to acknowledge him and what hes doing, but I cant stop myself. It wont be real unless he says it, and part of me believes he wont say it. Hell say the right words instead. Hell say hes sorry, and hell look like hes sorry, and hell be sorry for a very long time, but then everything will be okay again.
Instead, he shrugs and glances around at the crowd, grinning at the faces. The faces leer and blur together. I cant tell them apart, but it doesnt matter, because the crowd only has one face. Crowds only ever have one face. Et tu, Brute? Its the mob mentality, and I am Caesar, about to be stabbed.
Or maybe Ive already been stabbed, and Im too stupid to know Im bleeding all over the floor. But I know Im dying inside. Hes killing me.
Sorry, Kay, he says at last, and I hate him for using my nickname. It sounds intimate and friendly, but he just had his tongue in her mouth, and now I want to cut it out of his head. Sorry, he repeats, while my face flames, and my world blurs with tears. She knows what I like. And she delivers
Theyre laughing now, and even though the crowd only has one face, it has many jeering voices. And theyre all laughing at me. Even Emma.
I told you, she says, shaking her head as she tries to hold back a giggle, and I love her for trying, even if, in the end, the laughter cant be denied. Its not her fault. Shes just playing her part, and the lines must be spoken, even if each word burns like an open wound.
I told you it wasnt worth saving. You cant win the game if you wont even play. You have to deliver.
4
I SAT UP IN BED, sweating and cold, my heart beating so hard it practically bruised my sternum. I took a deep breath, threw the covers back, and stepped into my Betty Boop slippers, then padded silently down the hall and into the living room, where Alec lay on the couch with the blanket pulled over his head. His exposed feet were propped on the armrest at the opposite end, brown on top, and pale on the bottom. When I walked past him, his toes twitched, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
In the kitchen, I got a glass of water, and I was on my way back across the living room when Alec folded the blanket back from his head and blinked up at me.
Okay, thats starting to get creepy, I said, as he sat up.
What?
You. Lying there awake but covered. I sank into my dads recliner and tucked my feet beneath me. Its like watching a corpse sit up in the morgue.
Sorry. He ran one hand absently over his smooth, dark chest. Twenty-six years in the Netherworld may have scarred him on the inside, but his outside still looked good as new. I cant sleep. Cant get used to the silence.
What, did Avari sing you to sleep in the Netherworld?
Funny. Alec leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, his head sagging on his shoulders. Once you get used to all the screaming at night, its hard to go to sleep without it. Not that I actually slept every night.
Are you serious? The fresh crop of chill bumps on my arms had nothing to do with my bad dream, and everything to do with his living nightmare.
Alec shrugged and sat up to meet my gaze. Hellions dont sleep, so I passed out whenever I got a chance. Whenever Avari was busy with someone else.
I started to explain that I was horrified by the screaming, not by his irregular sleep patterns, then decided I didnt want to know any more about either. So I kept my mouth shut.
What about you? he asked, as I sipped my water.
Bad dream. I set the glass over the existing water ring on the end table.
What about?
My exhale sounded heavy, even to me. I dreamed Nash dumped me for his ex-girlfriend, in front of the whole school, after eating her face in front of my locker.
Literally? Alec frowned, and I realized that where hed spent the past quarter century, literal face eating might have been a real concern.
No. That might actually have been better.
He leaned back on the couch, arms crossed over his bare chest. I thought you dumped him.
I did. Kind of. Nash and I were too complicated for simple explanations, and something told me that would only get worse, with his ex suddenly in the picture.
But now you want him back? Even after what he did?
Alec knew exactly what Avari had done with my body when hed possessed me, because hed been there in the Netherworld with the hellion when it happened. I couldnt blame Nash for what Avari had done, but I couldnt help blaming him for not telling me. And for not even trying to stop it from happening again. And again. And for lying to me about taking Demons Breath. And for using his Influence against me.
Alec knew all of iteven the parts Emma and my dad didnt knowbecause Id needed to talk to someone who knew about things that go bump in the Netherworld, but who wouldnt hate Nash on my behalf before Id decided how I felt about him myself. Alec had been my only option for a confidant. Fortunately, hed turned out to be a good one.