Youre sure Ill be safe? Im not a silly woman, in spite of how I come across, but what Dorothea said really scared me, coming on top of the business with the tires. Shes not given to coming the spooky witch, you know.
When is she in next?
Day after tomorrow. Do you want to see her?
I want to interview her, not have a consultation, I said hastily.
Oh, go on, Gloria urged. Have it on me. You dont have to take it seriously. She opened her bag and took out a pen and one of the postcard-sized portraits of herself she carried everywhere for the fans who otherwise would have had her signing everything from their library books to any available part of their anatomies. Give us your time, date and place of birth. She snapped on the interior light, making me blink hard against the darkness. Come on, sooner you tell me, the sooner you get the light off again.
Oxford, I said. Fourth of September, 1966.
Now why am I not surprised youre a Virgo? Gloria said sarcastically as she turned off the light. Caligula, Jimmy Young, Agatha Christie, Cecil Parkinson, Raine Spencer and you.
Which proves its a load of old socks, I said decisively. A couple of miles down the road, it hit me. How come you can rattle off a list of famous Virgoans?
I married one. Well, not a famous one. And divorced him. I wish Id known Dorothea then. Virgo and Leo? Shed never have let it happen. A recipe for disaster.
Arent you taking a bit of a chance, working with me?
Gloria laughed, that great swooping chuckle that gets the nation grinning when things are going right for Brenda Barrowclough. Workings fine. Nobody grafts harder than a Virgo. You see the detail while I only get the big picture. And you never give up. No, youll do fine for me.
Its funny how often clients forget theyve said that when a case
It was almost one when I walked through my own front door. Both my house and Richards were illuminated only by the dirty orange of the sodium streetlights. Id hoped hed be home; I was suffering from what my best friend Alexis calls NSA Non-Specific Anxiety and my experience of self-medicating has told me the best cure is a cuddle. But it looked like he was doing whatever it is that rock journos do in live music venues in the middle of the night. It probably involved drugs, but Richard never touches anything stronger than joints and these days all the cops do with cannabis is confiscate it for their own use, so I wasnt worried on that score.
I turned on the kitchen light, figuring a mug of hot chocolate might prevent the vague feeling of unease from keeping me awake. I couldnt miss the sheet of paper stuck under a fridge magnet. Babysitting for Alexis + Chris. Staying over. See you tomorrow. Big kisses. I didnt need to be a handwriting expert to know it was from my besotted lover. The only problem was, it wasnt me he was besotted with.
Id know how to fight back if it was a beautiful blonde waving her perfectly rounded calves at him. But how exactly can a woman keep her dignity and compete with a nine-month-old baby girl?
The following day, we were let out to play. Because Northerners traded so heavily on its connection to Manchester, the city of cool, they had to reinforce the link with regular exterior and interior shots of identifiable landmarks. It had led to a profitable spin-off for NPTV, who now ran Northerners tours at weekends. The punters would stay in the very hotel where Pauline Pratt and Gordon Johnstone had consummated their adulterous affair, then theyd be whisked off on a walking tour that took in sites from key episodes. Theyd see the tram line where Diane Grimshaw committed suicide, the alley where Brenda Barrowclough was mugged, the jewelry shop that was robbed while Maureen and Phil Pomeroy were choosing an engagement ring. Theyd have lunch in
To keep that particular gravy train running, the show had to film on the streets of the city at least once a month. That day, they were filming a series of exterior shots at various points along the refurbished Rochdale Canal. According to Gloria, a new producer was determined to stamp his authority on the soap with a series of themed episodes. The linking theme of this particular week was the idea of the waterway providing a range of backdrops, from the sinister to the seriously hip. Gloria had drawn the short straw of an argument with Teddy outside Barca, Mick Hucknalls chic Catalan bistro. On a summer afternoon, it might have been a pleasant diversion. On a bleak December morning, it was about as much fun as sunbathing in Siberia. It took forever to film because trains and trams would keep rattling across the high brick viaducts above our heads when the cameras were rolling.
I couldnt even take refuge in the cast or crew buses, since I needed to keep a close eye on Gloria. In spite of what Id said the night before, I hadnt entirely ruled out the possibility of an obsessive fan who was stalking her. The fact that she spent so much of her time inaccessible might actually fuel his derangement. He could be planning to take action against her only when she was in a public place and in character.
I huddled under the awning of the catering truck where a red-haired giant with a soft Highland accent supervised the pair of young women who were responsible for making sure there was a constant flow of bacon, sausage and/or egg butties for anyone who wanted them. They served me with a steaming carton of scalding coffee, which I held under my chin. Not for long, though. If my nose thawed out too quickly, there was always the possibility of it shearing off from the rest of my face.
I half listened to the conversation in the van behind me. It was a lot more interesting than the script Teddy and Gloria were working their way through. The caterers were discussing that days
He grinned. Close up, he was even more attractive than he was with a steaming array of food between us. His thick red-gold hair was swept back from a high, broad forehead. Eyes the blue of the Windows 95 intro screen sparkled above high cheekbones. He had one of those mouths romantic novelists always describe as cruel, which lets you know the heroines probably going to end up in the guys arms if not his bed. Hiya, he said. Im Ross Grant. I own the location catering company.
The coffee had defrosted my lips enough for me to return his smile. Kate Brannigan. Im
I know who you are, he interrupted, sounding amused. Youre Glorias bodyguard. Dorothea Dawson, the Seer to the Stars, told her she was going to be murdered, and she hired you to protect her.
Youve been watching too much television, I said lightly. People dont lash out the kind of money I cost without having good reason.
Im sorry, he said. I didnt mean to insult your professionalism. Or to take the piss out of Dorothea. Shes been really good to us.
Predicting a sudden rush on bacon butties, you mean?
He gave a sheepish grin. Very funny. No, I mean it. You know how shes always on the telly? Well, shes recommended us to quite a few of the programs shes been on. Weve got a lot of work off the back of it. Shes great, Dorothea. She really understands what its like trying to make a living out of a business where youre constantly dependent on goodwill. So she goes out of her way for folk like us, know what I mean? Not like most of them round here, its self, self, self. Working with people that are so full of themselves, we find it hard to take anything about them seriously.
This time it was my turn to smile. They do lack a certain sense of proportion.
But youre more than just a bodyguard, arent you? Somebody said youre a proper private investigator.
Thats right. In fact, I almost never do this kind of work. But Gloria can be very persuasive.
Dont I know it. This is the woman that had me up all night making petits fours for her granddaughters birthday party. Is she really in danger, then?
I shrugged. Better safe than sorry.
Im sorry to hear that. Shes the best of the bunch. I dont like to think of her in fear of her life. I wasnt asking out of nosiness, he added quickly. I just wondered how long you were going to be tied up working for Gloria.
Why? Are you missing me already?
He went that strange damson-purple that redheads go when they blush. Actually, I wanted to hire you.
Hire me? Suddenly this was a lot more interesting than a mild flirtation to keep the cold out. What for?
I dont know if you know, but Northerners has got a mole. Somebodys been leaking stuff to the press. Not just the usual sordid stuff about peoples love lives and creepy things they did twenty years ago, but storylines as well. All the humor had left him now.
Id heard. John Turpins supposed to be finding out where the leak is.
Yeah, well, Turpins trying to pin it on me or my staff, Ross said bluntly.
Why would he do that?
He inhaled sharply. Because were convenient scapegoats. Our contracts up for renewal at the end of January, and Turpin seems to be determined to ditch me. Knowing that slimy bastard, hes probably in bed with one of the other firms tendering for the contract and he figures if he can blame me for the leaks he can feather his own nest easier.
But why would anybody believe him? I asked.
Ross flicked his cigarette end on to a frozen puddle where it
So how are you supposed to come by the advance storylines? I objected.
Were involved in location filming for the show nearly every week. With them filming four weeks ahead of transmission, its not hard to pick up the direction the stories are heading. The cast are always standing round the food wagon shooting their mouths off about storylines they dont like, or taking the piss out of each other about what their characters are up to. If me or my lassies had a mind to, we could be moles. It would be dead simple. But were not.
How can you be sure?
Well, I know its not me. And I know its not my wife. He gestured towards the open side of the van with his thumb. Shes the one with the red sweatshirt on. And Id put money on it not being Mary, the other lassie, because she owns twenty percent of the business and shes never been a woman who went for the short-term benefit.
I sighed. I sympathize. But its always impossible to prove a negative.