Lord, he missed her. If she didnt move back into the house, hed eventually put it up for sale. Without her there, it just feltwrong. He was grateful beyond words that she wasnt going anywhere at least until summer, but the possibility of losing her after that, of losing his child, was too painful to entertain.
Once home, he wandered through the rooms like a ghost, seeing the things theyd picked out together, trying to recall which pieces had been wedding presents. In their room, he opened the dresser drawer where she stored her summer clothes, skimming his hand over the fabrics, thinking about how pretty shed always looked in the pale green tank top. With ninety percent of her belongings still here, it seemed as if she was just out at the store and would be home any minute, where she belonged.
At the knock on the door, he started. Was it Rach? Maybe there was something she needed to make her more comfortable over at Winnies He dashed through the house at twice the speed hed moved earlier.
Tanner waved at him through the beveled glass in the front door.
David sighed. Hey. Come on in.
I called you at the store, but Arianne said you went home early today.
Had some errands to run, David said vaguely. Want something to drink?
Sure. Ill take a cold beer if youve got one.
David retrieved two bottles from the refrigerator. So, did Ari send you over here?
Tanner looked surprised by the question. She told me you were probably here, but Im not here at her bidding or anything. I swung by on my way home from a clients to beg a favor.
Beg away. Maybe David should try the same approach. Should he grovel to Rachel? His pride balked at the idea, but that didnt matter nearly as much as the prospect of growing old without her. Even now, with the two of them under different roofs, he couldnt truly imagine life without her.
Lilah wants to take a day trip this weekend, go somewhere more exotic than Mistletoe for all her Christmas shopping. Tanner pulled a face, making it clear marathon shopping wasnt his idea of a good time. Misery loves company, right?
David sipped his beer. You want me to come shopping with the two of you?
Well, you and Rachel. We thought the four of us could head toward Atlanta, eat dinner someplace together before coming back. All of our single friends are getting a little sick of the constant wedding chatter. Ill be the first to admit, were nauseating. We thought it would be fun to spend time with another couple who wont hold it against us. What do you say, got plans for the weekend?
David brightened. An entire day in Rachels company? Sounds great.
You heard the part about the all-day shopping, right? No doubt there will be sales and shoes involved.
There are worse things in the world, little brother. David took a deep breath, then pushed away the negative emotions. Winners used positive thinking, no matter what odds they faced. I just have to check with Rachel. Call you tomorrow?
Sure. Youre not kicking me out already, are you? I havent finished the beer.
No, you can stick around. If you want, I could order us a pizza.
Sorry, dude. I have a preexisting offer from someone a lot prettier. Then again Tanner studied him. If you need me to stay, I can call Lilah and cancel.
No, of course not. I was just making the offer to be polite.
Tanner leaned against the counter. Why did you think Arianne sent me over here? Did you two fight or something?
Or something.
Im a little surprised youre not doing the pizza thing with Rachel. He glanced around as if he, too, could feel her absence despite all appearances being normal. I know shes sleeping at Winnies because someone has to stay with the dogs, but she gets dinner breaks, right?
Of course. In fact, Ill call her as soon as you leave. I just thought maybe a night of male bonding before you take your vows
Tanner laughed. Im sure well have plenty of time for that even after. Theres a limit to what my getting married is going to change.
Thats what you think.
David could look back and see lots of big and small ways that Rachel had changed over the years and ways that their relationship had altered-would that hed been paying more attention at the time. Hindsight was painfully clear. What was harder to see, even now, was how hed changed. Rachel had loved him so much once. Had he not been what she expected somehow? He wasnt objective enough to evaluate himself as a husband.
Granted, he probably could have handled Rachels losing the baby better, but hed been mourning, too. As much as shed wanted that child, he doubted he could have said or done anything to make it better. Knowing that had doubled his own grief. He knew that the specter of what had happened before loomed over her now, and he hated like hell that she was alone in the house with three dogs, worrying, when he was two streets over and unable to help. Three dogs. Rembrandt and Bristol werent small. All three of them were excitable-what if one of them forgot his manners and jumped up on Rachel?
If youre about finished, David said, I think I am going to kick you out.
Nothing like brotherly love. All right, Ill get out of your hair. Let me know what Rachel says about holiday shopping this weekend? Just think, Christmas is right around the corner, and then the wedding. Tanners expression was luminous enough to power the entire town.
David assessed the younger man, the rebel whod once seemed as though he might never mature past his angry restlessness. Look at you, all grown up and about to marry a wonderful woman. Im proud of you.
Thanks. Tanners gaze landed on an old souvenir photo-magnet of Rachel and David on the refrigerator. You didnt do so badly for yourself, either.
They each finished their beer, then Tanner set his bottle on the counter. Im leaving before this deteriorates into something truly scary, like hugging.
David shuddered. That would be bad.
After Tanner left, David rifled through the junk drawer in the kitchen, looking for the delivery number for that pizzeria Rachel liked.
The girl who answered confirmed his name and asked, Is this 820 Pine?
Yes, but Id actually like to get this delivered to another address
I HAVE A proposition, he blurted as soon as she opened the door.
Rachel looked heavenward. This cant be good.
Youre such a glass-half-empty person.
Its called being a realist. Her voice was dry but amusement danced in her eyes. It helps offset people like you who occasionally suffer delusions of grandeur.
Well, see there, we balance each other out, he said as he came inside.
He was glad to see that her cheeks had some nice color to them. She looked girlishly comfortable in a pair of pink drawstring pants and a T-shirt, far healthier than she had when hed seen her right after her bout of morning sickness. Hed had so much to think about today that their daybreak encounter seemed like eons ago. Lets try this again. This time, without his good intentions devolving into an argument.
Rachel was waiting expectantly, her arms folded across her chest. Watching her, he couldnt help recalling the doctors question about whether her breasts were sensitiveand Rachels near-blush when shed answered. And how long it had been since hed really touched her. Their spontaneous kiss on Saturday had only whetted his appetite for more.
He should probably stop thinking about that. He should also stop staring at the round, full swell of her breasts beneath the lightweight cotton.
David? You had something you wanted to talk to me about?
Move back home.
What? But-
Not with me, he clarified. Ill stay here.
She walked into the living room, and he followed. He would have liked to sit with her on the couch, but that would put him in maddening proximity to those wonderful curves. He chose a striped wing chair instead.
Its quiet, he noted.
The dogs are out back. She tucked her feet up under her. Either they didnt hear you approach, or theyve just gotten used to you.
I think they like me, he said. Which works out nicely since Im proposing you let me take care of them.
She shook her head, her smile rueful. Youre just not happy without others to look after, are you? It seems irresponsible to dump them on you. I made a promise to Winnie.
That her animals would be in good hands, and they will be. Youd be more comfortable at home, wouldnt you? Sleeping in your own bed. He lightened his tone. Or at least hurling in the privacy of your own bathroom.
Ew.
No offense to Winnie, but her mutts arent the most disciplined in the world. Just look at last week when you tried to walk them and Hildie got away. As soon as he said it, he knew hed made a tactical misstep. Rachel was scowling. Of course, that could have happened to anyone.
Probably not to you, she grumbled.
Never mind. What happened the other morning wasnt really my point, I was just grasping for an example. What about the cat? Isnt there something about pregnant women not being around litter boxes? And what if one of those dogs jumped up on you? Rach. He glanced at her belly, trying to imagine what it would look like as it expanded with their child, wishing he could kiss her right above her belly button. According to Dr. McDermott, everything looks great with the pregnancy. Why take any unnecessary chances, even small ones?
Rachel hesitated, obviously pondering the points hed made. Then she laughed. Does it ever get exhausting, being right all the time? StillI feel weird about swapping places without Winnies permission.
Ill be a model pet-care provider, he swore.
There are five of them, counting the rabbit. The instructions were pretty lengthy.
He smiled, sensing victory. We can talk about it over pizza. Which should be here in about five more minutes.
David! She laughed as she said it, a good sign.
Ive missed your laugh, he told her, knowing he was probably pushing his luck but unable to stop himself. Ive missed seeing you happy.
Ive missed being happy.
He sat forward. And you think you will be without me?
I dont know. I know I wasnt happy with who I became with you. Thats not blame, she added quickly. Not anymore. I was going through a lot and somehow ended up feeling like a second-class citizen. And logical or not, the resentment I was stifling turned me into someone petulant. Someone I dont recognize and dont want to become.