I want to apologize, he said slowly, determined not to repeat this morning when theyd each said whatever popped into their minds and left each other with fresh scars. But it feels disingenuous when Im confused about what Im supposed to be sorry for. A second-class citizen? Thats
What, ridiculous?
Yes. Everyone in Mistletoe knows how much I love you, he insisted. I went out of my way to do things for you.
She ran a hand through her hair. I know. And yet you just proved my point. I tried to share something difficult and personal, something Im not proud of, and your response, no matter how polite, was to tell me why I was wrong.
Thats not what I was doing! You- He broke off, catching himself that time. Hmm.
She laughed, taking pity on him. If youre serious about taking care of the animals, follow me. Ill show you where the rabbit is, and well see if we can convince Arpeggio to come out from under whatever bed shes chosen this time. Winnie said that the cat is still sulking about the puppy and has been fairly antisocial lately.
With the dogs outside, they were able to coax Arpeggio out from under the guest room bed. The tri-color cat hobbled out, its gaze curious but its ears twitching back with suspicion as it approached David. He waited patiently, stretching his hand out and sitting perfectly still until the cat rubbed up against his fingers. Then he began scratching her back in earnest, and the calico started purring.
See? David said softly. Im not so bad.
Rachel sat on the carpet next to him. I cant believe I dont know the answer to this, but did you have pets growing up?
A few hamsters with short life spans, he said. Arianne had one of those beta fish. Dads allergic to cats and Moms allergic to dogs. They had a poodle when they were first married, but I dont really remember her. What about you?
My mom was dead set against pets and I never really thought much about it. But Hildies been growing on me, despite my occasionally wanting to throttle her. Maybe Ill get a dog, Rachel mused.
Maybe Ill get a dog. Ouch. It should have been something theyd done together. Why had he never considered during those long, frustrated months when she had so much love to give but no baby to lavish it upon, that she might appreciate a fuzzy friend who cuddled by her side when she was blue? Instead of just telling her to cheer up or have hope, he could have surprised her with a pet rescued from the local animal shelter. Hed asked himself-and her-what more he could have done, but maybe that was a cop-out. In retrospect, there was probably more he could have tried. Had he truly worked at staying emotionally connected with his wife or had he assumed, because of their vows, that shed always be there?
Till death do us part. A lofty goal, but had he really worked toward it the way he did other aspirations? Hed once coached four-year-olds in the community soccer program, and they were hysterical to watch. They understood the basics, that the ball was supposed to go into the goal, but some of them seemed to think those events would just unfold, as they milled around on the field, not really making the connection between what they wanted to achieve and their own part in making it happen.
Maybe Tanner would be a better husband than David had been. Hed lost Lilah once. Having to win her back helped ensure that he appreciated her worth, knew how miserable hed been without her.
Davids experience might be coming later in life, but he liked to think he was a quick study. Hey, I talked to Tanner earlier. He wanted to ask us a favor.
Does he need something for the wedding?
Actually, no, he wanted to recruit us for some Christmas shopping.
You mean hes looking for help finding Lilah a present?
He wanted to know if wed go with them out of town this weekend for a holiday shopping spree.
The doorbell gonged, startling them both.
Thatll be the pizza. David stood, reaching for the wallet in his jeans pocket. Is it okay that I took care of dinner plans?
In theory, it was high-handed. She smiled up at him. In practice, I am a pregnant woman who didnt entirely realize how hungry she was or how tired she was getting until about ten minutes ago. And here you are, summoning food as if by magic. So youre forgiven. This once.
He grinned over his shoulder as he walked down the stairs. Its a start.
Chapter Ten
Rachel drove to the print shop the next morning feeling surprisingly rejuvenated. Shed dropped off to sleep as soon as David had left, and their dinner together had beenenjoyable. Almost relaxed, as if, with the strain of holding their marriage together lifted, they could just be themselves. In some ways, having the worst happen could be liberating. Theyd agreed that he should take over the pet-sitting, but shed been too tired to switch places with him last night.
Tonight shed go home. She still had mixed feelings about that, but shed cope. She was already dealing with separating from David, the-happy-shock of being pregnant and compiling a mental list of the decisions shed need to start making for herself and the baby. None of it was easy, but it wasnt impossible, either.
Morning, May, she called when she walked into work.
Her boss waved her own hello over a mug of coffee. Miss Popularity! Youve already had two phone calls this morning.
Youre kidding. Who from?
Both from Gina Oster, at the chamber of commerce. Belle showed her some of the recommendations you made for future Christmas brochures, and they want to talk to you about some projects for the spring. May grinned. Youre not thinking of leaving me for greener pastures, are you?
Dont worry. I doubt a chamber the size of ours can afford much green, Rachel said realistically. But I can talk to them about some cheap independent contracting on the side. She found herself really eager to return Ginas call. While Rachel didnt see the chamber as being a career move for her, it was exciting to think about ways she could use her talents to give back to the town. Mistletoe had given her so much.
Well, Ginas in meetings until this afternoon. Thats why she was trying to reach you so early, but if you can help them get organized, I think its a wonderful idea. Youve been such an asset to me.
Rachel was touched by the warm sincerity in the womans voice. Thank you.
Shed spent so much time lately feeling under-utilized in her current career that shed lost sight of how lucky she was. She worked for a nice person she genuinely liked, she didnt have to wear panty hose and she wasnt bogged down in meetings and corporate bureaucracy. And on particularly busy days, she helped balance a workload no person could manage alone.
It shaped up to be one of those days. They printed a last-minute batch of flyers for the Winter Wonderland dance that would go up all over town, farmed out a rush order for some customized baseball caps, then printed and bound a series of booklets for an upcoming business retreat. She thought about the hiking vacation shed taken here, the lodge that was just outside town and more rustic than the popular Mistletoe Inn. The chamber of commerce should do more to play up their appeal as a place to come get away from it allwithout having to go too far for businessmen and even vacationing tourists.
Mistletoe, a great place to bring the family. A great place to raise a family.
Well, youre in a good mood.
She jumped about a foot, then turned to see David. Nonemployees werent allowed behind the counter where all the equipment was kept, but May would have made an exception to wave him back. I thought I was alone. Just me and the forty booklets I promised to assemble by lunch.
David shoved his hands in his pockets. Didnt mean to startle you. In fact, I would have been happy just to stand here and watch.
Watch me collate booklets? Make sure you stick around for the exciting encore of watching paint dry in the storeroom.
He laughed. Dont sell yourself short. Youre way more interesting than paint.
Thanks, I think.
You had a graceful rhythm going, complete with intermittent musical accompaniment. What were you whistling? he asked.
I was whistling? I was justthinking about family.
His gaze went instantly to her tummy then came back up to meet hers. Excited about junior?
Giddy, she agreed. But not just about that. I was sort of counting my blessings.
It wasnt until he looked away that she saw how hurtful her words might be. Was it unseemly to seem so cheerfully content in front of the husband youd recently left? She was content, though. For the first time in a long time, she was starting to believe that shed be all right no matter what. That she could survive disappointments and missteps and pick herself up afterward. It was an empowering realization.
Well, he said quickly. I just came by to get Winnies key.
Right. Her duffel bags were packed and in the trunk of her car. Shed still feel better if she could talk with Winnie about it first, but shore-to-ship communications were spotty at best. She went to her purse and grabbed the bone-shaped key ring. Here you go. If the dogs give you any trouble or you cant find Arpeggio-
With a wicked grin, David cut her off. Ive got it all under control. If I do have any problems, I know where to find you.
She bit the inside of her lip to keep from laughing at the role reversal. Of course youre completely competent. I was just trying to be helpful.
Believe me, I know the feeling. He leaned forward, surprising her with a quick kiss on her cheek. Pick you up Saturday? It really didnt make sense for them to drive separately to Lilahs duplex just to pile into Tanners car once they arrived.
Rachel nodded. Im looking forward to it. She really was, not only to the fun of shopping and laughing with Lilah, but to being in Davids company again soon.
Which meant either she and David were the most mature, well-adjusted couple ever to split or that her romantic feelings for her husband hadnt cooled nearly as much as shed let herself believe.
Believe me, I know the feeling. He leaned forward, surprising her with a quick kiss on her cheek. Pick you up Saturday? It really didnt make sense for them to drive separately to Lilahs duplex just to pile into Tanners car once they arrived.