Weeks ago, shed thought miserably that if she had a chance at taking back small moments in her marriage, shed do it differently. Was her idea of improvement rejecting something hed worked hard on, trying to make herself heard at the expense of his feelings? God, what a pair they were. Or werent.
Winnie would be home this week, and Rachel had no idea how she and David would proceed. They had some decisions to make. Unfortunately that would involve speaking to each other again, if they could trust themselves to have a conversation without yelling this time. Maybe thats why some people went to lawyers in the first place, needing that third party. Lawyers. Her heart hurt at the thought.
At the sudden sound of applause, she barely kept herself from jumping. Belatedly, she turned to see Tanner and Lilah presented as husband and wife.
Shed missed the end of the wedding, too distraught over the end of her own marriage.
ZACHARIAH, wearing a tuxedo that matched both of his sons, clapped David on the arm. Should have known youd be over here.
David jiggled one of the index cards in his hand. Practicing my speech.
Thats what I mean. Zachariah laughed. Instead of dancing with that beautiful wife of yours, youre over here trying to make sure its absolutely perfect. Relax, son, no ones going to grade you on this.
David tried to smile, not quite accomplishing his goal. Luckily his father wasnt looking at him.
The older Waide gestured with his champagne flute toward the dance floor where Tanner and Lilah only had eyes for each other. They look so happy together, dont they? As a parent, thats all you can wish for your kids. He smiled back toward David. I know I wasnt exactly a relaxed or laid-back role model, but when this baby comes, try not to sweat the small stuff. You and Rachel keep loving each other and make sure the little one knows how much hes loved, and the rest will work itself out.
David had always respected his dads opinion, but that sounded like the most ridiculous thing hed ever heard. The rest will work itself out? Right. Witness his own happy home. Someone should warn Lilah and Tanner how much work marriage took. Then again, under the right circumstances, marriages lasted decades, entire lifetimes. That kind of payoff was worth the effort.
I made an effort.
He glanced across the room, saw his mother and Rachel sitting at a table and talking. From his vantage point, he could see that Rachel had kicked off her high heels and was wiggling her toes. In spite of everything else, the sight made him smile.
He and his wife certainly defined effort differently. He thought hed been making an admirable effort putting together that nursery for her. And she thought shed been making an honest effort to improve their relationship by pointing out why she hated that hed done it. He frowned. Did she have a point?
It wouldnt make for the wittiest or sexiest reception toast ever, but marriage required compromise. He could tell himself that hed been working his tail off-trying to pay her more attention, sending her flowers, giving her space while still being persistent in fighting to salvage their marriage-but what had he actually compromised?
The question stumped him. Had Rachel ever asked him to give up anything other than sex on the nights she wasnt in the mood and a few of his more high-handed ways?
Perhaps-that maddening inner voice was back-if youd been a little less high-handed, she would have been in the mood a little more.
David! Arianne snapped her fingers, and he blinked, startled to find his sister standing in front of him, a worried look on her face. Were you even listening to me?
He was getting that a lot from women these days. Sorry. What were you saying?
She pointed to the corner of the room, where tall pieces of white lattice work draped in tulle formed an enclosure around a long table. The wedding cake and grooms cake sat next to each other. Theyre going to cut the cake, but first we do our toasts.
Whats yours?
That I cant imagine why any woman would willingly live with one of my brothers, but that even knowing what pains you and Tanner are, every time I see all that happiness shining from Lilahs face, I getjealous.
He couldnt believe that was actually her maid-of-honor toast, but knowing Arianne, maybe it was.
Anyway, she told him, you go first. If yours is good enough, Ill just add, what he said, and we can get on with the party.
All of the other members of the bridal party were gathered around the table, including Rachel. People naturally shifted so that he could be closer to his wife. Her body brushed his, and his entire system heated with wanting her. He could still clearly remember their own wedding-it had been tormenting all through the ceremony-and how enthusiastically theyd made love throughout their honeymoon. Rachel had lost that enthusiasm in the last year.
Some of that was an understandable side effect of the medications and disappointments, butwas he also to blame? Had David unintentionally made his wife feel unimportant to him, marginalized?
Tanner nudged him with his elbow. Youre up. Bang a glass or something.
David arched an eyebrow. Ive got it under control.
Good, Tanner whispered back. I just want everything to be-
Perfect? David remembered his brother saying the same thing to him a few weeks ago as they shot hoops in their parents driveway. At the time, hed been tempted to dampen his brothers unrealistic hopes, but maybe those hopes were every bit as realistic as what a person was willing to invest. There were no perfect people, but that didnt mean a man and a woman couldnt be perfect for each otheras long as they worked for it. And, more important, worked together.
He held his glass, tapping it lightly with one of the forks hed grabbed from the cake table. Hello. I hope youre all having a wonderful time today- He paused unintentionally, worried about Rachels emotional state. She couldnt possibly be having a wonderful time. Had she been reliving the same memories as him during the ceremony?
On behalf of my brother and his beautiful bride, thank you for joining us to celebrate their union. He waited while good-natured applause and hurrahs erupted across the room. Then he glanced at the index card in his hand, and, meeting Rachels gaze, crumpled the paper.
Her eyebrows rose as he shoved it back in his pocket, but he didnt think anyone else noticed.
I had a speech all written out, full of brotherly advice about what it takes to make a good marriage, but what do I know?
Rachel paled, as if hed suddenly lost his mind and was about to announce to the entire town that his own marriage was a sham.
On behalf of my brother and his beautiful bride, thank you for joining us to celebrate their union. He waited while good-natured applause and hurrahs erupted across the room. Then he glanced at the index card in his hand, and, meeting Rachels gaze, crumpled the paper.
Her eyebrows rose as he shoved it back in his pocket, but he didnt think anyone else noticed.
I had a speech all written out, full of brotherly advice about what it takes to make a good marriage, but what do I know?
Rachel paled, as if hed suddenly lost his mind and was about to announce to the entire town that his own marriage was a sham.
He gave her a bittersweet smile. Because the truth is, marriage is a learning process and the very best person to teach you is your partner. And Im sorry for all the times I made you feel like less than an equal partner, he wanted to tell her. It was difficult to keep his voice even. Tanner and Lilah, you may be surprised at how much you have to learn about each other, stuff you thought you already knew, how even when you think youre getting it right What kind of husband was he? Why had it been more important to explain to Rachel why he was right than just to listen to her explanations about the effect his actions were having on her?
For that matter, what kind of brother was he? Hed trailed off in the middle of what was shaping up to be the worst best mans toast of all time.
Rachel stepped forward, suddenly grabbing his hand and smiling. The beauty of a good relationship is all the new things youll continue to learn about each other and about yourselves. Celebrate those surprises, celebrate your differences and celebrate the ways you learn to work around them to become an even stronger couple. We wish you many, many years of happiness and lots of love. Cheers!
Feeling suddenly overwhelmed in front of all those people, including the one who mattered most to him, and as if he were suffocating behind his bow tie, David barely made it through Ariannes quick, irreverent toast and the resulting laughter before he ducked around the corner of the makeshift wall. The back door was only a few steps beyond, and he slipped outside as surreptitiously as possible, feeling guilty for making an escape. He should have at least stayed long enough to thank Rachel for intervening, bringing his mangled monologue to a graceful close.
Hey, she said quietly from behind him.
Well, here was his chance. Seated on the top concrete stair, he looked over his shoulder. Thank you for saving my butt in there.
She came closer, joining him on the step but leaving a careful gap between them. I was afraid youd be embarrassed that I cut in. Knowing you, you would have regrouped brilliantly all by yourself in another moment or two.
Brilliantly? he scoffed. You must not have been listening.
Oh, I was. She cocked her head, her gaze almost a caress. II think I heard what you were trying to say quite well, actually.
You are definitely the better listener of the two of us. He wanted to reach for her hand but hesitated. Im sorry. Im sorry if it took you yelling or saying goodbye for me to hear you.
Her lower lip trembled, and she bit down on it.
Rach. Dont cry. He pulled her into a hug, his own eyes damp. Please dont cry. Im so sorry.
She glanced up, her eyes round with surprise. Youre crying.
He sniffed, casting about for something to say. It doesnt count unless the tears actually get out of your eyes. Man rules.