Nothing. Girl stuff, she prevaricated, already walking toward the register.
Her stubborn husband, holding his green basket of skim milk and mens deodorant, fell in step with her. Youre embarrassed? Hell, Rach, Ive bought tampons for you before.
That was different.
You know, you should probably put the girl stuff, he said in an exaggerated whisper, in the cart so that no one else thinks youre shoplifting.
No one else saw me with it. But when David chose to pursue something, he was doggedly single-minded. It would be just like him to follow her into the line. She chunked the pregnancy test back into the cart.
His jaw dropped. For a moment, she took satisfaction in having rendered him speechless.
When, he demanded, were you going to tell me?
I dont even know if theres anything to tell. Hence, the test.
His blue eyes shone. You think theres a chance, though?
He looked excited, and it was hard to battle back her own automatic eagerness. A baby! What would it be like to hold a baby of her own? She gave a little jerk of her head. Dont set yourself up for disappointments.
I dont know, she said.
Youd have to be more than a month and a half along. Maybe two? In his enthusiasm, he was getting louder, drawing a few glances. Its been at least that long since-
Hey! Do you mind if we dont have this conversation in the middle of the grocery store?
Good point. Ill follow you to Winnies, he said decisively. Unless you want to come home?
No, she had the memory of too many tests there, too many broken-hearted moments. David, this could be nothing. Its probably nothing. I can call you later. Or we could have lunch? That would give her time to adjust either way.
He stared. Youve got to be joking. After everything we went through to
You mean everything I went through? It was a knee-jerk reaction. She knew it wasnt fair. The physical side effects, and a significant portion of the emotional ones, had been hers to bear, but hed paid his own price for their attempts.
All right, she conceded. Ill wait for you at Winnies.
She barely allowed herself to peek at her rearview mirror on the drive to their subdivision, but she exhaled in relief as she approached Winnies house. David wasnt behind her yet, so she had a few minutes to get her rioting emotions under control. Shed wanted this so badly, for so long, that hope seemed a natural response. But the timing! Divorce in the middle of a pregnancy? There was fear, too, as she relived the pains that had awakened her in the spring, the sight of blood and the sudden, excruciating knowledge that she and David wouldnt be parents by winter after all.
With the back of her hand, she dashed away a few tears. Even from the driveway, she could hear the dogs barking in greeting. It was best not to leave Hildie inside when she got excited. Besides, the dogs would pitch a fit when David showed up, and Rachel could do without the clamor. Her temples were throbbing.
By the time David arrived, shed ushered the dogs into the yard and poured two glasses of tea. It felt strangely formal and a little surreal, her own husband knocking on the front door. She thought briefly of their first date, the way her pulse had jumped when hed knocked on the door of her hotel room. Shed told him when he asked her to dinner that she wouldnt be in town long. Then you should definitely have dinner with me, hed said, undeterred. Its a limited-time opportunity. Hed been so good-looking.
He still was. The difference was that, back then, shed delighted in being swept off her feet with no thought for what would happen once she landed.
In the kitchen, she handed him a glass. Sorry its so sweet. I wasnt expecting you when I brewed it. David liked his iced tea with barely enough sugar to still call himself a Southerner.
Thank you. He studied her face as if searching for clues. Was he trying to decide if she looked pregnant?
Or there might be some soda left in the fridge, she said nervously.
Rach, I didnt come over for the drink.
She gripped the back of a kitchen chair. I know that. Im just
Anxious? He smiled gently.
Petrified. You? In this candid moment in an acquaintances kitchen, Rachel felt closer to him than she had during the past three months in their own house. An unspoken truce sheltered them as they teetered on the edge of discovery.
Im not sure, he admitted.
She returned his smile. David Waide is unsure of something? The David Waide?
Yeah, well, well call that big surprise number two of the morning. He glanced pointedly at the white plastic grocery bag on the counter.
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. You know that if it turns outif it had turned out positive, I never would have kept it from you. There didnt seem like anything to tell yet. I was still-
I get it. He set his untouched drink on the table. So.
Right. The moment of truth. Why dont you, uh, have a seat, and Ill be right back?
Okay. He swallowed. Rach
She looked back over her shoulder.
I dont know. I feel like I should say something. He flashed a wan smile. Good luck?
A semihysterical laugh burbled out of her. Once upon a time, the only thing shed ever worried about before a test was whether her parents would be satisfied with an A, in case she fell short of an A-plus.
Okay. He swallowed. Rach
She looked back over her shoulder.
I dont know. I feel like I should say something. He flashed a wan smile. Good luck?
A semihysterical laugh burbled out of her. Once upon a time, the only thing shed ever worried about before a test was whether her parents would be satisfied with an A, in case she fell short of an A-plus.
She thoroughly read the instructions, even though shed done this before. After completing the necessary tasks, she decided to rejoin David. Even with the strain between them, she didnt want to wait by herself for the next three minutes. He was pacing restlessly, but halted when he saw her. The question burned bright in his eyes.
Were supposed to wait now, she explained.
Oh. How long?
She glanced at the clock on the microwave. Probably two more minutes.
Ah. He resumed pacing.
Thats not helping my nerves, she said without hostility.
Actually, its not doing much to calm mine, either. He stopped in midlap, on the opposite side of the kitchen island from her.
Winnies floor plan was so similar to theirs that Rachel could easily envision her own copper-bottom pots hanging above them, could practically hear the ticking of the cuckoo clock theyd bought during a weekend getaway in Helen, Georgia.
Finding yourself on a blind date with a first cousin was probably less awkward than this. Hows the store doing? she asked.
Good. You know we hired Chloe to do a Web site? Weve already filled our first out-of-state orders. He sounded understandably proud. The supply store had been in the family for generations, and it was still improving and growing. All the Waides were involved to some extent, even Tanner, who ran an independent bookkeeping business.
Had David planned on raising their own child to take a hand in the business?
She considered the hypothetical. If it were up to her, shed encourage the kid to go see more of the world before deciding to settle here. Mistletoe was a lovely community but insulated. Set in its ways. If you didnt already have an idea of who you were and what you wanted, you might not figure it out here. Instead, you fell into a role other people defined for you. David had put in a good word for her and shed easily snagged the job with May before their wedding, but shed never intended to be there five years later. First enjoying the reduced workload and life as a newlywed, later focused on trying to start a family, shed let her career aspirations fall away. Now there was a distinctly empty place in her life.
Shed made major decisions at a time when she was upset about her fathers health and uncertain about her own future-moving here, abandoning her careermarrying David. The result was that shed leaned too much on him and the people shed met in Mistletoe, too much on their hopes of having a baby. David had seemed to her as chivalrous as a medieval knight rescuing a damsel in distress. He wasnt to blame for her realization that she didnt want to be that damsel. He showed his love by coddling, and she was tired of being smothered. He expressed affection by anticipating her needs, and she was tired of someone making decisions for her. Whenever shed gently tried to protest, hed been confused and shed felt ungrateful. Wouldnt he be better off with someone who fully appreciated his gallantry?
David cleared his throat. Its been two minutes. Do you want me to wait here? There was that underlying uncertainty in his voice again; it touched her in a way his overbearing confidence never could.
Why dont you come with me? she offered.
Together, they padded silently down the hall. Outside the bathroom, David reached for her hand. She didnt pull away.
But she did jerk to a stop inches shy of the threshold. I cant look. You do it.
You sure?
She just couldnt. Given the timing, it would probably be for the best if she werent pregnant, but emotionally, she couldnt face another negative response. Im sure. Its sitting next to the sink.
Closing her eyes, she waited an interminable heartbeat of time, heard him suck in his breath.
Oh my God. His words were a reverent whisper.
Youre kidding! She knew hed never joke about this. Still, maybe hed misread the test, orLet me see.
He moved aside, letting out an earsplitting whoop even as she viewed the proof for herself. Were pregnant!
Her knees trembled at the sight of the pink plus sign. Im pregnant?
Im pregnant! She was carrying Davids baby. Tears welled in her eyes. Before she could classify them as happy crying or something more bittersweet, David pulled her into his strong arms.
And kissed her.
It caught Rachel totally off guard since shed anticipated a hug of support or mutual joy. But he lowered his dark head, his intent registering a fraction of a second before his lips brushed hers. Hunger ignited deep inside her, flaring an excitement through her body that was startling in its force. After all, shed kissed this man hundreds of times, the last dozen of which had felt rather obligatory.
This, though. Even knowing it was a mistake, she couldnt help parting her mouth, tangling her arms around him and leaning into his warmth. He stroked his tongue against hers, drew back and sucked lightly at her bottom lip. A moan rippled through her. Her already unsteady legs threatened to give out from under her.