Margaret Mary of Dublin,
I am Irish and I am stubborn and I am sorry. I know this is nothing but a lousy excuse, but please try to understand. Family has never given me anything but pain and suffering.
But I have the feeling you would have been different. I dont know what changed my mind, whether it was the fall on my head (long story) or the fact that I woke up alone this morning and knew Id done that to myself (another long story).
So Margaret Mary of Dublin, am I too late?
Ty Patrick OGrady, your brother.
Leaning back in his chair, Ty looked out of his great big picture window at the San Gabriel Mountains. What a glorious view this huge house gave him.
This huge, empty house.
When had that happened? When had the house become too big, too quiet? There had been a time when thats all hed wanted, his own space and quiet.
But now, he neededmore. What, exactly, he wasnt certain.
But definitely, things were missing. And, if he was admitting such things, people.
He was missing people.
NICOLE MANAGED, with a good amount of swearing and disgust, to get herself ready for the engagement party that night. She also managed to avoid Taylor and her bag of makeup and hair stuff by staying late at work, because nylons, a fancy dress, mascara and a dab of gloss was as good as she was going to give.
The party was taking place at Ryans house, which Suzanne was moving in to. The moment Nicole walked in, she was assaulted by the scent of delicious food-thank God-and music and laughter.
And hugs. Everyone wanted to hug her. Suzanne. Taylor. Ryan. She pushed away Suzanne and Taylor because they were hooting and hollering at her in the dress, and let Ryan in for a good long hug.
Hey, thats my almost-husband, Suzanne protested when Ryan, tall, dark and gorgeous, hugged Nicole back.
Just being sisterly, Nicole said, and gave Ryan a smacking kiss on the lips, enjoying Suzannes hiss and Taylors laugh.
Then another man walked up to them. He was tall, dark and gorgeous too, more so, if that was even possible, with sharp blue eyes, a sometime-Irish accent and attitude to match hers.
Hey, she said, a little defiantly, but damn it, she suddenly feltconspicuous.
That Tys gaze nearly gobbled her up from head to toe and all the spots in between didnt help. Hey, yourself, he said.
Suzanne pulled Taylor and Ryan away with a completely obvious and annoying wink.
Leaving her alone with Ty. Unable to stand still, she shifted on the stupid heels, nibbled off her gloss. Before she could stop herself, she tugged at the hem of her dress. Damn, she felt stupid. Exposed.
Ty stepped closer, and she shifted again, feeling the need to smack him. Kiss him. If only she was dressed in jeans.
Then Ty put a hand on her waist and squeezed gently. You steal my heart.
Ah, hell. When he said shit like that, her heart just tipped right on its side. Stop it.
Its true. Youre amazing.
A pair of heels and a ridiculous dress make me amazing?
No, your heart makes you amazing, he said softly, and stroked her jaw. You got all dressed up for Suzanne. You love her.
I knew shed have good food.
He shook his head. Play tough if you need to, I see right through you.
Yeah. He did, he saw right through her.
Terrifying.
NICOLES PLAN was to stay busy at work. That way she didnt have to think about Ty. The way hed looked so good at the engagement party shed wanted to gobble him up whole. The way hed whispered those hot, sexy words in her ear as he held her close, which was every moment. The way his intense eyes had promised her the world even as he let her go home-alone.
She managed to use work to keep her busy for small periods of time, but Ty was proving to be hard to forget. One day the following week she stood studying a patients chart in the nearly deserted nurses station, lost in her own world.
Until Dr. Watts came up behind her. You smell good, he whispered, standing inappropriately close. So close in fact, that the front of his thighs brushed the backs of hers.
Back up, she warned. He had her pinned between the counter and his body, but she was far more pissed than worried. She could drop him to the floor in an instant; she just didnt want the scene that would follow.
Why do you resist me? he asked, his fingers stroking her neck.
She slapped his hand away. Im going to tell you one more time. Keep your paws off me.
Or what?
Or youll be sorry. Now back off.
His soft laughter was her only answer; he still stood in her space. Then he brushed his hips to hers and she saw red.
You feel good- he started to say, but ended on a whoosh of a breath when she plowed her elbow into his belly and stomped on his foot hard enough to drop him to the floor like a log.
Well, then.
With a sigh, she shoved her hair out of her eyes, turned around to face the new male voice, and came face-to-face with Dr. Luke Walker.
Medical chair. The man in charge of just about anything there was to be in charge of, including Dr. Lincoln Watts, writhing on the floor. Problem, Dr. Mann? he asked over Lincs body.
Not any more.
He eyed the man on the floor, then looked her over carefully before he said quietly, You should have come to me sooner, Nicole.
She let out a slow breath. Im fine.
Good, then. Please, consider your shift over.
But-
Not as a punishment. He stepped back as Dr. Watts struggled to his feet. Consider it a small payment for your patience with the system. Dr. Watts, come with me, please.
Linc shot Nicole a look to kill, and she had to turn away to hide her grin. In fact, she grinned all the way to her car, then sang all the way home through South Village traffic, and actually got a great parking spot right out front before she remembered she didnt really want to go home.
She climbed the steps to the building thinking she should have stopped for some take-out, but before she could let herself in, Suzanne was there, smiling at her.
Nicole scrunched her forehead, trying to remember. Did I miss a wedding planning session?
Nope. I just wanted to say hello.
Me, too, you twit. Taylor slung an arm around Suzannes shoulders and looked at Nicole. You ever heard of returning phone calls?
Shed gotten their messages but hadnt had the time to get back to them. Now that she was looking into their relaxed, happy-to-see-her faces, guilt sank in. Why hadnt she made the time? See, this is why I dont do the friendship thing. She unlocked her door and gestured them in. Im terrible at it.
Youre not, youre just busy.
But you do have to remember we exist, Taylor told her. That would be nice.
Im sorry. Work-
Yeah, yeah. Taylor put her hands on her hips and studied the ceiling shed had patched. I dont suppose you even noticed I had this fixed.
In truth, she hadnt. What did that say about her? Besides the fact shed purposely been so busy she hadnt had time to breathe? Um
Rhetorical question, Taylor assured her. Dont hurt yourself.
Look, I have to-
You just got home from work, what could you possibly have to do? Taylor sank into the futon couch in the living room and looked around. You need furniture in a bad way.
Yeah.
Thats a pretty noncommittal yeah. You planning on moving soon? Is that why youve never settled in here?
Ive settled in. I have a bed.
Uh-huh. Taylor lifted an eyebrow. And half your kitchen is still in boxes on the floor.
Thats because Suzanne keeps bringing me food so I havent had to cook. Nicole smiled at Suzanne. Thanks, by the way.
Suzanne smiled back. Should I stop? Would that make you stay? If you had to settle in here?
Stay? But She looked back and forth between them. Im not going anywhere.
You sure about that? Taylor stood, came closer. Because I still have your rental app, which clearly states you havent stayed in one place for longer than a few months. Were coming up on that mark now. Is it nearly time to move on? Youve got a few people who care here, and I can tell its unnerving you. She nodded as she studied Nicole far too closely. Yeah, she murmured. Nearly time to move on, isnt it?
Nicole crossed her arms. So I havent lived in one spot for long, so what? Lots of people suffer from wanderlust and besides, Ive had my job for a good long while, and thats not going to change. Thats got to count as stability.
Suzannes smile was sad. I dont think its really wanderlust affecting you, Nicole. I think its fear of letting people close. I know, because before I met and fell in love with Ryan, I was the same way. Never really let people in.
Nicole turned to Taylor. We have a vow of singlehood, have you forgotten? Im pretty certain that means never letting people in.
It means you dont put a diamond on the ring finger of your left hand. But you sure as hell can do just about everything else, and should. Taylor tipped her head to the side and studied Nicole until she squirmed. You know we love you, right? And I think you feel something for us back.
Well, mostly for Suzanne because she cooks for me, Nicole said, trying to tease past the sudden lump in her throat. She never quite knew what to do with emotion, with easy affection such as she was being offered.
And I know you feel something for Ty-
Actually, what I feel mostly right now is irritation.
Taylor lifted a brow. Are you saying you dont like him?
Well, I-
It was all over your face when he got hurt, Nicole.
Because Im a doctor! I hate to see anyone hurt, including a know-it-all Irishman.
You were beside yourself because it was the know-it-all Irishman, Taylor pointed out. So much so that you even forgot your training. That was huge, you panicking like that. Huge and very unlike you.
You even took a day off, Suzanne so helpfully reminded her. Remember?
How could she forget? Taylor grinned. She discovered soap operas and cheesy old classic reruns. And she allowed herself to feel, to care. Didnt you, Nicole?
What Nicole remembered most was the simple pleasure of that day. Sitting, for a change. And yes, watching TV. But most of all, she remembered the sight of Ty in her bed. Remembered thinking she could get used to that.
Or was it so good you scared yourself? Suzanne asked quietly.
You guys have far too much time to think, you know that? Nicole hugged herself, feelingnaked. Yes, I care. Okay? I care about a lot of stuff.
How about Ty?
Yes, fine, Ty. Should I say it louder? I care for Ty! I care for him a lot. She lowered her voice to a soft sigh. So much that it terrifies me, and diving back into work was all I had. Happy now?