Ty stood in the front doorway, eyes on Nicole, smile grim. Im a lot of things, actually.
Nicole nearly swallowed her tongue. When the hell had he shown up? Ty, I-
I dont have much experience with happy, he continued. But terrified? He pondered that. Definitely. Im definitely terrified, Nicole.
Suzanne put her hand on his arm and gave him a gentle squeeze. It gets easier.
What does?
Why, love of course. She smiled into his shocked face and reached for Taylor. Well just leave the two of you alone-
What does?
Why, love of course. She smiled into his shocked face and reached for Taylor. Well just leave the two of you alone-
No! Nicole softened her voice with effort. Her heart was pounding. Her palms damp. She wanted to start running like hell and never stop. Love? Whod said anything about love? For Gods sake, couldnt one lust for someone without the L-word coming into play? Taylor-
Taylor just laughed at Nicoles face. Oh, sweetie, if you could see your expression. Well, girlfriend, youve been too busy for too long, you never learned to slow down and take it all in. Now its happened without your permission, hasnt it? And you havent a clue what to do with it. Poor baby. She grabbed Nicoles face and gave her a smacking kiss. Good news, Super Girl. Youre smart, youll figure it out.
Okay, maybe Nicole had only recently realized what she was missing in her life. Maybe shed only recently understood that life wasnt all work and no play, but she still hadnt reconciled it all, she still didnt know how to get more for herself, or how to
How to face Ty, the man shed foolishly thought maybe, possibly, hopefully could be the one.
He wasnt the one. He wouldnt ever want to be the one.
And hed heard her shout how she felt about him. God. Talk about humiliation. Taylor-
But they were gone. Leaving her alone with Ty, who was looking at her with an expression she supposed mirrored her own terror. Well. She tried to smile. My day is complete.
He blew out a breath and looked at her. Really looked at her. Something else is wrong, he said.
Besides you being here?
What is it?
Nothing, she muttered, a little cross that he could see through everything and find the lingering unease over the Dr. Watts scene. Its just that work sucked and now-
Did that asshole try something again?
She stared at him, a little shocked by his deep tone of instant rage. For her. Everything is going to be fine in that department.
Sure?
His voice was every bit as low and gravely and sexy as she remembered, and she remembered plenty. Very.
He drew another deep breath as if struggling for patience.
She knew the feeling. So why are you here anyway? she asked, more than a little defensively, crossing her arms.
I have a job here.
Oh, yeah. Now she felt just stupid. Of course he had a job here. What did she think, that hed come to see her? How ridiculous that would be, how-
Ill just get to it, he said, and turned to the door.
Only he slammed it shut while still on the inside, closing them inside the apartment together.
Alone.
11
TY LOOKED at Nicole, who stood there seeming a little confused.
Good, that made two of them.
What are you doing? she asked warily when he came close. I thought you were going to go do what you had to.
I am. He wrapped his hands around her upper arms and hauled her up to her toes so he could get a good look into the face he couldnt seem to stop thinking about.
She gasped. ButI thought you meant work. You had to get to work.
Who said anything about work?
You- I-
There you go stuttering again. He set her down but didnt take his hands off her. Im beginning to think you only do that around me, and you know what? I like it. But lets stick to the subject. I want to set the record straight between us.
Oh. Her face cleared of all expression. She was good at that, hed noticed, but then again, so was he.
I see, she said stiffly.
I doubt it.
No, I do. You regret what happened between us.
Is that what you think? He tipped up her face and saw that was exactly what she thought. Is that why you left my bed?
Dont tell me you wanted to wake up with me. She pulled her chin free of his fingers. I saw the look in your eyes before you fell asleep. Panic, pure and simple.
What you saw was fleeting.
Because you fell asleep. She closed her eyes.
And I didnt blame you for it, so dont worry. Im not the kind of woman a man wants to wake up with.
He swore, then shoved his fingers through his hair and turned in a slow circle, trying to find the words. Nicole, youre exactly the kind of woman a man wants to wake up with. Youre smart, and sexy as hell. Youre amazing. But I was lying there, holding you, still shaking like a leaf, damn it, from the most incredible He let out a disparaging sound, having no idea how to say it. Look, what we shared was different. First of all, Ive never come so hard in my life.
She blushed, her expression one of surprise.
But it wasnt just sex, he said. I know that sounds like a line, but it wasnt. What we shared was a connection, a real one, and yes, damn it, it scared the living daylights out of me.
She was very still. Go on.
Go on. Hell. He licked his suddenly dry lips. I felt closer to you than I have to anyone. Ever.
The fist around her heart, the one that had been there since shed first set eyes on him, loosened slightly. Really?
I felt like you knew me.
A warmth spread through her. I did. I do. Ty, I do.
No. Now he closed his eyes. You dont understand. He turned away, his shoulders stiff. I came from nothing, Nicole. I was nothing.
No, never that. Her heart ached that he pictured himself that way.
You have no idea some of the things I did to survive.
No one would ever blame the child you were, she said fiercely. No one. And you shouldnt either.
I know. Misery radiated off him, so that she was propelled forward, propelled to put her hand on his back. His muscles leapt at her touch.
But Im still that boy deep inside, he admitted. Im still that wanderer. I still feel that need to keep moving. II started to feel that need again.
Now her heart all but stopped as he turned back to look at her.
Youyoure moving on? she asked.
Ive thought about it. Then I heard from my sister and I really thought about it. There was nothing but truth in his eyes, the man whod taught her the one thing no one else had ever managed, how to live outside the box. He was strong and smart and made her smile. He was passionate about work, about life, about everything in between. And unlike anyone before him, he made her feel the same way back.
Itd be so easy, he said. Easy to pick up and go start over. He lifted a shoulder. New York sounded good.
Yeah. She cleared her throat because it was so thick. Hed thought about leaving, walking away. Ty Dont. Dont go.
Reaching out, he ran his fingers over her jaw. Slid them down her throat and cupped the back of her head, tugging her a step closer. Mouth close to hers, his turned down in a grim, unbearably sad smile, he said, But then I met you.
He still looked so utterly intent on going that there was no logical reason why hope suddenly burned through her bright as the sun. And?
Andfor the first time I wanted someone to know about me, know my past. Accept it. We know were different, Nicole. That I-
She stopped him with her mouth on his. She knew his past shamed him. Just as she knew the man he really was, a man with a heart and soul dying for acceptance and love, just like anyone else. He could hold people off with his easy charm and laid-back attitude, but he couldnt hold her off, not for another second.
She stopped him with her mouth on his. She knew his past shamed him. Just as she knew the man he really was, a man with a heart and soul dying for acceptance and love, just like anyone else. He could hold people off with his easy charm and laid-back attitude, but he couldnt hold her off, not for another second.
He tried. Despite her mouth clinging to his, despite her arms wound around his neck, he hadnt touched her, not yet, so she pulled back and held his face in her hands. Please want me, too, Ty, if only half as much as I want you.
Half? He let out a half growl, half laugh. Half. Hell
Its okay, I-
I want you more than my next breath, damn it. His arms came around her hard, lifting her up against him. But youre supposed to know whats good for you. Nicole, youre supposed to send me away. Youre supposed to stay away from me.
I wont. I cant.
Well, then God help the both of us. His mouth came down on hers again, but he shocked her with unexpected tenderness, with an irresistible gentleness, coaxing and nibbling her into a hunger only he could sate.
As if she needed coaxing. After a long, wet, hot kiss, he lifted his head and stared at her. The hunger must have been all over her face because he groaned, and then his mouth slashed across hers again, and this time when they tore apart for air, they stared wild and wide-eyed at each other.
Not here, she said breathlessly, staggering when he pulled back. My bed.
Nicole-
My bed, she repeated, and grabbed his hand, tugging him toward her bedroom before he could come to his senses and say goodbye. She didnt want goodbyes, and she was banking on the hope he didnt really want them either.
It was late and the room was dark. She flipped on the light switch, then hesitated. Maybe she should leave them in the dark, give them some place to hide.
No. No, she thought, turning back to him as she pulled her shirt over her head and watched his gaze flare with unchecked desire. She wanted to see him want her. Wanted to capture that and save it. Store it in a part of her heart to pull out when she needed.
After he was gone.
Nicole-
She wanted to cry at the rough, low voice, tinged with regret. He wasnt going to change his mind, not now, he couldnt. She unbuttoned her jeans and he swallowed hard.
Wait, I- His words broke off into a rough groan when she shoved the jeans down her hips and kicked them free, leaving her in a siren-red lace bra and a sunshine-yellow silk thong. Laundry day, damn it. She never matched for him. But she couldnt worry about that now. To make sure he saw her, all of her, she turned in a slow circle, running her hands down her own body.