You just wait. She twirled again and executed some sort of ballet movement that had his eyes crossing as he tried to follow her. Youre going to love being here so much, she said, breathless now, that you wont want to ever leave us.
Damn. Emmie-
Gotta get the dinner started. Catch ya in a few!
And she was gone, leaving Ben blinking in her dust.
He was doing the right thing, he assured himself as he sank to the bed. Though he felt like he was suffocating here, he was doing the right thing.
He would not do as hed been doing for years. He would not run and lose himself in some jungle. Or in some guerilla skirmish. Or in some forsaken desert somewhere. His camera and his need to capture the good photo, the story would have to wait this time.
He slipped his hand into his pocket, bringing out a copy of the second letter hed received from Asada, which had been farther down in his stack of mail back in the South American jungle.
The authorities had the original, another fastidiously clean piece of stationary with precise folds and meticulous handwriting. In contrast to the pristine paper, the text was enough to make him feel sick: Dear Ben, Just as you have ruined my life, I will ruin yours. Your most faithful enemy, Manuel Asada.
The South American authorities were on Bens side completely. Asada had escaped, and this wasnt only an embarrassment, but a huge threat. If they didnt find him, it was only a matter of time before hed set up another charity scam or kill without conscience to protect his business.
Or come here to exact revengeif he hadnt already. Ben felt a terrible, agonizing certainty Asada had somehow caused Rachels accident.
It wouldnt happen again. Yes, eventually, Ben would have to explain the regular police drive-bys to Rachel and Emily, but now that hed seen Rachel and the extent of her injuries, he was more convinced than ever she shouldnt know until she was stronger.
Besides, how did one explain to his daughter and the woman who hated him that hed inadvertently put their lives on the line? That there was a madman out to get them? It would make Rachel all the more dependent on him, something shed hate with every fiber of her being.
Right or wrong, he had to wait. And if in the meantime, it put more pressure on him to protect them, to be something hed never been able to be in Rachels eyes, then so be it. It was nothing less than he deserved for bringing them this danger in the first place.
BEN FOUND RACHEL right where hed left her, sitting in her chair in the spacious living room, facing the huge set of windows. That damn ugly cap was still in place, hiding her hair from him. Her right arm and leg were in air casts. He knew that her ribs were cracked and that sitting there for so long must be torture. But he knew also that it had to be painful to shift positions.
She should have looked ridiculous. Miserable. At the very least, pathetic.
Instead, she looked as beautiful as ever. Maybe more so. Despite the fading bruises, her face was aristocratic, her skin smooth. Her body, what little he could see of it, was still long and sleek, and still made him yearn.
Instead, she looked as beautiful as ever. Maybe more so. Despite the fading bruises, her face was aristocratic, her skin smooth. Her body, what little he could see of it, was still long and sleek, and still made him yearn.
He could vividly remember a long-ago night when theyd sat in a hidden-away spot in the botanical gardens behind city hall. Rachels long blond hair rippling over his arm, that lithe, soft body spread beneath his in the grass, her huge, melting eyes filled with heat and fear and hope as she gave herself for the first time, to him. His first time, too, and in spite of the fact their birth control had failed them-the condom broke-that night still stood unrivaled to anything hed experienced since.
She didnt acknowledge him as he moved into the living room, and he wanted her to. What happened to the person who hit you? he asked.
They never found him.
He sucked in a breath. Oh yeah, Asada had done it.
Emily could be next.
Bens stomach quivered as he mentally added this to the long list of things hed screwed up. Are you good for anything, Benny boy? No. No, he wasnt.
Unaware of his personal hell, Rachel stared down at her hands, her words coming out slowly. Id almost rather it be a hit-and-run than someone whod just made a terrible mistake. Thisthis torture of mine wouldnt be erased by destroying someone elses life as well.
That Rachel had once nearly destroyed his life didnt escape him. By the time shed finished with him, Ben had felt every bit as battered and bruised as she looked now, except his injuries had been invisible.
Did she really look at him and feel nothing? And why did he care? Did he feel something when he looked at her?
Yes, he could admit, he did. Mostly anger and humiliation. Shed been taught to not express herself, but somehow hed gotten Rachel to open up to him. Itd been like watching a flower bloom, beautiful and arousing. Theyd been two lost souls made into one, yet shed thrown it away with an ease that chilled him even now.
Good, there was more of that anger he needed in order to keep his distance. Hed just see her comfortable, then go make some calls regarding her accident and then stay away from her until he could leave. But when he stepped closer, took in her grim expression, her pale face, the way her good hand clasped her casted one, he was filled with alarm to see her trembling with the effort to remain upright. Hey, lets get you get into bed.
She didnt respond, which made him feel like an unwelcome slug. Not a new feeling for him, but it bugged him nevertheless. He put himself in her line of vision and reached out for the cap that shaded her eyes from him.
Dont. Coming to life, she struggled to lift her arm, holding the ugly thing in place.
I want to see your eyes. Liar. You wanted to see if her hair was as glorious and thick and curly as it used to be.
Why? She flashed those eyes up at him now, wide and furious and full of pride as she stubbornly held on to the cap.
At least the temper was a hell of an improvement over the sadness and vulnerability. Not that he really cared. Shed fixed that for him a long time ago. He was simply here to make sure he didnt bring his personal hell down on her.
L-leave the cap.
I want to see the real you, what youre thinking.
Im thinking I wish you could leave.
He couldnt help it; he laughed. It was that, or lose it entirely. Go away, Benny. Go away, Ben. Go away I just remembered one of the things I used to admire most about you, he muttered. Stubborn as a bull. He rose, moved behind her and grabbed her chair. Nothings changed. Lets go.
When he would have shifted her chair forward, she set her good hand on the wheel. No.
Afraid to hurt her fingers, Ben stilled. Im taking you to your room where youll lie down and rest, damn it. Youre so tired youre shaking. You have black circles under your eyes, you havent been eating near enough and-
Youre my nurse, not my mother.
He looked down at the top of her head. Well, since we both know what a peachy job your mother did, lets leave her out of this.
How dare you throw my past in my face! You, of all people.
Oh, he dared, and shed riled him good now. Their past was exactly what had brought them here together. Their past often kept him up at night with flashes of remembered heat and passion.
Their past was one of the emotional highlights in his life, pathetic as that was to admit.
Torn between being infuriated and turned on at the same time, he let loose. And as your nurse, I say take off the stupid hat. Before she could react, he whisked it off her head.
And froze.
Her soft, flowing hair wasgone, leaving a short, choppy cut of maybe an inch or so. Then there was the three-inch long jagged surgery scar behind her left ear that made him want to throw up. Rachel. My God, he whispered, horrified at the extent of what shed been through. Clasping the ridiculous hat to his chest, he turned the chair so he could look into her face, prepared to hate himself for reducing her to tears.
But hed forgotten, Rachel would never allow him to do such thing to her. Crying in public would be unacceptable. Crying in front of him would be tantamount to a disaster.
Instead, regal as ever, she remained utterly calm, her head high. Eyes bright, she sent him a fiery look. I h-hate you.
Oh, yeah, he believed it. He even deserved it, more than she knew. Gently, he put the cap back on her head, his fingers brushing over the warm, smooth skin of her neck. Im sorry.
Go away.
Rachel-
No! Dont even look at me.
Her fair skin had reddened furiously, and he realized they absolutely were not on the same plane, that she apparently thought the sight of her had sickened him. No, wait. God. Rachel- He dragged in a deep, ragged breath. Look, my horror is for what youve been through, not for what you look like. You look
Stunning was all he could think, staring into her wide, lovely eyes. Brave and lovely and desirable. But shed never believe that. Alive. Rachel, you look alive. Isnt that all that matters?
She didnt say a word, but her chest rose and fell with her agitated breathing, and being nothing less than a very weak man, his eyes caught there, mesmerized by the surprisingly lush twin mounds of her breasts.
You mean ugly, she whispered.
A sound escaped his throat before he could control it. No. Thats most definitely not what I mean. He drew another deep breath and shook his head to clear it. Youre wrong, very wrong.
Just go away.
As those were hauntingly familiar words, he swore softly beneath his breath, fought with the demons that urged him to do just that, then placed his hands on her chair. Were out of here.
To where? she asked, panic laced in her voice.
To where I should have taken you when I first got here. Bed.
FROM EMILYS PERCH on the open loft, lying flat on her belly next to the top of the spiral staircase, with only her eyes peering over the side, she watched her parents and bit her lip. This was not quite the joyful reunion shed imagined. But she was no longer a child. She knew life sometimes sucked. And yetshe could fix this. She could. If her mom and dad werent happy to see each other, shed just make them happy. How hard could it be?