It was just a stupid accident, he said, leaning his head back. He studied the ceiling. One that could have cost me much more than wounded pride.
She doubted it was only his pride hurting, but remained silent because she was certain she knew where this was going. Her heart started a heavy drumming in anticipation.
Im sitting here thinking that if Id gotten myself killed, he said, where would that leave Sara? He lifted his head and stared at her. The thought terrifies me.
Such emotion, such incredible love and perseverance. And if shed never gone away, she could have had it from him, as well. But she had gone, and in doing so had cost him just about everything. Your family? she asked hoarsely.
Its complicated, but theyre not in the picture.
She knew that, but had hoped beyond hope that it had been a terrible mistake, that his family hadnt really been able to turn their backs on him and Sara. The way she had.
Guilt swamped her. Guilt and a regret so strong she could hardly speak. Im sorry, Stone.
Youre alone, too, so I know you understand what its like to worry about the future.
She let out a harsh laugh. Yeah, well, you dont know the half of it. He just looked at her steadily. Well, maybe you do.
My tamily disowned me, not because I got a girl pregnant, but because they didnt approve of her as a person. Doesnt matter that I wanted to do the right thing, they still walked away from us. I was twenty then. Its been ten years and they havent spoken to me since.
Oh, Stone.
It never fails to amaze me how they can keep Sara out of their lives.
Oh, Stone.
It never fails to amaze me how they can keep Sara out of their lives.
How awful of them. She touched him because she bad to. And unforgiving.
They made their decision, and I made mine. Im not sorry for that, but for Sara. Sadness welled in those gray blue depths. Sadness and anger. But Ive been selfish, he admitted. Hoarding her. I should have pushed my family to change their mind. For her sake.
She remembered his family. Wealthy snobs. She doubted they could be pushed to do anything. But as she looked at Stone, saw his grit and determination, she realized if anyone could change their minds, it would be him. Its not too late, Stone.
In a sweet gesture that tugged at her already aching heart, he lifted her hands to his lips, kissed her knuckles. What is it about you? he wondered. What is it that makes me want to bare my soul? That makes me want to get to know yours? He played with her skin, using his teeth, making her shiver.
Ah Difficult to think with his mouth on her. Maybe its the fact Ive thrown myself at you several times now? She managed a feeble smile, feeling self-conscious and very unsure.
Its more than that and you know it. Again that deep probing stare. You feel it, too, or you wouldnt have done all this. You wouldnt have allowed me close. Youre a very private woman. You wouldnt have chosen this building, even if it had been the only one available, unless you wanted to be near me.
His directness was startling, and somehow, despite her embarrassment, refreshing. She did feel it, in a way she hadnt expected. How long had it been since shed had someone to care about? Yes, she admitted in a barely audible voice. I wanted to be near you. But Im Jenna, she wanted to cry. I ruined your life once and Im so afraid you wont let me back in when I tell you the truth.
She had to tell him.
The phone rang, and she nearly screamed in frustration.
Stone sighed. I have to get it. It might be Sara. But hold that thought. He tried to rise and groaned, paling as he sank back into the chair.
Wanting to throw the phone out the window, Jenna whirled and searched for it. Now that shed determined once and for all to come clean, the delay was killing her.
Got it, she muttered, handing the phone over, preparing to leave the room to give him privacy. The shock on his face held her captive.
What is it? She asked when hed hung up. Stone?
He didnt answer, and fear and horror slammed into her. Sara? she demanded hoarsely. Is it Sara?
No. No, he said quickly. Not Sara. Its my brother, Richard. Dropping his hands to the arms of the chair, he attempted to rise, although he almost blacked out while domg it.
She set him gently back into the chair, which was a good thing because his heart was roaring in his ears, his pulse was racing, his vision was gray around the edges.
At her stricken look, he managed to say, He was killed this morning. In a car accident. My father had his lawyer make the call.
Oh, Stone-
Richards dead. Squeezing his eyes shut, he set his head in his hands. Christ. Grief and shock struck him at once, a bone-numbing sort of feeling where his body wouldnt work but his mind whirled.
Richard, he thought, as fury and sadness nearly choked him. Gone. Theyd let so much time go by, empty years without talking. Why hadnt he tried harder, even though Richard had made it so clear he wanted nothing to do with him?
Im so sorry, Cindy whispered, still hunkered between his spread legs, which were now trembling in spite of the fact she was holding him. What can I do to help, Stone? Anything, just tell me.
He hardly heard her, for he realized his worst nightmare was coming true.
Hed nearly gotten himself killed this morning, and just that quickly, Sara would have been an orphan. She had little enough family as it was; he was duty bound to let her know the rest of them.
Yet already, it was too late.
She never knew her mother. Now she would never know her uncle.
Life was short, and if he wanted to think about enjoying it ever again, he had to take care of Saras future. Now. Before something happened to the rest of it.
Stone? Cindys hands slid up his thighs, rested on his waist. Let me help somehow. Please.
He looked at her through the bleakness of his own misery. Hold me, he requested thickly, not waiting for her, but yanking her close. Hold me and dont let go.
Jenna met Kristen that night in Kristens condo, which was everything Jenna had expected.
Perfect.
They were seated in the country kitchen, eating at a cute little oak table, surrounded by cream and pale blue accessories that Kristen had made. Cows and chickens and adorable little pigs animated the napkins. Jenna used a finger to wipe at a drop of tea shed spilled on the bare wood. Glancing up with a horrified expression, she waited for Kristen to admonish her.
Her sister smiled easily, looking not even a little annoyed. Physically she hadnt changed much in the years since Jenna had last seen her. She was still beautiful. Her hair was still that light blond that Jennas had been as a child, and curled down to her shoulders. She was curvy and lush where Jenna was not, and that age-old green monster reared its head, surprising Jenna.
But for the first time, it was a nice envious feeling, not a stomach-eating one, and it made her feel good. Or it would have if she hadnt spilled her tea like a clumsy oaf.
Great tea, isnt it? Kristen asked.
Sorry about the drop here. I-
It doesnt matter, Jenna. But Kristen looked as if something did matter, and Jenna felt like a stupid clumsy child.
They stared at each other awkwardly.
Kristen inhaled sharply, looked at a point somewhere over Jennas head and said, I just need to come out with it. We cant go on until I tell you.
Not sure she wanted to hear, Jenna lifted her chin and prepared to be kicked out.
I think you should know that I sued Stone for custody of your daughter.
What?
Kristen smiled faintly and rubbed her temples. It was years ago, right afterMom died. Youd been gone only a short time and Id just turned twenty-one. I God, I missed you, Jenna. And I wanted to make sure Sara was taken care of. At that point she was all I had left.
But Floored, Jenna just stared at Kristen, trying to imagine how her sister had felt. And, good God, Stone. How had he felt about this final betrayal? What happened? she asked hoarsely.
Stone fought me tooth and nail. Kristen gave a ghost of a smile, obviously still nervous revealing what she had done. He won of course. And in a way I did, too. She smiled at a very stunned Jenna. I realized through the course of the proceedings how much Stone loved that child, which had been my greatest fear. Sara was, still is, Im sure, the most important thing in his life. Knowing that, seeing it firsthand, wellId changed my mind about wanting to take her away from him long before the verdict came in.
Jenna had so many emotions swimming through her, she could hardly think. God, Kristen.
Theres more. Kristen hesitated, and Jenna saw to her amazement that her sure confident sister was fighting tears. Afterward, Stone offered me visits of Sara whenever I wanted them. Stricken with the memory, Kristen shoved her hair back and let out a watery sigh. Can you believe it? I had tried to destroy him more than hed already been destroyed, and he was that generous.
Why didnt you stay in touch?
I couldnt, Kristen whispered, shaking her head. After what I had tried to pull, I was so ashamed. And he had his family
No, he didnt Jenna moaned and covered her face. They disowned him when they found out I was pregnant. Hes been alone with her all this time. I cant believe how long I stayed away. I regret that so much, its all I can think about. Oh, Kristen the things Ive done.
Weve done, Kristen corrected her, then spoke firmly. And its not too late for you. You could go to him-
Jenna laughed, a high hysterical laugh that she had to cover her mouth to stop. Youre not the only one with a confession to make.
She told Kristen of what shed done, how shed come back to town and was now Cindy Beatty.
You have to tell him the truth, Kristen insisted.
How exactly do you suggest I do that? Jenna asked desperately. Ive lied by omission. Weve become friends. Friends, Kristen, and oh, my God, that means so much to me, Im tempted to lie forever.
You cant.
I know, I know. I cant because I want Sara to know the truth. I want her in my life. But how do I tell him Ive deceived him yet again? And now, knowing your past and his, hell think its just another attempt to get Sara away from him.
Kristens shoulders sagged. Both women slumped, defeated.