Okay, Winbut what if you dont manage to locate the mother after going through all that?
She frowned, suddenly aware that she was clenching and unclenching her hands-and that Justin was watching her. Thats not an issue. Its early days yet. Believe me, Ill find the mother. Ive done it before.
But what if you dont? Justin righted the baby walker again, and this time, it seemed to push along without lurching like a drunken sailor. He set it aside, heaved to his feet and shook his legs as if to shake out the kinks-but his eyes never left her face.
Well, then, there are other possibilities. A girl in trouble is the most logical choice for the mother. And frankly, Im about as qualified as anyone in this county to find that kind of girl. For some blasted reason, her fingers were trying to clench into fists again. She folded her arms across her chest, aggravated that she couldnt seem to control the nervous movements. It wasnt like her.
I know you are, Win. Justins voice was low, caring. You know what its like for a kid to be abandoned. I was never surprised when you aimed to work with juveniles when you decided to be a cop. But you cant possibly find the parents every time theres a problem with a child.
Well, no, of course not. And as far as Angelpossibly her mother is a married mother with an abusive husband-or that kind of story-which means that she isnt likely to show up on any record. In fact, someone like that can be almost impossible to trace. And another possibility
What?
another possibility is the kind of girl whos kept a pregnancy hidden for nine months. It seems impossible, but we all know that it happens-youve heard those stories surface on the news every once in a while. This one, though, had to do more than just hide the pregnancy, because the babys already a couple months old. But the problem is the same. There has to be a record of something for us to be able to trace it. And if someone is absolutely determined to keep a pregnancy secret-and has some enablers somehow, someway-we really may never know who the mother is.
Okay. So weve covered most of the possible scenarios, good and bad. But in the meantime, whats supposed to happen to our miniature princess here, while youre going through all those record searches and waiting?
Instinctively her hand shot to her stomach, as if to quell the sudden churning going on in her tummy. Normally she could eat red-hot chili, follow it up with an O.D.-size hot fudge sundae, and never have a digestive problem. But all day, shed been thinking about what was supposed to happen to Angel nextand making herself sick every time she let those fears surface. Well, the court usually places her in foster care, through Social Services. Like I already told you.
Instinctively her hand shot to her stomach, as if to quell the sudden churning going on in her tummy. Normally she could eat red-hot chili, follow it up with an O.D.-size hot fudge sundae, and never have a digestive problem. But all day, shed been thinking about what was supposed to happen to Angel nextand making herself sick every time she let those fears surface. Well, the court usually places her in foster care, through Social Services. Like I already told you.
I know what you told me, Win, Justin said gently. Thats why Im asking you for the details. So I can understand the situation better.
Again she pressed hard on her stomach, then met his eyes. Potentially, down the road, shes adoptable. Shes a young baby, healthy, and though its not fair, her being blond and blue-eyed makes her extra desirable in the adoption market. But for that to happen, we have to find the parents-and find that they deliberately abandoned her, really dont want her and will legally sign off. Or we could find that the parents are dead. But otherwise
Yeah. Its that otherwise that happened to you, wasnt it? Justin had been standing, but now he plunked down on the couch next to her. His gaze prowled her face with the quiet, determined intent of a hunter. You were in the foster-care system from the time you were six, right? But there was something about how you couldnt be adopted. I remember the families and neighbors talking when the Gerards brought you home. I just dont remember the details.
There werent a lot of details. It was pretty cut-and-dried. She glared at him, not in anger, but in self-defense. At twenty-eight years old, it was about damn time she quit letting this past-history crap bother her. I wasnt adoptable because my mother was alive and could have come back for me at any time. So I was basically stuck in the foster-care system until I was eighteen.
You never mentioned your mom before. Or anything about what you remember from when you were real little.
She shrugged, but she could feel an old, aching sense of haunting from the inside out. My parents story was older than time. They were two young kids, hot in love-too hot to keep a lid on their hormones. When my mom got pregnant, they both dropped out of school. Two sixteen-year-old idiots with no money and no job skills-undoubtedly thinking they could live on sex and love. The fun part didnt last long. My dad died, some kind of car accident. I have no memory of him at all. But I was with my mom until I was six.
And thats when she took off.
She shifted restlessly, not meaning to move closer to Justin. She just never liked talking about feelings or the past. I keep thinking one of these days I could find her. I still run a search every once in a while. But the point is, back then, she couldnt handle me. I certainly didnt realize it then-but I do now. She was in trouble in every way a woman can be in trouble. Alone, broke, a small child to take care of, thinking a little drug here and a little alcohol there would take the edge off the worry, no skills, getting more desperate with every loser she took up with.
Justin fell silent for a moment. Winwhy didnt you ever mention any of this before?
Because theres nothing to say. I work with girls like her every day-girls in trouble because theyve gotten over their heads, made one mistake and watched the rest of their lives fall down like a stack of dominos. The only thing my mom ever really did wrong was fall in love-or should I say, fall in lust-too young. Cripes, Justin, you know all this-
He shook his head. No, actually, I didnt. I remember my mom talking to my dad. I knew youd been abandoned when you were a kid. And that your mom had left you with a note, that shed be back for you as soon as she wasnt so broke, something like that. And I remember the Gerards being furious-
That made her blink. The Gerards were furious? About what?
He lifted a hand. I was seventeen, Win. I wasnt listening that much to neighborhood stories. But there was some story about when Sissy Gerard first saw youI dont know what foster family you were with, but it was at a county fair, something like that. Something about the way the family treated you that infuriated her. She came home, told Paget that he was hiring a lawyer and they were getting you away from those people and bringing you home-and that it was going to be your last home until you were grown.
I didnt know that. I didnt remember any of it, either, Winona admitted. I just remember the Gerards. Sissy and Pagets faces in this sterile Social Services office. She just wrapped her arms around me as if shed known me forever. God. They are such good people.
Yeah, they are. Justin scratched his chin, his eyes suddenly lightening up. And you were a pistol and a half back then. Clawed anybody who was nice to you. Spit at all the boys. Fought on the playground-
She had to grin. Hey, you dog, whose side are you on?
Yours. Always yours. His tone turned so quiet that she had to quit chuckling and suddenly looked at him. Really looked. But he was already talking again. So this baby is going into foster care? In fact, pretty immediately?
No. The single syllable was out before she could stop it. Whats this No? Isnt that what you pretty much told me happens to an abandoned child?
The baby has to go somewhere-a place thats honored by Social Services and the court-until something is determined about her parents. Whether theyre around and fit, or whatever. And that place is usually foster care. But if the foster-care system is crowded-and right now its disastrously crowded-then someone else can be assigned temporary guardianship, if they fit the criteria.
Win.
What?
His voice wasnt a whisper, but melted butter couldnt have been softer. You dont want to give her up, do you?
I dont want her going in foster care. Lost in the foster-care system, like I was. Her own voice came out fierce and sharp. She couldnt seem to help it. I fell for her the minute I laid eyes on her. I admit it. And I admit thats stupid. A good cop never gets emotionally involved. But whoever left her on my doorstep, Justin, must have known me somehow. Its hard to pretend that doesnt matter. It does, to me. I just want to know that if she goes back to her parents, theyre in a position to take good care of her. And until then
You want to keep her.
I dont want her in foster care, she repeated. A thousand memories were in her head. She didnt have the words for any of them. She only knew that they added up to one thing. She didnt want-she refused to think about-this baby living the childhood she had, flip-flopped between homes and people who neither wanted her nor had room or time for her. But damnation. Somehow, totally unlike her, she could suddenly feel so much emotion welling that her eyes were actually stinging. It was ridiculous. She never lost control like that-not with Justin, never with Justin.
Obviously she had to find an immediate way to lighten things up. She forced a grin-her infamous snappy grin-and cocked an eyebrow at him. Considering all the times hed joked about marrying her, this should be a guaranteed way to get a laugh out of him. Normally, the court wouldnt consider a single working woman to be a good bet for that temporary guardianship business. You wouldnt like to marry me, would you? It would really up my chances.
Four
Justin felt his heart stop, then start galloping at breakneck pace.
Four
Justin felt his heart stop, then start galloping at breakneck pace.
Winona wasnt really asking to marry him. He realized that. Completely. Marriage had become a ritual tease subject between them, because hed asked her to marry him so many times. Shed always assumed he was joking, so it was perfectly natural that she would joke back with him the same way.