There were still a couple more rows to finish. That was all, but they were long rows. Camille sighed. Truth to tell, shed made two days of headway just this afternoon alone. One advantage to being miserably upset was that shed worked double fast. The disadvantage was the blisters, the backache and the weak left ankle. She shook her hand, as if wind could somehow chase away the fiery hurt, and then spotted Laurel and Hardy loping over the knoll, in their baggy pants and high-class clippers.
Hey, Camille. Sean and Simon spoke with one voice and a matched pair of frowns.
I dont need help today, she said.
Yeah, well, thats what you always say. Simon ignored her. Dont start with us. We had a bad day.
She didnt ask. It wasnt her problem, why the boys were grumpy. It was her problem, trying to figure out why the boys father had climbed in her bedroom window and made love to her until she couldnt see straight.
She had no answer for either question-only four hours worth of blisters to testify that shed tried her best to figure it out.
Killer, the traitor, hustled from boy to boy to be petted and cosseted, as if the damn dog thought it was loved and desired. Sean always spent some time stroking the dog, but invariably it was Simon who baby-talked and really fussed. Today, though, neither spent much time on Killer. They both worked down a row clip-clip-clipping as if they were both suffering from the same sore tooth.
Camille started on the last row, but without bandages on her blisters, even the smallest clip made her wince.
Sean easily caught up with her, from his side of the far row. Dads going to let me get a horse.
I thought hed said absolutely no.
Yeah, well. He changed his mind.
Camille didnt care, but damnation. The last she knew, a horse was the kids most ardent desire, worth fire and brimstone at the very least. Yet now, Sean couldnt seem to come through with a smile to save his life. So thats soon?
Im having a little trouble pinning him down. I know I cant even start looking until schools out. But then, I guess. Anyway, she called last night.
The last sentence was tacked on as if it logically followed. Camille sensed that the most intelligent thing she could do was shut up and not invite trouble, but somehow she had to poke out one more question. Who called?
Mom. The tone was disgusted, furious, the head bent way down. I dont know why Dad didnt pick up the phone. Probably because he doesnt hear it when he buries himself in the study real late. And Gramps-when hes in his room, he cant hear any of the phones anymore.
No?
Sean glanced over to where Simon was working. He talked to her, too. Like we wanted to hear from her, you know? After all this time.
He clipped and pruned, dropping the dead branches in baskets as he went, head still bent as if hiding from a storm.
It was unbelievable. She leaves us, you know? Because we dont matter enough to her to stay. She doesnt care about us. But now she calls, wanting it to be okay. Like sure.
Camille quit pretending to work.
She says, like, she needed space. She says how she felt smothered. She says she was afraid shed have a complete breakdown if she lived in the country another minute, so that was why she left, because she didnt want us exposed to her going crazy. She didnt want to hurt us. You ever heard such bullshit?
Simon, who was supposed to be clipping down at the far end of the row, had mysteriously scooched up to the other side of Seans row. Dont say bullshit in front of Camille, stupid.
Why? She doesnt mind. Shes like us.
I dont mind, Camille agreed.
See. Shes no girl type. Shes like us. Clip-clip. Clip-clip. You know what I told my mom?
No. What?
Its like she wanted us to tell her it was okay. That she just took off on us. Well, its not okay. Sean lifted his face, just for an instant, his eyes aching with fury.
So we told her just what shed told us. Simon tucked his head down now. We told her we needed some space. Like how we felt smothered living with a mother all the time. So she could just have a real great time with her boyfriend, because we didnt need her. And Dad doesnt need her either, or any other woman, too.
Everybody clipped. A cloud chased across the sun, than bared it. Sean said, We were gonna wake Dad and tell him about the call, but we figured he was either working or sleeping, because we didnt hear him behind either door. So we told him this morning.
Everybody clipped. A cloud chased across the sun, than bared it. Sean said, We were gonna wake Dad and tell him about the call, but we figured he was either working or sleeping, because we didnt hear him behind either door. So we told him this morning.
He was pretty mad, Simon said.
Mad at you two?
Sean and Simon both shrugged. He said we should have been nicer. He said, no matter what she did, shes still our mother. He said, that the fact of her calling meant that she was at least trying to say she was sorry. I said that was totally stupid.
I said it was totally stupid, too, Simon affirmed.
Then he got madder. You think that was fair?
Camille gulped. Hey, what are you asking me for? This is between you two and your dad. My opinion isnt worth anything.
It is to us, Sean said. We think Dad should have been on our side. And we dont see one single reason why we should have been nicer. Like what kind of excuse is that about needing space?
Its no excuse at all, Camille agreed.
You dont leave people you love when its tough. Thats when you stay and stick it out. Thats always what Dad said before. Mom just left because she wanted to. Period. She didnt care about us. Thats the way it is.
So why are we supposed to be nice? Sean demanded.
Both of them looked at her, waiting. Camille threw up her hands. Look, you guys. Im the last person in the world you should be asking. I dont claim to have any answers for anyone.
But thats exactly why were asking you. Youre the only one who isnt always telling us what to do. All were asking is what you think, for Petes sake. Sheesh.
Sean sounded so disgusted with her that she felt compelled to at least say something. Wellwhat I thinkis that its about time your mom called and started to try to make amends. And personally, I dont see any problem with you being honest with her. You guys have every reason to feel angry. And you have every right to let her know how you feel. Its up to her to figure out what she wants to do about that.
See, Simon muttered to Sean. I told you Camilled take our side.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Dont be thinking your dad isnt on your side. He just wants you two to take the higher ground. You dont want to do the same thing your mother did, now do you? Run away because something was hard?
Hey, were not running from anything, Simon protested.
Its not like were afraid to talk to her or anything like that, Sean agreed.
Well, good, Camille said. Because I think thats probably what your dads trying to get you to see-that nobodys winning the way it is. Your mom made a big mistake. Nothing she says or does is going to erase that. So maybe you cant forgive her, and maybe you cant accept what shes done, at least right now. But if you cant talk to her-at all-how can it ever get better?
Whats to get better? We dont need her.
We dont need women ever again. Simon said. Except you. We didnt mean to include you with the creeps, Cam, he said warmly.
Yeah, Cam. Sean slapped her companionably on the back, hard enough to make her rock forward. Youre one of us. Wed never lump you with the women. We know we can trust you.
Her heart froze. Shed seen this coming. Petes boys liking her, their wanting to depend on her. They needed to depend on someone-a woman-exactly because of what their mother had done to them. But if she couldnt get her own life together, what kind of role model could she possibly be for them?
And if she couldnt be the kind of role model that they really could trust, she simply had no business embroiling her life any closer with Pete and his family.
Nine
The next morning, Camille carted two armfuls of laundry to the house. Unfortunately, Violet caught her scooping up more dirty clothes from the hamper.
Whats this? Violet said in shock.
Hey. Ive washed clothes a bunch of times since Ive been here. Yours, too.
I know you have. But suddenly youre toting junk to the dump. And youre washing sheets every couple days. And your windows are clean. Could it beyoure starting to feel a little sociable again?
Not willingly. More like, Im working outside so much that everything gets dirty faster.
Ah. So it isnt about a certain guy half living over at the cottage-
Pete is not half living over at the cottage.
Violets eyebrows arched. Did I say Petes name? My, we are defensive. A rusted heap of a truck pulled up in the yard. Vi glanced out, and then hustled outside to greet the visitors.
Judging from the conversation, Violet had hired the two men to do some heavy-duty landscaping around the front of the house and Herb Haven.
Camille had just been considering murdering her sister. Man, no one could tease more mercilessly than a sister, and Violet was even worse than Daisy. But now, she watched Vi change personalities from a completely normal, pain in the neck sister into Ms. Brainless Ditz again.
It was the men. They were both late-twenties. Sun-bronzed. Their shoulders and arms were ropey with muscles, their jeans riding low, their hair shaggy. Cute enough, but young, and nothing special, really. Just guys.
Yet Violets whole behavior changed around them. Her laughter came out trilly; her movements mimicked an airhead; she chattered nine for a dozen and acted dense as a thicket.
Camille cocked her hands on her hips, thinking soon. She could hardly interfere in someone elses life when her own was still in pieces. But soon, she simply had to figure what the Sam Hill was going on with her sister.
But right then, she scooped up her clean sheets and towels and laundry and hustled back to the cottage. Her goal was to be out in the lavender before lunch. In her mind, shed set a goal-she was giving herself a maximum of one more week to finish the pruning. Really, it was ridiculously late in the season to be trying to do this kind of work now, but she was close to the end. Once the pruning was done, shed have essentially done a needed job for her sister-something to earn her keep. What Violet intended to do with the damn stuff from there wasnt her business or her problem.