The salads fine. Camilles attention was diverted. I dont want you cooking for me. Taking care of me like this. She added more clearly, I hate it.
I cook anyway. I like cooking. Its no trouble.
Thats not the point. The point is, Im not your problem. Im no ones problem. She yanked her hair back, said lowly, fiercely, I cant work yet, Violet. I will. Its driving me crazy, living off you, not pulling my share, but-
Oh shut up. How many times do I have to say it? The land belongs to all of us. You know how Mom and Dad set it up. Dads still positive that one of us will want to farm if he just waits long enough. Violet added, And Dads always asking how you are. If youre talking about Robert yet-
Dont. Camille heard the sharp slap in her tone, but couldnt help it. She wasnt talking about Robert.
Okay, okay, take it easy. Violet fluttered to her feet, pivoted around with another dish from the counter. God knew, it was probably more fish. You need some money?
No.
Spending money. Everyone needs spending money-
I dont need or want anything! She jerked to her feet at the sound of a truck engine. Someone was coming, pulling into the driveway. She all but ran to the hall for the ragged barn jacket and cap.
Camille, come on, you dont have to run away-
Im not running away. I just She was just having trouble breathing. Gusts of air felt trapped in her lungs, yet her heart was galloping at racetrack speeds. She didnt want to be mean to Violet. She didnt want to be mean to anyone. She just wanted to be left alone-where all that rotten moodiness wouldnt hurt anybody. Where she didnt have to work so hard to be nice, to be normal. She shoved her feet into the damp field boots and yanked at the back door-only to realize that someone was pulling the same door from the other side.
She almost barreled straight into an oak-straight, oak-hard chest. Whoa, Cam. Easy.
Even without jerking her head up, she recognized Pete MacDougals gentling tenor, somehow recognized the grip of his big hands steadying her shoulders.
For the briefest millisecond she just wanted to fold into his arms-big, warm, strong arms. She didnt want to fight. She just wanted to be lifted, carried, swallowed up somewhere the anger couldnt get her. But that millisecond was fleeting, of course. It was a crazy impulse, anyway.
Even a moment with Pete hit her the way it had the first time, days ago. He was a slam of strong, vital male. A reminder of what shed lost, what shed never have again.
She said nothing, just felt the panic squeeze tighter around her heart, and bolted past him and out the door.
He called something.
She ignored him. She ignored everything, just hurtled cross-field toward the cottage. Away from Violet. Away from Pete. Away from life.
The way she wanted it.
Three
Pete ambled out of his home office, rolling his shoulders to stretch the kinks out, and glanced at the kitchen clock. He thought it was around two. Instead, hell, it was almost three.
The boys were due home from school, and this last week in April, the kids had picked up spring fever with a vengeance. Pete knew exactly how the afternoon was going to go. The instant Sean walked in, he was going to start up with his wheedling-whine campaign to get a horse. There wasnt an animal born that boy didnt want to raise-preferably in the house. Simon was going to start in with the earsplitting music, which would get the eldest MacDougal complaining, and Ian was already having a poor-me kind of day. Laundry hadnt been done in a week, and when boys were of an age to have wet dreams, Pete had discovered that youd best not wait too long to change the sheets and linens. And no one had bothered with the dishes since last night, either.
The more Pete analyzed the situation, the more he realized the obvious. If he didnt run away now, the opportunity threatened to disappear. Swiftly he yanked a jacket off the hook and escaped.
Aw, man. When his lungs hauled in that first breath of fresh air, it felt like diamonds for his soul. For days it had been rainy and blustery cold, but now, finally there was some payoff. A balmy, spring breeze brushed his skin; the sun felt soft and liquid-warm. Green was bursting everywhere. Violets and trillium were coming up in the woods, daffodils budding by the fences.
He didnt realize he was hiking toward the west fence-and the border between the MacDougals and the Campbells-until he saw her. Actually, he couldnt make out exactly who was standing by that godawful lavender mess on the Campbells east twenty acres. But someone was. A waif.
He unlatched the gate, but then just stood there. No one, but no one, had taken his heart like this in years.
Damn woman had lost so much weight that her jeans were hanging on her, the hems dragging in the dirt. She was wearing a rowdy-red shirt with a frayed neck and an old barn jacket that used to be her dads favorite. In the sunlight, her cap of hair looked satin-black and shiny, but a shorn sheep had more style-and Pete suspected thats exactly what shed done, taken scissors and whacked off all that gorgeous long hair after whozits died. Everything about her appearance told the same story. So much grief and nowhere to go with it.
Camille couldnt be his problem, hed already told himself-several times in the past few weeks-and it was true. He had an overfilled plate now. The boys had been a nonstop handful since Debbie deserted them. Their grandfather indulged them right and left. Petes translating work for the government had turned into a far more lucrative living than hed ever dreamed, but come spring, he would have the land and orchards to tend on top of his real work. All in all, most days he was lucky to have a second to himself. He sure didnt need more stress.
But damn. Those eyes of hers were deep as a river.
She was looking out at those endless acres of untended lavender, her hands on her hips.
Pete could have sworn that he intended to turn around and skedaddle before Camille caught sight of him, but somehow he seemed to have unlatched the gate and hiked toward her instead. She startled in surprise when she suddenly found him standing next to her. He squinted at the fields as if they studied their respective farming problems together every day.
Dont even start about my sister. It was the first thing she said, and in the same ornery tone shed spoken to him last time.
I thought we covered this? I always liked your whole family. Violet included. I dont think less of her because there are some raisins short in her bran. Because apparently she wouldnt know a weed from a willow. Because she wouldnt recognize common sense if it bit her in the butt-
Ive leveled guys for less, so you just quit it. There is nothing wrong with my sister.
You dont think some of that blond hair dye seeped into her brain?
She lifted a booted foot to kick him-then seemed to realize shed been suckered into his teasing and stiffened up again. She took a breath, then said quietly, Go away, Pete.
He didnt. God knew why. Maybe it was the land. Looking at all those acres of tangled, woody, gnarled growth offended the farmer in him-even if he wasnt much of a farmer anymore. I dont know much about lavender, he admitted conversationally. I mean, Ive seen it in gardens and all, but Ive no knowledge of it as a commercial crop. But a bird brain could figure out that this thicket has to be damned close to becoming completely unrecoverable-
It isnt your problem, Camille mentioned.
He ignored that. The thing is, though, as bad a mess as this isyour sister started this massive planting only a few years ago. So there has to be a chance its salvageable. Not a good chance. But at least some chance. The question is how and how fast. I have to believe that if you dont get control of it this spring, itll be gone for good. Which means that about by Monday, there needs to be a crew of guys in here-
Without turning toward him, she lifted a finger in the air. Thankfully, Pete loved a woman who could communicate without words, so he just grinned. Until he realized that she was still staring at the long stretch of wasted, woebegone fields with a determined squint in her eyes.
Whoa. Dont even start thinking it, Cam. You cant do it. Not alone. No one could.
Finally she turned, and tipped those river-deep eyes at him. Were you under the impression I was asking your opinion about anything?
So sassy. So rude. So much fury.
He was tempted to kiss her. Not a little kiss, and not an old-neighbor friendly peck, either. A kiss that might shake through her anger. A kiss that might touch some of that fierce, sharp loneliness. A kiss that might make him feel better-because right now it ripped raw to watch his beautiful Camille hurting and not have the first clue how to help her.
The impulse to kiss her invaded his mind for several long seconds and stung there like a mosquito bite, itching, swelling, daring him to scratch it. Then, thank God, he came to his senses. Certainly he had his stone-headed moments-didnt everybody?-but Pete wasnt usually troubled by lunacy.
He zoned on something concrete and practical as fast as he could get the words out. So, Camexactly what do you know about growing lavender?
Welleveryone in the family knows a little, because my mom loved it so much. She always grew enough to make sachets and soap and dried flower arrangements, that kind of thing. And Violet-she knows the recipes, all this unusual stuff about how to use lavender as a spice. And Daisys been living in France for several years now-she knows more than both of us, because shes around Provence and the perfume industry, so shes learned how lavenders used as a perfume ingredient and all that. She added, But what I personally know about growing lavender would fill a thimble. Assuming the thimble were extra small.
So you know not to try and tackle all these acres by yourself. He just had to be sure she wasnt going to do anything crazy. Then he could leave. And he badly wanted to leave, before he had another damn-fool impulse to kiss her. God knew what was wrong with him. Maybe he needed an aspirin or some prune juice. For damn sure, he was going to dose himself with something when he got home-but first he needed to be certain she wasnt determined to dive off the deep end into a brick pool.