As if shed uttered the words out loud, Booker T said mildly, At a guess, Id say somebody doesnt want us to make this run.
Her mouth clamped shut as she realized both men were staring at her. She stared back at them in utter silence for a long moment. Then, Good Lord, Booker T, you cant think I-
Booker T shrugged. Honey, youve been throwing a hissy fit over this trip ever since you booked it.
She uttered another outraged squeak and looked at Tahoe, who was carefully not looking at either one of them. She closed her eyes for a quick three-count to get a grip on her temper, then said slowly and carefully, Look. I was against it to begin with and Im still not happy about it, but Id never sabotage my own equipment just to get out of a run. Hell, Id just cancel it, if it came to that. Booker T, you know me better than that.
Yeah, said Booker T, I do know you. He jerked his head toward the three people approaching. Im just not so sure they do. You know how this is gonna look to them.
Oh Lord, Alex thought. Matt. Hes going to think I did this. He knows what I think about making this run.
The other boat seems okay, Tahoe offered. And weve got the kayaks.
YeahI guess. Well have to leave some of the gear behind, though. You guys-
Is there a problem? That was Cory. Hed reached them first, those inquisitive, see-everything eyes intent behind his glasses.
Alex glanced at Tahoe, then Booker T. Carefully avoided looking at Matt, who was just now rolling up behind his brother, the going being a bit slow for his chair on the riverbank sand. She looked at Cory and Sam and offered them a bright gung ho smile. Nothing we cant deal with. Seems one of the boats doesnt want to stay inflated.
That cant be good, Sam muttered.
Alex gave a chortle of laughter and tried not to think about the intent and curious stare Matt was giving her as he joined them. Definitely not. Which is why we always bring backup. We have a couple of kayaks, just in case something like this happens. Sam, you think you can handle riding along with Tahoe?
Sure. No problem.
No hesitation, no looking at her husband first. She had her chin up, fingers tucked in her back pockets, confident and ready for anything. Alex decided she liked this woman.
Okay, then. Gather up your gear, folks. Meet back here in ten minutes for your final safety briefing. Well be putting in in fifteen.
Cory and Sam nodded and headed back up to the campsite. Booker T gave a little salute and went off to see to the horse and mules. Tahoe was already unloading one of the two-man inflatable kayaks from the other oar boat. Which left Alex to face Matt, whose eyes were steady and full of questions, and who wasnt showing any inclination to leave without answers.
You want to tell me whats going on? He asked it softly, for her ears only.
She looked at him, then away, telling herself she didnt need to tell him anything more than she would any other client.
Alex?
Maybe she didnt need to tell him, but oh, how she wanted to. In the old days I would.
But how could she tell him about this? Sabotage? It was just too crazy. And Booker T was right. Matt would probably think shed done it herself in some sort of desperate ploy to get out of making the run.
She let out an exasperated breath. Look, its just embarrassing, okay? How do you think I feel, having something happen on this, of all runs? I mean, you, of all peopleand your brotherJeez.
Hey, I know the feeling. He gave her his crooked smile and leaned into the job of turning his chair in the sand.
She watched him, words clogging up her throat. Hed made a few yards progress before one broke free. Wait-
He paused and looked at her over one shoulder. She took a step toward him, then another. He waited patiently, not saying anything.
Matt- God, why is this so hard? -hey, look, Im sorry about She made a helpless gesture, then tucked her fingertips in her pockets to keep from doing it again. You know-back there. With the mule.
He tilted his head. Why?
Why? Because- There was a lump in her throat. She swallowed, but it wouldnt go down. I shouldnt have stayed. I mean, I should have given you some privacy. I wasnt thinking. And Im sorry. She let go the breath shed been holding.
Why? Because- There was a lump in her throat. She swallowed, but it wouldnt go down. I shouldnt have stayed. I mean, I should have given you some privacy. I wasnt thinking. And Im sorry. She let go the breath shed been holding.
He lifted one shoulder. Hey, you were there in rehab. It is what it is, Alex. Its been five years. Ive learned to deal with it. His look lingered, and there was no accusation in his eyes at all.
So why did she feel so guilty? And why did the words he hadnt said echo so loudly in her mind?
Five years, Alex. And if youd shared them with me, maybe youd have learned to deal with it, too.
Hed tried to explain to the shrink theyd sent him to, those first months after the accident, what it was about running the river. He thought the doc was probably hoping to help him find some equally enjoyable hobby to occupy him, something more suitable for a man with his physical limitations. Matt had tried to make him understand-there wasnt anything else like it. Not even close. It wasnt all about the adrenaline rush, either. He still got that, in other ways, like at the start of a race, in those frozen seconds waiting for the starters gun, when his focus narrowed down so he could hear his own heartbeat, feel the blood surging through his arteries. And then the shotthe explosion of energy through every cell in his body, even the ones he no longer felt. There was challenge there, too, him against the field, man against man.
But man against the river. That was something else.
Just himhim against a force so immense, so unimaginably powerful, he knew if he gave it one chance, made one mistake, one error in judgment, it could easily kill him. It tested a person, going up against the river. Tested his mental and physical strength and stamina, and yes, his courage, in ways nothing else hed tried ever could. To go up against the river and all its might and unpredictability and win-that was something nothing and nobody could take away from him.
The river had never bested him-not yet. Hed fallen off a mountain, most likely due to his own carelessness or stupidity, but hed never lost a battle with the river.
Him versus the river. One on one. And the river didnt know or care whether his legs worked. There would be no special category for people like him, no different set of scoring rules, no allowances made for the fact that he was disabled. The river didnt know mercy.
God, how Ive missed this!
For the first time in five years, he felt whole.
As the first set of rapids churned and thundered around him, Matt lifted his paddle to the sky and let out a whoop of pure joy.
Matts shout went through Alex like an electric current, a bolt of emotion that was both exhilaration and pain. It made her smile-she couldnt help it. And brought tears to her eyes-she couldnt help that, either.
Theyd made it through the first rapids. The first test, and hed passed it with flying colors. The laughter that bubbled through her as they drifted into the quiet water below the rapids was partly relief, partly something she couldnt even name. Gladnessjoyeven a peculiar sort of pride?
Exasperation, she thought, would be more like it. She should have known he wouldnt stay put in the bottom of the boat. Of course he wouldnt. Obviously, somebody paralyzed from the waist down couldnt sit on the tube, the way passengers normally would. Passengers had to sit sideways to the bow and use their leg muscles to steady them while they turned to face forward and paddle, while the guide sat up on the back of the boat and steered with two oars and called commands. Physically challenged clients sat in the bottom of the boat. But not Matt. Oh, no. The minute theyd hit the first rapids, hed pulled himself to the edge with his chest against the tube, braced himself with his elbows and begun paddling.
And, dammit, she had to admit shed needed him. Normally there would be a lot more people manning the paddles. With only Cory to respond to her commands, the big oar boat would have been a lot harder to control.
Now they sat in the quiet water with oars gently backpaddling, waiting for the kayak to make its run. It was standard procedure for the boats to go through rapids one at a time, so they could watch each other and be ready to assist in case of emergency. In this case the oar boat, carrying the emergency equipment, had been the first to go. Now they waitedand watched.
Alex glanced at Cory, who was tense as wire. Of course hed be worried about his wife. She gave him a reassuring smile. That Sam was a tough one. Shed do just fine.
This is wild, thought Sam. Crazy wild. Pure insanity. But, oh Lord, its fun!
Sam hadnt time for much more thought than that; she was much too busy trying to stay alive. At some point it occurred to her that she was in a real life-and-death fight-not the first time shed found herself in that situation, but this was different, somehow. Here, she was up against an adversary not driven by human intelligence. One that would kill without discrimination, mercy or remorse.
Terrifying.
Here were forces so powerful they could only be ridden, never mastered or controlled-something like riding a bucking bull, she imagined, only here getting bucked off was not an option!
It was oddly tempting to surrender to the forces, just give in and let them take her where they would. But she couldnt give in, she knew that.
Have to keep my headstay on top of it
She had no time to marvel at the skill of the guide, Tahoe. No time to worry or think about Coryor Matt. Just focus on hanging on to the paddle, following Tahoes lead, and staying upright.
Then, in an instant, they werent upright.
She was in the water, icy-cold water. She was in the monsters grip. In its mouth. Being chewed up, eaten alive. Every limb was being pulled in a different direction. Twisted and turned, like a rag doll in a washing machine. She had no idea which way was up. She swallowed water and her chest screamed. Her brain exploded in panic.
Then-her head was free! She gasped in air, choked on it. She was bobbing like a bit of flotsam in the frothing, seething turbulence, and from somewhere a pinprick of reason broke through the chaotic darkness in her mind. Something Alex had told them during the safety briefings: If you fall in, get into tuck position! Like lying in a recliner-sit with feet up and pointed downstream! So you dont get a foot caught in the rocks!
There. She was still alive. Reason was returning. She was alive, floating down the river in the wake of the kayak, which she could see from time to time as it was flung skyward like a broken branch in a flash flood.