Then, like an uninvited guest, a line from another song, one neither of them had mentioned, popped into her mind. Something about raindrops blowing against windows, and then: Make believe you love me
Longing sliced through her, sharp and bright and hot as a blade. She gasped; her body arched and opened to him, and he responded to her urgency as if he knew exactly what she needed. He drove himself into her, hard and deep, and her body clenched and tightened at first until he covered her mouth with his, claimed her with his mouth, his hands, his bodyfilled her completely, and drove everything else from her mind.
Much later, exhausted and hovering on the edge of sleep, she heard him groan, then whisper, Damn. Forgot the condoms again.
She laughed, and fell headlong into oblivion.
She laughed, and fell headlong into oblivion.
I keep coming back to it-the question Holt asked. Lindsey shook her head, then leaned it back against the headrest but didnt close her eyes. Why?
They were driving south on the 405 Freeway in light Sunday morning traffic. The storm had moved on east. Somewhere off to their right the Pacific was living up to its name, for once. On the left, distant mountains sported caps of new snow. The color palate was crisp and bright, the sky overhead a brilliant blue, dotted with artists clouds. A chamber of commerce postcard day.
When Alan didnt reply, she looked over at him. His profile was sharp-edged, his eyes narrowed and focused on the road ahead. He was all cop this morning, and she was actually glad. It made it easier to put the night that had passed between them into its own compartment in her mind, something rare to be locked awayprotectedkept separate from real life.
I know you think my dad is guilty, that hes the one who kidnapped the McKinneys- she still couldnt think of that young couple as her parents -and shot them and threw them into the Chesapeake Bay
Your mother says he did, Alan said quietly. You want to believe shes confused, that she made a mistake. But she was right about everything else-having a different husband, a child named Jimmy, being shot, floating-why would she be confused about that one thing? The most important thing, maybe.
But, why? It doesnt make sense. It seems pretty certain my dad was the man who showed up at the hospital and claimed Jane Doe as his wife, Sally Phillips. Its absolutely certain hes the man who raised me and made a happy home for me and my mother for the next forty years. Her voice was tight now, with the anger that constricted her throat and chest. You tell me-how does it make any kind of sense that hes the same person who shot her in the first place?
There was a long pause, and then Alan let out a slow, exasperated breath. It doesnt. I know it doesnt. He threw her a quick, intense glance. But, there is an answer to that question, and the only person who knows it is the man who calls himself Richard Merrill. His voice was hard, and she could see the muscles in his jaw clench. Im going to have to talk to him, Lindsey. You know that, dont you?
She turned her head to look out the window and didnt reply.
Yes. Im going to have to talk to him.
But, Alan continued, I need to have as much information as I possibly can before I do. The photos alone arent enough. Which means I have to wait for everything from the Richmond PD, as well as Bob Faulkners files-the Baltimore files on the McKinney case-to get here. Hes sending them overnight, but because of the weekend they wont get here until at least Monday. He paused, then said, Lindsey? in a warning tone. And paused again. He cannot know about this-do you understand me? You cant tell him what we know, or ask him about it yourself. In fact, youd best stay completely away from him, if you dont think you can keep secrets from him. Okay?
She couldnt seem to make herself utter a sound. She nodded, watching San Clemente slip past and the Pacific come into view beyond her window.
Lindsey? Promise me you wont try to talk to him. Stayawayfrom him. Got it?
San Onofre nuclear power plant loomed ahead on the right, a giant pair of female breasts pointing at the sky. She stared at them with burning eyes. Got it, she said.
Neither of them spoke again until they were pulling into Lindseys driveway. Instead of dropping her off, Alan got out and walked her to her door, looking around him the way cops do, checking out the surroundings. One hand even went automatically to his right hip, she noticed, where his holster would be, if hed had a weapon with him.
Remembering the last time we were here, she thought. And Dad was herecoming down the driveway. My Dad. And now hes wishing for his gun?
At her door, he took her face between his hands and looked into her eyes, and she thought for a moment he would kiss her. Instead, he said gravely, Stay away from him, Lindsey. Please. Theres no telling what he might do if he knows were on to him.
Dad would never hurt me, she said thickly.
She pulled away from him and put her key in the lock, opened the door and went inside. He didnt say anything more, or try to stop her. She closed the door, locked it, then leaned against it and let the tears come.
I dont trust her, Alan said.
At the other end of the cell phone connection, Carl Taketa was silent for a moment. Then: Do you really think shed confront Merrill on her own?
She didnt promise she wouldnt, Alan said grimly. And even if she did promise, I still wouldnt trust her. Shes desperate for answers, and hes the only one whos got em. And, hes her daddy. She truly doesnt believe hed harm her.
Do you think he would?
Alan let out a gusty breath. Probably not. But thats not my only concern. The guy has changed identities before. He has financial resources. If he finds out were on to him, well lose him for sure.
You really think shed tip him off?
Again-probably not. Not deliberately, anyway. But I have a feeling shes not a very good liar, not where hes concerned, and this is weighing heavily on her mind. She could easily say or do something that would make him suspicious. Look-you know I cant do anything until we get the DNA results showing a sibling relationship between Lindsey and Holt Kincaid. Without that theres no proof Karen McKinney and Susan Merrill are the same person, and even with DNA we cant definitively prove the Chesapeake Jane Doe is connected to either one.
Come on, Carl said, I dont think youd have any trouble convincing a jury.
Maybe not, Alan said, which only makes Merrill guilty of falsifying his identity. Theres nothing to connect him to the shooting of Karen and James McKinney. The only way Im going to get that is to sweat it out of him, and before I go after him I need more than what Ive got now. Meanwhile, I dont want to take a chance on losing him. Partner, I hate like hell to ask you-I know its Sunday, but he knows me, he knows my car-
Say no more. Ill sit on him until you can get the captain to assign surveillance.
Alicia is going to hate me.
Nah, thats the great thing about her being a cop, too. Shell understand.
Wellthanks, pal. I owe you.
What for? Giving me a piece of solving a forty-year-old murder? Shoot, man, I owe you.
Lindsey was stepping out of the shower when her cell phone rang. She grabbed a towel and picked up the phone with a shaking hand, knowing who it was before she even looked at the caller ID.
Dad! she said, as her chest and throat filled up with a lumpy mixture of guilt and grief.
Lindsey? Whereve you been, sweetheart? Ive been trying to reach you for two days.
Umsorry about that. She tried to laugh, and it sounded like a cry of pain. Ihad my phone turned off most of the weekend. I was-Alan and I went to L.A.
In all that rain? What in the world for?
We wereuhwe were visiting some friends of Alans. Traffic was fine going in, but coming back it got pretty bad, so we stayed over and came on home this morning. I didnt think about calling. Im sorry if you were worried, but there wasnt any reason to be.
I know, I know, and youre an adult and dont need to check in with your old dad anymore, butit wouldnt kill you to give me a call, would it? Youre still my little girl, you know.
I know
Lindsey? Whats the matter? Is something wrong?
No, no. Her eyes were shut tight. She struggled with all her strength to hold back tearsmake her voice sound brightnormal. She forced a laugh, then sniffed and added, I just got out of the shower, Dad. Im dripping here.
Oh! Well, for goodness sake, dont catch cold. I wont keep you, honey. Just glad youre home safe.
Me, too. Dont worry, Im fine.
I know you are. But Ill worry anyway. I love you, girlie. There was a pause, then: Talked to your mother lately?
Not for a few days. Im going to go see her tomorrow.
Okaywell. There was the sound of an indrawn breath. Tell her I love her, honey. Will you do that for me?
I will, Dad. She was holding her breath, afraid to breathe, afraid he would hear a sob in it. Her chest felt as though it would burst.
Wellokay then. Guess Ill say gnight. Let you get dried off.
Night, Dad.
I love you, honey.
Love you, too
She broke the connection and turned blindly, first one way, then the other, in such agony she wanted nothing so much as to hurl the phone as far and as hard as she could. But of course she didnt. Instead she pressed the instrument against her forehead, closed her eyes and let the pent-up tears flow freely down her cheeks.
First thing Monday morning Alan knocked on Ron Tupmans door. The captain sounded surly, as usual, even that early on the first day of a new week, but he listened with his customary laser-like intensity while Alan filled him in on the weekends developments in the Susan Merrill case.
So, Tupman said when Alan had finished, youre telling me Taketas been sitting on Merrills place all night?
Yes, sir, he has, Alan said. Didnt want the man deciding to pull another disappearing act.
So, you think his daughter-so-called-might tip him off?
I hope she wont, butlets just say Id rather not take that chance.
Tupman nodded and picked up his phone. Well, lets get somebody out there to relieve Carl. He drilled Alan with a stare. How long you figure before youll have enough to bring him in?
Alan considered. Depends on what Richmond sends me. And the rest of the files from the Baltimore detective-Faulkner. Unless theres something there we all missed, Im probably going to have to wait for the DNA.