She did-oh, she did. But most of all she hated that shed never known if shed succeeded in hurting him back. Shed tried-youd better believe shed tried-but if she had managed to hurt him, hed never let her see it. Not once.
And for that, more than anything, I swear I am never gonna forgive you.
She cleared her throat, took a deep breath. Look, PearseI know this is probably awkward for you-
Awkward? She heard the smile in his voice, and irony that was gentle, not bitter. Likehell is awkward, you mean?
So, he thinks seeing me again after two solid years is hell? Well, good. Im glad.
She was glad. So why did she feel a need to grit her teeth and swallow hard before she could answer him?
Yeah, wellIm gonna need to know if youre okay with it. If youre not, just say the word. When we get to Zamboanga-
Of course I can handle it, he said softly.
Of course he can handle it, she thought, sarcastically. Hed handle it the way he handled everything. Like a journalist, clear-eyed and objective, but careful to keep himself one step removed from the messy stuff. Stuff likeemotional turmoil. And pain. It was the way hed handled Iraq and its aftermath, wasnt it? And probably all sorts of stuff that had happened to him in his distant past hed never been willing to talk about to anyone, not even her.
Seconds ticked by in silence, while the farmlands and forests of Mindanao unfolded slowly below them.
So, tell me, Sam said in a falsely bright, conversational voice, shaking off the strangling sense of futility that had coiled around her, hows Karen these days?
She heard his sharp hiss of exasperation and felt her cheeks heat with a weird mixture of triumph and shame. What was it that made her want to needle him? The forlorn hope he might lose his cool? That was never going to happen. And even if it did, what would that accomplish?
At least Id know he cared. That Id hurt him, maybe a fraction as badly as he hurt me.
Okay, the devil made me do it
For Gods sake, Samantha, he said in a weary voice.
What? She threw him a wounded look. She was your wife forwhat was it, a whole year? Knowing you, Im sure the divorce was amicable. You probably keep in touch, exchange Christmas cardsall that stuff, right? She lifted a shoulder and turned her eyes back to the horizon. I was just wondering how she was doing. She looked like a nice person. I wish her well. Sure you do. You wish her in hell, is what you mean.
How do you know what she looks like? Corys voice sounded idly curious, remote and far away.
I saw the wedding pictures you guys sent Mom and Dad. She lookedhappy. So did you. She looked over at him, chin lifted in defense against the suffocating pain in her throat and chest. So, what happened, anyway?
He was maneuvering himself carefully around the controls and out of the copilots seat and didnt reply.
Hey, she said in mock dismay, were still a half hour out. You dont have to go back to your seat yet.
Yeah, I do, he said flatly. If you think Im going to discuss my failed marriage with you, youre crazy. With one hand on the back of the right-hand seat, the other on hers, he paused as if listening to a replay of what hed said inside his own head. Then he added in a softer tone, Not now, anyway. I guess we are going to have to talk, but this isnt the time or the place.
It wasnt until hed left the cockpit and was on his way back to his seat that Sam realized her heart was pounding. And that she felt shivery inside-a purely feminine kind of weakness she hadnt felt inoh, years and years. Well, two, to be exact. Which happened to be the last time shed spoken face-to-face with Cory Pearson.
Feminine weaknesses-or any other kind, for that matter-she surely did not need. Lord help her, especially not now.
Well, hellfire and damnation-as Great-Grannie Calhoun might have said-what was she supposed to do? She hadnt expected to feel so much, not after all this time.
Tonys stare followed Cory down the aisle and into his seat.
Dont even think about asking, Cory warned in a hard, flat voice that carried over the loud click of his seat belt.
Tony promptly closed his mouth. A moment later, though, he opened it again to say, jabbing a finger at Cory for emphasis, Okay, but just so you know, the minute we get to Zamboanga, its the brews first, then the buzz. I mean it, man. The whole story. Or you can find yourself another cameraman. Swear to God.
Cory put his head back against the seat and closed his eyes.
He wasnt worried about losing his photographer. In addition to being a close personal friend, Tonyd have to be comatose and chained to a bunker before hed miss this assignment. But he was right-the three of them were going to be depending on each other for a lot during the next week or so, including, possibly, their lives. They were a team, for better or worse. Tony deserved to know about his history with the third member of the team-some of it, anyway.
Definitely not everything.
God, how it all came back to him, the way things had been with Sam and him. Every laugh, every tear, every heart-thumping, gut-twisting, sweaty detail. The chemistry-the fireworks-had been there from the first moment for both of them, although hed done a pretty good job-heroic, he thought, considering what he was up against-of holding it at bay for as long as he had.
Thered been the age thing, of course, but Sam hadnt wanted to hear about that. Far as she was concerned she was a grown-up woman of legal consenting age, and that was that. Didnt help matters, either, that her mother had been the same age when shed met and fallen in love with her dad.
Then thered been Corys friendship with Tristan, forged during those hellish days spent together in an Iraqi prison. Tris hadnt been happy when his baby girl, the daughter he still remembered as a ponytailed tomboy, had declared her intention of dating a thirty-two-year-old friend of her fathers. Cory had been fighting a strong sense of guilt about that the weekend hed gone to visit Tris, Jessie and Sam at the lake house. Memorial Day weekend, it had been. Lord, how well he remembered that terrible day
Its been a beautiful day. Last nights thunderstorms have moved on, and the skies have cleared to a typically hot, hazy, sun-shiny summer afternoon. The lake is crowded with boats of all kinds, shapes and sizes: pontoons loaded with partying lake-dwellers waving to neighbors on their docks, flat-bottomed bass boats with solitary fishermen stoically riding out the chop in quiet coves, lots of other ski-boats, and of course the Wave Runners and Jet Skis, zipping illegally in and out amongst them all.
In the midst of all the chaos, Sam is determined to teach me to water-ski. Ive never considered myself particularly talented when it comes to sports, but shes patient-or stubborn-and it seems as if I might be getting the hang of it, finally. Ive gotten up-again-and this time it feels like I might stay here awhile. Tris is driving the boat, while Jess sits watching me from the spotters seat in the rear, and Sam rides beside me on her knee board. Above the hiss of the waters spray I can hear her shouting encouragement and praise.
He remembered the feel of the goofy grin on his face, the breathless exhilaration when he successfully jumped the wake.
He remembered the two kids on the Jet Ski, a boy and a girl riding tandem, cutting in closetoo close.
I hit the water with that stinging thump thats become all too familiar to me this day, and I hear Sams yell and Jessies whoop, and the sound of the boats motor throttling down, then circling slowly back to me. Jess leans over the back of the boat, calling to me, asking if Im ready to call it quits.
Thats when it happens.
I dont see the accident, none of us do, except maybe Tristan. But we all hear it-that terrible grinding crunch. I hear Tris shout as he guns the boat, and then hes heading away from me toward the mouth of a nearby cove. Far off across the roiling surface of the water I can see the teenagers Jet Ski floating at a crazy angle next to a capsized bass boat.
Then Im swimming, swimming toward the wreck, swimming as hard as Ive ever swum in my life before, and my heart feels like its on fire in my chest.
I hear Jessie screaming at Tris, and the sound of a splash as Tris hits the water. And after what seems an eternity, I see Triss head reappear, and next to it that of the unconscious fisherman. I feel an awful jolt of adrenaline shoot through me a moment later when I see both Tris and the fisherman slowly sink back beneath the surface of that muddy water.
A thought flashes through my mind: No! No way he survived eight years in an Iraqi prison to die in this godforsaken pond. No way!
Thats when I haul in air and dive.
Things become confusedIm operating on instinct.
Im underwater, I feel somethingI grab hold of it. Its Tris, and I grab hold of him and try to fight my way back to the surface. And I realize Im fighting a losing battle because Tris still has a death grip on the bass fisherman and isnt about to let go.
I think, God help us, were all going to drown.
And thenmy heads above water, and I see Sam, plowing toward us through the water on her knee board, digging hard with both arms and yelling and cussing like a maniac, and shes shoving life preservers at me, and her strong hands are everywhere, helping me, lifting Tris, pulling them both up out of the water.
Theres a lot of yelling and thrashing around, and everything is gasping, coughing, choking, sobbing pandemonium
In spite of the confusion, some images stayed clear in his mind: Sam treading water while breathing into the fishermans mouth. Jess doing the same for the teenaged boy in the bottom of the boat while she sobbed and swore furiously at Tris between breaths. Tris clinging to the side of the boat, gasping for breath and glancing over at Cory with haunted eyes.
Later that evening, after paramedics had flown the three accident victims off to the hospital in a medevac chopper, after Tris and Jess, Sam and Cory had all showered and eaten and calm had been restored, Sam and Cory took the boat and went out again onto the now-serene and all but deserted lake. To watch the sunset, Sam said, but Cory had known her real reason for wanting to get out of the house was to give her mom and dad some privacy. Theyd been having a rough time of it since Triss return from the dead, Cory knew. It was Jesss concern about her husband that had led her to call Cory, to ask for help from the one person she felt might understand what Tris was going through.