How well he remembered that night, too, and what a strange contradiction there seemed to be between the peace and quiet of tranquil water reflecting sunset cloudsthe first and brightest star of eveningand the sense inside himself that something profound had happened to him this day. That being here with this woman, a milestone had been passed in his life, one equal in import and magnitude to his parents death and his sojourn in Iraq, one that would change the direction of his life irrevocably.
Look, Sam says, theres the Wishing Star.
She tells me, then, how she wished on that star when she was a little girl, and she tells me the poem and we recite it together: Starlight, star bright, first star Ive seen tonight
What did you wish for? I ask her, smiling, thinking how very young she is.
Uh-uh. Youre not supposed to tell. Otherwise, it wont come true. And she smiles and tilts her face up to mine.
It was then, in that moment, that hed forgotten any thoughts hed ever had about how young she was. Hed remembered instead her strength and her courage. Hed remembered her intelligence and sensitivity, her stubbornness and arrogance and husky, sexy laughter. And hed lowered his head and kissed her.
Oh, how he remembered that kiss.
What do I expect-something sweet and innocent and virginal, maybe? InsteadI find myself lost. Lost in a sensual junglelush, humid, beautiful, exhilaratingterrifying. Im afraid I may never escape; I dont want to, really. But at the same time Im afraid, as inside me I feel battlements Ive spent a lifetime erecting begin to shiver and quake.
It takes all my wits and will, but I fight my way free, and Im thinking, How am I ever going to hold out against this?
And I think, Tristan, my friend, Im sorry-forgive me-but Im afraid Ive fallen in love with your daughter
He had held out for a lot longer than hed believed possible, though he hadnt been able to make Sam understand why, even with her long, silky body warm and soft against his, her strong fingers tracing paths on his skin for her eager mouth to follow, when all her womans instincts and the evidence of her senses told her how much he wanted her, he could still refuse to take her to bed.
Sam hadnt understood, that night on the lakea night and a kiss so beautiful, so full of sweetness and hope and promise it had made his soul ache. It was only the first of God-knew-how-many times hed disappointed her.
Chapter 3
Okay, I just wanna know one thing. Tony wiped beer from his lips with the back of his hand and leaned back in his chair. If you still had a thing for this Sam chick, why in the hell did you marry Karen?
Cory watched the waiter in his white tunic and black slacks weave his way between tables on his way back to the bar. Boy, you dont mess around, do you? he said mildly. Straight for the throat.
Whatever works, Tony said, burping agreeably.
Cory picked up his beer glass and sipped, then reconsidered and took a couple of hefty gulps. Talking about personal stuff-his personal stuff-never had come easy for him; he figured priming the pump a little couldnt hurt.
He coughed, frowned and said, Its not that simple.
Never is. Tony nodded at him in a so-go-on kind of way. Quit stalling.
Instead of replying, Cory shifted around in his chair, ran a hand through his hair and swore under his breath.
Okay, Tony said, sitting forward and planting his forearms on the table, Ill get you started. You met this
Samantha.
Yeah. You met Samantha right after you came back from Iraq, right? And it was love at first sight. Dyn-o-mite. So thatd make it he counted on his fingers six-no, seven-years later you married Karen. I have to assume you dated the lady some before you popped the question. So, what were you doing during the previous six years? Were you and Samantha together all that time?
Samantha.
Yeah. You met Samantha right after you came back from Iraq, right? And it was love at first sight. Dyn-o-mite. So thatd make it he counted on his fingers six-no, seven-years later you married Karen. I have to assume you dated the lady some before you popped the question. So, what were you doing during the previous six years? Were you and Samantha together all that time?
We dated, Cory hedged, scrubbing a hand over his eyes. Off and on
Datedas in, dinner and a movie? Or datedas in, you give her a drawer in your apartment and she keeps your aftershave on her sink? Cory glared at him. Hey, you were sleeping with her, right? Tony waggled a finger back and forth like a tiny windshield wiper. Look, man, the kind of sexual tension I been pickin up here, that doesnt come from nothin. So gimme a break, okay?
There was a pause while Cory drank more beer, then pursed his lips, steeling himself. There were long periods when we didnt see each other, he said at last, in a voice Tony had to lean closer to hear. She was in school in Georgia, I was working out of New York, on assignment a lot of the time. When we did manage to get together, it was like wed never been apart. Couldnt keep our hands off each other. It was he waved a helpless hand like touching a match to fireworks. Like dropping a torch in dry tinder. Like that. We couldnt seem to help ourselves.
Tony stared at him for a moment-probably in shock, Cory thought, to hear him give up so much personal stuff at once, and so easily. Then belatedly he nodded, as if in sympathy. Cory glanced at him, shifted in his seat and forced himself to go on.
Then, the time together would end, shed go back to Georgia, Id go back to New York, wed resume our lives. She had hers, I had mine. Not, he said wryly, that I didnt spend a lot of my time thinking about her when I wasnt with her. Id like to think she spent some time thinking about me. He paused for an absentminded sip of beer. I never asked her whether or not she dated anyone else when we were apart. I have to assume she did.
Tough way to run a relationship, Tony offered, shaking his head in sympathy.
Cory nodded, then shrugged. We both had other things on our minds, I guess. For me, I think it was a case ofI was just biding my time, keeping busy, traveling a lot, waiting for her to finish school. In the back of my mind was always the thought that once she graduated, wed find a way to work things so we could have a moreI dont know, steady relationship. Once again the wry grin stretched the unwilling muscles in his face. As it turned out, she had other ideas.
Tony was nodding, hunched over his beer, apparently staring at the front of Corys shirt. Things to seeplaces to gopeople touh.
Something like that. Cory lifted his beer glass, discovered it was empty and signaled the waiter with it instead. Her big thing was, she had her heart set on being a pilot, like her dad. Her mom wasnt going to hear of her joining the military, so off she went to flight school. Didnt take her long to get her private pilots license, and again I thoughtokay, maybe now. But after that He frowned, distracted by the waiters approach. When their order for two more of the same had been taken and the waiter had gone away again, he resumed. After flight school, she pretty much disappeared for a while.
Wait a minute. Disappeared? As inwent missing? Thats kind of freaky.
As in, dropped out of sight. Out of my life. Oh, Id get phone calls from her. Sometimes shed e-mail me. Always full of how much shehow much she missed me. But also how much she loved what she was doing, how exciting it all was, and that it was what shed always wanted to do. And if I happened to have some free time, lets say, and suggested we get together, she was always off somewhere training. Well, hell, he added bitterly as the waiter arrived with two fresh glasses of beer, a man can only take so much.
You got that right, said Tony stoutly, lifting his new glass in a salute.
When the waiter had been disposed of, Cory claimed his glass and leaned in, in a companionable sort of way. Hed been right about the beer; telling his story was definitely getting easier. I mean, Id been waiting for the woman for five years. Then, too, I wasnt getting any younger. You know, I was in my late thirties, approaching middle age, and Im feeling like theres something missing in my life. Im thinking maybe its time to be settling down, cut down on the travel, have some kids before Im too old to enjoy em. You know?
Tony was nodding again, like one of those little dogs people put in the back windows of their cars. You got the ol nesting urge. Happens. Hasnt happened to me, yet, but Ive heard about it.
So, right about thens when I met Karen.
Tony went on nodding. She caught you at a weak moment.
Yeah, said Cory gloomily, I guess. But he felt guilty even saying it. It had been a whole lot more complicated than that, but he didnt feel much like getting into it with Tony. Not now. Not with Sam back in his life and What was I thinking? the phrase uppermost in his mind.
After a moment he straightened himself up and said, Hey, Im not proud of it, okay? She was there and Sam wasnt, and after a while I convinced myself what I felt for Karen was love, and that made it all right, somehow. It was a case of somebody being in the right place at the right time. He tilted his head, considering that. Or, from her point of view, maybe the wrong place at the right time Anyway. So- he shrugged, drank beer, burped gently and waved his glass in a cestla vie gesture -I got married. End of story. Or anyway, you know the rest.
Uh-uh. Tonys head movements had changed direction. Not so fast. What about Samantha? Howd she take it, you going and getting married on her like that?
Cory gave him a sideways look. He was feeling defensive again. Come on. It wasnt like that. Not like I sent her a Dear John-or Jane-letter, if thats what youre thinking. Wed already agreed it was time to cut each other loosego our separate ways. I sure as hell didnt need herher permission.
Tony said, Humph, in a thoughtful way, then narrowed his eyes. Who called it off? You break up with her, or she break up with you?
What difference does it make? Cory said, squirming a little.
Helluva difference. The dumpee always carries a bigger grudge than the dumper. Its kind of a natural law.
Look, it wasnt like that, okay? Anyway, I dont know if I even remember.