That evening my radio was playing: Try a Little Tenderness and she burst into tears. Men are all mad, she told me. Whats he think hes doing, throwing food at me like I was something in the zoo. She went into her room and tossed Dickies photograph into the waste-paper basket. Half an hour later she put it back on her table, saying: Well. I suppose youre born stupid, you cant help it. Rose talked to that photograph as if to Dickie himself. When I went into her room, she might be sitting with a towel pinned around her shoulders, making up, chatting softly to him thus: Yes. And here I sit, wasting my time powdering my nose. Do you even notice if I put a new dress on? Not you. All you notice is, if I dont look well, you complain about that fast enough. The photograph was of a hard-faced, arrogant man Dan without Dans good nature.
Night after night Rose sat slumped into my big leather chair, sometimes until long after everyone else had gone to bed, which in that house was very late. She would not bear if I spoke to her. She lay back with her eyes closed, and under her eyes were heavy black bruises. If she spoke, it was to grumble steadily in a monologue: On my feet all day with that blasted Jewess. I said to her today. Look who does the work, you or me? Then get off that chair. Or buy another chair. Cant you afford five bob for a chair? Can you believe it, she wont get another chair into the shop in case I sit on it. She likes to think of me wearing out my feet for the money. And as for that husband of hers Rose was always anti-Semitic, in a tired tolerant sort of way. She was convinced that the Jews were all like her employers, who were the only Jewish people she had ever met. But now she was depressed, she talked like a minor Goebbels, and it was queer and frightening to hear the violent ugly phrases in Roses flat, good-natured, grumbling voice. But I got even with him today. I called him a dirty Jew to his face. He didnt like that. I said, I know about you, dont think I dont. You eat babies, you do, if the Government doesnt keep an eye on you.
You dont really believe that, do you?
Ill believe it if I want to, Id believe anything of that pair.
Then Im not going to listen.
Please yourself. But Ill sit here a bit, if you dont mind. Ive got the ump. Incidentally the aitch in ump was the only one she ever dropped; the radio had made her self-conscious. She even said: Ive got so silly, listening to those lardy-das on the wireless, if I drop an aitch I go right back and pick it up again. But having the ump was a recognized spiritual condition; Rose dropped the aitch humorously, as a middle-class person might.
I began to read. Rose watched me. I suggested it might be better if she read, instead of worrying about Dickie.
What I want is a book to tell me how to get sense into a mans head.
A few evenings later we were walking back from the pictures when she stooped to pick up a paperback that had been dropped on the pavement. Oooh, look, she said derisively. The picture on the cover was of a woman in a low-cut white satin dress, leaning back against a table in a state of urgent defence, clutching at the folds of her dress. Look at that, said Rose. Shes as good as being raped, but shes got time to worry about keeping her clothes clean. The man in the picture looked as if he were biting the womans ear. Thats a man all over, Rose said. Hes going to bite her ear off if she doesnt give him what he wants. Thats love all right. Im going to read it. She read the book as we walked home, remarking Just push me the way I should go. I cant keep my eyes off this, and thats a fact.
At home she arranged herself in my big chair and said: Just make a nice cup of tea and dont talk. I want to see if Lady Godiva gets into bed or not. From time to time shed look up to say: Hes just given her a watch with diamonds. He loves her for herself, he says. Now shes his secretary. She wants to help him with his career. Late that night she left my room saying: Were up to page 97, and hes already given her chocolates, a watch, a car and a mink coat. Shed better watch out. Well, Ill finish it tomorrow night, so dont you decide to go out. I like to have company when I read.
Next evening she snuggled herself into my chair with the book. I said: If you like those books, why dont you buy some?
Next evening she snuggled herself into my chair with the book. I said: If you like those books, why dont you buy some?
What, waste money on this silly stuff? No, it came my way, as you might say, so I dont mind. Besides, its giving me ideas about putting sense into Dickies head. At midnight she put the book down with a yawn, Well, believe it or not, they got married in the end. They didnt get into bed until the last page either. He said, your beautiful body, and she said: I want to feel your strong arms about me. I could do with a pair of strong arms myself, after all that. But I tell you what, Ive got an idea. You remember I said about my policeman? But its all right thinking about it, when it gets to saying yes to going out with him, I cant bring myself But if I get off a little with Jack, Floll tell Dickie, and no harm done. I can handle Jack.
Dont you be too sure.
Hes a kid. But Ive learned a thing or two from this book. She got diamonds and mink coats all right, but no ring, not until she played him up proper.
Rose descended thoughtfully to the basement. A few minutes later there were yells and raucous laughter from Flo. Rose ran upstairs, chased by Jack.
Go on, he said, whatre you scared of?
Think Id go to bed with a kid like you?
Then why were you kissing and hugging me just now?
Rose slammed the door. He swore. A few minutes later he scratched softly on my door and came in, Lend me some money, he said in an offhand way, not from rudeness but because he was hardly aware I existed. He took a pound, thanked me perfunctorily and crept out, his terrified little-boy eyes fixed on the door where his stepfather might emerge.
Rose came in, Floll tell Dickie, she said, so thats all right.
Not if she tells him the truth.
Rose giggled. Danll be mad now. He always goes on and on about never having paid a woman yet, as an example to Jack, so as to keep down the cost of living.
Next day Jack and Rose would not speak to each other, Flo watched the aloof faces with an appreciative grin. She kept winking at me and at Dan, and when Dan did not respond, raised her eyes and shrugged at the ceiling. She had not yet realized that Dan was really angry, particularly because she had taken her son aside and made him tell her the details of his nights adventures. Children have got to grow up, she kept saying, but Dan scowled and moved his feet under the table like a bull pawing at the earth. He sat in grim silence, his great powerful arms resting on the white cloth, and his heavy head turned to watch his wife, who flitted as usual at the stove end of the room, looking like a shaggy little dog with her bright inquisitive eyes under the tangle of hair. When he looked at Jack he was murderous. But Jack apparently did not notice, or pretended not to; he was glistening with triumph, taunting Rose, saying with an aggressive but pleased laugh: Whos a kid now?
At last Rose, who had been quiet and listless, said: Im going out to get some fresh air. She went out without looking at Jack. Flo ran after her and kissed her with a simple affection rare in her and said: Rose, dont take on so about everything. You take everything so serious.
Im going to the pictures, said Jack. It was much too late for the pictures and Dan raised his head loweringly to ask: And whos paying?
Jack said: She lent me a pound.
Who, Rose?
Jack looked at me and laughed.
More fool you, said Dan to me. And to Jack: If you do that again, you know whatll you get.
Youre not my father, said Jack, defying him.
Dan got up and slammed out of the basement. Ill kill the pair of you yet, he said.
Flo began to cry. Oh, my God, hes gone, hes left me, and its your fault, she said to Jack.
Well do all right without him, said Jack.
My God, said Flo, My God. And Ill kill you if you upset him again.
Later Jack came to knock on my door for some more money. I refused. He had expected this, and now knocked on Roses door.
Get away, came her muffled voice: she was crying.
Lend me a pound, said Jack, shaking with triumphant laughter.
Go and hang yourself.
Next morning Flo was so angry she smashed a cup on the draining-board setting it down. That kid. Last night he pretended to go to bed as usual, then he took my coal money and went out. Ill give him women. But dont tell Dan, darling. Please dont. Hell hit him again and then lack wont be a nice witness for our case.
What is this case you all keep talking about?
Oh, my Lord! said Flo, putting her hand over her mouth. Dand kill me if he knew Id said anything to you.
Now you have, why dont you tell me.
Oh, dont ask me. Well tell you. Really we will. But dont ask me. Theres enough trouble with Jack and Dan without Dans getting angry with me for opening my mouth when I shouldnt.
That evening Rose asserted her rights as a neighbour by saying: Im going for a walk. And youre coming, too. Her mood had changed. She was aggressive and challenging. Were going to take a bus, and then well see.
She got off the bus at the Bayswater Road. It was summer, and it was lined with dusty trees and so thick with prostitutes they stood in groups along the pavements. I dont like coming here most times, said Rose. But tonight I feel different. We walked slowly along, and Rose glared angrily into the faces of the waiting girls until she got a defensive stare back.
Whats this for? I said.
They make me sick, said Rose. She was trembling with rage.
I tried to turn her off into the Gardens, but she held my arm tight and made me go with her. Dirty beasts, she said. Look at them, hanging about, a pound a time, when I think I want to vomit. At last she got tired, and turned spontaneously off into the Park. We went to the Round Pond, which was nearly deserted: a few small boys waded along its verges with nets and tins full of tiddlers. It was dusk now; the pond lay in a dull leaden sheet; the trees stood quiet and leafy; and Rose stared into the water and said: Sometimes I think Ill throw myself in.