Mama turned to look at her, her eyes widening as if she were surprised to see Kristen. When did you get up, baby?
Kristen stumbled backward. I need to go get dressed.
Have breakfast first. Mama scraped the spatula on the edge of the pan. Its almost ready. Go get yourself a bowl.
Afraid to disobey, Kristen crossed to the cabinet next to the stove, her knees shaking, and retrieved a plastic cereal bowl. She started to set the bowl down beside her mother, but Mama grabbed her hand, leaving a smear of blood on Kristens wrist.
Hold it still while I scoop. Mamas voice was unbearably calm. Kristens hand shook as Mama scooped up hot oatmeal with the spatula. Chunks of hot cereal spilled through the fleur-de-lis cutout, splashing on Kristens hand.
Ow! She tried to jerk her hand away but Mamas grip tightened.
Why are you such a big baby? Her mothers voice rose hysterically. She shoved the pan off the eye and set the spatula down over the flame. Oatmeal caught fire and burned to carbon, blackening the spatula.
Mama, no-
Miss Kristen?
The tiny voice caught her by surprise. She looked away from the madness in Mamas eyes and saw Maddy Cooper standing in the kitchen doorway, dressed in blue Winnie the Pooh pajamas and carrying a battered gray stuffed raccoon.
Maddy- Terror gripped her, crushing her heart until she could barely feel it beating. She had to get Maddy out of here, away from Mama, before-
Pain seared the back of her hand. She cried out and turned to look at Mama. But Mama was looking at Maddy, a gleam of excitement in her mad blue eyes.
You brought her to see me, Kristy. Just like I asked.
Kristen pulled her aching hand away and grabbed for the knife. But Mama reached it first.
Kristen threw herself in front of Maddy, covering the child with her whole body.
No, Mama. Please!
Maddy wriggled against her. Miss Kristen, wake up!
KRISTEN JERKED AWAKE, her heart scampering like a jackrabbit in her chest. A shaft of light poured in from the half-open door, illuminating the dim room.
And her arms were wrapped tightly around a flailing Maddy Cooper.
Chapter Thirteen
Kristen loosened her grip, and Maddy looked up at her, a comical look of surprise on her face. You squeezed too tight!
Im sorry, sweetie. She stroked Maddys hair, relief washing over her in enervating waves. I must have been dreaming. What are you doing here?
Maddy cuddled close, her sweet baby scent enveloping Kristen, as tangible as a touch. I heard you crying. I brought Bandit to make you feel better. She held up the well-worn plush raccoon that was her favorite toy, as Kristen had quickly learned.
Kristen kissed the little girls warm forehead, closing her eyes against the lingering images of her nightmare. She could still feel the bone-deep pain of the burn on the back of her hand, but she ignored it. It was a phantom, long gone.
Right here, right now, she was safe. And so was Maddy.
Footsteps sounded in the hallway, and Sam Coopers tall, broad body filled the doorway. He wore only a pair of black silk boxer shorts and a white T-shirt that hed apparently just thrown on, if the twisted fabric was anything to go by.
Everything okay? he asked, his blue eyes dark with worry.
Everythings fine, she assured him.
He entered the bedroom. Maddycakes, time to get back in your bed.
Let her stay a little longer, Kristen blurted, as surprised by the words as Sam seemed to be.
Are you sure?
Im sure. Maddy was already starting to get drowsy-eyed. Shed be asleep in no time, and Kristen could take her back to her bed. Right now, however, she needed to feel Maddys warm little body tucked safely next to her to drive away the last, lingering wisps of her nightmare.
Ill take her back to her bed when she falls asleep, she added softly when Sam made no move to leave the bedroom.
He hesitated a moment longer, his gaze appraising. Okay, he said finally. Night again, Maddycakes.
Night, Daddy! Maddy snuggled closer to Kristen.
Kristen watched Sam leave, understanding his reluctance. She hadnt given him much reason to trust her maternal instincts, and he had to be worrying that Maddy would get hurt in the long run.
Kristen had worried about that herself, knowing that the child was already becoming attached to her. But the case would be over soon-possibly was over already, if they could tie up all the loose ends of the case against Darryl Morris. Then shed move to another case and be out of Sams and Maddys lives for good.
Hot tears hammered at the back of her eyes at the thought of saying goodbye to them, but she fought the emotion, knowing a clean break was the right thing to do, no matter how painful. If her visit with her mother had done anything, it had convinced Kristen that shed been right all these years to avoid motherhood as though it was a disease.
Except she was the disease, not motherhood. She was the one with insanity in her genes and a maternal role model wretched enough to make the very notion of having children an unbearably bad risk.
Miss Kristen, do you know any songs? Maddys sleepy voice pulled her out of her bleak thoughts.
She pasted on a smile. Im not much of a singer. Why dont you start, and if I know the song, Ill sing along.
Okay! Maddy smiled and propped herself up against Kristens arm. She thought a moment, then started singing Old McDonald Had a Farm. By the time they got to the sillier farm animals, Kristen found herself laughing as hard as Maddy.
Okay, next ones gotta be a lullaby, bug, she told Maddy as the little girls giggles finally subsided. She put her arm around Maddy and tucked her close. A tune from the distant past drifted into her mind, a reminder of a simpler, sweeter time. As Maddy snuggled against her, she started singing.
River rolls closer, near the green hills. Reaches for the moon, but the moon stands still. Moon stands still while the river runs, waiting in the dark for Mr. Sun.
Maddys eyes closed as Kristen repeated the same verse, the only one she could remember. It had been a silly song shed made up to sing Julie to sleep. Shed forgotten it until just now, maybe because shed spent so much time trying to forget the horrors of that last day with her brothers and sisters that shed buried the good memories, too.
Maddy drifted off to sleep just as a flood of emotions started to break through the fortifications Kristen had built up in her mind over the last fifteen years. A hundred images swam through her thoughts, for the first time in a long time more sweet than bitter. Blinking back tears, she picked up Maddy and carried her back to her room, settling her under the covers.
Maddy turned over, her sweet face burrowing into her pillow. Kristen felt a smile breaking through her sadness as she slipped from the room, closing the door behind her.
She asleep?
Sams voice, emerging from the darkness of the hallway, was a shock to her system. She pressed her hand over her chest, acutely aware that she hadnt even bothered to throw on a robe over the tank top and silk shorts shed worn to bed.
Yes, she answered, starting to sidle past him to her room. But he caught her arm, keeping her in place. Sparks ignited along her spine, radiating out from where his big, warm hand closed over her bare arm.
Good, he said. Because we need to talk.
She eyed him warily. About what?
About where you went this afternoon. Sam caught her chin, forcing her gaze up to meet his. You went to see your mother, didnt you?
Her heart skipped a beat. What makes you think that?
Carl Madison called to check on you while you were in the shower. He was worried he couldnt get you on your cell phone and wondered if seeing your mother again had been too much for you. Sam ran his thumb over the curve of her chin. Was it?
Kristen glanced at Maddys bedroom door. Do we have to talk about this tonight?
He dropped his hand. Not if you dont want to.
She threw him an exasperated look, hating how much she wanted to tell him everything shed been through that day. Right now, a pair of warm, strong arms wrapped around her seemed like the most necessary thing in the world.
She settled for admitting, I didnt think I wanted to.
But now you do?
She made a growling noise deep in her throat and walked away, heading for the darkened living room. Her shin made contact with the end table by the sofa, sending pain shooting up her leg. She uttered a quiet, heartfelt curse and fumbled for the lamp switch. A twist of the knob later, lamplight flooded half the room, illuminating the sofa.
With a sigh of surrender, Kristen turned to look at Sam. A couple of days ago, my mothers doctor called Carl, asking for me. He told Carl my mother wanted to see me.
And Carl called you, Sam guessed correctly. That was the call you took the day Norah arrived, right? The one that had you so upset.
She briefly considered arguing with him about his assessment of her mood that day, but he was right. The call had scared the hell out of her, among other things.
She slumped onto the nearest sofa cushion, wrapping her arms around herself. I told Carl I didnt want to see her.
I remember.
She licked her lips. But the doctor called me today.
Sam sat beside her, careful to leave her plenty of space, she noticed bleakly. Apparently she was giving off major dont touch vibes.
Is it the first time youve seen her since she was committed? he asked gently.
She met his curious gaze, her lips twisting in a wry smile. Yeah. Probably the last, too.
Why did you decide to see her after all this time?
She supposed it wouldnt hurt to tell him about Bryant Thompson. She reached for the jacket shed left draped over the arm of the sofa and pulled the clipping from the pocket. Because of this.
Sam frowned as he took in the article. I thought you said it wasnt related to the attempted kidnapping.
I dont think it is. Someone visited my mother yesterday, out of the blue. He brought her this photo.
Sam looked puzzled. Who would do that? And why?
Thats what Im going to have to find out. She took back the clipping and put it in her pocket. But thats my mystery, not yours. The last thing she wanted to do was involve Sam in her life any more than he was already, not when she was on the verge of walking away for good.