A clean break would be better for everyone, right?
You helped me with mine. Maybe I could help you with yours, he offered.
She had to smile at the offer. How do you plan to do that, Sherlock?
He brushed a lock of hair away from her cheek. Her smile faded, replaced by a tremble in her lips that had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with the crackling heat simmering low in her belly. Maybe we could start with why seeing your mother after all this time bothered you so much, he murmured.
She grimaced, trying not to lean any closer to him. Thats not really a mystery, is it?
Do you ever talk about what happened to you?
She shook her head. Not if I can help it.
But you still think about it.
Every day. She sighed. Look, Sam, I appreciate what youre trying to do here. But there are some things I cant- She broke off with a wince, unable to find the words.
In his eyes, she saw his internal struggle. He wanted to help her-she saw the urge so clearly that she found herself feeling sorry for him. Poor Sam, trying to break through a decade and a half of walls shed built to protect herself, she thought. She loved him a little bit for it, even though she wasnt sure shed ever let those walls fall completely.
Silence stretched between them, taut and uncomfortable. Kristen closed her fingers around her knees, squeezing tightly as she struggled against the tears burning behind her eyes. She felt words hammering the back of her throat, struggling to find a voice, but she had no idea what to say.
When she finally opened her mouth and let the words spill out, they were the last thing she expected. My mother asked me to bring Maddy to see her.
What?
She turned to look at him, hating herself for putting that look of horror on his face. Forget it. It doesnt matter. Im not going to see her again.
Why did she want to see Maddy? Why did she think youd ever do such a thing?
Kristen scraped her hair away from her face. Shes crazy, Sam. She looked at that newspaper clipping and thats what she got out of it. That I had access to your four-year-old daughter and I could bring Maddy by to see her.
She could see Sam floundering for a response to such madness. How-what-?
She could see Sam floundering for a response to such madness. How-what-?
She gave a huff of brittle, mirthless laughter. Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Her laughter died in her throat as the nightmare of her past swooped in like a vulture, feeding off her pain. She said she missed her little ones so much.
Sam looked sick. My God.
The tears shed been fighting reached critical mass, spilling over her lower eyelids and trickling down her cheeks in hot streaks. She thought- She had to stop, swallowing hard before starting again, her voice low and choked. She thought Id bring Maddy there to her because she missed her babies. The babies she stabbed to death and left bleeding where they lay. She broke off with a soft, bleating sob.
Oh, honey. Sam wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. She turned, burying her face against his throat, needing the warm, solid strength of his body against hers more than shed expected.
She cried wordlessly a few seconds, then pulled back, wiping at the tears with her knuckles. I dont know how much you know about what happened-
Just a few things people told me, he admitted.
Shed always been, I dont knowscattered. Not very dependable. I dont really remember if she was always that way or if it just started after my father left us. I just know I was eight years old and suddenly I was the mommy of the household. Shed been so scared, as the days turned into weeks and she realized that her mothers little spells werent going to go away. I made lunch for the little ones, and if there were dishes to be washed or clothes to be laundered, I did most of that, too. Mama would do things if I asked her to, but she never seemed to think of them herself.
Sam made a low, murmuring sound of encouragement. That must have been so hard for you.
She pushed her hair back from her damp face. She kept telling me that I had to help her keep things together or the government would take us all away from her and split us up.
There was nobody to look out for you and your brothers and sisters? Sam asked, his voice unspeakably sad.
My grandparents on my mothers side were dead, and I never had anything to do with my fathers parents. I couldnt even tell you their names. She unclenched her fingers, flexing them in front of her. They felt cold and numb. I did everything I could to keep the neighbors and our teachers from finding out how bad it was, because I was terrified the social workers would separate us. She gave another soft, defeated sob. I should have let them. Wed all still be alive.
He shook his head. You were a kid. You didnt know how bad it would get. Apparently nobody did.
I should have gotten help for us. I should have- She ended on a little noise of frustration, just as she always did when she thought about the past, about the mistakes shed made. I should have done something.
You did. You took care of your brothers and sisters when nobody else did.
I didnt protect them from the one thing I should have, she whispered. I didnt protect them from her.
Sam took her hand in his, squeezing her fingers gently. Whenever someone you love dies unexpectedly, you wonder what you could have done differently.
She shook her head, frustrated. Its not the same-
Isnt it? My sister-in-law died eight years ago. Murdered. J.D. was in the navy at the time, away at sea. I know he wonders if being here instead would have changed things. My brother Gabe was late going to check on her when she called him with car trouble. He got there a few minutes after she was killed, just in time to find her body. Hes still working through his guilt about that.
They didnt know someone was going to kill her. But I knew my mother was insane.
Insanity and murder are two different things, Kristen. He cupped her chin, his touch gentle but firm. Your mother didnt abuse you physically, did she?
She shook her head. Until the day she snapped, Molly Tandys crimes against her children had been emotional rather than physical.
Then how could you have known?
I just should have. She pulled away from his touch, not ready to be comforted. Shed spent too many years going over and over that day in her mind to be easily mollified by Sams reasonable words. She stood up, rubbing her tired eyes. Its late, Sam, and weve had a long day. Cant we table this for later?
Sam looked inclined to argue, but she didnt give him a chance, heading down the hall toward the bedroom before he could speak. She closed herself inside the darkened room, pressing her ear to the door until she heard Sams footsteps in the hall.
For a moment, the urge to fling the door open and invite him inside for the night was so tempting that she dropped her hand to the doorknob, making it rattle softly. Outside, Sams footsteps halted, and she wondered if hed heard the noise.
She heard the faintest sound, as if Sam had placed his hand on the other side of the door. She leaned her head closer and imagined she could hear him breathing.
Was he leaning against the door the way she was? Did he want to come in as much as she wanted him to?
After a moment, she heard his footsteps move down the hall. His door opened and closed, and she slumped against the door, releasing a pent-up breath.
The one thing she couldnt afford was false hope for a life forever out of her grasp. Hot, sweaty sex with Sam Cooper might take her mind off her problems for a couple of hours, but nothing-and no one-could make her past disappear for good. Not even Sam and his beautiful little daughter.
The sooner she brought this case to an end, the better.
Chapter Fourteen
Kristen was dressed and on the phone when Sam walked into the guesthouse living room around 6:00 a.m. the next morning. She waved at the coffeepot on the counter and continued her conversation. No, I agree. The evidence is pretty solid.
Sam poured a cup of coffee and leaned against the breakfast bar, taking advantage of a rare opportunity to watch Kristen without her paying attention. Though it was early Saturday morning, she was already dressed for work in a pair of charcoal trousers and a pale blue tailored blouse that did nothing to hide her sleek curves. As she turned to reach for a bowl in the cabinet by the sink, he caught sight of her waistband holster with her Ruger tucked inside.
The combination of feminine beauty and deadly firepower was unspeakably sexy, he thought with a grin.
Kristen tossed a glance over her shoulder, gesturing to the bowls in the cabinet. He nodded, and she pulled another one down for him.
Ill be in the office around seven-thirty. See you then. Kristen closed her phone and dropped it in her trousers pocket.
Foley? Sam asked.
She nodded, handing him one of the bowls. Were going to hand Darryl Morris over to the Birmingham Police this morning. A detective should be here around eight to transport him back to the city.
Then I guess that means Maddy can go back to preschool Monday morning, he said, his relief palpable.
Kristens brow furrowed. I suppose that would be okay.
Her frown gave him an uneasy feeling. Youre not having doubts about Darryl Morriss guilt, are you?
No. He took the photos. He delivered them to your office. Hes admitted that.
And what about the man he claims paid him to do it?
Theres no evidence such a man even exists, she answered firmly. Morris has a grudge against you, and the things hes admitted to are pretty damning.
She was right. He knew she was. He was just leery about taking any chances with Maddys safety.
But they had to start living a normal life again sooner or later. Putting Maddy back into preschool was a good first step. Shed be happy to see her friends again, he knew; she talked about them all the time.
He opened the cabinet under the cutlery drawer and peered at the cereal choices. His mother had stocked the pantry with entirely too many sugary choices, but he supposed thats what grandparents did with their grandchildren. In the back, he found a box of toasted wheat flakes. Reasonably nutritious.