Where in the world were you that it took so long to get medical care?
Just this side of hell.
Hmm. That was certainly an evasive answer. But the shadows in his eyes were much more informative. She would bet the farm that the circumstances of his getting shot were floating through his mind and putting that grim line of white around his mouth. In an effort to get him to talk some more, or at least to lighten his mood, she asked, Howd the other guy fare?
John all but collapsed in front of her. The strong, competent, in-control man before her crumpled in on himself, crossing his arms over his chest in what almost looked like a hug of agony. What on Gods green earth could cause a man like John Hollister this much pain? Had he killed someone? If he had, shed also bet it had been a bad guy, or had been an accident. He was far too honorable, too decent a man to have shot down anyone in cold blood with or without damned good reason.
Talk to me, John. What happened? You can tell me. Im a doctor. Ill treat it with patient confidentiality if you need me to.
The muscles beneath her hands turned to bands of tempered steel all of a sudden. He jerked away from her, spinning to face her. Whoa. Abruptly, his grief transformed into something dangerous. Dark. Lethal. He stared down at her with the blank, cold eyes of a killer. She recoiled sharply. Who was this man? He bore no resemblance whatsoever to the man whod laughed and made love with her so recently. This man was terrifying.
Dont ask me that again, he answered from between gritted teeth.
Frightened, she nodded up at him. Surely the man she knew and lusted after was in there somewhere. But he was buried very deep at the moment.
Apparently, he realized how badly hed scared her, for he made a concerted effort to lower his shoulders. He even attempted a smile for her. He failed, and only produced a brief grimace, but it signaled the return of the moderately sane man behind the killer.
Her fear subsided somewhat, but she continued to eye him cautiously.
He ground out, Thanks for your concern, Doc. But Ive got it handled.
Right. And she was the Easter bunny. He stepped away from her and headed around the front of the Land Rover.
Get in, he ordered from the other side of the vehicle.
Thoughtfully, she did as he said. He started the engine and pulled away grimly into the night.
Chapter 6
John didnt know what time it was when he finally pulled off the dirt road and hid the Land Rover behind a thick clump of bushes and vines. Melina disappeared into the darkness to relieve herself with strict orders not to go far. Meanwhile, he pulled armfuls of the vines across the top of the Land Rover, further disguising its presence. When he was satisfied that even a thorough look at this spot wouldnt reveal the vehicle, he moved their gear up to the front passenger seat, folded down the rear seats, and made a makeshift bed for them out of a couple blankets and her soft-sided suitcase full of clothes for a pillow.
Hed slept in worse. A personal favorite was the op hed led in a Turkish sewer-running with raw sewage. It had taken him a month to get rid of the stink and longer to get the taste of that mission out of his mouth. But theyd gotten the kill, and one less psychopath was loose upon the world. And not one of his guys had complained about the conditions. It was the only approach to the target, so theyd sucked it up and gotten the job done. Good men. Dead men
Whatchya lookin at?
He jumped violently at Melinas cheerful voice behind him.
He jumped violently at Melinas cheerful voice behind him.
Easy, Cowboy, she murmured. Its just me.
Afraid shed do that disconcerting thing again where she looked into his soul and stripped him bare, he mumbled, Which half of the bed do you want?
As in left/right or top/bottom?
His gaze snapped to her in surprise. He commented cautiously, Most women find a good car chase and getting shot at too scary to be turned on by it.
She shrugged. Lifes short. Why waste a little privacy and a hot guy?
He didnt know whether to laugh at her forwardness or be depressed that he was only some convenient stud for her. Faintly alarmed that he actually gave a damn what she thought of him, he settled for arching an eyebrow. Hot, huh?
She flashed a coquettish dimple. Want me to show you how hot?
The laugh won out and he chuckled. Naughty and she likes to play doctor. Youre some woman. The kind of woman who could make an honest man out of him. In different circumstances, of course. Another time and place, before his life went to hell and he forgot to die before he went there.
She tossed her head, sending her honey hair bouncing around her shoulders. Thats what they all say.
The undertone of dishonesty in her voice caught his attention. Not a lot of men in her life, huh? A surge of possessive pleasure startled him. He might not be able to keep her for the long term, but for the moment, she was his. And because that seemed like enough for her, he wasnt going to feel too guilty about taking advantage of her.
He took a step forward and laid his hands on her slender waist. His fingers didnt quite span it, but he didnt fail by much. You dont have much to do with men, do you?
She blinked up at him in surprise. Why do you say that?
He gazed down at her, the thick blanket of night wrapping around them, hiding them from the rest of the world. Youre not jaded enough. Which probably means you havent made the rounds of the dating scene a whole lot. But then he cocked his head, studying her further. Or maybe its that youre so jaded youve checked out on romance completely. Us guys do a number on beautiful women like you. Mess with your heads. By the time youve been dating for a few years, you start to get cynical. You swear off men for the most part. Which camp do you fall into?
Momentary surprise flickered across her face. Uh-huh. Hed gotten it right on the second guess. She was one of those women whom men wouldnt leave alone. He murmured almost to himself, But I think there may still be hope for you.
What in the world makes you think that? she asked, far too casually.
So, shed declared herself lost long ago, had she? You looked into my eyes last night. And you let me look into yours. Thats a dangerous thing.
Dangerous?
He shrugged. It takes guts to let someone look into your soul.
You looked into my soul? she asked, in what sounded suspiciously like dismay. What did you see?
Honestly?
She nodded up at him, her eyes dark and shuttered. Was she aware that her fingers were twisted in the front of his shirt, clutching almost violently at the cotton fabric? He reached up to save his shirt from a premature shredding, gently disentangling her fingers. You can turn my shirt loose now.
Youre stalling, she accused. What did you see?
He sighed. Probably the same thing you saw in my eyes.
Which was?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
She went still all over, absorbing that with a pained intensity that surprised even him-and hed been expecting her not to like his observation. She spun away, staring out into the night, which was to say, she was looking at nothing. It was damned dark out here, and there wasnt anything to see in this gloom anyway but a bunch of rocks and scrawny trees.
He opened the Land Rovers rear hatch and said, Climb in. We both could use some rest.
Youre not going to insist on one of us standing guard while the other one sleeps? she asked in surprise.
Im a light sleeper. Usually. Too bad he hadnt been sleeping light the night of the ambush. Maybe a few more of his men would still be alive today if hed heard the Taliban patrol sneak up on their position. Hell, maybe theyd all be alive. Sure, thered been other guys standing guard. But he was the commander. Ultimately responsible for all their lives. And hed been asleep on the job. Hell, unconscious on the job.
He blinked away the nightmare swimming before his eyes yet again, and instead of seeing his mens bloody corpses, he was suddenly staring at a denim-cupped, juicy tush that would make any grown man sweat. He silently cursed himself as Melina crawled into the back of the Land Rover. He didnt deserve even one seconds pleasure in this life while his men lay six feet under.
She took the passengers side of the back, and he took the drivers side. They tossed and turned until they finally settled into positions of rough comfort. He propped his head and shoulders on her suitcase, and she curled up against his side, tucked under his outstretched arm, her head resting on his shoulder, her knee nestled far too comfortably against his groin. His bent knees flopped against the tire housing and the ribs of the truck bed only mildly dug into his back.
Damn, he could really use a pile of sleeping pills right about now.
And as soon as the thought entered his mind, there was no dislodging it. He couldnt think about anything but the sweet relief of chemically induced nothingness coursing through his veins, wiping away everything in its path. Blessed oblivion, come to Papa
Except a freaking doctor was lying on top of his arm, effectively trapping him in more than one way. Whod have guessed the hot chick in a short skirt whod sashayed into Pirate Petes was an M.D.? He swore under his breath at his rotten luck.
John?
Hmm?
Are you scared?
Hell yes, he was scared! Scared he couldnt make it through the night without his pills, scared hed get another nightmare and wake up screaming or worse, crying like a baby. The shrinks said the nightmares would go away with time, but it had been months, and they were as vivid as ever, dammit. He really didnt need to embarrass himself in front of Melina.
Lying his ass off, he answered, Nah, nothing scares me. Why? Are you?
A small nod against his shoulder.
Why? He asked as gently as he could, infusing that simple question with as little interest as he could muster. Didnt want to scare her off completely of talking to him. And after his nearly violent outburst with her earlier, hed better soft-shoe around her for a while. Hed seen the stark terror in her eyes when she looked at him, and it hadnt been pretty. He cursed himself yet again for putting that look in her eyes. He hurt everyone who got near him, dammit. He had no intention of killing her, too.