Half a drop? Em said. Because Kaylee went bat-shit crazy on a full drop.
I did not
Yeah. Half a drop, as instructed. Sabine spoke over me. But Im telling you, this whole thing would be much more entertainingand would go a lot fasterif youd let me really dose her.
No. I know you enjoy your work, but the object isnt to drive her nuts.
Sabine huffed. Speak for yourself. Then she shrugged. At least Im getting a decent bedtime snack out of this. Because she was feeding from Sophies relevant fears as part of the process.
Em chuckled, staring into her cup. I cant believe you put real sugar in her coffee. Shed kill you if she knew it wasnt calorie-free sweetener.
Here. Nash slid the notepad back to me. Thats all I can remember.
I glanced at the list. Thats only three names.
He shrugged and sipped his coffee. If I had more, Id give them to you.
Thanks. I turned to Em. What about you? Did you see Doug hang out with anyone in particular?
Yeah. She shrugged. Half the school. But I never even saw him with a balloon. Which is what theyd used to store frost in. Which was kind of...my idea. Though Id never intended to contribute to the ease of drug trafficking when Id thought of it.
Hey, Kaylee, can I talk to you for a minute? I twisted in my chair to see Chelsea Simms holding a green paper folder.
Sure. I shoved the notepad into my bag, picked up my coffee, and stood. Ill see you guys at lunch. Sabine, Nash, and Emma nodded, and I followed Chelsea into the hall.
She opened the folder as we walked in the general direction of our first-period math class, then pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to me. I just wanted to show you this. It was a screen print from some kind of layout program. Its for her memorial page in the yearbook.
In the center was a candid shot of Emma at a football game, from the fall semester. Her cheeks were red from the cold and she wore a green scarf; her thick, golden hair was flying over her shoulder in the wind. She looked happy.
In the center was a candid shot of Emma at a football game, from the fall semester. Her cheeks were red from the cold and she wore a green scarf; her thick, golden hair was flying over her shoulder in the wind. She looked happy.
She looked alive.
In that moment, I understood what Emma had lost, beyond her family, her clothes, her car, and the future shed always assumed shed have. Shed lost herself.
Id met Emma in the third grade, and in all the time Id known her, I couldnt remember her ever lacking confidence or self-esteem before Id exposed her to truths about the world no human should have to deal with. Shed always known who she was and where she fit into the world. Shed known what she wanted to do with her lifeeven if that changed on a monthly basisand exactly what she was capable of.
She had none of that now, and even if I spent my entire afterlife trying to make that up to her, I could never give her back what shed lost. Ever. The best I could do was help her adjust to the life she had now. Show her that she still had her friends, and that this new life could still be a good one.
But I couldnt do that with Avari always two steps behind us. I couldnt honestly tell her that life was still worth living if we were always looking over our shoulders to evade death and eternal torture. I had to get rid of Avari and the rest of the hellions not just to avenge Ems death, and those whod gone before her, but to make sure that the life she had left was more than just the constant struggle to hold on to it.
Do you think shed like it? Chelsea asked, and I realized wed stopped walking several doors away from our classroom. And that my hand was clenched around the printout, my knuckles white from the strain.
Yeah. Its beautiful. I think shell love it.
Chelsea gave me a confused look, and it took me a second to realize Id referred to Em in present tense. Again.
I mean, if she were still here. Which shes not, obviously. Because she died. But if she hadnt, I have no doubt that Emma would love this yearbook memorial page.
Chapter Six
I hate it. Em set the memorial page printout on the picnic table and pinned it with her soda can.
Hate what? Nash put his tray down, Sabine set hers next to it, and they sank onto the bench across from me and Em.
My yearbook memorial page.
Thats what Chelsea wanted to show me this morning. I leaned across the table and took an apple wedge from Nashs tray. I wasnt hungry, but if I never ate anything at lunch, people would start to notice, and he rarely bothered with the fruit anyway.
Sabine unscrewed the top on a bottle of flavored water from the vending machine. Whats wrong with it?
Emma rotated the page beneath her can so they could see it. The layout is simplistic and too symmetrical, the quote they picked says nothing about me, and Id complain that the pictures too small, except that its a horrible shot of me anyway.
What are you talking about? You look great! I frowned, studying her. Are you channeling someones anger again?
Not that I know of. Anyway, Im not mad. I just hate that picture.
Oh, that may be my doing, Sabine said around a bite of cheese-slathered corn chip. Ems afraid shell never look that good, so I thought this might be a good time to amp up her insecurity and vanity by feeding that fear. Tastes pretty good, too. She washed her bite down with a gulp of water. Want me to stop?
No. Its fine. Em sat with a pout and turned the printout over, so she couldnt see her own face. Her own former face. And suddenly I felt bad for showing it to her. Id thought it would make her feel better to know how much people cared. How much they missed her. Instead, Id reminded her of what shed lost. Again.
Your dad snuck out of my house at two this morning, Nash said. I glanced up in confusion to find my cousin and her necromancer boyfriend only a few feet away, carrying their lunch. Sophie looked sick.
Whoa, really? Luca glanced from Nash to Sophie, who scowled and dropped her tray on the table so hard that her orange bounced into a plastic cup of cottage cheese. This is the man who threatened to make sure I could never sire children if he ever caught me at your house past nine oclock?
The very same. Sophie sat and started scraping cheese off her orange with a plastic spork. And that wasnt an idle threat. Turns out I also have three older half brotherslike, way olderwho would cut off anything you let dangle if they knew half of
Luca put a hand over her mouth, and I swear he looked suddenly pale. Well, then lets not tell them. He frowned and dropped his hand. Wait, what do you mean, it turns out you have older brothers?
She shrugged. My dad couldnt tell me about them until I knew he was a bean sidhe, because theyre in their sixties but they look, like, twenty-five. Like they could be my uncles. But they all have grandkids.
Wait a minute. Sabine scowled at Nash, and the sun seemed to fade a little. I cant stay the night at your place, but Sophies dad can? How is that fair?
Hows what fair?
Tod appeared out of nowhere and sat next to me on the bench. He slid one arm around my waist, and it took all the self-control I had not to lean over and kiss him. Which I couldnt do without looking crazy to the hundred or so other students in the quad who couldnt see him.
Em leaned forward to fill him in. Your moms sleeping with Sophies dad, and Sabine thinks
Whoa... Tod clamped both hands over his ears. I dont ever need to hear that sentence again. No need to finish it, either.
At least we agree on something, Nash mumbled, ripping the crust from a slice of cafeteria pizza.
Sabine planted both palms flat on the table. My point is that it isnt fair that he can come and go as he pleasesno pun intended
Everyone at our table groaned in unison, and Nash looked more than a little nauseated.
butand I am not kiddingI now have a nine oclock curfew. Seriously. Nine oclock! I am a creature of the night! You cant impose a curfew on a living Nightmare! What am I supposed to do for the ten hours after lockdown? Maras only need four hours of sleep. Who the hell is he to tell me when I can and cant leave the house?
Your legal guardian. Sophie sank her thumbnail through the skin of her orange and began to peel it. Officially, as of eleven this morning. He called to tell me when he finished Influencing the juvenile court judge over brunch. I was supposed to tell you, but you know. She shrugged. I didnt.
Sabines eyes narrowed and her mouth opened, no doubt ready to spew several inventive and highly entertaining threats aimed at Sophie, but before she could say anything, Luca cleared his throat and smiled at Emma. Your hair looks nice today. All smooth and shiny.
Thanks. Ems eyes lit up, and her smile made me want to smile back. It was a very nice change from the previous days lunch.
Sophie glared daggers at her. Keratin treatment and some Frizz-Ease. Its not rocket science.
I glanced at Sabine in silent question, and she nodded. She was amplifying Sophies fears to heighten her envy of...anyone Luca so much as looked at.
I glanced at Sabine in silent question, and she nodded. She was amplifying Sophies fears to heighten her envy of...anyone Luca so much as looked at.
Kaylee Cavanaugh? a new voice said, and we all turned to see a sophomore whose name I couldnt remember standing at the end of our table, holding a slip of paper out to me. Are you Kaylee Cavanaugh?
Yeah. As if she didnt know. Everyone in school knew who I was. Everyone within a hundred-mile radius knew who I was. I was the girl stabbed in her own bed by her evil math teacher. Not that most people knew Mr. Beck was actually evil, instead of just your average psychotic pedophile.
They want you in the counselors office.
Crap. Okay. Thanks. I took the slip of paper from hermy official summonsand when the sophomore walked away, I turned back to the rest of the table. I completely forgot my appointment. Turns out that when youre nearly fatally stabbed, then lose your best friend in a freak park-swing accident less than a month later, the school guidance counselor likes to keep tabs on you.