Want me to come? Tod ran his hand up my back, over my shirt. If you keep her busy, I could convert the filing system from alphabetical to most deserving of psychiatric help. He leaned closer, and I knew no one else would hear whatever came out of his mouth next. Ive been meaning to make some special notations in Nashs file anyway. Imagine the level of help he could receive if they knew the root of his recent academic decline was a deep-seated fear of the letter Q.
I laughed. I couldnt help it. And though everyone else at the table looked curious, no one asked what Tod had said. They were finally starting to learn. Thanks, but its hard enough to take grief counseling seriously without you singing Living Dead Girl at the top of your lungs behind the counselors back.
You mock one grief counselor, and youre branded for life, he mumbled. Er...afterlife. I have a shift at the pizza place this afternoon, but Ill pop in when I get a chance. Tod kissed my cheekthe most we could get away with while only one of us was invisiblethen disappeared. I grabbed my bag, said goodbye to my friends, then headed for the counselors office.
Our school had two counselors, one for the first half of the alphabet and one for the last half. During lunch, the waiting room they shared was nearly empty.
You can go in, the student aide said when the outer door had closed behind me. Shes been waiting for you.
Because I was eighteen minutes late.
I trudged into Ms. Hirschs office, trying to summon an expression appropriate for someone whod just lost her best friend. Nuance was important. My grief had to fall somewhere between sobbing, devastated heap and Emma who? I knew from experience that either of the extremes would only get me sentenced to more counseling.
Hey, Ms. Hirsch. Sorry Im late. I closed the door, then slouched into one of the chairs in front of her desk. But Ms. Hirsch only watched me from across the desk.
I set my bag on the floor and stared at my feet for a second, riding out the silent treatmentwas that supposed to pressure me into talking on my own? But when I looked up, she was still watching me. No, studying me. Like shed never seen me before.
Ms. Hirsch? You okay? Was she in shock? Was I going to have to counsel her?
Youre smaller than I expected, she said. Only she said it with someone elses voice. She said it with a mans voice, deep and smooth, and...rich, somehow. And totally out of place coming from Ms. Hirschs slim, delicately curved feminine form.
She was obviously possessed, presumably by a hellion, but I didnt recognize the voice.
My pulse spiked and chill bumps popped up on my arms, but beneath that an angry flush began to build inside me. I knew I should be scaredI was sitting across my guidance counselors desk from a hellion I couldnt identifybut since my untimely death, Id discovered that there was a limit to my capacity for fear. I could only be threatened, stalked, intimidated, manipulated, possessed, and actually killed so many times before I began to acclimate to the constant state of fear. Before terror lost its punch, like a scary movie watched too many times.
Anger, though... My capacity for anger at the Netherworld and at the host of Nether-creatures that had turned my afterlife into a living hell...that seemed to know no limits.
Much like hellions themselves.
My hands clenched around the arms of the chair. Who the hell are you?
Ms. Hirschs left brow arched. You dont know? At the sound of his voice, that warmth inside me spread, not comforting, but seditious. Like a fierce flame burning within me, demanding action.
Should I? The fact that he couldnt use her voice probably meant he hadnt been in her body often enough to learn how to work all the gears and levers. Hopefully, hed never been in her body before. I hadnt even known she was eligible for possession....
Not officially, but Im a big fan of your work.
My work? I should have been terrified, but what little fear I felt wasnt because my guidance counselor had been possessed, or because whoever was possessing her had obviously known when and where he could get to me through her. I was scared for Ms. Hirsch. Of what he might do to heror make her do to herselfif he didnt get whatever he wanted from me.
Ms. Hirschs head bobbed and a strand of red hairher bangs were long and trendyfell across her forehead. Youve managed to thoroughly piss off not one but three of my most reviled associates. And to survive their anger. He frowned with my guidance counselors pink mouth. Sort of.
Every word he said stoked the fire inside me until the flames of my anger grew hotter, taller, licking the inside of my skin like they wanted to burst free and roast the world.
I knew what he was doing. He was feeding my anger. Nurturing it, like fertilizing a garden until the veggies are ready to harvest. And devour.
The worst part was that whoever this hellion was, he knew exactly who I was, and that I wasntstrictly speakingalive. And he knew who my enemies were. But I didnt need to be told that when dealing with hellions, the enemy of my enemies was definitely not my friend.
Who are you and what do you want? The longer I sat there, the angrier I got. Hed hijacked Ms. Hirschs body. Hed subpoenaed me from my lunch period like I had nothing better to do than be ordered around by a monster from another world! Never mind. I dont care who you are or what you want. Get the hell out of my counselors body, or Ill take you out myself.
I stood and picked up the large, jagged chunk of pink quartz Ms. Hirsch used as a paperweight and hefted it, silently threatening to bash his hellion brains in.
Nice. Decent buildup from irritation to anger, with a flare of true rage on the end. How long have you been harboring so much hatred, Kaylee? You were only a blip on my radar a few months ago, but now youre a blinking light too bright to ignore.
What the hell? I glared down at him, confused. Was the hellion actually trying to counsel me? Was this some kind of demon identity crisis?
Oh, and you do understand that if you bash me over the head with that rock, your counselor will be the one who wakes up with a headache. Right? If she wakes up at all.
Crap. I did know that. Blazing anger did nothing to help my logic.
The twitch at one corner of her mouth looked suspiciously like amusement. If were going to be any use to each other, youll have to learn to think through your anger.
I desperately wanted to know what he was talking about, but I knew better than to ask. I needed to cruise below hellion-radar, not actively engage it.
My name is Ira, incidentally. He leaned back in Ms. Hirschs chair and crossed her slim legs, and the ease with which he moved told me that even if he wasnt familiar with her particular body, this wasnt his first time in human form. In case you havent figured it out, Im a hellion of wrath. And Ive been itching to make your acquaintance of late. I think we can help each other out.
Not gonna happen. I remained standing, but I put the rock down. I couldnt hurt Ms. Hirsch, which Ira obviously knew.
Oh, I think it might, if you knew what I had to offer.
No. Never make a deal with a hellion. Thats the first thing they tell you in Surviving the Netherworld 101. Or it would be, if such a class existed. Hellions love to bargain, but they never agree to a deal if theyre not getting the better end of it. The vastly better end.
That other end tends to leave humans dead, or dying, or injured, or addicted. Or worse.
Theres nothing I want from the evil incarnation of anger. Nothing I was willing to pay for, anyway.
Belittling my existence with understatement doesnt change the facts. I am much more than an incarnation of anger. Ms. Hirsch sat straighter and pinned me with a gaze too steady and merciless to come from anything other than a hellion. I am in the clench of every fist. I am the hot thrum of blood rushing through your veins. Every thud of knuckles against flesh is the cry of my true name. I am the glint of rage in your exs eyes, the livid grinding of his teeth. My pulse is the wave of anger washing over the crowd. The swing of a corpse from the noose. The final twitch of a man murdered in revenge. I know you, Kaylee Cavanaugh. I know you very, very well, and I can give you what you want most in the world. What no one else can give you.
I dont want anything from you, I insisted, with less certainty this time, but repeating that didnt make it true.
Really? Not even justice for everything theyve taken from you? For everyone theyve killed? For everything theyve cost your friends and family?
Oh, crap.
The hellion smiled slowly with Ms. Hirschs perfectly glossed lips. You want Avari, Invidia, and Belphegore to pay for what theyve done.
My chill bumps were back, and this time they felt like small mountains. I sucked in a breath I didnt truly need and tried to swallow my fear and unease. I tried to bury that traitorous spark of interest piqued within me by his wordsthat soft voice whispering that it wouldnt hurt to hear him out. Just to see what he was offering...
Because that would hurt. I knew better. Hellions dont hand out free samples. But I couldnt help wondering....
And youre going to do that for me? Surely sarcasm disguised my curiosity. Why would you conspire against your own kind?
My kind? He actually laughed, and laughter looked nothing on him like it looked on the real Ms. Hirsch. Avari is no more my kind than a garden spider is your kind. We inhabit the same world, but he would stomp on me with no more thought than youd give to stomping on that spider. He leaned forward, pinning me with a familiar brown-eyed gaze. I would stomp on him, too. Then I would grind him into the dirt beneath my heel, just like you would, if you were capable of exacting justice on your own.
Hellions dont deal in justice. That was too noble a concept. Youre talking about revenge.
Ira shrugged. Thats just as well, because justice isnt really what you want. He leaned forward again, and his gaze intensified, as if he were looking for more than he could possibly find in my face. Behind my eyes. Your wrath is graceful. Has anyone ever told you that? Your anger has the bold, sweet overtones of blind rage, but the delicate tang of self-righteousness, because you actually think youre after justice. But thats not true, is it? You know there is no justice to be had. Hurting those whove hurt you and yours cannot undo whats been done. Nothing can bring the dead back to life or unscar the wounded. But you still want to hurt them, dont you? You still want to kill Avari in cold blood for what hes done to you. That, my sweet, vengeful little flame, is revenge, not justice.