Thanks. Ill be fine, though. Em opened her door and got out of the car, and when I stood, still trying to gather my thoughts, I was surprised for the dozenth time by the fact that I could almost see over her head. In her own body, Emma had been taller than I was.
Traci answered the door on the second knock, and the first thing I noticed when she let us in were the bags beneath her eyes. Shed looked tired at Emmas funeral, but Id attributed that to the stress of losing, then burying, her sister. But now, I couldnt deny that it was more than that.
It was the pregnancy.
Traci, Emmas middle sister, was pregnant with my murderers child. And, like nearly everything else that had gone wrong over the past few months, that was my fault. Mr. Beck had been looking for me when hed found her.
Hey, Kaylee. Its good to see you. Traci pulled me into a hug with too-thin arms, and I had to stop myself from blurting out how sorry I was for what she was going through, and how Id do anything for a cosmic do-over. For the chance to take it all back.
Instead I swallowed apologies she wouldnt understand and returned her hug. Thanks. I was careful not to squeeze her too hard. She hardly had any belly yet, and she looked like shed blow over in a light breeze. This is Harmony Hudson, Nashs mom. And this is my cousin Emily. They came to...help. Moral support.
Nice to meet you. Traci shook Harmonys hand, then motioned for us to come in. Then she turned to shake her sisters hand without a single sign of recognition. Kaylee can show you Emmas room. Take whatever you want to remember Emma by. Mom, Cara, and I have already been through it all and taken what we wanted. What means the most to us.
Ems eyes watered. Traci didnt notice.
How are you? I said, instead of leading everyone to Ems room. Traci was leaning against the doorframe. I was afraid she might fall.
Um...Im having a rough first trimester. She let go of the doorframe and sank onto the arm of the couch. Emma told you about...the baby?
Actually, Id told Em about the baby, weeks before Traci had even known she was pregnant.
When Mr. Beck had come to Emmas house looking for me and my best friend, hed found Traci instead. What hed done to Ems sister might not have been rape by any human legal definition, but I couldnt think of it any other way. Mr. Beck was an incubus. Hed made Traci want to sleep with him. She didnt know it, but shed had no choice.
If her baby was a boyan incubusthe pregnancy would probably kill her. All signs were pointing toward that already. And if the pregnancy didnt kill her, the childs birth almost certainly would.
We hadnt really come so I could take something to remember Em by. Wed come to help Traci.
Is there anything I can do? I asked. Harmony looked like she had plenty of suggestions, but I knew she wanted to wait until Tracid had something to drink.
No, thanks, hon. Im fine. Just tired.
Do you want something to drink? Emma asked a second before I would have. I could use a soda, if you have any. She knew they had some. All her mother ever drank was Dr. Pepper. Pretending to be unfamiliar with her own house must have been killing her.
Sure. Traci stood. Just give me a minute.
You dont look like you feel good, Harmony said, right on cue. If you dont mind, I can get everyone a drink while the girls go through Emmas things.
Traci only hesitated for a second. Then she sighed and sank onto the couch again. Thatd be great. Thanks.
Harmony disappeared into the kitchen while Em and I headed to her room and Traci stayed on the couch.
She looks sick, Em whispered to me in the hall.
I nodded. Were going to help her. But Tracis health would come with a price only she could pay.
Emmas room was a mess. There were open cardboard boxes on the floor, photos missing from the walls, and clothes draped over the back of Ems desk chair. Her bed was unmade, too, but that had nothing to do with her death. The bed probably looked just like it had when shed woken up after her last night in it.
I was halfway across Emmas room when I realized shed stopped in the doorway. You okay? I called over my shoulder.
This is weird. Theyve already started packing stuff up, she whispered. Like they cant wait to get rid of me.
Thats not it. I pulled her inside and mostly closed the door, to keep Traci from overhearing. Nash said his mom did the same thing after their dad died, then after Tod died, not because she wanted to forget about them, but because it hurt too much to look at everything that reminded them of what theyd lost.
Her chin quivered. She didnt look like she believed me.
Theyre packing this stuff up because they miss you, Em. Not because theyre glad to be rid of you. Besides I glanced into several of the open boxes most of these are still empty. Grab one and pack up what you want.
For a couple of minutes, I went through the clothes in her closet, looking for anything that might still fit, while she went through what little remained on her shelves. Her mom and sisters had claimed everything but some elementary school soccer medals, a participation trophy from the one year shed tried middle school cheerleading, and the first-place ribbon from fourth-grade field day, when wed won the egg toss.
Is that all you want? I set the shirts I thought Em could still wear in the box she was using, on top of the medals and several pictures of the two of us, dating all the way back to third grade.
Emma shrugged. They took most of the good stuff. And I think Im happy about that. I dont need stuff to remember myself by, right? Im still here. And I want them to remember me.
She had a valid point. And she seemed to be in good spirits, considering.
Any luck with my jeans? Or some shorts? Its already getting warm outside.
The pants are a total loss. Sorry. You just dont have the hips for them anymore. Maybe a couple of skirts, though....
We were going through the last of her clothes when Harmony called us from the living room. Girls? I think shes ready.
My heartbeat was a hollow thump my chest suddenly felt too small to contain.
Em looked as nervous as I felt. We put down the clothes and filed into the living room, where Harmony now sat next to Traci on the couch. Em and I took the two armchairs facing the couch at opposite angles.
Traci? You okay? She frowned at her sister in concern. Traci looked...confused.
I feel weird. Tired. She looked like she could fall asleep where she sat.
I scooted to the edge of my chair to take the can of soda Harmony offered me. Traci had a cup of what looked like hot tea. I peered into it, but saw no trace of whatever Harmony had spiked it with. So...how does this stuff work?
I scooted to the edge of my chair to take the can of soda Harmony offered me. Traci had a cup of what looked like hot tea. I peered into it, but saw no trace of whatever Harmony had spiked it with. So...how does this stuff work?
This stuff is just water from a natural source in the Netherworld. Water there has various properties, and this one she held up a plastic vial, very much like the one Sabine kept her liquid envy in works like an amnesic. Traci is sleepy, but her cognition is not impaired, so she can talk to us just like she normally would. But she wont remember anything that happens in the next hour or so.
What about after that? Em asked.
Shell probably fall asleep, then wake up here and only remember that she took a nap.
I glanced at Traci, who was watching us in mounting confusion. So we can tell her everything?
Harmony nodded.
Everything, everything? Em clenched the arms of her chair. Like, about me?
If thats what you want to do.
Emma didnt look sure, and I was hyperaware that the clock was ticking. So I started. Traci, we have some things to tell you, and most of them are going to be hard for you to believe. But dont worry about that, because youre not going to remember this anyway. We only needed her to understand long enough to make a very difficult decision.
Traci focused on me sluggishly. This feels like a dream.
Are you sure that stuff wont hurt the baby? Em asked.
Harmony smiled and leaned back on the couch, still facing Emma. Im sure. Its really just water. And the babys way too young to worry about memory loss.
What does this have to do with my baby? Traci laid one hand across her mostly flat stomach.
Okay. Here goes.... I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then swallowed my own nerves and uncertainties and met her gaze. Traci, theres a better than average chance that your baby isnt human.
Traci blinked. Then she laughed kinda sluggishly. Have you two been drinking? Its, like, three in the afternoon. She seemed to have forgotten Harmony was even there.
No. Em gripped the arms of her chair. Your babys not human, but thats okay, cause Kaylees not, either. In fact, shes dead.
Who are you again? Traci frowned at her.
Well get to that in a minute. I stood. Traci. She turned to see me and suddenly seemed more drunk than tired. Im a bean sidhe. Most people call us banshees, but whatever you know about banshees is probably wrong. Incomplete, at the least. Also, like she said, Im dead.
There were probably a million better ways to tell her what she needed to know and a million people better prepared than I was to deliver the newslike Harmonybut we were short on time and on volunteers Traci knew well enough to trust.
Youre dead. It wasnt a question. Yet she obviously didnt understand. And youre a banshee.
I know it sounds weird. I didnt believe it at first either. But I can prove it. At least, I can prove the part about being dead. Are you ready?
Sure. She shrugged listlessly, then crossed her arms beneath a well-endowed chest, obviously humoring us. Knock yourself out. Be as dead as you want to be. Cause we havent had enough of that around here.
Valid point.
I caught Tracis skeptical gaze and held it. Then I let myself fade from sight. I didnt actually go anywhere, but they couldnt see me.
As soon as I started to fade, Traci sat up straight. She didnt look sleepy anymore.
What the hell just happened? She turned to Em and Harmony. Did you see that? Did she just disappear?
Em nodded solemnly. She does that now. A lot. Because shes dead.
How did...? When did she...? Traci closed her eyes and shook her head, then opened her eyes to stare at the spot where I stood, though she still couldnt see me. What?