Logic and sense returned with a vengeance. It didnt matter that she felt and tasted like a dream. Didnt matter that she made his heart pound or his limbs tremble. She was his ward. His responsibility. It was his duty to protect her, not to treat her like one of his girls. She was so much better than that. Better than him. She was naive and sweet and good. He would not be the one who ruined that.
But bloody hell, he wanted to.
Jack put his palms against her shoulders and pushed. Her metal skeleton made her heavier than she looked, and stronger, too. Still, he managed to put a couple of inches between them, which was just enough to break the kiss. The moment his lips left hers he felt a profound sense of loss that was both awesome and terrifying. Damnation, what was that feeling?
Stop, poppet.
Dont call me that. She tried to pull him close again, but he stepped back, and she ended up with nothing but a strip of his shirt in either hand. She looked at him, eyes wide and full of hurt confusion. She didnt understand, did she? No, of course she wouldnt. So smart in many ways, but the subtleties of humanity still escaped her grasp. She wouldnt understand that he couldnt treat her like that; she would only know that hed pushed her away.
We cant do this, Mila, he told her. Do you understand that?
But I thought you liked it.
A strangled laugh lurched in his throat. Liked it? Liked didnt even begin to describe how he felt, which was all the more reason to walk out of this room right bloody now.
It doesnt matter what I like. What matters is whats right.
She frowned and shook her head. I dont understand. You liked it. I liked it. How can that not be right?
He swore to himself. How could he make her understand when she hated all the bollocks about rules and expectations? Youre right, you dont understand, and I dont know how to make you. I just cant.
You could with your doxy.
Youre not like her. No, she certainly wasnt. Youre not the same as those girls. She had the world laid out before her. He could make sure she had an education, employment if she wanted. And when the time came, hed pay all the right people to make certain she found her way into good society and caught the eye of a man who might someday deserve her.
Mila nodded. No, Im not. Its all right, Jack. I understand. Im sorry about your shirt.
His shirt? He didnt care about his shirt. He had other shirts. He cared about her. Its all right, poppet. I cant imagine what its like for you, with all these changes that have been happening in the past weeks. Shed gone from machine to humana miracle in itself. She couldnt possibly understand it all. I know very little about womanly...things. Ill ask Finley to talk to you about...how these things work. He had to assume that by now Treasures relationship with His pain-in-the-arse Grace had progressed to a certain level. Not long ago that would have made him jealous enough to drink. Now he hoped for it. Hoped that Finley would know how to make Mila understand that he respected her too much to use her.
Something sparked in her eyes but quickly disappeared. I wouldnt want to bother her.
It would be no bother. Besides, Treasure owed him a favor or two. Im going to let you rest now. Well talk about this more later, all right? Truth was he was a top-notch coward, running away from the situation because he had no bloody idea what to do or say. His gut told him one thing and his conscience told him another. He didnt want to hurt her, but he wanted to kiss her again. He wanted it very badly.
She just watched him with those big sad eyes. Goodbye, Jack.
Its not really goodbye, poppet. Well see each other at dinner.
Mila nodded. Right.
Jack walked over to her and kissed her forehead. Its all going to be fine. And it would be. Hed do everything in his power to make certain she had the best life she could ever have. She was not going to be tossed aside like he had been. He would care for and protect her until the world wasnt such a danger to her.
Only then would he let her go.
A trip to the library was not what Finley had in mind when she followed Sam from the cellar laboratory. It was not the sort of room that invited violence.
Is this a new form of fighting? she asked, glancing around the familiar room. She remembered when shed first come there, Griffin smiling down at her from the balcony that ran along each wall. That day shed thought him the finest thing shed ever seen.
Floor to ceiling was shelf after shelf of books, and the ceiling was very, very high. Griffin had more books than her stepfathers shop, and he was a bookseller! Large, multipaned windows provided ample reading light during daylight hours, and gave the room an almost churchlike feel. Of course, that might just be her imagination, having grown up believing that knowledge gleaned through reading was close to godliness. Are we going to throw books at each other? Of course, she was joking. Shed never risk harming a book by throwing it at Sams thick skull.
Funny, he replied dryly. I wouldnt do that to a book.
Finley blinked. Sometimes she and Sam were uncomfortably alike. I didnt know you read.
He shot her a sour glance. Emily helps me with the big words.
Heat flooded her face. Sometimes she deliberately needled Sam, poked at him like a slumbering bear, but it was never her intent to offend him. Not really. I mean, I didnt think you enjoyed books.
He shrugged before making his way to one of the shelves. Depends on the book. Em likes to read, and she likes it when we can talk about a story. I like making her happy, so I read. Jane Austens not exactly my cuppa, but that Dickens bloke is all right enough. No more Shakespeare, though. Not even for her. Thats just rhyming nonsense to me.
She couldnt help but grinand it was all right because he wasnt looking. The things we do for love, what?
Sam pulled a leather-bound book from a shelf by his head, his expression droll. Like risking your own death? Thats mad.
Youre a fine one to talk. If the suit fit you, you and I would be duking it out to see who got to go after him.
He paused, then turned to face her, certainty etched into his rugged features. His dark gaze was blunt and clear. No, we wouldnt.
Right. Because, if it was Emily who was missing, she wouldnt even try to stop him from going after her. In fact, when Emily was kidnapped, Finley had known Sam had to take the lead on bringing her home. She hadnt dreamed of getting in his way, even though Em was her best friend and she was worried sick about her. She played her own part, but let Sam do what he felt was best.
The big lads understanding of this made her turn her gaze away, to the shelves of books before them. She didnt like that her feelings for Griffin were so transparent. It didnt matter that they shared a bedroom, feelings were so personal. Private. Love made a person terribly vulnerable, and vulnerability was a state Finley despised. That he understood this made her want to punch him, and then perhaps give him a hug for being more of a dear than he had any right. Why did you bring me here, Sam?
He grabbed another book from a higher shelfone she would have required a step stool to reachand took them to the large desk at the front of the room. These are books on the Aether.
Finley was skeptical. The Aether was only discovered a decade ago, give or take. Those books look ancient. Really, one of them looked about ready to fall apart from its bindings.
This one is, he replied, pushing the less battered one toward her. The other was written a century ago by a husband and wife who interviewed people who died and came back to life. Griff and I used to play with it as kids, thats why its in such a state. Boys arent taught to be gentle.
She didnt care what boys were taught. Girls were lucky if they were taught to read. I dont want to read about people who resisted going into the light, or saw God or all their ancestors. I want to save Griffin, and youre wasting my time. So much for him being a dear.
Remember when you told me I was smarter than I looked?
She might have done that more than once. It certainly sounded like something she might say. Yes.
Well, youre dumber than you look. The Aether is where the dead go on the first leg of their journey. This book details what those people who came back experienced there. The Aetheric dimension is one of energy, and there are a lot of strange and dangerous things there for people who dont belong.
He was right: she was dumb. She should have thought of thatshed seen enough bizarre things from the Aether to know better. Like people whose souls are still attached to their bodies.
Sam nodded. This is what youre going to be doing until Emily sends for you. When you go in there, youre going to be as prepared as you can be. I want both you and Griff back safely.
A lump settled in her throat, but she covered it with humor. Aw, Sam. You must really like me.
One of his dark brows arched, but his black eyes sparkled. Not usually, but I do care about you, so dont get permanently killed in there, all right?
Finley blinked. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
Sam laughed. I wish I had a photograph of the look on your face right now.
She shook her head. Just wasnt expecting such a declaration, Samson.
You have a habit of calling me by Biblical names. Do you find me legendary?
In your own mind. Real annoyance poked at the edges of her mind. All right, crack open those books. Griffins waiting.
He did as she commanded, and together they skimmed through the narratives until they found the meat of each account.
This one talks about the Aether demons, she announced, full of surprise. I thought Garibaldi made those.
Wraiths have been around for a long time, Sam informed her, turning a page.
How do you know that?
I started reading these books when we got back from New York, more so after we tangled with Garibaldi last time. The demons are nasty thingsall hate and angerranging in size from small spheres to man-size.
The ones theyd already faced hadnt been that big, but they did a lot of damage. They had cut Griffin up pretty badly. What kind of damage would something bigger do? They could be cutting him right now. Flaying him. Tearing him apart.