Pen straightened her spine and staunchly told herself that she could endure a future with Cam. Perhaps marriage wouldnt be too bad. Many ton couples lived separate lives. Surely once Cam had got her with child, hed pursue other interests.
Oh, damn, she didnt want to think about those interests. Hed take a mistress and she couldnt insist otherwise. This wasnt a love match and she had no claim on his emotions or fidelity. This was a marriage of convenience. A business contract.
Dear Lord, if she didnt stop, shed be sniveling like a lost puppy.
Courage, Pen.
But as she stared down the empty years ahead, she wanted to scream and cry and insist that it wasnt fair. Its not your fault the ship sank. Its not even your fault that Peter asked for your help.
Cams gaze was wary. Thats remarkably reasonable of you.
The smile she summoned felt like a rictus grin. She had the sensation of entering a long, dark tunnel. Youve chosen a remarkably reasonable duchess, Cam. I hope you appreciate her as she deserves.
Chapter Fifteen
Leath House, London, late March 1828
I begged you not to go to James. Why didnt you listen?
Vibrating with fury, Sophie paced the small Chinese summerhouse. The swish of daffodil yellow skirts added an incongruously sunny note to her tirade.
Im sorry. Harry slumped onto the bench and endured his beloveds perfectly justified temper. He hadnt spoken one word to Sophie since his disastrous meeting with her brother three days ago. I loathe sneaking around. I wanted everything aboveboard.
I told you he wouldnt countenance your suit. I told you he wanted me to marry Desborough.
Of necessity, she kept her voice low. Discovery remained a whisper away, however well concealed this pavilion. It was late afternoon and the gardeners had finished for the day. The servants had dinner inside the house. Leath plotted parliamentary maneuvers at his club.
I hoped hed give me a chance.
She stopped prowling and glared at Harry until he winced. You should have trusted me when I said he wouldnt.
Yes, I should have. Self-disgust twisted his gut. But, Sophie, an honorable man doesnt risk compromising the woman he loves.
Her rage didnt abate. He hadnt expected that it would. Now James is sending me to my great-aunt in Northumberland.
Hed expected something like this, but hearing about it still struck him like a blow. He fought back the despair that had gripped him since Leaths brusque dismissal. Ill follow you.
She shook her head. My great-aunt is a dragon and she lives in the middle of a village full of busybodies. James told her that Im allowed to go to church and thats it.
Harry surged to his feet and seized her hands. When do you leave?
Halfheartedly she tried to pull away. Tomorrow.
His heart plunged. So soon?
Yes.
Still Harry refused to accept that Leath had won. And how long are you away?
A month. Tears trembled on Sophies long eyelashes. If Im good.
Harry wanted to curse Leaths tyranny, but he was worldly enough to recognize that the man acted in what he considered were Sophies best interests. Im up to circumventing a mere aunt.
An unconvincing attempt at a smile. Shes not a mere aunt. Shes a bluestocking and a man-hater and she has huge dogs.
For you, Id brave a pack of hungry lions. Whats a dog or two?
Harry, stop it, she said on a pleading note. When were parted, youll forget me.
Shock made him drop her hands and step back, drawing up to his full height until he towered over her. What the hell do you mean?
She twisted her hands in her filmy skirts. There are so many pretty debutantes this year.
Oh, my darling. Devastation flooded him. How could she think him so fickle? He caught her in his arms. Never, never think that.
How can I help it? James does nothing but talk about your intrigues. She stood stiffly in his embrace. Youre so handsome and charming. Every girl in London wants you.
He was appalled to realize that this vulnerability predated todays quarrel. Youre the only woman Ive ever loved. His voice lowered. Ive laid my heart at your feet, sweetheart, and there it will stay. Ill kindly ask you not to kick it.
Of course I wont kick it. He was mightily relieved to see the doubt fade from her eyes. Im glad that youll love me forever.
Forever. So whats a month? Endless purgatory, but he didnt say that. We can write.
She rested her head on his chest. Touching her made Harrys world revolve in the right direction. Heaven help him if she succumbed to family pressure and accepted Desborough. Harry would be useless to man and beast.
No, we cant. I need to buckle down and behave or James wont let me finish the season. He said hes happy to let me rusticate until I marry Desborough.
Harrys heart pounded in frantic denial against her cheek. Youre not marrying Desborough.
I dont want to. She released a broken sigh. Why is this so difficult? I think I hate James.
No, you dont. Hes just trying to protect you.
But he wont let me marry you. He was scathing about your request to court me.
But he wont let me marry you. He was scathing about your request to court me.
Harry grimaced. Ill wager he was more scathing to my face. It was perfectly clear that hed give you to a rabid dog before hed give you to Harry Thorne.
She stared at him. If he knew you as I do, hed understand.
Perhaps. Harry was far from sure. He isnt completely wrong, my darling. I have no fortune and the world considers me a wastrel. Even if we marry, I only have my allowance from Elias and even thats looking devilish shaky right now. His voice descended into glumness. Perhaps youd be better off marrying someone else.
She frowned as if hed offered her an insult. Do you love me, Harry Thorne?
You know I do.
Then thats the only qualification you need to be my husband. She watched him steadily. Well work the rest out.
He smiled. Youll make a dashed fine wife, Sophie.
She smiled back. Because I sew a fine seam and I play the piano like an angel?
Do you? By Jove, those are useful skills if were left on our uppers.
Dont joke, Harry, she said.
His smile broadened, even as his heart ached at their looming separation. Hed had three days of living in gray limbo without her. A month seemed like torture. And because youre the bravest girl I know.
The teasing light in her eyes dimmed. Ill have to be brave if Im in Northumberland.
He couldnt resist kissing her. Courage, Sophie. If were true to one another, nobody can part us.
Do you believe that? It seems too optimistic.
Im a man in love. I eat optimism for breakfast.
As hed hoped, his silly response raised a smile. Youre a fool.
Im your fool. With one hand under her chin, he tipped her face until he drowned in her huge blue eyes.
He desperately hoped that he deserved the trust he read there. Nobody had ever relied on him. As the youngest and most charming of the reckless Thornes, hed never taken responsibility for anything. He swore that lack of practice in responsibility wouldnt scuttle his plans. He intended to become the worlds best husband. If he had his way, Sophie would never suffer a moments unhappiness.
Now kiss me good-bye. He forced a smile. He wanted her to retain a memory of pleasure amidst all the turmoil. Make it good. It needs to last me until you return.
She rose on her toes and laced her hands around his neck. If you put it like that.
His brief humor dissolved to ash under her passionate assault. After a surprised hesitation, his arms lashed around her and he pressed her full-length against him. He wanted to remember her warmth and scent, and the soft sounds of her excitement.
His hands firmed on her hips and he kissed her back, telling her with his lips that he loved her and hed miss her and the hours without her would feel like eternity. He also silently assured her that in time, theyd be together.
Eventually he raised his head, knowing that if he didnt stop now, he wouldnt stop until hed lost all pretensions to honor. He pressed her against his heart, resting his chin on her head. Breathing unsteadily, he struggled for calm.
You must go, she said with audible regret. If James catches us, hell send me further than Northumberland.
Harry kissed her briefly. Id follow you to the ends of the earth.
Disconsolately she surveyed him. If James gets his way, you may have to.
Chapter Sixteen
Upper Brook Street, London, late March 1828
Cam bowed as Lady Marianne Seaton entered the sunny morning room of her fathers house in Mayfair. He felt damnably awkward. He hadnt seen her since spending Christmas at the Seaton estate in Dorset. An indication of his intentions and her familys acceptance of those intentions, although he was yet to make a formal offer.
As Lady Marianne curtsied with her famous grace, he was startled to notice how lovely she was. God forgive him, hed forgotten. With her widely spaced blue eyes and full lips, she looked like a Renaissance Madonna.
While he might have only a vague recollection of her appearance, Cam had remembered her air of tranquility. It was among the reasons hed chosen her. After his chaotic upbringing, the prospect of marriage as a haven of calm was devilish appealing.
Ironic that he ended up with an independent miss who stirred turbulent currents wherever she went.
Your Grace, what a pleasure. Lady Mariannes voice was low, like a cello. That voice would never challenge him or tease him or warm with wry humor.
Whatever else Pen was, she was entertaining. Five minutes with her and his skin prickled with physical awareness, his brain fired with stimulation, he was laughing.
He couldnt imagine laughing with Lady Marianne. She was too like one of the Meissen figurines that his mother had thrown when no dinner plates or Chinese vases lay to hand. In the Rothermere residences, numerous shepherds lacked their shepherdesses, thanks to the late duchesss tantrums.
Good morning, Lady Marianne, he said.
Lady Marianne sank onto an azure chaise longue. Her back was ruler straight, her hands laced decorously in her lap. She looked like she sat for a painting. Her pale yellow gown complimented her creamy complexion. Immediately Cam pictured Pen as hed last seen her, wearing an ill-fitting, borrowed dress. Shed been fighting him. Why was that immeasurably more exciting than Lady Mariannes serenity?