And it was in this place that he met Nathan. And Nathan had once had a brother hed abandoned who was roughly the same age as James, as Jimmy. So he gave him things. The brothers things. It was a private deal between them. But it was wrong. It was wrong.
Margery had imagined that James was on the game. What else could she think? His steady accumulation of possessions had to point somewhere. So it was a relief when shed finally met Nathan. He was as harmless as a newly hatched chick. And she liked him. He was steady and gentle and he cared about minutiae. He was lovable.
Margery had imagined that James was on the game. What else could she think? His steady accumulation of possessions had to point somewhere. So it was a relief when shed finally met Nathan. He was as harmless as a newly hatched chick. And she liked him. He was steady and gentle and he cared about minutiae. He was lovable.
They went out for a drink together. It was unprofessional, admittedly, but she didnt regret it. She merely told Nathan that he shouldnt see James again. He shouldnt give him anything. That was all. There was no mystery. Hed said, I hadnt realizedI mean I didnt realize there was anythinguhuntowardI didnt. God. I didnt think that for a second.
Its a real shame, Margery said kindly, trying to reassure him, but the world is such a sick place. You do something in all innocence and the world manages to make it cheap in some way. Thats just how it is, Im afraid.
Then James went missing. Initially the police expressed a tolerable level of interest. A list of names were fed into a computer. They called on Margery. Flat hat, blue suit, big boots. Did she know about Nathan? Did she know about Nathans history? More specifically, did she know about Nathans father? He was a convicted paedophile. Did she understand what that meant? Nathans dad was sexually deviant. He fucked small children. All the time. Big Ron. Big bad Ron. He huffed and he puffed and he blew their fragile houses down. And his own little piggies? He tucked them up tight at night, so tight that they couldnt move their tiny arms, and then he peered and he leered and he panted through their weak straw walls. It was all spelled out. Every letter. And every letter spelled a single word. And the word was horrible.
Horrible. Horrible. Horrible.
She wanted to withdraw. But no. Nathan had red hair and blue eyes and skin so pale it was almost transparent. He was almost transparent. So soft and so gentle. He was see-through.
And by then she was in too deep, dammit.
Nathan had prepared a chicken-in-a-bag meal that you boiled for ten minutes. It tasted like chalk, but fibrous. She never told him that she knew. She simply waited for signs of it. She studied him like youd study a tomato plant in a greenhouse. Was it getting enough water? Were there greenfly? Was there mildew? She kept on waiting for something to go wrong. Like he was a bomb just a tick-tick-ticking.
Nathan watched Margery eating. She didnt complain. She munched dutifully.
Im sorry, he said, it tastes awful.
He was as soft as a strawberry cream.
It does taste awful, she said quietly, eating on regardless, then picking up the ketchup from a tray resting on top of a brown cardboard box which had been propped, without her noticing, next to the sofa. The box. All close and closed and tightly bound. Nathan gave it the quickest of glances, every so often. Some things, he resolved, no, many things, many, many things were often better just left that way.
Seven
Now heres the thing, Ronny said, appraising Luke and detecting a powerful smell of fish, hes changed his name and now hes called Jim.
Luke turned to Jim, surprised and clearly determined not to believe the testimony of a total stranger. You changed your name since this morning?
Jim nodded. He already seemed thoroughly reconciled to this superficial alteration. The new name had settled on him during the previous hour as softly and as completely as a thin layer of soot over the rim of a chimney.
Luke frowned, somewhat disgruntled. But what was wrong with Ronny?
Ronny interjected. It was his dads name and he didnt like his dad.
Anyway, Jim said, carefully steering the conversation away from his father, my friend here is called Ronny, and if were both Ronnies it makes things too complicated.
Luke was tickled by this. His broad face broke into a grin. So in fact, he said, chuckling, youre The Two Ronnies.
Ronny shook his head. No. Were not the two anythings. Thats the whole point of it. Hes Jim.
Luke stopped smiling. Jim took his chance and handed him the car keys. I really appreciate you lending me the car. Its been a real life-saver.
While he spoke, Luke squinted at Jims cheek. You have a slight rash he indicated, just there.
He knows, Ronny said. Jim nodded. I think it may even be going down a bit now.
Actually, Luke glanced wistfully over Ronnys shoulder, although all that lay behind him was darkness and the roar of the tide, I met one of our neighbours today. A girl with a flat face. She looked slightly
Dirty, Jim filled in.
Luke laughed, as though this hadnt previously occurred to him. Thats true. She was dirty. Her neck especially. Do you know her?
Jim shook his head. Ive seen her around but weve never spoken.
Well she was snooping around my prefab and then she jumped into the sea. With all her clothes on and everything. Crazy, really. I didnt warm to her at all. Luke paused. In fact she actually objected to me walking the short distance from here to the nudist beach with no clothes on. Its not even as if there was anyone about
She was about, Ronny said, but not provocatively. He was rubbing his ear and seemed uninvolved now that the naming issue had been resolved. Luke just grunted.
Anyway Jim said, his voice trailing off into the sound of the waves.
Yes Luke responded brightly and jangled the keys in his hand, any time.
Great.
Jim walked off, expecting Ronny to follow. But Ronny didnt follow.
Did you see the black rabbits yet? he asked.
Black rabbits?
Luke was temporarily bewildered.
Jim said that there were black rabbits here. Wild ones.
Uh Luke considered this for a moment. Ive never he frowned, although now you come to mention it
He disappeared into his prefab in search of something. Ronny held the door ajar with his foot. He saw the picture of the woman with the chin-high breasts which Luke had now hung squarely, unapologetically, above his sofa. Ronny touched one of his own nipples with his left hand. He had a fantastic capacity for empathy.
Ouch.
Pardon? Luke reappeared, looking testy.
Nothing. Its just Ronny pointed, her breasts are very high. That isnt natural, is it?
Natural?
Luke didnt understand the implications of this word. He was holding a pamphlet. It was a free handout from the Nature Conservancy Council about the Swale reserve. He cleared his throat. Breasts are fatty tissue. That particular model has quite large ones which means that theres some he searched for the right word, slack, he said, finally, although he couldnt help thinking that it sounded ungallant. Graceless, even. And it was such a real, no, not realit was such a resonant image, after all.
Ronny was already inspecting the pamphlet.
Take it, Luke said, I think it mentions something about rabbits in there although I wouldnt swear to it.
Thanks.
Ronny took the pamphlet and turned to go. Luke half-closed the door and then said quickly, It didnt hurt, you know.
What didnt?
Luke thumbed over his shoulder. The breasts. Shes my ex-wife. It didnt hurt. It was actually her idea in the first place.
Oh, Ronny nodded, still clutching his pamphlet, well, thats good, then.
Yes.
Luke closed the door. He resolved not to show Ronny his portfolio. He was alone in this wilderness. This moonscape. Although Jim, at least, seemed relatively open-minded. Or was that justuhhe searched for the word. Then he found it. Reticence. Maybe Jim was just reticent.
Jim. His neighbour. Jim. Bit of a blank spot, really.
Jims prefab was bare and functional. One bedroom. Small. A shower, a toilet, a sink. The living room and a tiny kitchen. White walls. Linoleum flooring throughout. Red in colour. A portable TV. Terrible reception. No lampshades. Bare bulbs.
Chilly. Ronny was impressed. It was already dark when they arrived but he quickly got the gist of it.
Theyd had to wait for ten minutes before entering the island. The Kingferry bridge had been raised for a tanker to pass through. Ronny had clambered out of the car and walked to the river bank to watch. The bridge was a great, concrete, multi-storey car park, but roofless. A monstrosity. A giant. When he climbed back into the car his face was alight. He hadnt bargained on it being a real island.
You could swim it easily, Jim said, as they crossed over the river, but its pretty deep in the middle.
And now they were by the sea. Jim pulled his curtains wide. Outside Ronny saw blackness broken by foam-tipped waves. It was fantastic.
He pointed. Youre almost on the beach.
Yes. In fact, we are on the beach.
Just five foot of it and then the sea.
Thats right.
Jim was making something to eat, heating a tin of beans and mini chipolatas.
Are you hungry?
Always.
Jim tipped half of the panful into a bowl. The other half he poured on to a plate for himself. He cut some bread. He passed Ronny a piece.
No bread, Ronny said, sitting himself down at the kitchen table. I only ever eat enough he paused, choosing his words carefully, to remain active.
Jim handed Ronny a fork. Thats a strange habit.
Yes, Ronny agreed, but its these little things that keep me going. These habits.
He ate with his left hand. He held his fork in his fist with no finesse.
And you only use your left hand, Jim said, watching Ronny carefully as though he was some kind of scientific experiment.
Yes. It slows me down.
You feel the need to slow down?
I did. Ronny thought for a moment. What I mean to say is that it helps me concentrate. I used to have a very short attention span. Then I started these little challenges. It all came to me on the spur of the moment. Id always had a natural instinct to do things right-handed, but I began to stop myself. I controlled that instinct. I curbed it.