And now for an interesting psychological fact in an account which I hope youll agree is not short of them. Frederick forgot all about his Doubts that resulted from the African visit this is not surprising since it happened a decade ago. But he also forgot his Doubts of last year after the Turkey excavations. Forgot completely, until just recently, after his visit to Wiltshire, when he made a deliberate effort to remember things he might have buried because they were painful. He then slid into a Euphoric, or Male Menopausal, or Manic Depressive (pay your penny and take your choice!) state of mind which he enjoyed enormously. If enjoyment is the word for such a bonus. He walked about London, and amused himself by going to museums and looking at pots and spears and stones and things and inventing theories as powerful and as convincing as currently accepted ones, about previous societies. And so now Ive reached the end of what I agreed to write and tell you. If what I have said doesnt mean anything to you, then I have made a mistake, but I do find that hard to believe. I dont know why it is, but I am sure you will understand. Would you like to come and see me next time you are in London? I would be delighted, and so would Frederick and the others.
And now for an interesting psychological fact in an account which I hope youll agree is not short of them. Frederick forgot all about his Doubts that resulted from the African visit this is not surprising since it happened a decade ago. But he also forgot his Doubts of last year after the Turkey excavations. Forgot completely, until just recently, after his visit to Wiltshire, when he made a deliberate effort to remember things he might have buried because they were painful. He then slid into a Euphoric, or Male Menopausal, or Manic Depressive (pay your penny and take your choice!) state of mind which he enjoyed enormously. If enjoyment is the word for such a bonus. He walked about London, and amused himself by going to museums and looking at pots and spears and stones and things and inventing theories as powerful and as convincing as currently accepted ones, about previous societies. And so now Ive reached the end of what I agreed to write and tell you. If what I have said doesnt mean anything to you, then I have made a mistake, but I do find that hard to believe. I dont know why it is, but I am sure you will understand. Would you like to come and see me next time you are in London? I would be delighted, and so would Frederick and the others.
Incidentally, about Fredericks stammer, in case this is of any use to you, he has cured it by letting the parallel stream of ideas, or words, that inhibited him from saying the usual things, come out: he listens and then voices it. Aloud. Either to himself, into a tape recorder, or to me. The results are surprising.
I do look forward to hearing from you,
Sincerely yours,
ROSEMARY BAINES
DEAR MISS BAINES,
I dont know when I have felt so flattered. What a large result from what I am afraid I have to tell you was nothing but a routine occurrence for me. For my sins I give quite a number of lectures outside my own field. My wife says that I have too much energy for my own good. Perhaps she is right. The remarks which struck you so disproportionately if I may be so frank! I am afraid are one of my stock ploys. When I run dry or run out of breath, I have a few old standbys to get me started again. Yes of course I do feel that education is not what it ought to be. But few of us do not. I suppose I have to admit that what was once a crusade, a bit of a bee in the bonnet, has cooled rather. As regards your kind remarks about stammering, I am extremely grateful, of course. I have recently been overworking, or so the doctor tells me, and I developed a tendency to stammer. But I dont seem to remember doing so at that lecture. But you appear to remember it all in such very remarkable detail. Perhaps my making a joke about stammering had a prophylactic effect? I have found this to be the case. As regards Frederick Larson, I do seem to know the name, but that is all. I take his word for it that we have met. I think he is making too much of the stammering. Mine was relieved by remembering to speak very slowly and carefully, particularly when tired, and above all, by not forgetting to take the doctors pills. I am sorry I have to disappoint you in replying so churlishly to your quite extraordinarily lengthy letter. But alas, I have not yet retired, with my time to myself. Which must be my excuse for not accepting your extraordinarily kind invitation to meet you and Mr. Larson. I am very seldom in London and when I am my time is taken up with interviews and visits in connection with my work.
Yours truly,
CHARLES WATKINS
DEAR DOCTOR Y,
Professor Watkins came to consult me in the spring of this year, in connection with stammering. I prescribed Librium and a holiday. I also gave him the address of a speech therapist, when the stammering did not stop. He has been on my books for five years. I took this practice over in 1964. He has not been ill in that time, except for influenza last year. He seemed to me to be in pretty good physical shape in March. He said he had lost weight. When I got your letter I asked his wife to come in and see me. I know her rather better than I know him, because I attend the children. She doesnt seem able to throw much light. But in her interests, I suggest she see her husband pretty soon. Of course I am only that old-fashioned thing, a family doctor, and I dont know as much as I should about mental health. But Mrs. Watkins is under heavy strain.
Yours sincerely,
DOCTOR Z
Hello Charles.
You are
Im your wife.
Would you like to sit down?.
..
Im sorry, I dont know what to say.
But Charles it isnt possible that you dont know me?
Im sorry.
But I just cant
Then Felicity
How do you know my name is Felicity?
They told me. They said you might come today.
You didnt ask to see me then?
No.
Charles you sit there and you tell me oh, no, I just cant believe it. Oh, Im so sorry.
Tell me then?
Tell you what?
For instance, how long have we been married?
Fifteen years.
The doctor says he has had other cases. Im not the first, by a long chalk. Why are you laughing?
You always say that, just like that, by a long chalk.
Do I?
When they told me you were coming, I hoped that if I saw you Id remember
And you dont?
No. Youre so angry. I didnt expect you to be angry.
Angry? Of course Im not angry. What a funny thing to say. Its not your fault youve lost your memory. It happens to people. Im very sorry for you. I really am.
No, you are angry.
Well, if I were angry its so like you Charles. All the time, since I knew you had lost your memory I couldnt help thinking, Thats so like Charles.
But why is it? Have I lost my memory before?
No. Well, not so far as I know. You never told me, if so. But you dont tell me things, do you?
There, I said you were angry.
Oh no, now Im in the wrong again. I simply cant believe
Dont cry.
Weve lived together for fifteen years. Fifteen years, Charles.
Im sorry. Im really very sorry, Felicity. And now you are angrier still.
Im not angry but I cant help crying. Wouldnt you?
Please go. You must go away. I dont know you, you see, Felicity.
Patient was visited by his wife today. Visit terminated at patients request.
Wife hysterical subject, better kept away from patient for the time being, in my opinion.
DOCTOR X.
Doctor X, I simply have to see you.
Ah, Mrs. Watkins, I thought you had gone back home. Well, sit down, Im very pleased to see you. Now, what can I do for you?
What can you do for me! Doctor X, hes been here now nearly two months.
Im sorry. Im really very sorry, Felicity. And now you are angrier still.
Im not angry but I cant help crying. Wouldnt you?
Please go. You must go away. I dont know you, you see, Felicity.
Patient was visited by his wife today. Visit terminated at patients request.
Wife hysterical subject, better kept away from patient for the time being, in my opinion.
DOCTOR X.
Doctor X, I simply have to see you.
Ah, Mrs. Watkins, I thought you had gone back home. Well, sit down, Im very pleased to see you. Now, what can I do for you?
What can you do for me! Doctor X, hes been here now nearly two months.
Yes, Im afraid he has. But he is better, we think.
How do you judge betterness, then? How? You say he didnt know who he was when he came in here. And he still doesnt. So why is he better?
Hes better in himself. More rested.
Rested? Was he ill when he came in?
No, he didnt have flu, or bronchitis.
I know I am very stupid Doctor. I know that. But it doesnt help me when you are sarcastic. You say he is better. But Ive never seen him look so awful. Never. Hes so thin. And he seems shaky and weak.
It is very understandable that you are upset.
Oh thanks. Thanks very much.
Look at it from our point of view. Your husband was brought in here nearly two months ago, by the police, in a state of shock, having been robbed, without papers, money, or knowledge of who he was. He was talking to himself, hallucinated, he had religious delusions and he was paranoiac. We did what we could to get him better, thats all.
And you say he is better?
In my opinion he is better.
Can I see Doctor Y?
Certainly, but he isnt here today.
He wasnt here yesterday either. He wrote to me about my husband, you see.
He does two days a week at another hospital.
When will he be here?
Tomorrow.
Can I see him then?
Certainly. Tell the office on your way out that you will be back tomorrow, and ask them to make an appointment.
Oh please dont think that I want to be rude, Doctor, I dont.
Not at all. We are quite used to it Mrs. Watkins.
Oh Doctor Y, I stayed over in town to see you.
And Im very pleased that you did. How do you think your husband is?
How do I know? How can I tell? Oh, I think he looks awful, awful I dont see how it is possible!
Oh, believe me, it happens.
No, no, I dont mean that. That people dont lose their memories. But are you married, Doctor?
Yes, I am.
How long have you been married?
Nine years. No, ten.
Imagine you walk into your bedroom tonight when you go home, and your wife is there, and she looks at you and talks exactly as she always does and then suddenly she says she doesnt know who you are.
Yes, Mrs. Watkins, I have tried to imagine it happening. I really have tried.
But Im not complaining about that. I dont seem to be able to make myself understood. It is this how can you say he has lost his memory then?
Now I dont understand cigarette? They are bringing some tea in a minute.
If he has lost his memory, then why does he speak as he always speaks. The same phrases. Everything the same.
Ah, now I understand.
If he had lost his memory, if he really didnt know who he was, then hed be like a newborn baby.