He passed a Caretaker walking slowly with one of the Old in the hall. "Hello, Jonas," the young uniformed man said, smiling pleasantly. The woman beside him, whose arm he held, was hunched over as she shuffled along in her soft slippers. She looked toward Jonas and smiled, but her dark eyes were clouded and blank. He realized she was blind.
He entered the bathing room with its warm moist air and scent of cleansing lotions. He removed his tunic, hung it carefully on a wall hook, and put on the volunteers smock that was folded on a shelf.
"Hi, Jonas!" Asher called from the corner where he was kneeling beside a tub. Jonas saw Fiona nearby, at a different tub. She looked up and smiled at him, but she was busy, gently washing a man who lay in the warm water.
Jonas greeted them and the caretaking attendants at work nearby. Then he went to the row of padded lounging chairs where others of the Old were waiting. He had worked here before; he knew what to do.
"Your turn, Larissa," he said, reading the nametag on the womans robe. "Ill just start the water and then help you up." He pressed the button on a nearby empty tub and watched as the warm water flowed in through the many small openings on the sides. The tub would be filled in a minute and the water flow would stop automatically.
He helped the woman from the chair, led her to the tub, removed her robe, and steadied her with his hand on her arm as she stepped in and lowered herself. She leaned back and sighed with pleasure, her head on a soft cushioned headrest.
"Comfortable?" he asked, and she nodded, her eyes closed. Jonas squeezed cleansing lotion onto the clean sponge at the edge of the tub and began to wash her frail body.
Last night he had watched as his father bathed the newchild. This was much the same: the fragile skin, the soothing water, the gentle motion of his hand, slippery with soap. The relaxed, peaceful smile on the womans face reminded him of Gabriel being bathed.
And the nakedness, too. It was against the rules for children or adults to look at anothers nakedness; but the rule did not apply to newchildren or the Old. Jonas was glad. It was a nuisance to keep oneself covered while changing for games, and the required apology if one had by mistake glimpsed anothers body was always awkward. He couldnt see why it was necessary. He liked the feeling of safety here in this warm and quiet room; he liked the expression of trust on the womans face as she lay in the water unprotected, exposed, and free.
From the corner of his eye he could see his friend Fiona help the old man from the tub and tenderly pat his thin, naked body dry with an absorbant cloth. She helped him into his robe.
Jonas thought Larissa had drifted into sleep, as the Old often did, and he was careful to keep his motions steady and gentle so he wouldnt wake her. He was surprised when she spoke, her eyes still closed.
"This morning we celebrated the release of Roberto," she told him. "It was wonderful."
"I knew Roberto!" Jonas said. "I helped with his feeding the last time I was here, just a few weeks ago. He was a very interesting man."
Larissa opened her eyes happily. "They told his whole life before they released him," she said. "They always do. But to be honest," she whispered with a mischievous look, "some of the tellings are a little boring. Ive even seen some of the Old fall asleep during tellingswhen they released Edna recently. Did you know Edna?"
Jonas shook his head. He couldnt recall anyone named Edna.
Larissa opened her eyes happily. "They told his whole life before they released him," she said. "They always do. But to be honest," she whispered with a mischievous look, "some of the tellings are a little boring. Ive even seen some of the Old fall asleep during tellingswhen they released Edna recently. Did you know Edna?"
Jonas shook his head. He couldnt recall anyone named Edna.
"Well, they tried to make her life sound meaningful. And of course," she added primly, "all lives are meaningful, I dont mean that they arent. But Edna. My goodness. She was a Birthmother, and then she worked in Food Production for years, until she came here. She never even had a family unit."
Larissa lifted her head and looked around to make sure no one else was listening. Then she confided, "I dont think Edna was very smart."
Jonas laughed. He rinsed her left arm, laid it back into the water, and began to wash her feet. She murmured with pleasure as he massaged her feet with the sponge.
"But Robertos life was wonderful," Larissa went on, after a moment. "He had been an Instructor of Elevensyou know how important that isand hed been on the Planning Committee. Andgoodness, I dont know how he found the timehe also raised two very successful children, and he was also the one who did the landscaping design for the Central Plaza. He didnt do the actual labor, of course."
"Now your back. Lean forward and Ill help you sit up." Jonas put his arm around her and supported her as she sat. He squeezed the sponge against her back and began to rub her sharp-boned shoulders. "Tell me about the celebration."
"Well, there was the telling of his life. That is always first. Then the toast. We all raised our glasses and cheered. We chanted the anthem. He made a lovely good-bye speech. And several of us made little speeches wishing him well. I didnt, though. Ive never been fond of public speaking.
"He was thrilled. You should have seen the look on his face when they let him go."
Jonas slowed the strokes of his hand on her back thoughtfully. "Larissa," he asked, "what happens when they make the actual release? Where exactly did Roberto go?"
She lifted her bare wet shoulders in a small shrug. "I dont know. I dont think anybody does, except the committee. He just bowed to all of us and then walked, like they all do, through the special door in the Releasing Room. But you should have seen his look. Pure happiness, Id call it."
Jonas grinned. "I wish Id been there to see it."
Larissa frowned. "I dont know why they dont let children come. Not enough room, I guess. They should enlarge the Releasing Room."
"Well have to suggest that to the committee. Maybe theyd study it," Jonas said slyly, and Larissa chortled with laughter.
"Right!" she hooted, and Jonas helped her from the tub.
5
Usually, at the morning ritual when the family members told their dreams, Jonas didnt contribute much. He rarely dreamed. Sometimes he awoke with a feeling of fragments afloat in his sleep, but he couldnt seem to grasp them and put them together into something worthy of telling at the ritual.
But this morning was different. He had dreamed very vividly the night before.
His mind wandered while Lily, as usual, recounted a lengthy dream, this one a frightening one in which she had, against the rules, been riding her mothers bicycle and been caught by the Security Guards.
They all listened carefully and discussed with Lily the warning that the dream had given.
"Thank you for your dream, Lily." Jonas said the standard phrase automatically, and tried to pay better attention while his mother told of a dream fragment, a disquieting scene where she had been chastised for a rule infraction she didnt understand. Together they agreed that it probably resulted from her feelings when she had reluctantly dealt punishment to the citizen who had broken the major rules a second time.
Father said that he had had no dreams.
"Gabe?" Father asked, looking down at the basket where the newchild lay gurgling after his feeding, ready to be taken back to the Nurturing Center for the day.
They all laughed. Dream-telling began with Threes. If newchildren dreamed, no one knew.
"Jonas?" Mother asked. They always asked, though they knew how rarely Jonas had a dream to tell.
"I did dream last night," Jonas told them. He shifted in his chair, frowning.
"Good," Father said. "Tell us."
"The details arent clear, really," Jonas explained, trying to recreate the odd dream in his mind. "I think I was in the bathing room at the House of the Old."
"Thats where you were yesterday," Father pointed out.
Jonas nodded. "But it wasnt really the same. There was a tub, in the dream. But only one. And the real bathing room has rows and rows of them. But the room in the dream was warm and damp. And I had taken off my tunic, but hadnt put on the smock, so my chest was bare. I was perspiring, because it was so warm. And Fiona was there, the way she was yesterday."
"Asher, too?" Mother asked.
Jonas shook his head. "No. It was only me and Fiona, alone in the room, standing beside the tub. She was laughing. But I wasnt. I was almost a little angry at her, in the dream, because she wasnt taking me seriously."
"Seriously about what?" Lily asked.
Jonas looked at his plate. For some reason that he didnt understand, he felt slightly embarrassed. "I think I was trying to convince her that she should get into the tub of water."
He paused. He knew he had to tell it all, that it was not only all right but necessary to tell all of a dream. So he forced himself to relate the part that made him uneasy.
"I wanted her to take off her clothes and get into the tub," he explained quickly. "I wanted to bathe her. I had the sponge in my hand. But she wouldnt. She kept laughing and saying no."
He looked up at his parents. "Thats all," he said.
"Can you describe the strongest feeling in your dream, son?" Father asked.
Jonas thought about it. The details were murky and vague. But the feelings were clear, and flooded him again now as he thought. "The wanting," he said. "I knew that she wouldnt. And I think I knew that she shouldnt. But I wanted it so terribly. I could feel the wanting all through me."
"Thank you for your dream, Jonas," Mother said after a moment. She glanced at Father.
"Lily," Father said, "its time to leave for school. Would you walk beside me this morning and keep an eye on the newchilds basket? We want to be certain he doesnt wiggle himself loose."
Jonas began to rise to collect his schoolbooks. He thought it surprising that they hadnt talked about his dream at length before the thank you. Perhaps they found it as confusing as he had.
"Wait, Jonas," Mother said gently. "Ill write an apology to your instructor so that you wont have to speak one for being late."