Chapter 4. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
It was the White Rabbit coming slowly back and looking around as if it had lost something.[61] Alice heard it saying to itself: “The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! I’ll be executed,[62] I’m sure! Where COULD I drop them, I wonder?” Alice understood that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she began looking for them too, but they were nowhere to be seen.[63]
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice and asked her in an angry tone, “Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!” And Alice was so frightened that she ran immediately in the direction it pointed to.[64]
“He took me for[65] his housemaid,” she said to herself as she ran. “How surprised he’ll be when he finds out who I am! But I’d better[66] bring him his fan and gloves – of course, if I can find them.” As she said this, she came to a neat little house, on the door of which[67] was a bright brass plate with the name “W. RABBIT” engraved upon it. She went in without knocking,[68] and hurried upstairs.
Soon she was in a tidy little room with a table in the window and on it were a fan and two or three pairs of tiny gloves. Alice took the fan and one pair and was going to leave the room[69] when she saw a little bottle. This time there was no label on it with the words “DRINK ME” but she still put it to her lips. “I know SOMETHING interesting will happen,” she said to herself “I hope I’ll grow large again, because I’m quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!”
It happened so quickly that in the next moment her head was pressing against[70] the ceiling. “Now I can’t get out of the door – Why did I drink so much?”
Alas! It was too late! She continued growing, and growing, and very soon had to kneel down[71] on the floor. Still she went on growing,[72] and at last she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself “What WILL become of me?”
Fortunately Alice stopped growing but she felt very unhappy. “It was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, “when nobody grew larger and smaller. When I read fairy-tales, I thought that such things never happened, and now here I am in one of them![73]”
“Mary Ann! Mary Ann!” she heard the voice outside. “Fetch me my gloves this moment!” Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her.
When the Rabbit came up to the door, it tried to open it but couldn’t because Alice’s elbow was pressed against it. Alice heard it say[74] to itself “Then I’ll go round and get in at the window.”
But when the Rabbit was just under the window she spread out her hand and immediately heard a little shriek and a fall and a crash of broken glass. Then the Rabbit’s angry voice cried: “Bill! Bill! Where are you? Come and help me! And take that thing away from the window!”
There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers now and then[75] and at last she spread out her hand again. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. “I wonder what they’ll do next!” thought Alice.
“We must burn the house down!” said the Rabbit’s voice; and Alice called out as loud as she could, “If you do. I’ll set Dinah at you!”
There was a dead silence instantly. After a minute or two, they began moving about again and the next moment a lot of little pebbles came in through the window, and some of them hit her in the face. “I’ll put a stop to this,” she said to herself. But suddenly she noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little cakes and a bright idea came into her head. “If I eat one of these cakes,” she thought, “it’ll surely make SOME change in my size; and as it can’t possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose.”
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and began shrinking. As soon as she was small enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house. She ran off as hard as she could, and soon she was in a thick wood.
“The first thing I must do,” said Alice to herself, “is to grow to my right size again; and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be the best plan.”
It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt; the only difficulty was: she had not the smallest idea how to start. I suppose I must eat or drink something; but the great question is, what?” Alice looked all round her at the flowers and the grass, but she did not see anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself;[76] so she looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, and then she decided to see what was on the top of it.
When she looked over the edge of the mushroom, her eyes immediately met the eyes of a large caterpillar that was sitting on the top, quietly smoking a long hookah.
Chapter 5. Advice from a Caterpillar
The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and said in a sleepy voice: “Who are YOU?”
Alice answered shyly, “I am not sure now. At least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning but I have changed several times since then.[77]
“What do you mean by that?” said the Caterpillar. “Explain yourself!”
“I can’t explain MYSELF, I’m afraid, sir” said Alice, “because I’m not myself, you see.”
“I don’t see,” said the Caterpillar.
“I’m afraid I can’t explain it more clearly,” Alice answered very politely, “because I can’t understand it myself.”
“You!” said the Caterpillar thoughtfully. “Who are YOU?”
And they were at the beginning of the conversation again. Alice drew herself up and said seriously: “I think, you must tell me who YOU are, first.”
“Why?” said the Caterpillar.
It was another difficult question; and as Alice could not think of any good reason,[78] she turned away.
“Come back!” the Caterpillar called her. “I’ve something important to say![79]”
Alice turned and came back again.
“Keep your temper,” said the Caterpillar.
“Is that all?” said Alice, hiding her anger as well as she could.
“No,” said the Caterpillar.
For some minutes it didn’t say anything, but at last it took the hookah out of its mouth and said, “So you think you’re changed, do you?”
“I’m afraid I am, sir,” said Alice; “I don’t keep the same size for ten minutes!”
“What size do you want to be?” it asked.
“Oh, it’s not actually the size,[80]” Alice answered; “it’s just not very pleasant to change so often, you know.”
“I DON’T know,” said the Caterpillar.
Alice said nothing: she felt that she was losing her temper.
“Is it fine now?” said the Caterpillar.
“Well, I would like[81] to be a LITTLE larger, sir,” said Alice: “three inches is not the best height.”
“It is a very good height!” said the Caterpillar angrily (it was exactly three inches high).
“But it’s not usual for me!” answered poor Alice. And she thought to herself, “The creatures here are so easily offended![82]”
“You’ll get used to it in time,” said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
This time Alice waited patiently until it spoke again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice. Then it got down off the mushroom and crawled away in the grass, telling Alice, “One side will help you grow taller, and the other side will help you grow shorter.”
“One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?” thought Alice to herself.
“Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud;[83] and in another moment it was out of sight.
Alice looked at the mushroom thoughtfully for a minute and at last she put her arms around it as far as she could and broke off a piece of the mushroom with each hand. Then she very carefully started nibbling first at one piece and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she was her usual height again.[84]
“Now I’m back to my right size: the next thing is to get into that beautiful garden – how can I do that, I wonder?” As she said this, she suddenly came to a little house about four feet high. “It’s not a good idea to come to those who live here THIS size – they will be very frightened!” So she started nibbling at the piece of the mushroom in her right hand again and soon she was only nine inches high.
Chapter 6. Pig and Pepper
For a minute or two Alice stood looking at the house, and thinking what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery ran out of the wood (actually it was a fish in livery) and knocked loudly at the door. The door was opened by another footman[85] in livery, with large eyes like a frog’s;[86] and both footmen, Alice noticed, had curled powdered hair. She felt very curious, and walked a little out of the wood to listen.[87]
The Fish-Footman took a great letter from under his arm and gave it to the other footman, saying, in a solemn tone, “For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.” The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, “From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.”
Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.[88]
Alice laughed so much at this that she had to[89] run back into the wood because the creatures could hear her. When she looked out of the wood again she saw only the Frog-footman sitting on the ground near the door.
Alice went shyly up to the door and knocked.
“There’s no use in knocking,[90]” said the Footman, “for two reasons. Firstly, because I’m on the same side of the door as you are; secondly, because they’re making such a noise inside, no one could hear you.” And really there was a great noise in the house.
“Please,” said Alice, “how can I get in?”
“I shall sit here,” the Footman said, “till tomorrow – ”
At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came flying out and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind the Footman.
“ – or next day, maybe,” the Footman continued in the same tone.
“But what am I to do?[91]” said Alice.
“Anything you like,[92]” replied the Footman, and began whistling.
“Oh, there’s no use in talking to him!” said Alice, opened the door and went in.
Behind the door was a large kitchen full of smoke. The Duchess was sitting on a stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was cooking soup.
“There’s too much pepper in that soup!” Alice remarked to herself sneezing.
There was too much pepper in the air too. Even the Duchess sneezed sometimes; and the baby was sneezing and crying all the time. The only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze[93] were the cook and a large cat which was grinning widely.[94]
“Please could you tell me,” said Alice, a little modestly, “why your cat grins like that?”
“It’s a Cheshire cat,” said the Duchess, “and that’s why.[95] Pig!”
Alice saw that the Duchess addressed the baby and not her so she decided to continue:
“I didn’t know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn’t know that cats COULD grin.”
“They all can,” remarked the Duchess; “and most of them do.”
“Hey! You may nurse it a bit,[96] if you like!” the Duchess said to Alice, throwing the baby to her. “I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen,” and she hurried out of the room.
Alice caught the baby with some difficulty. And it took her some time to start nursing it because it was wriggling and grunting all the time.[97] As soon as she could keep it tight in her hands[98] she took it out into the open air.
Alice was just beginning to think to herself, “Now, what will I do with this creature when I get it home?” when it grunted again, so loudly, that she looked down into its face in some alarm. There could be NO mistake about it:[99] it was a pig, and she felt quite absurd to keep it in her hands.
So she put the little creature down and it trotted away into the wood. Suddenly she saw the Cheshire cat sitting in a tree. The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice.
“Cheshire Puss,” she began shyly. The Cat only grinned a little wider. “Could you please tell me which way to go from here?”
“It depends on[100] where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“It’s not so important for me where – ” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter[101] which way you go,” said the Cat.
“ – until I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’ll surely do that,” said the Cat, “if you walk long enough.[102]”
“And what people live about here?” asked Alice.
“In THAT direction,” the Cat said, waving its right paw, “lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,” waving the other paw, “lives a March Hare. Visit the one that you like: they’re both mad.”
“But I don’t want to go to mad people,” Alice answered.
“Oh,” said the Cat: “but we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” inquired Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t be here.[103] Do you play croquet with the Queen to-day?”
“I would like it very much,” said Alice, “but I haven’t been invited yet.[104]”
“You’ll see me there,” said the Cat, and vanished.
Suddenly it appeared again.
“By-the-way, what became of the baby?” wondered the Cat. “I forgot to ask.”
“It turned into a pig,” Alice quietly said.
“I thought so,” said the Cat, and vanished again.
Alice waited a little but it did not appear, so she walked in the direction of the March Hare’s house. “I’ve seen hatters before,” she said to herself; “the March Hare will be much more interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won’t be absolutely mad – at least not as mad as it was in March.” As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a tree.
“Did you say pig, or fig?” asked the Cat.
“I said pig,” replied Alice; “and could you please stop appearing and vanishing so suddenly?”
“All right,” answered the Cat; and this time it vanished slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained in the tree for some time.
“Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!”
And she walked to the March Hare’s house. She saw it quite soon: the chimneys looked like ears and the roof was covered with fur.
Chapter 7. A Mad Tea-Party
There was a table under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse[105] was sitting between them, fast asleep.[106]
The table was large, but the three[107] were all together at one corner of it: “No room![108] No room!” they cried out when they saw Alice. “There’s a LOT of room!” said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.
“Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it except tea. “I don’t see any wine,” she remarked.
“There isn’t any,” said the March Hare.
“Then it wasn’t very polite of you[109] to offer it,” said Alice angrily.
“It wasn’t very polite of you to sit down without invitation,” said the March Hare.
“I didn’t know it was YOUR table,” said Alice; “it’s laid[110] for much more than three.”
The party sat silent for a minute. The Hatter spoke first. “What day of the month is it?” he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it, shaking it, and holding it to his ear.
Alice thought a little, and then said “The fourth.”
“Two days wrong![111]” noted the Hatter. “I told you butter couldn’t help!” he added looking angrily at the March Hare.
“It was the BEST butter,” the March Hare replied. He took the watch and looked at it unhappily: then he put it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could only repeat, “It was the BEST butter.”
“What a funny watch!” Alice remarked. “It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t tell the time!”
“Why should it?[112]“inquired the Hatter. “Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?”
“Of course not,” Alice replied readily: “but that’s because it stays the same year for a long time.”
“So does MINE,[113]” said the Hatter.