I didnt understand much of the meanings she put into her words, but the girls enthusiastic tirades require encouragement.
«Youre Aries, so you will definitely get to Kailash! But why should you give your lifetime to see it?»
***
We stayed in a very beautiful hotel, built in the style of a medieval castle, in a place surrounded by mountains, which were growing even out of the sea.
That day we had lunch at a restaurant on the beach, and Katya remembered me again about her «beloved».
«I dreamed about Kailash a long time ago, in childhood, and more than once. I was standing at the entrance to a cave and looking into a large stone mirror, as if someone had polished a piece of the mountain very smoothly. My mother was reflected in the mirror behind me. I turned around, but there was no mum there. I turned back to the mirror, and she was still smiling in the mirror»
I was about to object to her about the stone mirrors, but at that moment an elderly lady, walking nearby with a bowl of soup, stopped in front of us and passed her hand over Katyas head.
«The channel is open!» she said in a loud voice. «And the pillar is up to the sky! Your soul is so old! Is this the last time you live here?»
Katya and I looked at each other, and the woman had already gone her own way, obviously not eager to enter into discussions.
***
I booked a lot of different excursions. That day we went rafting on the river of the 4
th
«If I die, will you be sad?» Katya asked suddenly and clung to my shoulder.
«What the hell are you talking about!» I muttered.
Now, recalling these episodes, I wonder why we dont say kind words to our beloved ones, dont support them in their moments of sadness. Was it hard for me to answer something like, «Honey, of course, Im going to be not simply sad, damn sad! Please, dont die!» No, on the contrary, I grumbled!
When Katya put on a helmet and a vest before rafting, she looked like a twelve-year-old girl, although she always looked younger than her years. I would like Katya to give birth to my daughter, but all the time how many years? I put off the important decision «for a while».
I took a picture of Katya against the backdrop of a stormy river and a boat. We signed an agreement that the organizers didnt bear any responsibility for our lives and the like. After the briefing, we bravely rushed into the battle, not yet knowing that in one of the rapids, we were going to face, a tourist like us had recently died.
The instructors name was Sam. Originally from Nepal, he spoke English and knew a few words in Russian. I saw Katyas eyes light up.
«Sam,» she exclaimed, «have you seen Kailash?!»
«Oh, Kailash! This is a great mountain near my country!» Sam said proudly and looked up at the sky.
At that moment we were surrounded by delightful landscapes of towering mountains. And, to be honest, I didnt understand, what could be so extraordinary in some Kailash! There were a lot of mountains on Earth! I seemed to be the only one who hadnt sung praises to Kailash yet.
Our boat didnt capsize in the end, although two men did fall out of it.
***
We spent the next two days among the ruins of ancient towns.
«I seem to be able to fly over to that column!» confessed Katya, standing on top of a nameless hill with the remains of a temple.
«No, no, dont try!» I stopped her.
«And people of previous civilizations could fly! Just imagine, with the power of their own thoughts, they moved heavy stones and even mountains!»
«Are you talking about Kailash again?! Change mountain! There are a lot of them in the world!»
Katya pursed her lips in resentment and fell silent, but soon a local resident approached us, offering a parasailing, and I sent her to fly first over the sea, and then over the mountains.
Katya was an outgoing girl. Yes, a girl
It would seem that her tragic life experience, many times greater than my own, should instantly turn any creature into an old one, however, Katya looked young and remained a child in her soul.
She managed to combine the incongruous, was drawn to everything out of standard, loved extreme sports and sometimes, as it seemed to me, flirted with death. Katya was not afraid of it, she was afraid of spiders! Can you imagine? Afraid of insects, but not of dying! Strong-willed and kind, smart and beautiful, that was already a rarity, and at the same time completely defenseless, she clearly needed a strong male shoulder nearby.
Probably, I loved her, but I was afraid to admit it to myself I was afraid of responsibility and of losing my own independence I neither expressed my love openly nor pampered Katya.
For example, when we went for a walk in the local evening bazaar, she saw a tiny multi-colored onyx pyramid.
«Look, how beautiful it is!» Katya exclaimed. «Pyramids normalize, strengthen and focus energy, turning it in the right direction! They also translate the earthly into the heavenly! Every pyramid is real magic! They say the whole complex of mountains around Kailash is a city of various pyramids!»
That pyramid cost a penny, but I defiantly ignored such a transparent hint. Why didnt I buy Katya a piece of her coveted magic? I was already jealous of Katya to Kailash with all the fibers of my soul and absolutely indifferent to the pyramids, since I understood nothing in them. Highly likely, that not bought pyramid, as I think now, was my subconscious protest as a refusal to admit that Katya knew something I didnt, that during our shared life she had become more well-read and advanced in the Otherworld, she had grown a lot, overtaken me in many ways
***
Returning to the hotel after a walk along the sea, we heard a sudden shout behind us and looked back. A man in a white T-shirt with the logo of a large travel company for some reason desperately waved his hands, looking at us point-blank. We froze, and the man ran up to us.
«Have you forgotten about our night excursion?» he asked Katya.
«What do you mean?» she wondered.
«You bought it from me half an hour ago at the Sun Hotel!» the travel agent exclaimed and took out his notebook. «Here you are Svetlana!»
«No, you are confusing something. Im not Svetlana, Im Katya!»
«Besides, my friend,» I felt like showing my importance, «we are from another hotel, and we are leaving tomorrow morning. So, we have no time for night excursions!»
«Blimey! Sorry! It means the girl, settled in the Sun Hotel, is your exact copy!»
The man apologized again and left.
«A bad sign,» Katya said and became gloomy. «Copies are met shortly before the death of their original. Or beloved ones see the look-alikes of those who are about to die.»
«Come on! You havent seen Svetlana!»
However, its no use arguing with women. So, I decided
yes, it was my decision! thats the trouble! thats why Im still replaying our trip in my head day by day I decided to cheer her up! Instead of proceeding to the room to get our luggage ready for the trip, I suggested extending the last night of our vacation by attending an outdoor entertainment show.
That night, local dance groups made some performance on the territory of the hotel. Between dances, fakirs and other magicians demonstrated tricks, involving the tourists. Katya was clearly bored.
«Are you dreaming of Kailash?» I asked, barely restraining myself so as not to be sarcastic.
«Anyway, I need to get to it. They say whoever walks Kailash around 108 times will never come back on Earth! And I dont want to incarnate anymore!»
I got angry and yes, it was me again! when the fakir started inviting those who wanted to get a portion of adrenaline before going to bed, I pushed Katya to the stage.
«Kailash will wait!» I said.
Two guys in national costumes put Katya on the floor and covered her belly with a wooden board, and the third one, blindfolded, standing with his back to her, began to throw knives at Katya, over his shoulder, one by one, without a break. And they hit the board until another knife, flying by, crashed into the floor, and the one thrown next
Periodically replaying on my internal screen, like a video, both that evening and our years together, I blame myself more and more Not for having sent Katya to the stage, because I didnt wish her death at all! However, I got used so much to the constant presence of Katya somewhere nearby, that I stopped appreciating such a miracle in my life, so they took her away from me
Perhaps it was Kailash itself
September 20039. Канарейка
Светлана уже лет десять не появлялась здесь, но ехала на вечеринку к старой знакомой с лёгким сердцем и абсолютным спокойствием в душе. Лишь из простого женского любопытства ей хотелось взглянуть на Артёма, вдруг он живёт там же и окажется дома?
Тогда он работал в какой-то коммерческой фирме. Сначала всё было замечательно: одежда и еда исключительно из дорогих супермаркетов, машина самая-самая престижная, и не дача, а дворец. Но вскоре в душе Светланы образовалась бездонная пустота, и она почувствовала себя одинокой. Нет, она любила мужа, только он уходил из дома рано утром и возвращался по ночам постоянные встречи, переговоры, друзья, партнёры, клиенты и командировки. Ей не хватало его внимания, заботы и, наверное, любви. Светлана не раз просила уделять ей больше времени тщетно. «Ты ничего не понимаешь, в этом мире всё решают деньги!» говорил Артём, и ничего не менялось.
И однажды Светлана от него ушла в никуда, но достаточно быстро устроилась на неплохую работу, стала получать приличные деньги и жить не хуже прежнего. Она перестала грустить, вскоре снова вышла замуж и родила очаровательных близняшек, но в какой-то момент поймала себя на мысли, что ей уже всё равно, во сколько её второй муж возвращается домой, уделяет ли он ей время или нет. Переговоры так переговоры. Командировки значит, командировки.
У них были деньги, которые действительно решали всё.
«Подумать только! Я стала идеальной женщиной для Артёма», констатировала Светлана, проходя мимо его подъезда, и заметила свет в знакомом окне
Артём открыл ей дверь и удивлённо произнёс:
Какими судьбами?! А я в последнее время часто о тебе думаю. Заходи!
Светлана прошла в комнату и оценивающе огляделась по сторонам, но всё на том же уровне: дорогущая брендовая мебель, картины крутых художников Лишь в клетке на столе у окна она заметила маленькую птицу.
Я купил канарейку, чтобы мне не было одиноко, признался Артём.
Разве ты не женат?!
Разве женатые не бывают одинокими? Жена с детьми летом наслаждается Канарскими Островами. А ты как? Надеюсь, твой новый муж уделяет тебе больше времени, чем я?
Нет, представь себе. Но мне этого уже и не надо. Я не требую, чтобы он приходил домой пораньше, чтобы мы проводили свободное время вместе Я стала такой, какой ты хотел видеть меня десять лет назад.
Что с нами делает время! Тогда мне казалось, что ты слишком требовательна. Хотелось свободы. Наверно, я ещё не умел любить по-настоящему. Моя вторая жена готова жить и без меня ради собственного комфорта. Сейчас мне хочется, чтобы она просила меня, как ты, возвращаться домой пораньше, гулять с ней в парке, ходить в театры, но ей интересны только деньги Так жизнь дала мне понять, как сильно я заблуждался Дорого бы я заплатил, чтобы вернуться в прошлое и вернуть тебя.
В прошлое нельзя вернуться, потому что в него не нужно возвращаться.
Значит, ты не смогла бы влюбиться в меня снова?!
Мне пора
Они попрощались и в очередной раз исчезли из жизни друг друга.
Через полгода Светлана снова оказалась в тех краях, но уже по работе.
Припарковав машину, она направилась к офисному зданию на деловую встречу, ещё не зная, что та оборвётся внезапно одновременно с дыханием её жизни в соответствии с решением Судий о перемещении души Светланы на Небо путём тромбоэмболии. Шансы изменить судьбу, чтобы остаться на Земле, не всегда предоставляются людям в неограниченном количестве, иногда даже кажется несправедливым, что, например, никчёмный пьяница доживает до старости, а восхитительная бизнес-леди отзывается досрочно.
Проходя мимо винного магазина, у которого толпились не вполне трезвые люди, Светлана заметила на себе пристальный взгляд нелицеприятного мужчины.
Привет, произнёс Артём, подходя к ней, шатаясь.
Не ожидала увидеть тебя здесь. Что случилось?
Мой кенор сдох, пробормотал он.
Что? переспросила Светлана, не расслышав.
Последний друг Он ждал, когда я вернусь с работы Чирикал мне что-то на своём языке И сдох не вынес жизни в нашей проклятой семье! Зато теперь он является мне по ночам призраком Ты веришь в призраков?
Твоя канарейка умерла?
Артём кивнул и шепнул Светлане на ухо:
Беги от денег прочь. Я потрачу их все, чтобы они не испортили моих детей и не достались жене!
Что ты такое говоришь?! воскликнула Светлана, отшатнувшись от него в ужасе и подумав: как же хорошо, что их пути разошлись!
Да, наши пути разошлись, будто читая её мысли, произнёс Артём. И в прошлое невозможно вернуться, потому что в него не нужно возвращаться Но, кто знает, если бы ты не ушла от меня тогда, возможно, сейчас на моём месте оказалась бы ты
21 сентября 19959. A canary
Svetlana hadnt been there for ten years, but she went to her old friends party with a light heart and absolute peace of mind. It was only out of simple female curiosity that she wanted to have a look at Artyom, what if he still lived there and was at home.
He worked for a commercial company then. At first, everything was great, they had clothes and food exclusively from luxury supermarkets, the most prestigious car, and not a dacha, but a palace. However, soon a bottomless void appeared in Svetlanas soul, and she felt lonely. She loved her husband, who used to leave early in the morning and return at night, because of meetings, negotiations, friends, partners, clients and business trips, and she missed his attention, care and, probably, love. Repeatedly and in vain, Svetlana asked to devote more time to her.
«You dont understand anything, money rules the world!» Artyom used to say, and nothing changed.
One day Svetlana left him for nowhere, but quickly enough she got a good job, began to earn decent money and to live no worse than before. She stopped being sad, soon got married again and gave birth to charming twins. However, at some point, she caught herself thinking that she no longer cared what time her second husband came home, whether he devoted free time to her or not. Negotiations? Okay. Business trip? Okay as well.
They had money, that really managed everything.
«Just think about it! I became an ideal woman for Artyom,» Svetlana came to the conclusion, passing by his doorway, and noticed light in the familiar window
Artyom opened the door.
«Wow! What way?!» he said in surprise. «Ive been thinking about you a lot lately. Come in!»
Svetlana entered the room and looked around appraising. Everything was the same: luxury brand furniture, paintings by cool artists Although in a cage on the table by the window she noticed a small bird.
«I bought the canary not to feel lonely,» Artyom admitted.
«Arent you married?»
«Cant married people feel lonely? My wife with kids enjoy the Canary Islands every summer. And how are you? I hope your new husband spends more time with you than I did.»
«No, imagine. I dont need that anymore. I dont ask him to come home early so that we spend our free time together I became what you wanted me to be ten years ago.»
«What time makes of us! Back then, I thought you were too demanding. I wanted freedom. I suppose I didnt know to love true yet. My second wife is ready to live without me for her own comfort. Now I wish she asked me, like you, to come home early, to walk with her in the park and go to the theater, but money is the only thing she is interested in So life made me understand how much I had been mistaken I would pay much to return to the past and bring you back.»