My friend, Katya, picked me up at the hospital and drove me to the party. The guests were waiting for me at my sisters house. Her living room was beautifully decorated in lime and brown colors. The sign Its a Boy! hung on the wall and delicious food filled the table. The party was wonderful. My family and friends came to support me. They knew I was ill and they prayed for me. I thanked everyone for coming and told them I had only a two-hour-pass from the doctor. We ate, opened presents and took pictures. My ten-year-old daughter Kristina brought me food, opened the presents for me, and was just happy I was with her. The time flew by quickly.
Friends, I dont have time to read your cards, I said. But I will read them at the hospital. I promise.
Its okay, Olga. We wish you luck and we will pray for you, my friends and family answered. They prayed for me. It felt good to be surrounded by loved ones, who wanted our baby to live, and their gifts reflected it.
Happy that I could attend, I returned to the hospital. I was tired and went to bed. The nurse attached the monitor again to my belly. She turned it on every thirty minutes to check the babys heartbeat. I felt normal with no pain or headache and fell asleep. At about 11 p.m., a beeping noise woke me up. Frightened, I opened my eyes wide, looked at the monitor and saw that our babys heart beat had dropped dramatically from 150 to 56 beats per minute. In panic, I pressed the help button. The nurse ran into my room.
Olga, turn to your left side! she instructed.
I did. The babys heart beat went up. I calmed down and fell asleep again. In the morning the nurse told me that during the night, my babys heart beat had slowed down three more times.
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5
Do not be afraid, for God is always with you,
even though you dont see Him.
The next morning, I called Oleg. This was the first day of school for the new year. Normally, we would drop our children at my Moms house. Then the children would ride the school bus to the school near her house and in the afternoon, return for day care. But this year, because of the pregnancy and my plans to stay at home, I had transferred our children to the school nearest our house.
Oleg had no idea what it took to get David, Kristina and Michael ready for school in the morning. I was worried and wanted to know if he had survived, so I called him. He said it was hectic without me at home. He had to get the children ready for school, prepare breakfast and lunch for them, figure out the bus routine and get to work on time. He thought he did okay, but wished I was home to do that. I also wished I had been there to help him, but secretly was glad he now would find out what I did every day.
After talking to Oleg, I sat on my hospital bed and started reading the cards from my baby shower. After reading a few, my eyes paused on the third card:
How aII the Angels must have smiled
When Jesus chose this newborn Child
For you to love and cuddle, too -
A miracle that's aII for you!
Tears filled my eyes as I thought, Why did Jesus choose an ill baby for me? I felt my baby move He probably felt my worries and wanted to let me know that everything would be okay.
The doctors came to my room and said, Olga, it would be better for us to transfer you to Oregon Health and Science University (OHSU) in Portland. They specialize in heart surgeries that your baby would need right after delivery. We worry that your baby might be born early.
I still have ten weeks to be pregnant, I said. I cant have my baby today. I just want everything to return to normal and go home.
Olga, you will be safer at OHSU. We need your permission to transfer you there.
Its okay, I said. You can transfer me there.
I knew it would be best for me and my baby. I called my husband again and told him the news. Then, I got ready for the transfer.
Riding in an ambulance is a new experience for me. I am scared because I always associated the ambulance with people who had serious medical problems or were dying, I told the doctor my concern.
You will be safe, the doctor assured me. Everything will be okay.
We need you to lay on the stretcher, the paramedic said.
I can walk to the ambulance myself, I answered.
Olga, it is for your and our safety. You need to lie on the stretcher.
I did. They wheeled me out through the halls of the hospital. I didnt look or feel like I was sick. Someone young like me shouldnt need to be in a stretcher. I was the center of attention and it embarrassed me.
The ride was smooth with no sirens and no flashing lights. Inside the ambulance, my blood pressure increased and the nurse worried. When we arrived at OHSU, the driver wheeled me out from the ambulance. On a stretcher, I met the faces of new doctors, nurses and patients. Again, I could not believe it was me on that stretcher. Embarrassed, I was ready to hide my face under the blanket.
The paramedics took me to the intensive care room of the delivery unit. Two nurses gave me medications, started IVs, measured my blood pressure, and took blood for several tests. Then, the cardiologist, neonatologist and medical students came to introduce themselves.
The cardiologist said, Olga, we will try to keep you pregnant as long as possible, because it is too early for your baby to be born.
I know. I still have ten weeks to be pregnant. I cant have my baby born today, I answered, not even thinking of all the things that can really go wrong
The nurses monitored the babys heartbeat. During the day, the monitor would often beep to show that the babys heart rate was dropping and then it would recover. I did not know a lot about Preeclampsia and did not ask many questions because the nurses were busy. They were completing doctors orders, trying to decide if I should eat or not. I was very hungry, but had to wait and didnt know why. Later, I understood that they did not want me to eat before the surgery. They were not sure how soon they might have to do the C-section. I was given a shot with steroids, which was supposed to help our babys lungs open, in case he was born early.
In the evening, Oleg and the children came to visit me. The children told me about their first day at school and then asked, How soon you are coming home, Mama?
I hope, very soon, I said.
Today after work it took me two hours to read all the papers that our children brought from school, Oleg said. I had to sign so many of them and wished you were home to do that.
I just smiled and said, It is good for you, honey, to see what mothers usually do, all the things which seem to be easy.
After about an hour, Oleg and the children left for home. Tired, I fell asleep.
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Just before midnight, a worried nurse woke me up.
Olga, your babys heart is stopping about every five minutes, she said. The doctors are deciding whether to do the C-section or not.
Frightened and sleepy, I was trying to wake up and realize what was happening. Three doctors walked into my room.
Why is my babys heart stopping every five minutes? I asked, confused.
Your high blood pressure and the protein in your urine is causing your babys heart to stop, the first doctor explained. His heart defect is not the problem. It is you, Olga, who developed not only preeclampsia, but eclampsia, the final and most severe phase. Your placenta started to secrete substances that can cause dysfunction in your blood vessels. You may start having seizures or go into a coma. It also can damage your liver and kidneys. Both you and the baby can die. Basically, your body is killing your baby.
Olga, with his heart defect, your baby has less than 1% chance to survive, added the second doctor. You have two options. One is to let the nature take its course and let your baby die. We will induce you and remove the baby from your womb without surgery. The second option is to do an emergency C-section. We would not recommend the C-section because its a major surgery and your baby has such a small chance to live.
Even though the doctors had warned me, I didnt really believe that it would come to this. Let my baby die? What is happening? Where is Oleg? I need his help and support! I thought.
Do I have time to call my husband? I asked.
Yes, you do, the doctor answered and stepped out to the hall.
I called Oleg and told him as fast as I could, Our babys heart is stopping every 5 minutes. He is dying. The doctors are asking if we should let him die or do an emergency C-section on me. I need you to come to the hospital as soon as possible, please. I will call my Father and ask him to come and spend the night with our children. I will call you back.
I quickly called my Father and asked if he could spend the night with our children. My Father said he will and promised to pray for us.
I called Oleg back to ask him what to do, but for some reason he didnt pick up the phone. I tried again. No answer warned me.
Where is Oleg? Why he doesnt answer? I sat on my hospital bed, confused. Every minute counted. I thought to myself, How can I say, I am willing to let my baby die? Even if he has a 1% chance to survive, I should give it to him. The doctors should do the C-section. Even if my baby does not survive, I will have a scar to remember him by. THERE IS GOD IN HEAVEN, WHO GIVES LIFE AND WHO TAKES IT AWAY. I will give my baby all his chances. I know he will live!
The doctors came back into my room and asked again, So, Olga, what have you decided?
My husband is on his way here, I answered with a shaky voice. Please do the C-section. I will give my baby all his chances for life. God will make that final decision about our babys life.
Are you sure, Olga? This surgery is a major procedure, which we would prefer not to do on you.
Yes, I am sure.
Would you like us to save your baby when he is born? the doctor asked.
What do you mean? I asked confused.
Would you like us to let him die or provide him with breathing help and medications for his heart?
I would like you to do everything possible to save his life. God will take his life, if it is time, but I will do everything possible to help our son live.
The doctors were quiet for a minute and then left the room. They knew what I didnt want to accept. Only later, I realized if they told me that my baby had no chance for life, I would not be asking them to save him. But because they gave him that 1%, I asked them to save him. I knew miracles happen.
After about thirty-five minutes, which seemed an eternity to me, Oleg was finally with me in the room.
Olga, I am sorry it took me a while to get here, he said. The main entrance door of the hospital was locked, so, the security guard had to let me in through the back door.
Olegs face was pale. Only God knows what my husband experienced.
I have agreed to the surgery. I want to give my baby all his chances for life, I said with tears.
Olga, God will help us. No matter what happens, I just need you alive, Oleg said, hugging me and trying to hold his tears.
That night I turned thirty weeks pregnant; two and a half months early for our baby to be born. The nurses transported me to the operating room, while Oleg had to stay and change into a surgery outfit. Surprisingly, I felt an unusual peace and knew God was with me during that critical time. I felt like He was gently holding me in His hands with His angels surrounding me. I was doing everything possible to give our baby his chance for life and left the final decision up to God. What more could I do?
When Oleg came into the operating room, the doctor had already made the incision cut for the C-section. Oleg told me later that he had seen blood before, but not that much of it. It made him feel sick when he paused and looked at the surgery.
Sir, please sit down, the nurse said.
I am fine, Oleg answered.
You have to sit down, the nurse repeated.
I am fine, Oleg answered again.
Sir, you have to sit down because you can faint from seeing so much blood and we cannot be responsible for you.
Oleg sat on the chair next to me, hugged me, kissed me on my head and prayed quietly. The surgery went on for about an hour. I could not see anything behind the curtain, just felt the doctors pushing on my stomach. I felt no pain, no fear and did not cry. I didnt feel like myself. Usually, I would be so scared, but I was calm. I quietly prayed for God to be in charge and for His will to be done. After about ten minutes, the doctor delivered the baby and asked the nurses to take him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I could not see the baby or hear him cry. Oleg couldnt tell if the baby was alive. The doctors continued finishing my surgery.
After the surgery, I was taken to the recovery room for one hour. The nurse gave me medications and made sure I was okay. Oleg sat by me and held my hand. Another nurse came and asked if he wanted to go see our newborn son.
My husband left with her and shortly came back.
Our son is alive! he said relieved and excited. Olga, when you called me, I was under the impression that he had already died. All the way to the hospital I cried out to God because I wasnt sure what was happening. Olga, I was worried about you, too. My son is alive! He is moving his hands! Praise God!
I only now understood why Oleg hadnt answered my second phone call. Only God saw his tears and heard his questions. Oleg sat by me, held my hand and kept thanking God that our baby was alive.
The nurses started medications through an IV for our sons heart and provided him with breathing help, he explained. Our baby is in NICU in a warm incubator.
I was glad to see Oleg happy, even though he still worried. I was glad to hear that our baby was alive, and the doctors were taking good care of him. But after the anesthesia my mind was foggy, and I was in pain. Thank God, I was in one of the best hospitals in Oregon with good doctors and nurses, taking gentle care of me.
.
After an hour in the recovery room, I was taken to the Intensive Care Unit for postpartum mothers after a high-risk delivery. The nurses put my surgery bed next to the bed that I was to use in the room and asked, Olga, can you try to scoot from your bed to the one in this room?
I tried, but felt terrible pain from the C-section incision. Also, due to the anesthesia, I couldnt feel my legs at all. It was impossible to move. How do you move, when you dont feel your legs and experience severe pain? I became scared and started crying.
I am in lots of pain and cant feel my legs, I said.
Oleg offered to help the nurses move me, but they did not let him. They asked for help from a male nurse. They wrapped me in sheets and used them to move me from my surgery bed to the bed in the room. Then, the nurse gave me extra pain medications.
That night there wasnt a room available with a sleeping couch for Oleg. So, he slept on two chairs, sitting on one and resting his feet on another. I wanted to sleep, but I couldnt. The anesthesia medications made my whole body itch the minute I began falling asleep. I told the nurse, but she answered that it was a side effect of the medications.
In the morning, a room with a couch became available, so the nurses with my husbands help transported me there in a wheel chair. Oleg fell asleep on a couch right away. The nurses changed my wound dressing and started magnesium medication through an IV to lower my blood pressure. They were also giving me Ibuprofen and Vicodin to kill the pain. In addition to itching, I felt dizzy and developed a very bad headache. I was still unable to fall asleep.
.
Oleg slept for only a couple of hours. In the morning the nurse asked if he wanted to go visit our baby again. He was excited for the chance and left with her. When Oleg returned, he brought me a precious gift: he had taken a picture of our baby, so I could see him for the first time.