System life. How to organize life to cope with uncertainty and achieve results without burnout - Kolosov Semyon 4 стр.

Our brain contributes to the consolidation of a fixed mindset. It always overestimates threats, underestimates opportunities, and downplays the resources you have. Therefore, it is very important to analyze your mindset for parasitic thoughts. They limit growth. They keep you from taking a step that can change your life. Although this step doesnt have to be big. It may be microscopic, but you will not dare to take it, because you are afraid of even a small risk. All people are biologically equal, but they develop differently. There are no genes of genius and super intelligence. There are only your thoughts that limit or trigger actions. You can continue to complain that something is not given to you. Or you can just start learning something new, try, experiment and improve yourself. If you notice a fixed mindset in yourself, then urgently understand this topic. Better put my book aside, read «Mindset» by Carol Dweck and then continue. Without the growth mindset, useful information will be blocked, there will be no trust in it, and you will be forever looking for a silver bullet. System life is an exoskeleton for the growth mindset. You just need to start implementing it, and you will see that you are also capable of a lot. The whole book is written so as not to give you precedents for fixing a fixed mindset. So that you approach any changes, challenges or problems boldly and do not feel fear. Without any «what if, what if», etc. So that there is no doubt about achieving the result, and there is confidence that you will not give the back.

Motivation and vector

Today, the Internet is full of videos and articles about how to look for motivation. Supposedly there is «you» and your «goal», but there is no motivation. You really want something, but you dont do it. You would love to, but there is no motivation. And the puzzle does not add up in any way, and the movement towards the goal does not begin. There are many definitions of motivation. I like it when motivation is called a natural emotional state that encourages action. Because the key word here is «natural». Whatever definition you come across, the essence of motivation is the same  if you dont want something, then you wont do it. And if you want, then you will do it. Of course, if there are no insurmountable or time constraints. This is all you need to know about motivation and its nature. You need to figure out what you want and why, and not look for a button that will kick you in the ass so that motivation is revealed. If motivation needs to be sought in a special way, then how can we watch TV shows without it, spend money on junk food or go to the dentist. Everything happens by itself. Invisible forces are activated, prompt to action and do not calm down until there is a result. These invisible forces are called stimulation and motivation.

Incentives stimulate, not motivate, thats the big difference. Incentive (Latin. stimulus) is a stick of an elephant driver or a sharp metal tip on a pole, which is used to drive a bull. In scientific terms, it is a strong motivating moment; an internal or external factor that causes a reaction, an action. In physiology and psychophysiology, this concept is identical to the concept of irritation. Everything is clear here. The stimulus is like a stick that hits us on the back. It causes pain and discomfort, from which you want to run away. And motivation is the desire to satisfy the significant needs of a person. Otherwise, we can say that these are the true desires of a person. What exactly he\she wants. These processes are not a secret development of information gypsies or a method of unscrupulous coaches. They exist exactly as long as people exist, and are conditioned by basic human needs. What was the main human need when people ran with clubs through forests and lived in caves? Protect yourself, survive and continue the race. This task was carried out and is being carried out by the instinct of self-preservation. In every person, it manifests itself in the form of escape and curiosity. Escape is an incentive to avoid danger, and curiosity is a motive to learn and master new things for adaptation and survival. In a group, the instinct of self-preservation through social interaction moves a person up the hierarchical ladder, to power, or down, under the protection of those who are stronger. In order for the species not to become extinct, it is necessary to reproduce. We are not animals for whom reproduction is just an instinct. A person needs to make an impression and be impressed by others in order for reproduction to happen. The instinct of self-preservation at these levels forms the basic needs of a person. They have not gone away, but they have changed with the development of the world. Today, instead of needs, the designation «basic values» is more suitable. In most cases, the basic needs of all people are closed. Basic human values have come to the fore. Such as money, status, image, development and psychological comfort. These are all the same basic needs, but in a different form. For example, money performs the function of security, and image and status describe a place in the social structure and help to delight people. Attitudes to basic values change throughout life depending on age, health, qualifications, life experience, family and other circumstances. The same person at 18, 30 and 50 will prioritize life differently. Usually there are 23 main basic values that influence the choice of lifestyle, environment, work and hobbies. If the aspiration is based on the closure of basic values, then the motivation will be natural. If you do something because you are afraid of losing basic values, then it is an escape from discomfort. That is, an incentive. It is often possible to find the designations «motivation from» and «motivation to». Its all about the same thing.

It is necessary to analyze motivation, since most people are stuck in the zone of dissatisfaction with the comfort zone. Basic needs are fulfilled, there are not so many annoying stimuli, but there is no motivation either. Its like a comfort zone, but the awareness of how it should be does not allow you to enjoy what you have. The parable about the dog on the nail describes this condition well.

One day a man was walking past a certain house and saw an old woman in a rocking chair, an old man reading a newspaper was rocking in an armchair next to her, and a dog was lying on the porch between them and whining, as if in pain. Passing by, the man wondered to himself why the dog was whining.

The next day he was walking past this house again. He saw an elderly couple in rocking chairs and a dog lying between them and making the same plaintive sound. The puzzled man promised himself that if the dog whines tomorrow, he would ask the elderly couple about it.

On the third day, to his misfortune, he saw the same scene: the old woman was rocking in a chair, the old man was reading a newspaper, and the dog was whining plaintively in its place. He couldnt take it anymore.

«Excuse me, maam,» he said to the old lady.

 What happened to your dog?

 To her?  asked the old lady.  Shes lying on a nail.

Confused by her answer, the man asked:

 If shes lying on a nail and it hurts, why doesnt she just get up?

The old lady smiled and said in a friendly, affectionate voice:

 So, my dear, it hurts her enough to whine, but not enough to move from her place.

Many people are also in a situation where everything is fine, they want to do even better, but there is no motivation to act. Or not good enough, but it has not yet reached the incentives when security will be affected. A person does not act for three reasons: he does not want to, cannot, or does not know how. If, after quoting Andrew Grove from the book «High-Performance Management», the last two reasons do not seem so complicated, then only the first one remains. Your desire.

Being bombarded with information noise and society, a person cannot consciously think about his desires. Why dig if you can already see what you need. You can see what kind of people are trending, and who everyone loves. Therefore, someone is happy, and someone makes unsuccessful attempts to motivate themselves for other peoples goals and googles «how to overcome procrastination.» Procrastination was invented by the same people who are taught to look for motivation in violent ways. Why come up with such a complicated word for the process when you cant find the strength and energy for a job that you dont want to do? Its not procrastination  its you who dont want to do something, dont know how, cant do it, or cant avoid it. Deal with desires  there will be no problems with motivation, procrastination and purpose. There are a number of factors and processes that help to maintain motivation, but this will be discussed in detail in the goal setting. If you have no motivation, then there are no desires. If there are no desires, it means that you cannot distinguish, see, recognize, and accept them. You cant focus on your desires, admit to them, or get confused among the desires imposed by society. Everyone runs  and I want to, all bloggers  and I want to be one, etc. Ask yourself: what are your desires? What do you want? What basic values are important to you? The more times in your life you ask these questions, the more you will think about the right aspiration. Instead of thinking about what to do or what to love more than just going to work and ordering food. Understand your desires, look for them, dig deeper. And then motivation will be your energy, and not a third force that you need to look for somewhere and never find.

The primary task is to get rid of the actions that you do because of the incentives as much as possible. You need to get into the comfort zone to start working with motivation. For example, because of the incentives, I did homework, went to university and hated work. I managed to get rid of the stimuli in the following way. Its not a fact that it will suit everyone, but it worked for me. When I still didnt understand what motivates me and where motivation comes from, I used a technique that I now call «Marty». This is a character from the movie «Back to the Future». He was constantly provoked «to dare», and he got involved in various challenges to prove that he could do anything. Ive done something similar. When I was sitting at home in Donetsk and thought that I had to get up for work tomorrow at 5 in the morning, I asked myself 3 questions: «Do I deserve this?», «Why am I doing what Im doing, and what will it give me in the future?» and «What do I really want?». I understood that I had brains, abilities, family and friends. Does it have to be that I work at a factory and live in an apartment with my grandmothers repair? Stupid people tell me what to do, fine me and teach me about life. I dont sleep much; I dont see my wife and friends. I considered the situation as a threat to the security of my meaningful life, and there were no questions that something should be changed. I was afraid of losing a meaningful and controlled life. Therefore, in this way I motivated myself to break into changes in order to prove to myself that I could.

Motivation is a different thing. In 2011, I graduated from university and realized that no one needed me and my diploma. Everyone needs work experience and real skills to do something. For a long time, I resisted admitting to myself that 5 years of training were useless for my professional activity. What does it mean that I studied for 5 years, and now I have to study again to how a cool job? Then I tried to start from something based on fashion, demand and money. I tried to learn programming and understand marketing, but everything went by. Nothing worked. At some point I gave up and just started doing what I like. My weekends did not coincide with my wife, and more often I spent them alone. Then I was engaged in music, so I was interested in sound engineering, creating electronic drums, video editing and photography. At night at work, I read articles about different programs, and on weekends I made drums and different effects for videos and photos. I slept for 4 hours, got up and studied again. There were no problems with motivation and procrastination. I was just enjoying myself and didnt think it wouldnt bring me money. I just did what I like, as successful coaches advice. I always laughed at these words, but, funnily enough, it turned out that way. Gradually, because of the music, I became interested in cover design, delved into the study of Photoshop, then web design, then layout of landing pages, and so on. As a result, I realized that I like creating websites. My focus has shifted to web development and design. After some time, I already knew about the basic engines and could make a landing page. The desire to move to Moscow appeared due to the availability of vacancies in web design. After 2 years, I got the desired position. I was the head of the website development department, then switched to mobile applications at red_mad_robot, became the head of the project office of the design direction, participated in the relaunch of the direction as an operating director, organized a dream team, and then moved to the educational direction of Verno by red_mad_robot. If they had told me in Donetsk in 2013 where I would live and what I would do, I would have twirled my finger at my temple. Initially, I wasnt going to do all this and didnt even know it was possible. I just started doing what I like, and that brought me to the current state of affairs. I was just doing something and developing in it. This does not mean that if you love football, you can get up from your workplace, send your boss to hell and go to the football academy. Its also «do what you like». Everything needs to be done correctly and without sudden movements. We need a safe environment, not an exit from the comfort zone to starve and sleep on the street. The processes in this book will help you to act rationally and save the time I spent then.

Vector

Your desires create not only motivation, which is the fuel of movement towards the goal, but also determine the vector of your goals. By vector I mean what many call the mission of life, destiny or vocation. Here is the same story as with motivations. Everyone is looking for their purpose in different ways, going through a bunch of articles and videos on how to find it. And still no one can find it. If you have a lot of fundamental tasks, you are in debt or there is no energy, then everything is simple if we are talking about the vector. You need to get rid of the stimulating conditions in order to get back on your feet and stabilize the situation. Then you can activate motivation, choose an ambitious vector, start the path to a dream and to great deeds. Consider that solving fundamental problems is like a slip before a sharp start. A journey of a thousand steps begins with a single step. Our task is to prepare the legs so that they can do it. The system life can be applied both to the slip and to further movement. Why do I call it a vector and not the meaning of life, a global goal, mission or vocation? I believe that there is no vocation. We were not born to be happy and successful. We are people whose goal is to get maximum pleasure and avoid pain. Stimuli help to avoid pain, and having fun has become a new difficult task for a person. To get it, you first need to understand what is delivering it to you. We no longer get pleasure from the fact that we dont have to hide in a cave from predators, get food and do a bunch of other dangerous things of primitive man. These pleasures have lost their value. As in the law of diminishing marginal utility.